It’s been there for years. Years that it does want to break free; but Soohyun just wouldn’t let it. He wouldn’t let his feelings; love to be exact, for Dongho, to be known by the other or by anyone else. He doesn’t want his dongsaeng to be confused. Hell he loves him that much.

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          One day, in an interview, they are asked who the member they are the closest with is and the result comes:

Dongho -> Eli

Eli -> Dongho

Kibum -> Kevin

Kevin -> Kibum

Kiseop -> Soohyun

Soohyun -> Kiseop

Alexander -> All

          Well, Alexander doesn’t want to pick a member because, for him, they are all his dongsaengs he loves so much. As for Kevin and Kibum, there is obviously no doubt because they’ve been together in Xing before and they are just so close. That’s why there is a KEMARU couple. Kiseop chose Soohyun because when he first joined UKISS, Soohyun is the first to approach him and with that, he didn’t feel awkward at all with the group. For Soohyun, God knows how much he wanted to choose Dongho but he doesn’t want to be left aside so he chose Kiseop instead. That’s how the result came up but nevertheless, all of them are close to each other.

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          Soohyun is hurt. He tried hard not to let anyone know; though he changed. He is not anymore the oh-so-energetic Soohyun that s used to know. But Dongho, being the keen observer he is, noticed his hyung’s actions and he told himself that he would ask his hyung why.

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          It is one of those afternoons that they don’t have schedules; but only Soohyun and Dongho can be found on their dorm. The others went somewhere to have fun. Usually, on times like this, Soohyun would ask Dongho if the boy wants to go watch a movie with him all day. Though Soohyun would most likely forced Dongho to, but Dongho wouldn’t complain about it. It is actually fine with him. They would sit on the sofa on their dorm and Dongho would cling onto his hyung’s arm.

          This time, it’s different. Soohyun is watching on his own. No Dongho beside him. Well, he’s watching those movies but not comprehending any.

          It was just then when Dongho woke up and went to the living room; found his hyung on the sofa. He went to his hyung and put on a face as he clung to his hyung’s arm which made the other snap out of his thoughts. “Hyung, why didn’t you wake me up? You usually wake me up when it’s movie time. And to take note that no matter how tired and sleepy I am, you still ask me to accompany you to watch movies when it’s our free day.” Dongho whined a little and asked at the same time.

“Ohhh… Ahhhh… Mianhae Dongho.” Soohyun didn’t know what to tell the maknae.

“Hyung, are you okay? Is there anything bothering you?"

“The… There’s none. Really.”

“But… But why do you seem so… so lost?

          Soohyun never imagined that Dongho would even notice. He thought the boy has no time for things like that. Well, maybe, he said to himself, it’s time for Dongho to know the truth about it all?

“I… I… I’m just jealous” He then lowered his head and faced the floor.

“Jealous? To whom? Is it some girl that you like but then you found out that she already has a boyfriend?”

“No. I’m jealous of you and Eli.”

“Me and Eli hyung?” Dongho gave his hyung a questioning look.

“Ye… Yes.”

“Wae?”

“Because you are closer to him than to me.”

“Aist hyung. That’s a silly reason. Is this about that interview we had a few days back? I just told them that I am closer to Eli hyung coz I know you will choose Kiseop hyung and that, the feeling isn’t mutual.” Soohyun is dumbfounded.

“But I love you.”

“Of course I love you too hyung. You are my favorite hyung.” The atmosphere felt a little too awkward for Soohyun when his dongsaeng gave him a comforting smile and put his head on his shoulder.

“But… you don’t understand."

“I… I love you more than just a brother. More than just a friend.”

“But hyung…” Dongho couldn’t believe it. His hyung loves him more than just a friend?

“It’s okay Dongho~yah. I understand. Just think of it like nothing had happened. And I hope we’ll stay like before?” Soohyun left Dongho alone on the sofa, still shocked from the confession.

          Dongho couldn’t understand his feeling right at the moment. He knew to himself that he did the right thing but something inside him disagrees.

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         Days passed. Weeks passed. Soohyun and Dongho aren’t anymore like they used to be and the other members came to notice it of course.

        Soohyun would always go with the other members, especially with Kiseop. He’s avoiding Dongho for heaven’s sake and he’s making sure that he wouldn’t be alone with the other. When it comes to work, it’s fine though.

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          Throughout the whole time not being with his Soohyun~hyung, Dongho felt lonely and found himself longing for his hyung’s presence. Whenever he is seeing Soohyun with Kiseop, he would suddenly feel a little uneasy and hurt. It was like a part of him is being taken away. He is… jealous; in a way he thought he shouldn’t be.

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          One day, an ordinary day for the boys; a day with schedules but not that many. Good thing because Dongho will miss so much in case. He wouldn’t be able to make it to their schedules because the boy is sick.

          They can’t just leave the boy alone so there must be someone to stay with the maknae and take care of him. No arguments are made. No discussions; because the boys made sure that the one to be left at home is Soohyun (of course Soohyun doesn’t know). The others, including their manager drove off to their schedules leaving Soohyun alone with Dongho. Happiness is visibly seen on their faces, if you would ask. Well, not sure about Soohyun. And what Soohyun doesn't know is that something unexpected will happen.

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Author's Note: 

Hmmmmm.... the first part., Well, I made it really long so I've decided to make it in installment., Will be posting the next part as soon as I've typed it. Tell me what you think., :) Gomawo., Arigatou., XieXie., Gracias., Thank you., (^-^)