2. The Chiaroscuro Attempt

He took his coffee at home but here he was again, downing black coffee, strong and sweet. This is just for fortifying his reserve. Sipping his coffee in resolute silence, he waits for Kibum to initiate the conversation.

"I heard that the gallery is going well," Kibum begins, his voice carrying enthusiasm, eyes congratulatory and open. This was how they begun too. He had paint smudged on the side of his nose, frantically leafing through an Orsay Museum catalogue in the university library. He remembers that Kibum's eyeglass frames were red. In the evening, Donghae drew ballpoint art using only red ink.

"Yes, thanks," He replies civilly, "The first year was rough but when my work got some direction it was all uphill from there," Inadvertently he had opened up himself towards his companion. After all, he thinks, he shouldn't be giving Kibum any sort of mixed message.

"I saw your works being reviewed in art magazines while I was in China," Donghae feels the beginning tick of his left eyebrow. For one, Kibum was never interested in his art. Sure, he was interested after that first library encounter. Being the student assistant to the library staff, he had reprimanded Donghae for smudging the portfolio with his paint-smeared fingers. "The artwork breathes. I knew it was yours the moment I saw it. You have a very distinct style even back in school." This was what he told Donghae when they started out too. His eyes betrayed the constant boredom it usually sported back then. He was Donghae's muse when their relationship started. Mountains drawn the same way that Kibum's nose would slope, the contours of his cheek traced on still life apples.

His eyebrow twitching was going at staccato speed. There was a roiling thickness in the pit of his stomach as Kibum talks about his art with such familiarity. Fresh out of college, Donghae continued with his art as he and Kibum shared an apartment. Stuck in the financial center of the city, Kibum takes the routine day job and comes home--always like clockwork. 

Living with an artist was erratic at best. Donghae has his creative quirks. Inspiration could strike at any moment and it should be captured as soon as it flies past Donghae's mind's eye. His art came first before anyone else and it was frustrating for someone like Kibum who was used to the rigidity of the finance and accounting, the hawk-like monitoring of stocks. 

"Why are you here?" He sharply cuts off Kibum's detailed observations of his paintings featured in the Chinese magazines. He was making comments about the fingerpainting and the pastels. He had such nerve when their tumultuous years began, Kibum came home drunk one night, strong desire coursing through him expecting to see Donghae ready and waiting to service him only to find him fingerpainting pink carnations in a field of green. There was a lot of shouting and the argument ended in the destruction of the piece. Donghae spent 8 hours carefully imprinting his fingerprints on it and it only took less than a minute to punch a  hole through its center. 

"I just wanted to--check on you," Kibum says, leaning forward, wanting to catch Donghae's hand in his but the other man pulls back, cup of coffee in hand.

"Aren't you based in China now?" He asks suspiciously. To check on you also meant "you better not be wasting money buying paintbrushes or easels or tubes of paint". Kibum shrugs and gives a half-smile.

"Actually, the main office gave me control over the Korean operations now," Kibum's face was glowing with evident pride for his achievement. Maybe he expected Donghae to congratulate him.

"What does that have anything to do with me?" Congratulations are not in order. It means that Kibum is back and there is not a city big enough for both of them. Three years was a long time of being together and in those times, he and Kibum have been through moderate wealth but also went close to poverty.

"Donghae..." Kibum sighs and mulls over what he is going to say next, "I just...want to make amends with you. Maybe right what I have done wrong," Donghae, in their moments of near poverty was the one who had to give up his art in order to make ends meet. Being the yuppie that he was, there was an office altercation that had Kibum landing a punch on his supervisor's face promptly leading to his termination. No one would hire him after that, Donghae was forced to get three jobs, waiting on tables from early morning until the wee hours of next day with barely any sleep.

Donghae's fingers clutch his mug as he scoots farther from Kibum, leaning back on his seat. "You...can't." There is quick look of surprise from Kibum before it gets schooled back to nonchalance. "Can you bring back all of the art you destroyed?"

"I can't but--"

"Do you remember what happened to that painting I made of my father holding me and my brother to his chest when we were kids?" Kibum squirms in his seat at the question. That was Donghae's self-proclaimed masterpiece. Donghae made it for his mother's birthday. wedged between the frame and the canvas was a money packet. Kibum, drunk and jobless, in need of his alcoholic fix, broke the wooden frame and stole the money to get soju.

"I can pay you back now..."

That was one of the many fights. Memorable for the zygomatic fracture Donghae got. The first battering. There was shoving and before he knew it,  he was grabbed by the neck, head hurtling and meeting the wall. If you could have gotten an actual job than being a lout, we wouldn't have ended up like this. "No amount of money in the world can bring that back," Donghae says softly, setting down the mug on the table, afraid that he might spill all over himself with his unstable hands.

"That's why I'm here, Hae," This time, Kibum catches Donghae's hands between his, "Even if I can't bring that back, we can make new memories now," Donghae remembers fire. Spreading rapidly through canvas and popping in bursts as it devours paintbrushes, easels and paints. Donghae came back one night to see the mess of his life's work and his life's meaning burning in the open space of their apartment parking lot.

"What makes you think I'd want to make new memories with you?" He yanks his hands from Kibum's hold. "You broke my face. I had to give up my art to feed you and keep a roof over your head and what did you do? You burned all of my paintings! You didn't spare anything!"

There was defiance in Kibum's eyes upon mention of the burned paintings and supplies. "But it made you create better ones, right?" 

"EXCUSE ME?!" Donghae does not know whether he wants to burst to tears or hurl the dark coffee at Kibum, "You have such gall, Kim Kibum. You have beaten and abused me, left me almost for dead, but I stayed because I was so blind to everything but you, I thought you loved me for everything and nothing."

"The themes of your artwork now has grown and matured. It has become sublime and the beauty is something that people gravitate to," He speaks as if he knows the thought process that went into his work. "It's so much better--and marketable--than the ones you used to make when we were together before,"

Donghae smiles, thinking that Kibum probably missed something, "And you'd think that after leaving you for almost three years now, my art is still thanks to you?"

"Yes,"

Donghae tries to keep the laughter that wanted to break out from inside of him, tries to gulp it down and wills it to stay dormant for when he needed a really good laugh. But now is a perfectly good time to laugh so he lets loose, his laughter raising high up and out splattering against Kibum's skin like hurled paint thrown from dipped paintbrushes.

"What do you know about me, Kibum? Aside from my artwork, what else do you know? Do you know what I'm like now? Three years is a long time to--" 

"Donghae..." Both men look towards the voice. Donghae stands and rushes towards the man by the counter. He had jet black hair and a sharp-angled face. He grasps Donghae's hand and wraps his arm around him briefly before letting him go. They exchange words and Kibum feels uncomfortable with the way Donghae leans in way too close to the other man. He nods and Donghae leads him to their table.

Kibum stands to be introduced. He smiles genially and stretches his hand towards the stranger. "Hello, I'm Hyukjae," The grip is light and Kibum notices the way his lips thin into a slight smile.

"I'm Kibum, nice to meet you," They all sit, Donghae remaining silent as Hyukjae scoots his chair closer to Donghae's side. Kibum does not miss how Hyukjae's hand linger on Donghae's thigh.

"I haven't known you back when I knew Donghae...um...Hyukjae," Kibum begins as Hyukjae his head to the side, nodding. "I was Donghae's--"

"Friend from college. Donghae sometimes talks about you," Hyukjae says, cutting him off. His smile is still warm but Kibum detects that something more.

"We haven't been in touch for three years so Iapologize if I have only known of you now," Kibum replies to which Hyukjae nods. They are silent and Donghae squirms uncomfortably in his seat. Donghae can feel the way Kibum and Hyukjae are sizing each other up. Its as exciting as watching paint dry, to be honest.

"You two play nice, I think I want something to munch on," Donghae stretches and before leaving, he gestures for Hyukjae with his palm up. The other man looks up at him, an eyebrow arched, but he reaches behind him and slips his credit card to Donghae.

Kibum gives Hyukjae a curious stare to which he shrugs. "Don't act like I don't know about you, Kim Kibum. As soon as I get Donghae to leave, you and I will talk," The cool and calm way he said this sends a shiver down Kibum's spine. absently inspecting his nails, Hyukjae looks up with a scowl.

"You and I have a score to settle,"

The smile Hyukjae directs at him is different from the smile he was greeted with. Even with the crinkly eyes and the inviting pink of his gums, Kibum is scared.

TBC.

a/n: HOLLA! So how was it? Hopefully we have 1 or 2 more chapters to go!! There's not much I want to say but I'm just glad I finally churned out a chapter? And I am awfully bored so I need distractions and because my body hurts. Leave a comment and I can share cupcakes! <3