Fly Away With Me.

I will make you happy

 

Kai hated life, and life hated him.

 

He was an 18 year old boy with horrible past and definitely with no ing hope for his future. His grades were falling and he was starting to get bullied at school. The friends he did have him to follow the crowd. At first people liked him, and the next day they didn't. One day Kai had enough and attacked one of his bulliers, only to get ganged up on and beat to the ground in front of the student body. The principal intervened, but it was even more humiliating having to be walked to the principal's office, bleeding and bruised. His parents were called. Useless.

 

He had an abusive, alcoholic father but a mother that was kind-hearted and forgiving, enough to put up with him for the past 18 years. Last month, however, was the final straw. Late one night, Kai was having insomnia as usual, lying in his bed, trying to forget about the world; but before he could lose himself in darkness, he heard a scream and a smash. His father had come home from his usual midnight drinking but this time he was really out of it. Probably high on some . Kai ran downstairs in fear of his mother getting hurt, but she wasn't - she was dead. His father looked as dazed as ever but still lost in some ing hallucination. His mother's lifeless body lay on the floor, a beer bottle smashed through her head, the glass shards of which pierced . Blood oozed over the floor like his very tears down his face.

 

Outraged, Kai attacked his father but somehow his father got the better of him.

 

After almost being beaten to death by his own father, Kai managed to escape. And he ran.

 

Running, tears streaming down his face, running, using every last ounce of energy he could squeeze out of his legs, running far, far away, in hopes one day he could find happiness, somewhere, somehow, despite pointlessly running into the dark horizon.

 

In your darkest hours

 

One year later. Kai is at a foster home, and did not graduate high school. His dad had gone to jail and his mother dead. He had no friends and no relatives he could depend on. He was alone. Alone in a pointless, gray world. 

 

Every once in a while he would turn on the television or open a magazine. But those images of people and places that seem so colourful and lively? A hoax. A lie. Deception. Because in life, there is no such thing as happiness - it is just a life that society tries to convince itself of to give people a purpose. But that purpose will never be fulfilled.

 

Kai had no purpose. He had no life. 

 

The nannies at the foster home were the only ones that took care of him. He shared the home with a number of other children, some younger and some older than him, but he refused to talk to them or acknowledge their existence. He was alone. Waking up, eating, sleeping; rinse, and repeat. The nannies encouraged him to get back into education or involve himself in some recreation but he never saw the point.

 

If he could rot away in the foster home without having achieved anything in life, he was fine with that.

 

Or maybe he could rot away instantly, without having to suffer the wait.

 

Do not be afraid

 

The San Francisco bridge would be beautiful if Kai did not have impaired vision - to him, everything was ugly, even in the sun in the sky and the clouds rolling past it, even the most beautiful woman with porcelain skin and a white wedding dress - everything was hideous. 

 

He liked the bridge. It was high up above the roaring water underneath, which made Kai feel like he was walking in the sky, above the cruel world below. Cars raced past behind him, negating any sounds of the world but that of mindless machinery. The bridge was made of cold, hard metal, as if all the flesh were ripped off of a giant beast and all that was left was a bony skeleton. Best of all, he was surrounded by a thick fog, as if he was in some kind of dream world or limbo, lost in his own path - perfect. It was the perfect place to be.

 

Kai started to visit the bridge ever since he joined the foster home about a year ago. It was a bit of a walk, but he didn't care. The nannies also protested against him leaving, but he snuck out anyways. They couldn't control him. Nobody could.

 

He liked to dangle his legs over the edge when he sat down on the bridge. It felt nice that he had the power to take his own life away just from one little push. For once he had a decision over his own life. It felt empowering.

 

One day when Kai was sitting on the edge and especially close to actually slipping off, a fog thicker than usual surrounded him. Parting the mist next to him appeared a boy around his age. He had fluffy brown hair, milky white skin, thin lips, and large bubbly eyes that anybody could get lost in. He was not too tall, but not too short. He looked gentle, but was still masculine. He was dressed in a simple outfit, in a hoodie, khakis and sneakers. He was half-smiling, but it was not a malicious smile - everything about his expression was benevolent and welcoming. 

 

Kai couldn't explain how he felt at that moment - he felt liberated, and this boy was actually not ugly. Impossible. He was... beautiful.

 

The world is ours

 

"W-who are you?" Kai stuttered, unfamiliar with his own voice due to a lack of communication with the human race.

 

"Luhan." Luhan's voice was beautiful. It was soft and warm, carressing Kai's senses. He felt elated just at the sound of his voice. The way he said his name was also wonderful, as if he was... singing a beautiful melody. Luhan. There was a lovely ring to the sound of his name that Kai could not explain. "What's your name?"

 

"I'm uh... I'm Kai." He shuffled in his feet a bit and slightly jumped from surpise when Luhan sat next to him, his legs now dangling next to his off the bridge, high above the watery depths below. "What are you doing here...?"

 

"I could ask you the same question, Kai." 

 

"Yes, but...."

 

"You're troubled, aren't you." Luhan interrupted him before he could even think of what to say next. Maybe he was getting frustrated at how awkward he was with making conversation. Or maybe he didn't care what he had to say.

 

"H-how'd you know?" Kai muttered under his breath.

 

"Well, you don't see people hanging out around the bridge everyday, especially not with half of their body hanging in the air - you know, people might think you would want to jump."

 

"What makes you think that?! I'm not trying to jump, I'm just sitting here!" Kai snapped in return.

 

Luhan chuckled. Oh, his chuckle. It seemed to erase all his pain away. If only. "Don't take it so seriously! Relax. I'm here with you too..." Luhan smiled his beautiful smile, and looked straight into Kai's eyes, as if he saw right into his very soul. Unfortunately, Kai couldn't say the same for Luhan - Luhan's eyes seemed like an endless abyss of darkness. It wasn't an evil darkness however, but rather, a calming darkness. Peace. "Here, I picked these up on my way here before I found you." Luhan dug in his back pocket, his tongue slightly sticking out of his mouth and his right eye slightly winced. Out from behind he pulled out two white feathers. He cleared his throat. "These are dove feathers. For some reason I picked up two, but now I know why that was! It was probably because destiny wanted me to give you one when we met. Here, take it."

 

The kind boy opened out his hand for Kai. In his hands were two perfectly shaped feathers, that seemed almost identical. They were pure white, like fresh snow out of the winter sky.

 

Kai flinched at the feel of contact with Luhan's hand. He wasn't sure which was softer - the white dove feather, or Luhan's skin. 

 

It was strange. Once Kai had the feather in his hand, he felt uplifted. He felt like the world had been carried off his shoulders, like that feather somehow allowed him to float high above the earth, high above the atmosphere, high above, above and beyond the universe into oblivion. He felt like he could fly. He felt like he was flying with Luhan.

 

"Now we both have one," Luhan grinned, "and we can fly together."

 

Without immediately noticing, Kai found himself smiling. An ability he thought he had lost a long time ago.

 

When you feel lost

 

Everyday, Kai would sneak out of the foster home at the same time as the day he met Luhan, and everyday, he could meet Luhan once again in the middle of the bridge, fog thick as ever, cars loud as ever, and the water far below as ever. And every time, their encounter felt as magical as the first.

 

Every time they met, they would talk about something new. Kai would find out something new about Luhan, and Luhan would find out something new about Kai. They would smile, and laugh, and just simply enjoy each other's company.

 

Luhan would first appear out of the mist like he did the first time, and he would sit himself next to Kai and their feet would dangle over the edge once again, side by side.

 

They became friends.

 

True, genuine friends.

 

When he was with Luhan, Kai forgot everything about himself. He forgot where he came from, who his parents were, what happened before at school, where he lived now, how he had nothing - he forgot who he was. Day by day, he remembered who he was less and less, and started learning more about who Luhan was. In a sense, he was becoming Luhan. 

 

Kai woke up everyday excited to meet Luhan.

 

He went to bed at night thinking about the wonderful day they shared.

 

And the cycle continued on and on.

 

Lose yourself in my arms

 

Eventually, it got to the point where Kai couldn't keep track of time anymore.

 

Were the days even passing? Was time even ticking? Was the world revolving anymore, or did it stay still?

 

Regardless, Luhan now gave Kai's life a purpose. Luhan was Kai's purpose. And he didn't have any objections to that.

 

One day, Luhan was happier than usual.

 

"Kai!" A familiar voice yelled from behind the fog.

 

A premature smile emerged from Kai's face. His friend was here. "Luhan!" He called out in return, so that the other could find him through the fog by following his voice.

 

Once again, parting the mist, was Luhan, his smile as sincere and cute as ever.

 

"I feel good today, Kai."

 

"You always feel good, silly."

 

"No I mean really good. I mean it." Luhan turned his head to face Kai so that they stared eye to eye. "Do you ever feel lonely at your foster home? Sometimes I worry about you. You know, wonder if you're eating okay. If you're getting enough sleep. Or if you ever feel like you need a friend." Luhan pouted and his head shook slightly, a habit of his.

 

"Lonely? That's ridiculous..." Kai put his hand around Luhan's shoulder. "I have you."

 

Luhan's lips grew wider and wider until his grin could no longer stretch them. He giggled quietly, trying to muffle his delight by putting his hand over his mouth, but Kai heard his giggle anyway. Somehow, Luhan's voice was able to float above the roaring sounds of speeding cars or crashing waves. Luhan's voice penetrated the pollution of noise that surrounded the bridge. He was pure, everything about him was. "You're so silly..." Kai heard Luhan say, before the other hit him on the chest playfully.

 

Kai closed his eyes and smiled. He was so happy. With Luhan, he was starting to believe in happiness again.

 

Suddenly, he felt a hand clasp around his.

 

He opened his eyes, shocked. He looked beside him. Luhan was staring out into the far distance, but had his hand clasped around his. Luhan held his hand.

 

"L-Luhan... I..."

 

Luhan could only smile. Kai couldn't finish his sentence. "Is there... something wrong?" Luhan looked at Kai with his signature puppy face, slightly confused in his innocence.

 

"I love you Luhan."

 

Kai leaned over and planted a kiss on Luhan's lips. , his lips. They were even softer than his hands. Soft, pink, and warm. Luhan's eyes first were wide open, but they slowly succumbed to their embrace, and slowly closed. Kai put his hands around Luhan's head, moving his hair from side to side with his hands as they held the kiss. Luhan wrapped his arms around Kai's waist instinctively, like a lover.

 

They sat there, kissing, for what seemed like eternity.

 

When they finally parted, Luhan was blushing. 

 

But before Kai could even start to speak, Luhan said melodically, "I love you too."

 

When troubles come your way

 

For what seemed like weeks after, the two met again. Today felt particularly weird though - something didn't feel right in the air. The magical feeling of the bridge somehow seemed weaker today, the fog stale and the water beneath paler than usual. But it was probably all in his head. Kai shook off the thought as he watched Luhan approach him.

 

After a certain point in their conversation, it dawned upon him. "Luhan, remember how I told you about my past?"

 

"Yep. I remember every word of it."

 

"I just realized I never learned yours. Would you mind telling me?" 

 

Luhan's smile disappeared slightly. Kai was a little surprised, but it wasn't enough to derail his usual feeling of happiness when he was with Luhan. "What do you mean?"

 

"You know, where you came from, how your life was before we met, and all that jazz. I'm curious." Kai shuffled in his sitting position a little. "For me?"

 

Unusually, Luhan's smile faded a bit more. "Um... well I don't think that's such a good idea..."

 

"Come on, it's only fair! I told you mine... I poured my heart out to you. I always have, every time we met." This was the first time Kai felt a little impatient.

 

 

I will keep you from harm

 

Kai could not find Luhan the next day.

 

Or the next day.

 

Or the day after that.

 

Luhan did not come again.

 

And just like that, Kai's life was erased.

 

It was reduced back down into the grim, useless, pointlessness that he was all too familiar with. A world of gray and unforgiving, a world of sorrow and pain, a world of suffering and loneliness. It was amazing how much of Kai's life Luhan became. And just like that, it was gone. All of it. Kai was back to square one, with nobody left to talk to except for himself. He was such an idiot. A raging, stupid idiot.

 

And that's when he started to cut himself.

 

It felt good, and Kai felt like he had control over his life again.

 

He was making himself bleed, and who could stop him? The nannies never noticed. They were stupid and full of . They couldn't even notice that he was going through so much pain. They never noticed. 

 

Kai started to bring knives with him to the bridge.

 

He would sit on the ledge with his feet dangling, but and let his blood fall down towards the water below.

 

Kai liked seeing his blood fly through the air.

 

He was finally flying again.

 

So come with me

 

Kai was starting to feel sick. He had lost too much blood. When he looked at his reflection, he could tell that his skin was becoming paler and grayer, kind of like the world around him - at least through his eyes. He didn't need blood. Who did? It was pointless because his life was pointless. His blood was pointless. So what if he lost his life.

 

He walked out to the bridge for what he decided to be his last time.

 

He walked over to the edge of the bridge. The river was still moving underneath. Cars were still racing past behind him. The fog still surrounded the bony metal foundation he was standing on. His toes were now half off the bridge, his body half supported and half in the air. All he needed to take was one step. Finally, his suffering would end. Finally, he wouldn't have to mope about how his life had no purpose. He didn't need a purpose anymore. Every was born so they could die. He was just speeding up the process. What was so wrong about it? Nothing, that's what. Nobody has a purpose in life. Everyone lives to die, so why not choose to die before life can kill you. Kai closed his eyes and tried to remember anything else worth remembering.

 

His bad grades.

 

His bullies.

 

His friends who betrayed him.

 

His mother's lifeless body.

 

His father who had killed her and beat him.

 

His loneliness.

 

His uselessness.

 

His self-harming.

 

But then he remembered.

 

From his back pocket, he pulled out a perfect, pure white feather.

 

"Luhan. Lets fly together."

 

And those were the last words of Kai's existence, words that seemed to flow out seamlessly and continuously from his lips, flowing out non-stop as he stepped off of the bridge, into the air, into nothingness, into freedom.

 

Run away with me

 

"Good afternoon, Mr. Kim."

 

Kai's father stepped warily into the all too familiar setting of the graveyard where his wife and son were buried. All his fault.

 

It has now been around 30 years since he killed his wife. His son had run away terrified, but he could not remember when or why. A few days later, his son had been reported dead by the police as he found out while on trial. He was faced with several charges and spent the consequences of his actions rotting in prison for three decades.

 

After he got out, he visited the graves frequently, almost everyday.

 

Everyday, he would get on his knees in front of his wife and son and beg for forgiveness.

 

The feeling of finding out he had killed his wife was all too fresh in his mind. He didn't remember that he did. He was an evil monster that should burn in hell, yes, but he was going through a lot of in his life as well. Drinking and drugs seemed to make it all go away. But it came with a price.

 

He wiped a tear from his eye.

 

The feeling of finding out about his son's death soon after was all too familiar as well.

 

From what officials had told him, Kai had run away in the middle of the night and covered a distance of about 20 kilometers until he reached the San Francisco bridge. But because it was pitch black dark and in the middle of the night, he could not see any lights and no cars were out at the time he reached the bridge. Without knowing it, Kai had run straight off the bridge, into the crashing waves below. Kai had actually died a few hours after his mother did.

 

When the forensics team recovered his body from the water a few days later, they said his body was bruished and bleeding, as if he had been beaten - presumably by his father. 

 

What was unusual about the finding, however, was that his son's body was found clenching a white dove feather in his hand - it is unclear how he got a hold of the feather in the first place, and it was astonishing that he managed to stay holding onto it as he fell to his death, but he held onto it tight - the foresics team had to nearly rip off his cold, hard fingers during inspection to see what it was. 

 

Come with me

 

Kai's father continued to visit the graves everyday. One day he decided to bring flowers, so he decided to bring a bouquet of daisies - his wife's favourite. 

 

On his way to their grave spots, he dropped a flower by accident in front of the grave next to his son's.

 

He bent down to pick it up, and as he did so, he caught of a glimpse of the name of the person who was buried next to Kai.

 

Lu Han, 1994-2013.

 

He was coincidentally the same age as his son when he died.

 

For some strange reason, a seemingly outlandish thought suddenly raced through his head. Perhaps they died together. It seemed a little ridiculous and far-fetched, but he decided to leave the daisy in front of Luhan's grave anyways.

 

He continued onto his son and wife's grave next to it.

 

From that day forward, white daisies began growing around Kai and Luhan's tombstones.

 

Nobody could explain why or how, but the daisies grew in such large numbers that it was difficult to walk past the area without accidentally stepping on some.

 

And every autumn, the daisy petals would fall to the ground, one by one, their soft, white, porcelain bodies drifting to the ground with beauty and grace.

 

Like the feathers of a dove.

 

Fly away with me.

 

-

 

Authors note: hehe yes, Kai and Luhan's interactions on the bridge are meant to be mysterious and unclear - in a way, it urges readers to think about what may have really happened and piece things together to create their own ending or interpretation. It should be easy to see what the supposed years that Kai had spent with Luhan don't match up with what really happened, as his death in reality was reported to be immediately after his mothers a few hours later. Was it a dream, or was it not a dream? Kai was found with a feather in his hand, and Luhan was actually a real person as well, his grave being next to Kai's. Are they frolicking in the afterworld? Is Kai's life still haunting him in the form of Luhan? Or was Luhan perhaps an angel that met Kai after his death?

There are many possible endings and it is meant to be left open and fragmented for each individual reader to decide/imagine for him or herself. That's what I was trying to go for :)

Let me know what you think happened, or what you want to have happened!

Thanks for tuning in everyone ^^