Amber slowly followed the rest of the sleepy f(x) members into their van. It had been a busy and long Saturday beginning with an early filming for Weekly Idol, a radio recording for Cultwo, a photo shoot for Elle Korea and then finally ended with six long hours of practice at the SM Building. Amber –as well as everyone else- was exhausted. When their manager finally drove up to the f(x) dorm, Victoria smiled at a drowsy Amber –who happened to be the only other one awake besides herself- and poked each of the younger members to wake up. Finally after the non-stop pokes, they all wearily followed one another up to their dorm.

Victoria pushed the younger girls to shower -while pushing Krystal to wash up first so she would have a little time to review her script- before walking back into the living room to tilt her head at the sight of Amber. “Something wrong, Amber?”

Amber glanced up from her spot on the sofa and gently shook her head. “Nothing, unnie. I’m fine… just tired,” she replied, pulling her knees up to wrap her arms around. She closed her eyes and wearily rested her head on her knees… releasing a sigh.

Victoria frowned at the younger girl and moved to sit by her. “You sure?” At the silent nod from Amber, Victoria sighed, but raised a hand to pat her head. “Missing him?” she continued to ask, knowing better than to say his name without risking the younger girl breaking into tears.

Without raising her head, Amber simply nodded in response… squeezing her eyes to stop the tears from falling.

Victoria pursed her lips and reached out for her handphone that she had placed on the coffee table before rushing the younger girls out of the room. She opened up the email of the schedules for the next day and slowly smiled. “Amber… you don’t have any schedules for tomorrow morning. Do you want to go to his place and do your thing?”

Amber raised her head and blinked at Victoria. “Are… are you sure that’s ok unnie?”

“Aigoo… I wouldn’t have said it if I wasn’t ok with it, pabo,” Victoria said and lightly pushed at Amber’s head. She smiled when the younger girl faintly giggled. “That’s more like the Amber I know.” She watched Amber as she —not so tiredly—stood and half-ran to her room to get some over-night things, before stopping outside her room.

“B-but… manager oppa already left,” Amber said, wondering how she would get to his place.

Victoria shook her head. “I can call Zhoumi oppa to come give you a ride… just hurry up and get ready, araso?”

“Yes, unnie,” Amber replied with another smile and continued to run to her room. She felt happy and blessed that many people –at least those that knew from SM, which included the f(x) members, their manager, and most of their SM labelmates- supported her relationship with her boyfriend and actively helped her out in situations like this. She picked up her backpack and threw in pajamas, and a change of clothes for the next day and ran back to the living room.

“All ready?” Victoria asked as she walked back from the kitchen with a glass of water.

Amber smiled and nodded. “Yes, unnie. When is oppa coming?”

Victoria giggled at the younger girl. “So eager, Ambie… you’re so cute when you act like this!” Amber rolled her eyes but simply kept on smiling. “He said he should be here within ten minutes and was glad we got a hold of him before he turned in.”

Amber nodded, feeling grateful he was willing to stop by, even at that late of hour. “I owe you and your boyfriend dinner one of these nights,” she said as she sat down on the sofa to impatiently wait.

Victoria widened her eyes. “You’re not going to cook are you?”

A not-so feminine snort came from Amber in reply. “Yea, right… you and I both know that if I cooked, you’d be hovering and end up doing the cooking anyways,” she said and stuck her tongue out at the elder. “I meant like taking you two out to dinner, or something like that.”

Victoria shook her head though secretly agreed with everything Amber had said. “I’m sure Zhoumi would be ok with a free dinner, though you know you don’t have to.”

Amber smiled. “I know, but I want to... just tell me when you’re both free,” she said and played with her bracelet... the one she had received from her boyfriend their first Christmas together.

><

“Thank you oppa. I really appreciate you coming out to bring me here,” Amber said as she stood and held the door to Zhoumi’s car open.

Zhoumi smiled and shook his head. “Anything for a little sister, Amber. You sure you’re going to be alright?” he asked, reaching into the back to pull her backpack to the front.

Amber nodded and fought the urge to just run into the apartment building. “It’s almost one, so I should be able to run in unnoticed,” she said, hoping that that would be the case. She wasn’t looking forward to having to explain why a young girl… an idol… would be entering an apartment that was miles from her own home in the middle of the night.

“Alright, Amber… but you have my number if you need me, k?” Zhoumi asked worriedly.

“Yes, oppa… I’ll be fine though.”

Zhoumi chuckled, knowing just how anxious Amber was acting. “Alright… you know the drill. Get going.”

Amber quickly waved, closed the door and walked away. She pulled up the mask securely over her face, and pulled her cap down before walking into the building. She felt a little paranoid with all her precautions but knew it was better to be safe than sorry. She hummed a random song that she had been working on while she waited for the elevator to stop on the seventh floor. She stepped out and out of habit looked around before walking over to apartment seven-o-four. She slid up the key cover and entered the code, mentally saying the numbers… nine-one-eight-nine-two and smiled when the usual click sounded. She closed the door, the hallway light and ran to the living room. She the lamp and headed towards the windows before waving down at the waiting car below. Without waiting for a response, she headed back to the lamp and turned off the lamp… turned it on… turned it off… and finally turned it on one last time, knowing Zhoumi would know she was ok now and leave to go back to his own apartment.

Amber turned around and smiled… already feeling comfort that she was at her boyfriend’s apartment… even if she was alone. She took a deep breath and frowned… it no longer smelled like him and the feeling of pain of being without him made her want to scream. But of course she didn’t… she took a deep breath and quietly walked into his bedroom. She ran a hand over the bottle of cologne she had bought him the year before for Christmas, John Varvatos’ Rock, and picked it up. She sprayed a little as she walked through the apartment and finally felt her heart calm down when his scent permeated throughout again.

She walked back into his bedroom and placed the cologne back on the counter and smiled as she caught the picture of them in the frame by her own bottle of perfume he had bought for her for her twentieth birthday –and insisted she wore only for him.

Jungmo oppa… I miss you so much…

She sighed and tried to shake off the melancholy feeling of being so far from the one she loved. She went back into the living room to retrieve her bag and decided that before doing anything else, a shower was needed.

After her shower –and all the giggling she had done as she decided to use his toiletries since it made her feel that much closer to him—she returned to the bedroom to lay down on his bed. She sighed that the Queen sized bed seemed so much bigger without him there and pulled his pillow to cover her face with. Damn it, Amber… one more year… you’ll be fine.

She growled and sat up. She ran her hands through her hair and tugged to get rid of her emotions and to remember to stop being so foolish… it wasn’t like he had wanted to go away and leave her. She stood and pulled the covers up to jump into bed and pull them over her head. She pulled his pillow into her arms and hugged it tightly, as she squeezed her eyes shut in hopes to not cry again… as she had done too many times in the past year.

><

Amber rolled over and kicked at the covers… she always felt too hot after cocooning herself in the covers. She opened her eyes and saw the tiled ceiling and had to blink her eyes to remember that she wasn’t at the dorms but at her boyfriend’s. She smiled and turned towards his side of the bed to reach out when she remembered that he wouldn’t be there and pouted. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and remembered what her mother had said about giving herself time to mope. One… two… three… four… five… six… seven… eight… nine… ten.

She slowly opened her eyes, released the breath and forced a smile. She laughed at the visual of her forcing a smile when her stomach growled, making her frown. Time to wake up, pabo… She stood and made his bed. She smiled at the memory of arguing with her boyfriend about the need to make the bed when he argued that it would just get messed up again. They had debated for over fifteen minutes before he threw up his hands in defeat... that was before grabbing her and throwing her on the bed to cuddle with again.

She slowly exhaled as the memory just made her miss him more. She finished making the bed, straightened and shook her head… stop it pabo… just stop. Go eat… and quit moping.

She walked into the kitchen but then remembered that the possibility of there not being any food since no one had bought groceries for the apartment in months made her groan. Maybe there’s some ramen hidden somewhere? She walked towards the kitchen when the intercom buzzed.

Huh? Who could that be?

She turned and slowly walked to the intercom, not wanting to be caught by anyone who shouldn’t be there. She was pleasantly surprised to see a handsome man standing there, with his signature smirk. Without even responding to the insistent buzzing, she pushed the button and let him come up. It wasn’t long after when he pushed in the buttons at the door and walked in to the apartment.

“Ya! You couldn’t even open the door for me and made me do it on my own?”

Amber laughed and scrunched her nose up at the taller male. “Heechul oppa… whether or not you knew I was here, you could have just come up on your own. It’s not like you don’t know all the codes for oppa’s place.”

Heechul scoffed and set the paper bag on to the kitchen counter. “I didn’t want to walk in on you if you were running around the apartment or something,” he said and laughed as Amber narrowed her eyes at him.

“That was one time, oppa! God… let him forget that already,” she said looking up at the ceiling, remembering that one time with half-horror and half-embarrassment at being caught while chasing her boyfriend for having stolen her clothes from the bathroom while she had showered.

Heechul pretended to rub his eyes. “God, let me forget it already,” he said and loudly laughed again as she punched him.

“Anyways oppa… what are you doing here?” Amber asked as she jumped to sit on the counter, swinging her legs back and forth glad at the unexpected company.

“Sulli called me this morning and said that you were over here… and asked that before I went to my recording to stop by with food,” he said and pointed at the bag he had brought in. “You better love me, dongsaeng.”

“Oh! Food! Yes, oppa… I love you,” she said and hopped down to reach for the bag.

Heechul crossed his arms and shook his head. “It was rhetorical, Amber… Jungmo would be sad to hear that you’ve chosen me over him.”

Amber looked up from inside the bag and glared at him. “Whatever oppa… Jungmo oppa knows I love him more. I only love you for food… and laughs.”

Heechul pretended to gasp. “And here I thought it was for my perfect face,” he said and raised both hands under his chin, batting his eyes at her. “Or my undeniable charms.”

She giggled and shook her head. “Oppa… I love you for the fun times and food you buy me… and maybe your perfect face. But I love Jungmo oppa for his undeniably cute clumsiness… his handsome face… his amazing body and the way he makes my toes curl when he kisses me,” she answered with a straight face.

“Oh… my dongsaeng!” he shouted and ran to hug her. “You’ve been officially corrupted after all these years of hanging out around me!” He winked and laughed along with her giggles.

“Yea… I’ve walked over to the dark side,” she said and rolled her eyes, though with a huge grin.

“It’s more fun on the dark side anyways, right?” he asked with a raised eyebrow. She simply nodded. “Anyways, Amber… I wish I could stay but I need to head over to the station.”

“Sure oppa,” she said, barely paying attention as she grabbed the package of kimbap from the bag.

“Hey Amber?”

She looked up from tearing the plastic off of the kimbap. “Yes, oppa?”

“Jungmo had given me something to give you,” he said and held out a small package.

She put the kimbap down and accepted the box. “Is… is it something bad?” she asked, suddenly afraid from the tone of voice Heechul was using.

He smiled and shook his head. “No… it’s just I’ve had it for about a month or so; I've been hiding it in my glove compartment." He shrugged. "I was under direct orders to only give it to you at the apartment when you had one of your Lazy Sundays.”

She tilted her head and opened the box to see a folded piece of paper and a CD. She smiled and picked up the CD. “Did oppa send me a CD to listen to?”

“I don’t know,” Heechul said and shrugged. “Maybe, since that’s what you do on your Lazy Sundays. Anyways… I’m off. I’m sorry that I only brought you stuff from the convenience store; I didn’t know about you here until I was already on the road.”

“It’s ok oppa; I appreciate you stopping by with just anything,” she answered, refraining herself from pushing him out the door so she could put the CD on.

><

As soon as the door closed she picked up the box, and the plastic bag --filled with mostly junk food—and skipped to the living room. She picked up the piece of paper and opened it.

Baby… I miss you and love you. Just a little over a year left and I can hold you in my arms again. I’m always thinking of you; don’t ever forget that. I’ll call you as soon as I can… Love you baby.

                                                                                                                -J

P.S. I’m asking Heechul hyung to give you the CD when you have one of those Lazy Sundays at my place… because this CD is meant for you and you alone to hear. I love you mostest.

Amber wiped away a tear at the sight of his handwriting and words remembering how they'd always fight over who loved whom more. I miss you too oppa… and no… I love you the mostest. She took the CD and brought it to the CD player and put it in before walking back to the sofa. She sat down and waited for the music to start but even after popping a piece kimbap in , it remained silent. So just as she stood up to check on it, there were sounds of beeping. She tilted her head, shrugged and sat back down. She picked up the package of kimbap again and decided to just be a little more patient. However, she sat up when instead of music, the sound of her boyfriend’s voice could be heard.

Hi baby… I got your letter and picture today. You girls looked amazing at South by Southwest, but of course you were the most beautiful. You’re just so cute, do you know that? *laughs* I wanted you to know that I always appreciate that you try to reassure me that all those guys you hang out with are nothing but friends… but I have to tell you… I still don’t like you being friends with so many men. I know… you’re probably laughing your head off and will keep being friends with all those men but at least you know my stance on it.

Amber shook her head at the silliness that was her boyfriend but couldn’t help grinning from ear to ear. That had been a neverending "arguement" they'd have throughout the over years of being together.

I know you miss me baby… and I miss you too… so much.

She furrowed her brows when it went silent.

*clears throat* I’m here… in case you wondered why it got silent. *nervous chuckles* You know how I am baby… I don’t know how to express myself that well and… you know I’m not much of a singer. But… but I’ve been working on a song. A song that hopefully expresses how much I miss you and love you. Yea... I’m being the biggest dork and going to record it for you to listen to. *clears throat* I’m a little nervous, and… and I don’t want you to laugh… but this song is for you, k baby?

(A/N The original song (Nco Kuv Me Me by Luj Yaj) is actually sung in my native language, Hmong. These translations are semi-literal –which means excuse the grammar, but I tried altering the more confusing translations so it could be easer to understand- but hopefully you get the gist of the song. This is a cover and how I imagined Jungmo would have sung it to her.)

“Miss Me a Little”

Miss me too, don’t be so cold.

Late at night I still miss you, do you believe?

Missing only you, missing only you.

I want to tell you this…

Though these words come from far,

Your love will always be near.

Miss me a little,

Don’t be so cold.

When you’re asleep, please miss me for a while.

Remember to treasure that I still love one so far…

Remembering the name that is inside my heart

Night time… the full moon…

The stars shining brightly.

Please look up to the moon.

Every night we will meet...

The moon can be our meeting place.

Want it to be a full moon every night.

Night time… the full moon…

The stars shining brightly.

Please look up to the moon.

Every night we will meet...

The moon can be our meeting place.

Want it to be a full moon every night.

I miss you every day and night…

Can you hear it?

And do you miss me too?

Whenever you hear…

Whenever you miss me,

Please look up to the sky,

And I will still love you forever more.

So… *clears throat* even though my singing … I hope my feelings of missing you and loving you came through with those words baby… because I do constantly think of you and miss you and love you. And I’d like to imagine that now… that every time I look up at the moon, wherever you are? We’ll at least be able to meet one another there. *sighs* Anyways baby, I love you… and... no more crying. Heechul hyung said that Victoria’s been saying you’ve been crying yourself to sleep. It hurts me to know that you’ve been crying… especially without me there to wipe away your tears or to hold you. You know if I could be there, I would… Just… Just remember I love you, k? But it’s ok to not always act strong baby… it's ok to not always have to smile at everyone… but please don’t cry anymore. It hurts me to think of you crying… *sighs* I will be there to annoy you again soon enough, and when we think back to these two years we spent apart? They’ll seem like nothing, ok? All right, I should get back to the barracks…but I love you baby… and I’ll be thinking of you.

Amber swiped at her tears and tried to smile, knowing her boyfriend was right though. As hard as it had been, one year had already passed and soon enough this coming year would go by as quickly too. She exhaled and finally smiled sincerely, slightly giggly at the question of if it was too soon to start counting down the days.

She reached over for the remote and clicked play again before laying down on her tummy and reaching for another piece of kimbap.

I love you oppa… and miss you so much…

After the third time listening to her new favorite song, she sat up and suddenly smiled… thinking of returning the gift of a song with a song…

(A/N Ha… the ending… I couldn’t help it; it just came to me. Anyways… story complete. Kinda sad but not really. I have a major crush on Jungmo (from TRAX – the rock band signed with SM, if you’re unfamiliar with them) and one day when I was wanting to listen to Miss Me a Little the idea popped in my head. So ta da… a Jungmo x Amber ff. I imagine some people are gonna be like… eew, he’s so much older than her! But you know what? MY crackship… so whatevs. And plus, age is but a number… Parts of my mind think they would be perfect for one another… but that’s my crazy self talking. Anyways, I part ways with these two pictures… they're so cute! LOL)

* Oh! And... I messed around with the timing of everything, but whatevs to that too, hehe.