Minseok yawned and rolled onto his back, feeling something fall down his wrist. He rubbed his eyes and went to sit up though he ended up seeing the blue bracelet as his hands froze in the air above his head. He sat up, bringing his right hand up to run over the blue leather, fingers grazing over the gold infinity symbol as he admired it. He didn’t remember buying anything the day before so he soon realised that the younger must have brought it for him. Was that why he was gone for so long? Minseok felt his heart clench, he had been cold and pushed the younger away, all because he thought the other didn’t care. Moreover, why had he brought him a bracelet? Alongside his curiosity to find out the reason behind it, he felt as though he had completely misconstrued what had happened. Wouldn’t logic dictate that if someone abandons you whilst you are out together then you are obviously a boring person who they don’t care about? Minseok could see the reasoning behind that but surely Jongdae didn’t think that he was boring and he had been there enough times for Minseok to let him know that he cared. What if it wasn’t Jongdae that had wandered off but it was he who had ditched the younger? The elder shook his head, he had been looking at clothes when Jongdae walked off, he hadn’t moved from his spot until he realised the other had gone. He decided that he had stormed off to his room hastily when he shouldn’t have done so, he felt childish. He continued to stare down at the bracelet, he had been unfair to the younger male, he had assumed things when he really shouldn’t have.

He climbed out of bed, hurrying downstairs and into the living room, spotting Jongdae asleep on the sofa. He wanted to apologise and thank him for the gift, he was tempted to wake the younger in order to do so when he spotted a small bag on the table and so stepped closer, reaching inside and pulling out a matching purple bracelet. He looked over at Jongdae, the bracelet still in his grasp. He swallowed around the forming lump in his throat. He knew what they were, there were only two possible options. Does he think of us as a couple? Minseok mentally shook himself at the thought, he dismissed it, deciding that they could simply be friendship bracelets. He subconsciously held his breath as the younger shuffled about on the sofa, right arm dangling off. He gave a small smile as he knelt down, wrapping the bracelet around the younger’s wrist and fastening it. He quickly got to his feet and walked off into the kitchen, oblivious to the sleepy eyes that lingered on where he had been knelt.

Jongdae sat up, rubbing his eyes as he did so before looking at the bracelet hanging on his wrist, he had watched Minseok put it on him and it made him feel relieved because maybe now the elder wouldn’t shut him out. He wandered to the kitchen, peering inside to see Minseok stood over the cooker. Jongdae snuck up behind the elder before wrapping his arms around him, silently hoping that he wouldn’t pull away. Instead, Minseok relaxed into the hug, giving the younger some time to commit the moment to memory before turning around. “Morning” Jongdae said quietly.

“Jongdae” Minseok whispered. “I- I’m sorry, thank you” He added as he wrapped his arms around the younger, letting his hands rest on the small of Jongdae’s back.

“I’m sorry for vanishing yesterday, I just wanted to think through some things” Jongdae apologised softly, showing a small smile.

“Its fine” Minseok replied. “There is one thing I want to know though”

“And what’s that?” Jongdae asked.

“Why did you buy me this?” Minseok questioned, bringing his wrist up to show the bracelet.

“Ah, I was hoping that I wouldn’t need to explain” Jongdae commented, his cheeks burning. “I thought that by giving you it, you’d see that my promise to never leave is true, I want you to know that I’m serious” He stated. Minseok found himself blinking back tears, he felt foolish for being in such a state, but this meant a lot to him. Jongdae was practically binding himself to the elder, giving the bracelet with such determination, it was a little sudden for Minseok, just last night he thought the younger didn’t care, even if he had been mistaken. “Thank you” He said weakly, leaning forward to tighten his hold on Jongdae. Neither of them spoke after that, letting the silence speak for itself. Though, when they could smell burning they jumped away from each other, Minseok turning around sharply to shove the pan off the hotplate. Jongdae chuckled behind his hand whilst Minseok stood gaping at the blackened food. “I could’ve burnt the house down! Don’t laugh!” He scolded, grabbing the pan and emptying its contents into the bin. “Sit down, I’ll just have to make something else” Minseok sighed, dropping the pan into the sink. Jongdae slid into a chair, patiently watching the elder as he moved around the kitchen. Soon enough, Minseok placed two bowls down on the table, sitting down afterwards. “What did you want to do today?” Jongdae asked.

“I should clean, I haven’t done it in a while” Minseok commented.

“It isn’t going to take us all day to clean” Jongdae stated.

“Well then we can clean and then decide something after” Minseok replied.

“That sounds fair” Jongdae commented. “Minnie, about yesterday…” Jongdae stopped himself.

“What about yesterday?” Minseok asked.

“Why did you run off when we got back here?” Jongdae questioned, he knew that it had something to do with him wandering off but he wanted to hear it from Minseok, thinking that there was more than simply that.

“You disappearing made me think that you didn’t care… and I was hurt” Minseok mumbled the last part.

“I didn’t intend to make you feel like that, I’m sorry” Jongdae apologised.

“It’s fine honestly, when I woke up this morning I knew I shouldn’t have gone straight upstairs when we got back, I should have listened to you.” Minseok looked down into his nearly empty bowl.

“It doesn’t matter now, I’m just happy I managed to give it to you” Jongdae replied with a slightly smile.

“What do you mean? Were you not going to?” Minseok questioned.

“No I mean, if I had done it when you were awake then I probably would’ve messed it up” Jongdae replied. Minseok chuckled. “I love it” The elder commented, looking down at the bracelet.

“I’m glad, I didn’t know what colours to get” Jongdae admitted. Silence overtook the room as they finished their breakfast. Once they had placed the bowls in the sink, both males went upstairs to get dressed. Minseok was the first to finish so he began cleaning, starting with the dusting. Deciding to waste time, he dusted anywhere he could reach, beginning downstairs and working his way up. Jongdae had stripped the bed of its linen, creating a pile in the middle of the floor in the hallway, he had left Minseok’s parents room, the door had been closed long since he arrived. When Minseok got to the top of the stairs, he too skipped his parent’s room, not letting himself think about why he wasn’t going inside. There were too many memories inside. Jongdae, unsure with what to do with himself, washed the dishes. Minseok appeared a little while after, depositing the duster into one of the cupboards. “Is there anything you want me to do?” Jongdae asked.

“I’m just going to clean the bathroom and then I’ll do in here” Minseok replied.

“So you want me to..?” Jongdae prompted.

“You can make my bed?” Minseok offered. Jongdae nodded, following the older male back upstairs. Minseok pointed out the linen cupboard before disappearing inside the bathroom. Jongdae tugged out matching sheets before taking them to the elder’s room, slowly beginning the task of making the bed. It didn’t take long, even though he was going so slowly. He sat down on the bed, playing with his fingers as he waited for the other to finish. He had wanted to give Minseok the bracelet and create a pleasant memory for them both but his disappearance the day before had ruined that. Though, as he had said at breakfast, he was just glad the elder liked the gift. He recalled the unshielded Minseok, the one from their outing, the one who had revealed everything in a blink of an eye without any words necessary. He knew that the elder was most vulnerable when he was like that, but in all honesty, he much preferred the small rare smiles, especially when compared with the fake smiles he showed. He wished that there was a way to heal the hole in Minseok’s heart, but he couldn’t bring the elder’s parents back nor could he fill the space himself. He would just have to rely on time, letting it heal overtime, though he vowed to help when he could. If only life could be simple and allow him just one wish, he would use it to make Minseok happy. He sighed, if only.

He was snapped out of his thoughts by the sounds of footsteps. Jongdae got up, walking to the doorway and peering through, seeing Minseok heading downstairs. Watching the elder, he felt compelled to ask him to go out with him again, he felt as though he needed another chance. Another chance for what though? He shook his head before following the elder. “So I was thinking” Jongdae began, stepping into the kitchen. “What if we went out?” He asked.

“Where?” Minseok asked back, preoccupied with cleaning the kitchen.

“I don’t know, what about the cinema?” Jongdae suggested.

“Don’t you have homework?” Minseok questioned, his movements around the kitchen stilling as he stared at the younger.

“No I-” Jongdae froze. “I have a test!” He exclaimed loudly, suddenly remembering. Minseok chuckled, resuming wiping the counter down.

“You should probably go study for that then” He replied.

“But… What about you?” Jongdae asked.

“I have homework too” Minseok commented. “Now go study!” He added. Jongdae grumbled under his breath but complied, going upstairs to the elder’s room and sitting at the desk, textbooks open in front of him.

Minseok continued scrubbing away at the counter, he had been wiping the same area for so long that the pattern would have come out if it was possible, he was lost in his thoughts once again. He glanced at the clock, he needed to make lunch but he decided to finish the cleaning first, trying to speed up so he would finish sooner. After finally finishing, over forty minutes later, he began making lunch, choosing a simple option that would take the least amount of time.

Jongdae jolted in surprise when the elder appeared by his side, settling a plate down on his scattered books. “Thought you might forget about lunch” Was all Minseok said before he went back downstairs, opting to eat his own quickly. Minseok returned to his room, deciding to sit on his bed, instead of his usual place of the kitchen table. He had begun doing his homework on his bed since Jongdae had arrived, in all honesty, a lot of things had changed when Jongdae came along. Minseok chuckled lightly when Jongdae began repeating things in a quiet voice, trying to force himself to remember them. The elder enjoyed moments like these, they may be small but they reminded him that he wasn’t alone.

When Minseok had completed all his work, he opted to take a shower so he quietly left his room, making sure not to disturb Jongdae who seemed to be growing more frustrated by the minute. In actuality, the younger had neglected to study anything since finding out about the test, and learning all the necessary material for the next day seemed impossible. When Minseok returned from his shower, he came back to Jongdae lying on his bed, head buried underneath the pillow. The elder let out a laugh before going closer and tugging at the pillow. “What’s the matter?” Minseok asked. Jongdae huffed and opened his eyes, looking up at the other. His voice became lost in his throat as he saw a practically Minseok in front of him, the only thing covering him was a towel hanging from his waist. He remembered that a similar event had occurred before, only this time his mind decided to toy with him, showing images of his hands wandering over the elder’s smooth skin, his lips grazing his collarbones. Jongdae’s breath hitched and he forced himself to look away, face flushing. Minseok watched the younger male in front of him as his eyes glossed over, he wondered what had made the younger this way, not knowing it was him. “Jongdae?” Minseok gently shook the other’s shoulder as he looked away.

“Y-Yes?” Jongdae stuttered, wondering why Minseok looking like that was effecting him so much.

“What are you doing? Aren’t you meant to be studying?” Minseok questioned.

“A-Ah, yes! I’m meant to be!” Jongdae said, cringing at the volume of his voice, he was beginning to lose the battle of keeping his eyes from raking over the other. “Sorry!” He squeaked, practically jumping off the bed and seating himself back on the desk chair, before he could look. Minseok’s eyebrows furrowed together, wondering why the other was being so odd. He shook his head, deciding it was most likely stress before beginning to get dressed. Once he was dressed he walked closer to Jongdae and peered over his shoulder, looking down at the textbooks. “Biology?” He scanned one of the paragraphs. Jongdae nodded. “What’s so bad about biology?” Minseok asked.

“The fact that I have a test about it tomorrow and I can’t remember a single thing!” Jongdae replied.

“Did you want some help?” Minseok offered.

“If I don’t know this already, how do you think I’ll learn it after one night?” Jongdae asked, frowning as he stared down at the book, cursing himself for not remembering about it sooner.

“Because I’m a pro” Minseok joked, giving the younger a wink which caused them both to begin laughing.

“Ok then ‘pro’, teach me” Jongdae replied.

“I will” Minseok nodded. “Right after food” He added. They walked out, heading for the kitchen. Minseok immediately began getting ingredients whilst Jongdae leant against the counter, watching the elder as he usually did now. “Can’t you just make something quick, I’ll take plain rice at a time like this” Jongdae hurried him.

“No! Just because you neglected to study sooner, which if you do again I’m going to hit you, doesn’t mean that you should also neglect a proper diet” Minseok stated, feeling as though he was scolding the younger. He glanced at the other male, noticing the small pout. Speaking truthfully, Minseok found it rather cute, especially how Jongdae thought he could get away with it if he gave a pout, which he nearly could. “You know, if you helped with the food then it would be done a lot quicker” Minseok commented. Jongdae sighed before busying himself with cutting up vegetables. When they eventually sat down to eat, Jongdae had already managed to convince himself that he was doomed to fail. “After this we’ll work through it, ok?” Minseok smiled, although it was small. Jongdae nodded. They both rushed to eat, trying to finish it quickly so they could study.

Managing to finish within fifteen minutes, they hurried upstairs, time waits for no one. Jongdae sat down on the chair, looking back at his book. Minseok took the book off the desk and went to sit on his bed, ignoring Jongdae’s indignant yell of ‘Hey!’ as he sat back against the headboard, noting that the younger was also watching his every move. “Come and sit down then” Minseok instructed. Jongdae slowly got off the chair and sat down by the foot of the bed. Minseok began testing the younger, discovering which parts he needed to work on most. After determining that, he ended up placing the book in between them, forcing them to move closer to each other. He tried helping by explaining each section, using his own examples and hand gestures to get his points across.

This continued on for quite some time, it was past ten o’clock and they were still going. “I’m tired, can’t we just give up?” Jongdae complained, emphasising his point by yawning, he was sprawled out on the bed, almost knocking the book off.

“No, do you want to fail tomorrow?” Minseok asked.

“No, fine” Jongdae mumbled. Minseok knew he had pretty much covered everything the younger needed, all that was left now was to test him again, which he did promptly.

Jongdae did well, he was able to answer nearly every question Minseok asked, he had surprised himself. Minseok, it seemed, had more faith in Jongdae than the younger himself did. “How did you do that?” Jongdae asked, shocked that he had actually managed to learn the necessary material.

“Like I said, I’m a pro” Minseok grinned. Jongdae smiled brightly back, glad that his stupidity could make the other smile. “Now we can sleep” The elder added, hopping off the bed and walking to the bathroom. Jongdae changed quickly before climbing under the covers, not bothering to brush his teeth or anything else he required, the only thought in his mind was concerning sleep. By the time Minseok came back, the younger had already fallen asleep, causing him to chuckle before flicking the lights off and slipping in beside the sleeping figure. He ended up having to push Jongdae further across the bed so that he wasn’t hanging off the side, he closed his eyes but not before he slung his arm around the younger’s waist.

-

“Wake up!” was what Jongdae woke up to the next morning, including a painful forehead. “Wake up!” Minseok yelled again, proceeding to flick the younger on the forehead for the third time.

“I’m up!” Jongdae replied as he sat up, making sure to move away from the elder. “You didn’t have to flick me” He grumbled as he got up.

“You have ten minutes before we have to leave, breakfast’s on the table” Minseok stated before walking out, chuckling when he heard the other curse under his breath before darting into the bathroom. A few minutes later, Minseok rolled his eyes as a dishevelled Jongdae came running downstairs and into the kitchen whilst he was waiting patiently by the front door. After a couple of minutes, Jongdae emerged, grabbing his bag before darting back upstairs. “Why didn’t you wake me up earlier?” Jongdae yelled from the other’s bedroom. Minseok waited until the other came back before replying.

“I did, you wouldn’t wake up” He commented.

“Why didn’t you flick me then?” Jongdae asked, slipping his shoes on before fumbling with his coat zipper.

“I did, you still wouldn’t respond so I gave up and got ready” Minseok replied. “Don’t forget your lunch” He added. Jongdae ran to the kitchen, snatching the lunchbox from the counter before following Minseok out. Minseok rubbed his hands together as they walked, he could feel the cold seeping into his coat. He glanced at Jongdae, wondering if he was the same. He sighed, watching the stream of mist that left his lips, it was that cold. “Are you cold?” Jongdae asked, noticing the elder rubbing his hands. Minseok gave a small nod, Jongdae chuckled in reply before reaching over and taking one of Minseok’s hands in his own, lacing their fingers together as they walked. Minseok watched the younger, his hand was warmer than his entire body. They walked in silence, neither wanting to break silence, even when they walked to Jongdae’s locker. The younger was rifling through it when he tugged his coat off and shoved it inside. Minseok let out a burst of laughter, seeing Jongdae’s pathetic excuse for a neat tie. “What’s so funny?” Jongdae asked, turning to stare at the other.

“Your tie looks terrible” Minseok commented, giving a light chuckle before reaching forward and fixing the younger’s tie. Jongdae looked across the corridor, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink. When Minseok was finished, Jongdae mumbled a thanks before burying his head in his locker, willing his blush to fade. He scolded himself for blushing, there was no reason for it. Was there? He shook his head, trying to clear his mind before shutting his locker and picking his bag up. “We should probably get to class” Jongdae commented before darting off down the corridor, leaving behind a confused Minseok.

-

Jongdae cursed himself mentally, knowing that his strange behaviour was noticed by the elder, he didn’t know what was wrong with him. “Hey” A deep voice greeted, joining the hurried male.

“What do you want Yifan?” Jongdae asked as he slowed down.

“Can I not talk to one of my friends?” Yifan asked back.

“You have an ulterior motive, I know it, what is it? Spill” Jongdae instructed. Yifan sighed.

“Listen, you know I care so that’s the only reason I’m asking this, I won’t tell the others” Yifan began. “What is going on between you and Minseok?” He asked.

“Nothing, we’re just friends” Jongdae replied, he swore that he could feel the bracelet around his wrist burning him.

“Really? You seem too close to be ‘just friends’” Yifan stated.

“I don’t know” Jongdae admitted quietly, he wasn’t one for talking about such matters so he began wondering why he was being truthful to Yifan.

“You don’t know or you don’t want to know?” Yifan commented.

“Don’t be so clichéd, you’re hurting my ears” Jongdae replied.

“You know I’m only trying to help” Yifan said quietly.

“I know, I’m grateful but I need to get to class” Jongdae faked a smile before walking away. Yifan sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “Did you not get the response you wanted?” Someone asked.

“Of course I didn’t, he’s a closed book” Yifan replied, watching the younger’s retreating figure.

“You know, if anything is happening, they won’t tell anyone, it’s just how they are”

“I know, but what if they’re about to hit the bottom?”

“They have each other, they’ll catch themselves”

-

Jongdae fell into his seat, his day hadn’t exactly been great. He had woken up late, made a fool of himself in front of Minseok and now probably given himself away to Yifan. His head fell forward onto the table. “What are you doing?” A voice inquired from next to him, making him jump.

“I could ask you the same thing!” Jongdae replied.

“I got moved… Apparently I don’t pay enough attention when I sit at the back so now I get to sit here!” Chanyeol grinned. Jongdae groaned, another person he had keep playing a part for. In most of his classes, he could just get through each lesson with a blank expression, devoid of any emotion, however with one of the others sat with him, he would have to show some form of positive emotion or else they would give him twenty questions, at least this is what he assumed. “Do you have the biology test next?” Chanyeol asked.

“Of course I do” Jongdae replied.

“Ah right, so can I sit next to you in that lesson too?” Chanyeol asked. Jongdae realised that he actually had most of his lessons with the taller male, even though they rarely sat next to each other, the teachers knew better than that. He cursed being the same class before looking at Chanyeol.

“Why?” His eyes narrowed slightly.

“Because I forgot to revise” Chanyeol admitted, giving a sheepish smile.

“No, it’s your own fault” Jongdae replied, turning back to the front.

“Aw come on! Don’t get me in trouble, if I fail this everyone’ll be disappointed in me” Chanyeol gave a slight pout.

“Not my problem” Jongdae muttered, retrieving his equipment from his bag.

“Please, I’ll do anything” Chanyeol was practically begging.

“How could you forget about the test?” Jongdae asked before remembering that he had forgotten, though he luckily had remembered in time to do something about it, he felt like a hypocrite.

“Well the thing is-” Chanyeol began.

“Actually no, I don’t want to know, it has something to do with Baekhyun so I know too much already” Jongdae interrupted him. Chanyeol grinned at him. Luckily, for Jongdae at least, the teacher began the class, silencing everyone.

It was about halfway through the lesson when Chanyeol elbowed him in the ribs. “What?” Jongdae whispered, rubbing his side briefly where Chanyeol’s elbow had landed.

“You never answered my question, can I?” Chanyeol asked back quietly.

“Don’t let me catch you” Jongdae replied, giving permission to an extent.

“Thank you!” Chanyeol said loudly before being hushed by the teacher.

Neither said a word until the end of the lesson. “Don’t tell Baek, ok?” Chanyeol instructed. Jongdae simply nodded before walking off.

-

The biology test wasn’t until the last lesson, allowing him lunchtime to think through the material which he did. When he was sat in the silent classroom, under exam conditions, his mind drifted from biology and to a certain male. This kept happening, he would begin answering a question and then end up thinking about Minseok, his pen halting on the page before he shook himself mentally and continued. He had glanced at Chanyeol a couple of times, the taller male had sat next to him and had been obvious in glancing at Jongdae’s paper. Jongdae was just thankful that this wasn’t a real test.

“Times up, put your pens down” The teacher announced. The sounds of a few groans and hurried scratching of pen on paper filled the air as Jongdae dropped his pen on his desk, closing the booklet and placing it on the corner of his desk. He heard Chanyeol curse under his breath, obviously having not finished. The teacher made their way around the room, collecting the booklets as they went. “Now, I’m not one for letting you go early but because you just finished the test and I can’t really start anything else with you yet, you can go” They declared. The students began packing their bags, Jongdae included, before they all began filing out of the classroom. “We’ve got half an hour to waste, what did you want to do?” Chanyeol asked as he followed Jongdae out.

“I plan on waiting at the gates for Minseok” Jongdae replied, heading for his locker.

“Ah, I remember that, going everywhere with Baekhyun” Chanyeol smiled.

“Are you implying something?” Jongdae asked.

“What? Of course not” Chanyeol replied.

“You’re so obvious” Jongdae commented, grabbing his coat from his locker and then proceeding to walk away from the taller male before pausing, turning on his heel. “And for your information, me and Minseok are nothing like you two” He added before walking off, leaving Chanyeol surprised.

-

When Jongdae reached the gates, he felt like hitting his head against a wall, how did he even know that Chanyeol was implying that? He exhaled shakily, wondering if Chanyeol would rush to tell the others before deciding that he was being foolish. Whilst waiting for Minseok, he slid his coat on before playing on his phone. When people began emerging, he looked around for the elder, smiling when he spotted him walking out alone. Until Luhan ran up behind him and hugged him from behind. He let out a small gasp, noting how Minseok seemed to light up. He frowned when he saw Minseok smiling widely, he knew it was fake but something wasn’t sitting right with him. He couldn’t describe it but he didn’t like it, not at all. Though he had no time to figure out what the feeling was because Minseok’s gaze landed on him. The elder said something before Luhan walked off, giving Minseok a wave. He walked over to Jongdae. “So how did the test go?” Minseok asked.

“Fine I think” Jongdae replied. “Though Chanyeol copied me” He blurted.

“He did? Why?” Minseok asked.

“He forgot” Jongdae stated.

“Oh well, at least you’ll do well” Minseok gave a brief smile. “Shall we go?” He asked.

“Go where?” Jongdae asked back, staring blankly at the other.

“To mine?” Minseok replied, eyebrows furrowing. “Where else would we go?”

“Nowhere, sorry, come on” Jongdae reached to take hold of Minseok’s hand, successfully threading their fingers before beginning to walk home. Jongdae couldn’t help but be confused, he couldn’t understand what he had felt. Jealously. His steps faltered and he soon stopped altogether. Had he been jealous of Luhan? He snapped out of his thoughts when he noticed a hand waving in front of his face so he turned to the owner of the hand. “Are you alright?” Minseok asked, letting his hand fall to his side.

“I’m fine” Jongdae replied, shaking his head to clear his mind.

“What is it?” Minseok asked.

“Nothing” Jongdae stated, going to walk again but he was pulled back by Minseok who tugged their entwined hands.

“Why are you lying to me?” Minseok questioned.

“I’m not, honestly” Jongdae replied, he didn’t want to tell Minseok anything, he couldn’t, the elder wouldn’t feel the same and the friendship they had would end and Jongdae would be lost without it. Whatever reply Minseok was going to give was cut off when Jongdae’s phone began ringing. Jongdae fished his phone out of his pocket and quickly answered it. “Hello?”

“Jongdae, why have you still not gone to see your mother?” His father asked, to the point as always.

“Sorry, I’ll go soon” Jongdae apologised.

“Go tonight, surely you can spend one evening with her” His father snapped before hanging up.

“Who was that?” Minseok asked.

“My father” Jongdae replied quietly, finally pulling his phone away from his ear. “He wants me to hurry up and go see my mother” He added.

“Oh, did you want to go tonight?” Minseok asked.

“I don’t think I really have a choice” Jongdae stated. Minseok nodded in understanding before walking again.

-

The pair had showered, changed and eaten dinner before making their way to the facility. For Minseok, it was strange seeing Jongdae look so pale and hesitant, he was used to the Jongdae who hid his emotions. He had a tight grip on the younger’s hand, trying to provide some comfort. They stood facing the building, Minseok not wanting to force Jongdae whilst the younger gathered the courage to step inside. “Let’s go” Jongdae instructed before stepping inside.

After being granted access and being shown to a room, they waited for a short while, Jongdae spent the time pacing whilst Minseok leant against the wall. The door was pushed open and his mother stepped inside. He looked at her, he could never be what she wanted. The perfect son. All he could be was himself and obviously that wasn’t enough. He stared forward, watching as she took a seat in front of him. “Hello” She greeted, her tone flat.

“Hi” He replied, staring down at his shoes, he always shrank under her gaze.

“What are you doing here?” She asked, sounding almost impatient.

“Father told me that you wanted me to visit” He replied.

“Did he? What a pleasant lie” She commented.

“So you didn’t want to see me?” He clarified.

“Of course not, why would I want to see you?” She asked. Minseok watched from his place, leaning against the wall, disbelieving that this was the same woman who had sat in front of him and spoke so kindly about his parents.

Jongdae continued to stare at his shoes, did she actually want an answer from him? Why does it always have to be him who endures this? He’s positive that his brother doesn’t even listen to her anymore as well as his father. “How are you?” He asked, trying to change the topic slightly.

“How do you think I am? I’m not dead yet” She replied. A quiet pained noise escaped his throat. Minseok’s eyes widened, he felt as though he shouldn’t be there, but at the same time he felt as though he should be standing next to Jongdae, giving him strength.

“Please don’t say that” Jongdae pleaded, knowing the same words were spoken not that long ago.

“I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again” She snapped.

“You’re still not taking your medication, are you?” He asked.

“No I’m not. I’ll be honest with you, I’d rather leave here medication free and miserable then happy because of pills” She replied. He still couldn’t look up from his shoes.

“The pills help with the chemical imbalance” He commented quietly.

“I don’t have a chemical imbalance, I have a husband who’s never around, a son whom I never see and another son who refuses to listen to me” She stated.

“Father’s around more than you think, we take care of you, so what if my brother’s never here? You have me and I’m listening to you, I’m trying to be perfect” He began twisting and playing with his fingers nervously.

“He’s always at work, do not stick up for him” She said, her voice held traces of irritation. “Trying isn’t good enough” She added.

“You can’t just expect me to be perfect immediately” He defended himself, something he didn’t usually do.

“I never expected that of you, you had long enough” She replied.

“This isn’t you, when you take your medication, that’s you” He stated.

“No it isn’t! Stop trying to live in a fairy-tale where everything’s happy and there’s nothing wrong with the world! Grow up already!” She snapped loudly, making him flinch.

“I know nothing’s happy, I leant that when I was younger and everything’s wrong with the world” He replied, voice strangely low.

“Good, at least you’ve learnt something useful” She commented.

“Do you want to know what else I’ve learnt?” He asked, finally looking up to meet her gaze. She nodded once. “I’ve learnt that the world is cold, it always will be and it’s only ever going to hurt you. But something else I’ve learnt is that even through the coldness, there is always someone there to warm you up” He stated, gaze flickering briefly to meet the third set of brown orbs, Minseok’s. “And people throw that away, they shun the only one who can warm them up so they spend the rest of their lives cold and defensive” He added.

“Don’t be ridiculous” She scolded.

“I’m not being ridiculous, you unconsciously pushed Father away, I’m not blaming you for it but I think that you both should at least talk” He replied.

“So you think that your father and I becoming a ‘happy couple’ once again will fix everything?” She asked.

“No I don’t” He stated. “But it’s a start” He added. He walked towards the door. “Now we’re leaving and I’m not coming back until you and father have sorted out whatever it is that’s keeping you both at arms-length of each other” He decided, taking Minseok’s hand before walking out.

-

Neither spoke the whole way back, the silence continuing as they prepared for bed. It was only until they were lying in bed, surrounded in darkness that the silence was broken. “I’m sorry” Minseok said quietly.

“What are you apologising for now?” Jongdae asked, rolling onto his side so he could wrap his arm around the elder.

“I’m sorry that you see the world as cold” Minseok replied, staring up at the ceiling.

“You don’t have to apologise, I understand why” Jongdae commented.

“You do?” Minseok turned his head to look at the younger.

“Yes, I grew up with shattered dreams, pointlessly wishing for things to get better so of course I’m going to see the world as cold, I mean, it’s never done anything to try and prove otherwise. Whereas with you, you were brought up in a loving environment, with dreams that your parents encouraged, it’s only normal for you to not view the world as cold” Jongdae explained.

“And look how that turned out, I lost my parents, my view of the world was rose-tinted” Minseok commented. “Honestly though, now that I have you, I think my world’s getting warm again”