My name is Jongin.

Kim Jongin.

November 28^th, 2013

“What is your name?”

“Jongin. Kim Jongin.”

He asks, again. “What is your name?”

“Kim Jongin,” he answers, yet there’s an edge to his tone. His two sweaty palms clasp together as he shifts uncomfortably in his seat, eyes wandering around the sickening white room warily.

Apparently, this answer still does not satisfy the older man. He adjusts the black-rimmed spectacles on the bridge of his nose, fingers typing away furiously on the small keyboard in front of him.

“What is your name?”

He does the unthinkable. He lurches forward in his seat and lunge straight for the psychiatrist. But when he tries to stretch out his arms, he realises he had been strapped down to the metal chair with steel locks he hadn’t noticed before.

The clothes on him – they aren’t his either.

Where is he? What is this place?

“What is your name?”

Something inside him shuts off. The clock stops ticking. The room stops spinning. The voices stop taunting. He closes his eyes, breathing out heavily. When he opens them again, his gaze has changed.

His lips curve into a small, mocking smirk.

“It’s Kai.”

March 2012

Hyeri – Lee Hyeri, that was her name. She was the girl who lived a few blocks down the street. She was the one who walked passed his house every evening after school; with her gaze fixed on the ground and earpiece stuffed inside both of her ears.

She was the one who didn’t even look up when her name was being called by a group of boys playing basketball. He, was one of the boys playing basketball.

Even though they were in the same class, Jongin had never once heard her utter a word to anyone else. Quiet was an understament. She mostly kept to herself and that earned her the title of a loser.

But Jongin liked her though – he liked her enough to follow her home one day, trying to keep a safe distance as he tailed her from behind (approximately 10 feet away)

They were halfway down the street, and he was racking his brain trying to come up with a right approach that didn’t seem too cold or arrogant, yet still cool enough for her to be impressed – when she suddenly stopped and whirled around so fast, before he even had any chance to react.

Jongin screeched to a halt.

“Are you following me?” she hissed accusingly – and that was the first time he had ever heard her voice. It sounded odd; not necessarily funny, just that he didn’t think someone like her would possess a voice that matured.

And annoyed.

“I- I wasn’t,” he stammered, and decided that definitely does not make him cool. Rubbing the nape of his neck sheepishly, he pointed at all sorts of directions awkwardly, at the same time trying to avoid her eyes which were pretty much judging him. “I-I have a cousin living in this area. And I’m k-kinda...you know...still trying to – “

She didn’t wait for him to finish. Without saying another word, she plugged the earpiece back in and continued walking down the street – leaving him behind flabbergasted.

Not knowing what else to do, he cupped his mouth and shouted out at her, “I’m Jongin, by the way! Kim Jongin, your classmate!”

She left, without much of a goodbye wave or a turn of her head.

[+]

It started a day after his 8^th birthday.

The things he touched would disappear. People around him were bound to get hurt. The relapses happened more than they should. The blackouts worsened day by day.

Things happened whenever he’s around – unexplainable things. Accidents, which may or may not have been caused by him – accidents he has no memory of.

---

There was this one noona, he really, really liked. She lived next door; and every other day, she would bake for him cookies and ring his doorbell at around 5 or 6 in the evening, give or take.

She would greet him with a smile on her face (she has the brightest, most beautiful smile he has ever seen – in which her sad eyes would sparkle and shine profoundly) and hand over a box of freshly made goodies to him.

Jin-noona, or sometimes Jinnie-noona, that was what he called her. He was pretty sure her actual name was Sujin or Sejin or Sojin, something along the lines but he never really cared. As long as she answered when he said, “Jin noona” that was all that mattered.

Jin-noona would listen to his endless chatters; how his toy army are going to invade the space, how he arranges the books according to thickness on his shelf, how he always make a wish every night even when the sky is the darkest of black, how he dreams of becoming a ballerino someday – and she would listen to every word patiently with an amused smile on her tired face.

Jongin really, really liked her.

He had even said he wanted to marry her when he has grown up. Jin-noona laughed heartily at his childish wish, eyes crinkling at sides as she bent down to pinch him on the cheek.

“You’re really cute, Jongin-ah.”

But then, like the others, she too disappeared from his life.

Jongin came home one day (running), excited to show her his report card. Jin-noona had promised that if he got straight As’ for his exams, she would bring him out to the amusement park and give him an ice-cream treat – only to find out she had moved out (or went away like what he heard later) but it didn’t matter because ultimately, she was gone.

His ray of light was gone, leaving him alone in sheer darkness.

April 2012

Jongin had a reputation in high school; nothing bad, mostly good. Boys wanted to be buddies and girls wished to date him. He was tall, good in sports, charming good-looks, and he was really friendly. But, he didn’t have much luck in the studies department.

The same couldn’t be said about Hyeri. She wasn’t only an introvert; she was also pretty cold and distant, sceptical about making friends and she mostly hung out by herself during lunch period. When she wasn’t sitting on the bleachers during physical ed, she would stand at the back and wait for no one to pass the ball.

During tests, she’d always be in the top position.

It happened on a Friday afternoon, right after classes were done for the day. Jongin was hanging out with his usual group of friends, discussing what movie they should watch later at night. He couldn’t care less, he’d usually just go with the plan.

He saw her then – Hyeri, with books hugged close to her body, walking out of the school’s entrance in a hurry. Ever since that incident she caught him following her, Jongin had been awkward (and nervous) about wanting to talk to her again. He could only silently admire her from afar; stealing glances in class, the school’s cafeteria or whenever she passed by his house.

But today she seemed different. Worried, distressed - somewhat anxious like somebody was chasing after her. Jongin was about to call out her name, when something caught his eye from three levels above.

“Hyeri!” he rushed forward, swooped her in his arms and pulled both of them away, just as a plastic bag filled with water and eggs dropped to the ground with a loud thud. If he had been just a second late, she would’ve been drenched head to toe.

Jongin looked up and saw the backs of three girls fleeing away from the scene. He shifted back his attention towards the girl in his embrace, looking completely flustered and a little shaken.

Gently, he released her and asked, “Are you okay?”

She nodded numbly.

He felt worried. She didn’t appear fine.

“Thank you,” she muttered softly and started to walk away, keeping her head down to avoid the stares and whispers from the other nearby students.

Jongin didn’t waste anymore time. He ran back to grab his bag, mumbled a quick “See you later” to his friends, and hurried back to chase after Hyeri who seemed like she had increased her usual walking speed.

---

It was only fifteen minutes later, when they were already far away from the school, only the two of them alone walking down the pathway, did she talk to him. “You don’t have to send me home.”

Jongin, who was walking slightly behind to give her some space, simply smiled even though she wasn’t looking at him. “But I want to.”

Silence.

“You shouldn’t have done that.”

“Done what?”

Pause. “Help me.”

He frowned. “Why not?”

“They like you, but they hate the sight of me.”

“So?”

Her steps halted. His did too. She turned around. He stayed rooted on his spot. She spoke. He waited.

“Why do you even want to be friends with someone like me?”

“What do you mean someone like you?”

“A loser.” Soft, her voice was too soft. Too fragile.

“I don’t want to be friends with someone like you,” he finally answered. He saw a flash of hurt washed over her face momentarily, before it quickly disappeared and he continued, “I want to be friends with you.”

She was resisting the urge the smile, he could see it – those little corner of her lips twitching to curve up and it made his widen naturally.

He extended out his right hand. “Hello, I’m Kim Jongin. Nice to meet you.”

It took her three seconds (he counted) before she shook his hand lightly and shyly said, “I’m Lee Hyeri.”

: :

This is the story of a confused boy named Kim Jongin, who fell in love with the kind-hearted Lee Hyeri. The selfish boy who met the selfless girl. The lonely boy who only wanted to be loved and the caring girl who was just afraid of getting hurt.

Fairy-tales do not always have a happy ending. For Jongin and Hyeri, their story was far from a fairy-tale or even a happy ending.