Mouse

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring; ‘cept

One lil’ mouse.

There is only one sound I can hear.

My breath.

Puffs of air, the time intervals between each inhale growing progressively shorter.

My left hand anxiously gripped the door handle. Its cold, metallic touch sapped me of my energy, as if binding me to the pitch back living room I attempted to leave behind.

“What are you so afraid of, Yoona” I muttered to myself, “you’re just going to the washroom.”

Still the fine hair on the back of my neck tingled nervously. Just as it had when Taeyeon disappeared.

I could still see her sending me a quick reassuring smile as I stepped out for a second. It was just a second. No more. All I wanted to do was have a quick word with Hyoyeon. And Taeyeon was in the middle of the house hanging ornaments on the Christmas tree. Nothing should have happened. Nothing could have happened. Oh god. What if they were right? 

The others, the others blamed me- they said it was my fault. That I should have known better. That I wasn’t careful. No, no. This house is mundane. Her disappearance is mundane. So why is my stomach being pulled to my throat at the thought of being alone?

The black hallway stretched out in front of me. Daring me to step into the expansive darkness and let go of the doorknob that tethered me to the presence of human company.

Voices invaded my inner thoughts.

Tiffany’s hysterical shrill: “It only takes those that are alone, you know that, Yoona. I told you, Yoona. Taeyeon’s the forth! Four people! How many have to disappear before you get it through your thick head?”

Jessica’ frustrated groan: “She may have felt sick and just had to leave. I’m sure she’s fine – there is no such thing as demons or ghosts or whatever delusion you have going on.”

Seohyun’s soothing confidence: “Right. But it’s true that people have been disappearing when left alone, Jessica. How about we all just bunker down in the living room, eh Tiffany? We’ll all spend the night together – there’s nothing to be afraid of.”

Nothing to be afraid of. Except being alone.

I quickly turned back to the living room, never letting go of the doorknob earning me a natural, worldly creak of the old wooden floorboards beneath my feet.

And my reward for playing it safe was just as ordinary: an empty room.

My eyes, still adjusting to the night, revealed a lack of a single body in the living room. Yet the layers of blankets and piled pillows still lay at the center of the two couches and Taeyeon’s Christmas tree in the corner.

A cold breath gently blew into the nape my neck followed by the strange sensation crawling up my spine, as if someone had taken an icicle to the bare of my back and was tracing its way up ever so slightly.

I arched my back, clasped my ears, and clamped the lids of my eyes shut: this isn’t real. I’m dreaming. I never left the living room, I was never alone!

I’m simply in the living room with the girls.

I stumbled my way over to our makeshift bed and allowed myself to fall freely face first into the pillow.

My eyes closed and hearing muted left me with only the feeling of my hearts agitating beating.

There is no such thing as ghosts.

Thump.

There is no such thing as demons.

Thump.

When I wake up I will be greeted with the sight of the others by my side.

Thump.

There is nothing pulling my head right now.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

My neck is not being twisted.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

I’m going to die.