I wander the streets every night and day, searching around corners to find those who need to be struck with my arrow so they can be given love. So they will no longer be lonely.

But who will Give Me Love.

It didn't used to be this way. I did have hope at one point and I didn't always have these pure, white wings on my back. I didn't always have to give love with no hope of finding my own love.

I came home to quite house after school. Nothing unusual, they're hardly ever home anyways. It's better this way. Now there won't be any fighting, no dragging me into the middle, and I'll have peace and quiet. I walk up the dark wood staircase and head to my room. Once inside my room, I lock the door behind me and proceed to collapse face-down on top of my bed. I feel my soft, white, feather comforter beneath me, allowing me to relax. I flip onto my stomach and stare up at my ceiling. My ceiling is black with painted shiny stars on it and some glow-in-the-dark stars taped on it as well. I love to look at the stars, for some reason they always gave me hope whenever I look at them. I let out an audible sigh and sit straight up on my bed. I get up, slip out of uniform and into a comfortable pair of dark jeans and a black V-neck shirt. I walk over to my small cedar and sit down in black swivel chair in front of it, deciding that it's time to start my homework.

I walk down the streets again but this time in the day. It's a dark and muggy day that some may mistake it for evening time instead of the middle of the day. While walking it's almost as if people don't see or maybe they're just ignoring me. I walk into a small, seemingly empty cafe, and head to the counter. One of the very few people that recognize my existence is the owner of this cafe. He seems like a frail elderly man but he is, in fact, much healthier than many of the young people today. When I look in his eyes, I can tell he has seen nearly everything there is to be seen and has experienced more than anyone ever could. He greets me with a smile and I return it. "The usual, I'm guessing." He says. I chuckle a little and answer with a yes. He walks into the back and comes back a moment later with a steaming hot cup of his special tea. "I had a feeling that you would be coming in today so I had it already ready for you." I tell him thank you and go take a seat at one of the tables. The old man never charges me. I first met him when these wings started to grow.

 

I have been feeling weird for the past couple of days; I hope it’s just a cold or something. All of sudden surge of pain runs through my back. Then my starts burning and it feels as though something is trying to come out between my shoulder blades. I sit down my thin mattress on the floor and start panting and clawing away at the top half of my back. I rip my tank top in the back so I can touch more of my back. I start to feel something poking out of my back near my right shoulder blade. I quickly try to pull it out, gritting my teeth through the pain. Once it's pulled out I close my eyes and feel a little bit of relief in my back. I open my eyes to see what I pulled out. It was a bloody, white feather.

Before I could comprehend what was happening the small relief I had felt was gone and the pain had rely ten times worse. I double over in pain, tears are running down my face. I need help. As I try to stand up I fall over onto the floor. The searing pain is not letting up. I use the wall for support and I stagger my way out of my tiny house. I make my way down the street, falling over multiple times in pain and using walls of buildings for support, trying to get someone to notice me, to help me. I finally sink to my knees, lean forward and hug myself. The pain is unbearable and seems to be never ending.

"Help!! Help me please!!" I scream out. I feel someone grab me a lead me somewhere but I'm in too much agony to care.

Eventually I'm put in a chair and I feel cup put on my lips. I open my eyes a little and barely make out an old man through my tears. "Drink it, it will help ease the pain. I promise." He says in a kind voice. At this point I'm willing to do anything to feel better. I take the cup out of his hands and drink every last drop that was in the cup, then I hand it back to him.

Slowly the pain in my starts to dissipate and I carefully return to sitting straight up. I look at the old man and he hands me a tissue and I use it to wipe my face. "What's your name young man?" He asks. "Ren, my name's Ren." I say softly to him.

I turn my head to try and look at my back and I'm greeted with pure white feathers covered and dripping with blood. My blood. My goes to cover my mouth and my body starts to shake uncontrollably.

"Shh, calm down. It's ok. Let me get some towels and water and I'll clean you up." The old man says and hurries away to gather materials. How is this possible? I don't understand. Suddenly my head starts to hurt. I clutch my head tight as the pain increases. Then all I see is black.

 

I hold the hot cup with two hands and take a couple drinks of the steaming tea. I turn and look around the cafe and notice someone sitting in a corner booth. His hair is dirty blonde and is styled in a short mohawk. He's wear a hooded black jacket, dark jeans, and black high tops. He's staring down at his cup with a lost look on his face. He seems so lonely. Suddenly I feel a pain in my chest, right near my heart. I clutch my chest where my heart is. He shouldn't be lonely, he doesn't deserve it. How do I know he doesn't deserve to be lonely, it's not like I kno- "Ouch!" I say as a sharp pain rings through my head, cutting off my thoughts. I look at him again and the pain in my head and heart return. I drink more of the tea and the pain subsides slightly. Taking one last look at him, I finish the rest of the tea and leave the cafe. I decide to head back to my small shack of a house to get my arrows because I'm getting the sense that I need to do this damn "job" of mine today. I still remember the first day I made my arrow and shot it at someone.

 

It has been a few days since these damned wings came in. They still are very sore and very sensitive. Moving is nearly impossible because of the pain. I grab my cup of tea and take a drink of it. I'm grateful to that old man for sending me home with some and cleaned me up.

I look at my small desk where I whittled at. I go to sit in front of it and I stare at the two Manikins on the desk. I get this urge and I move the Manikins so it looks like they're hugging each other. I get a pain in my head and the image of an arrow flashes through my head. My hands start moving on their own. 

They take pieces of the light wood and begin carving arrows out of it. Then they start carving a bow. By the time I have control of my hands again, there are many intricate arrows sitting in front of me and a full functioning bow. Something starts pulling up to the square opening in the attic.

With an arrow and bow in hand, I sit next to the opening and look outside. I see two girls walking arm-in-arm, both are bleach blonde and are beautiful. One is wearing a white fur coat and the other is matching her only her coat is brown. An unknown instinct begins to drive me.

I ready my bow and fire the arrow at the one in white. As the arrow hits her, it disappears into smoke. They stop walking.

The girl in white turns and starts walking towards the girl in brown until she is pressed against a pole. Then she kisses her. It's as if I can see the love radiating off them. They make out for short while then they pull away, hug, and continue walking but this time hand in hand.

 

I collapse on top of my thin mattress on my floor after a long night of giving people love. I let out a deep sigh and turn to look out my small window. The sky is still dark and very clear, it lets me see the stars shine brightly. Stars. The things that used to give me hope. Now, not even stars can help me. I'm drowning in my own loneliness and there seems to way out of my suffocation. All I ever wanted was to be loved, to feel loved. Was that wrong of me? Was I selfish for wanting that? Is this my punishment, to give everyone else love but I can receive none?

 

I finish my homework fairly quickly and begin drawing in my sketch book. All I've seem to be able to draw lately are extremely detailed wings. They aren't ordinary wings though. For some reason whenever I draw them I feel like they people on someone or rather an angel of sorts. I look at my two Manikins on my desk and begin to copy their images onto the paper. Then I begin to add wings to both of their backs.

As I'm detailing the wings, I hear a loud slam and then shouting. I try to ignore it because I don't want to get involved in my parents fighting again. I learned my lesson last time. An involuntary shiver runs down my spine. I continue detailing the wings but then I hear a deafening shriek. Now I'm scared.

Gathering up all my strength I go downstairs to see what's going on.  My mom is cowering against the wall and next to her I see a large wet spot on the wall and a large, broken beer bottle on the floor. I turn to look at my father, only to be even more ashamed of him than I ever had been. He looks ragged.

His clothes are on haphazardly, his stubble on his chin is clearly showing, the stench of hard liquor is extremely noticeable, and the large bottle of alcohol in his hand is not helping his image. I thought I was done putting up with his drunken . My dad starts to charge at my mother, the glass bottle raised in the. I rush in between them, taking the hit for my mom.

The bottle shatters against my head and I drop nearly head first on the floor but I put my hands out in time so I just land on my knees. I look at the floor to see the dripping blood coming from my head mixing with the alcohol. Just as I'm turning my head to look up at him, he kicks me in the ribs.

He keeps on kicking me and kicking me and sputtering out drunken nonsense words. I look at my mom the best I can and I see that she not moving, not doing anything to stop this, her eyes are just soulless. My blood and the alcohol continue to mix.

I finally have had enough. I use all of my strength to grab his leg and bring him down. His head hits the floor hard. He's now out cold. I slowly make it to a standing position. Once I'm up I turn and stare hard at my mother. "I'm done. You can deal with this on your own." I tell her in a menacing tone. Her eyes go wide and it seems like she's about to speak but I don't give her the chance to. I turn my back to her and make my way up to my room as fast as I can, not caring about the pain I'm in from my injuries.

Once I'm in my room I grab the duffle out of my closet and set it on my bed, stuff all my necessities in it, plenty of clothes, and some pairs of shoes. I then go to my desk and grab all of my art stuff and my two Manikins and place them in my duffle. Lastly, I clip my set of keys to it. Zipping the duffle up, I walk downstairs taking one last hard look at my mother, who is kneeling on the floor near my dad cleaning up the mess, before walking out the door, slamming it behind me.

As I'm walking down the street, a wave of dizziness hits. I stubble a little and put a hand to my head. When I bring my hand back down to eye level, I see that my hand is covered in blood. I feel woozy. I lean on a nearby pole for support.

"Ren! Ren! Rennie!!" I make out that someone is calling my name but I can't distinguish the voice. It sounds so familiar. I'm becoming more and more incoherent. I know I'm being pulled in somewhere but I can't make anything out. All I hear is a car engine and the sound of the voice getting louder and closer.

When I finally come to, I'm laying on a thin mattress in a shack like house. My wounds are bandaged but sore. I look to my left and see my duffle with a note and two bags on top of it. I sit up as best as I can, reach over, and grab the note then I begin to read it.

> Hey kid,

I got you all cleaned up and bandaged your wounds. You might want to take it easy for the next few days, you lost quite bit of blood. There's medicine, food, water, and extra bandages in the bags. Fill free to live in this shack as long as you like. Every day in the evening time, I'll stop by in front of the house to see if you want me to take you anywhere. Look for a short black van. Oh, by the way you can just call me Uncle. Get better soon kid.

- Uncle <

I put the note back where it was. Grabbing the white blanket on top of me, I carefully lay back down. This feels all too much like a dream. Maybe I just need some more sleep.

 

I walk either by or in the cafe every day and I always seem the same guy sitting there. He looks lonelier and lonelier each day that passes. He sits in the same spot with what seems always to be a cup of untouched coffee. Every time I look at him I get a pain in my heart. I have never wanted to find a person's love before until I saw him. Something deep inside of me was dying to help him. At the same time I get the pain in my heart, I feel like I know him, like he's someone very important to me but when I try to remember him a sharp pain runs through my head.

 

But if I can't even help myself, how will I help him?

 

I need a change of pace. I grab a few arrows and head to a small club. I get in the club easily as no one seems to notice me. Everyone in the club is moving to the beat, there isn't a single person that's not dancing. I weave my way through crowd with ease. The music taking control. My instincts start to kick in and I start hitting people with my arrow. I'm lucky my instincts kicked in so fast, I will never again make the mistake of hitting someone with my arrow whose love is not near them. My arrow only turns into a puff of smoke when it hits someone if there love is near them, otherwise it would act like a real arrow that can kill unless there comes near them within 24 hours, then the arrow will turn back to smoke and the person will be fine.

The music picks up and becomes louder. The dancing is becoming more erratic and . My instincts take over fully. There are so many people I'm hitting with my arrow. So many more people who will now have love. The more I give love, the more I crave for someone to give me love. The club is becoming too much. I feel tears run down my face. I run out of the club as fast as I can and back to my little shack house.

Once inside, I sit on my mattress and try to stop the tears running down my face. I look down at my lap to see that I still have an arrow in my pocket. I take it out and hold it with both hands in front of me. This could be my chance. My chance to be free. I take the arrow in my left hand and bring it up to my neck. I let a single tear run down my face. The last tear I will ever shed. I let a scream as I stab myself with my arrow on the left side of my neck. I fall down on my left side and let the blackness takeover.

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I'm sitting in my police car pulled over off to the side of the road, staring at the picture again. The picture of Ren and I from his sophomore year of college. I had just finished at the academy when he went missing. Him going missing fueled my drive to make detective so I would have a better chance at finding him. Now a year later, I was the youngest person ever to make detective at the precinct. I swear I feel him everywhere I go. Especially at the cafe.

I became lost in my own thoughts staring at the picture. Suddenly a knock at my window broke me out of it. I roll down my window to see and the elderly man with lively eyes from the cafe staring at me. He hands me a folded, slip of paper and says, "You need to go to the address listed on the paper and you need to go there before it's too late." "Before what is too late? Who are you?" "Look boy, you don't have time to be asking me question. Go there and you'll understand. I've done all I can for him but he needs you. Don't you dare ask me anything else and just go." He says and walks away quickly.

I open the slip of paper, read the address and make my way over there. I park my car in front of a very small, plain, white house. Taking one last look at the picture, I get out the car and walk to the house. I hesitate a second before turning the door knob and walking in. What I see brings me to tears.

I run to the mattress on the floor and see my Ren. My Rennie laying there with and arrow in his neck and blood on the mattress. Heavy tears try to fall from my eyes but I blink them back. The second I touch his face the arrow turns into smoke.

What the hell just happened?

Then his eyes start to flutter open. "Ren. My Rennie, I finally found you." I say to him. He looks up at me and smiles. I've missed that smile so much. However, his smile only last for a little bit as he begins to cry out in pain. He clutches his and keeps repeating "My wings. My wings!". That's when I notice his back. Attached to his back are beautiful angel wings. 

He grips my arm and tells me, "Make it stop! Please make it stop!", with tears running down his face. "Shhhh, it'll be ok. I promise." I pick him up bridal style and rush back to my car. As gently as I can, I place him the back seat before hopping in the driver’s side. I drive to the old man's cafe, as it seems he's the only one who knows what's going on around here.

Once there, I park, get Ren out of the back seats, he's still whimpering in pain, and race to the door. The old man is already there waiting with the door open.  "Bring him to the back." is all I hear him say and I race back there and set him on a couch I see. I kneel by his side and take his hand in mine. He squeezes it hard. Through his tear filled eyes, he looks at me. With a very small smile on his face he says, "You......don't look.......so......lonely.....any-.....more. Argh!" He clutches my hand tighter. I can tell the pain is getting to him.

Lonely? When did he see me look lonely?

"Alright, move over a little bit so I can get a good look at him." I hear the old man say. I move over slightly, Ren's grip on my hand not loosening any.  The old man forces Ren to drink something, take some pills, then more of that drink. Ren slowly stops trembling and falls asleep. I turn to look at the old man but before I can say anything he speaks.

"I gave him some stuff to help keep him calm and relieve some of the pain. It put him right to sleep. Alright, now let's take a look at his back." I help him roll Ren more onto his stomach. I feel him wince. I pet his head soothingly and kiss his forehead. "Just as I thought,” I give my attention back to the old man, "His wings are going to come off. A majority of his feathers already have." I look down at his deteriorating wings. The beautiful white wings are now slowly falling apart and turning to dust. "This is going to be a long painful process for him." I nod, "How did this happen in the first place?" The old man sits on the floor and starts explaining. If I hadn't seen Ren today, I would have never believed what he told me.

~

"If Ren was here whenever I was here, why did he never say anything to me?" I try to keep my voice as calm as possible due to the sleeping boy next to me. The old man looks at me with sad eyes and says, “When his wings first came in, the pain was so immense that it took its toll on him mentally and he got memory loss. So some things he forgot. He always told me that it felt like he was missing or forgetting something important. Like when he tried to remember certain things there would be a blank there as if there was something that was supposed to be there. Not only that but no one ever noticed him when his wings came in, it was if he was invisible to almost everyone."

That must've been horrible for him.

The old man let out a sigh and then continued, "It's a good thing you were easy to find though. I knew you were the one he forgot and needed so badly because whenever he looked at you he would clutch his chest in pain, right where his heart is. I'm glad I found you when I did, the loneliness in his heart finally became too much for him, if he did have you with him he could have died." I look at my sleeping Rennie. He had to go through all of that alone and that loneliness started to slowly eat him alive. I will make sure he never has to go through that again.

I place a tender, lingering kiss on his forehead and pet his hair. "When he wakes up he should remember everything but be prepared, his head will hurt to high heaven because of all the things that will be running through his head. Also his back will be sore for weeks and will have scars from where his wings were. Give him some tea if he complains about the pain it will help. Then get his stuff from his shack and take him home with you. Don't let him leave your side. I'll be here if you guys ever need me." He says. Then he gets from the floor then walks out of the room.

I look at Ren's back to see that the angel-like wings are completely gone, only dust remains. I rub small circles on his cheek. Suddenly, his eyes start to blink open.

When his eyes fully open he looks at me and smiles softly only for a brief second though because he suddenly sits up with his eyes wide with confusion. Then he groans. "Ugh. Why does my back and my head hurt so much?" He groans. I can't take it anymore.

I jump up off the ground and hug him as tight as I can. I can't stop the tears and he groans again, I realize I'm hugging him too tight. I let my grip loosen and move my hands to his face. I press my forehead against his. "I'm so happy I found you Rennie. You're never leaving me again." I say against his lips before leaning in a capturing his lips. I pour every feeling I've ever had this past year into this kiss. I feel his arms slipping around my neck pulling us closer together.

We finally both pull away as we both start to need air. We stare into eachother's eyes in silence until Ren breaks it. "B-Baekho? Is that really you Baekho?" Tears start running down his face as he hugs me around my neck tight. "I-I missed-d you s-so much." He says through his muffled sobbing voice into my shoulder. "I missed you too Rennie." "I d-don't want to be a-alone anymore. I need you Baekho." I move my head so that our noses are touching.

"You never will be again Ren, I promise you. I'll give all my love to you until I have nothing left to give and then some." "I love you too Baekho." He says to me, looking deep into my eyes. Then our lips meet passionately again. Our tongues then begin to dance with one another. His lips allowing me to taste all of him.

I can't lose him again and I won't. He will forever stay by my side and vice versa. We will never have to be without each other ever again and we can give each other all the love we could ever need.

 

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A/N: Feel free to comment, ask questions, or whatever else you have to say :) I lobe you dongsaeng and I hope you enjoyed reading this fic.  Meielric http://www.asianfanfics.com/profile/view/179897 is the one person that must comment. Everyone else can comment if they want but I will not force them too <3 <3 <3 <3 ^u^      byebye~ till next time <3