As I looked out the window, slowly, painfully… the memories started to flash in my mind. There was a time that I always thought we would be together. There was a time that I always thought we would be able to weather the storm together. But now looking at the present… I suddenly asked myself “what happened?”… What happened to you, to me, to us and to our dreams?

Maybe this is what I get for wishing for something that wasn’t mine to begin with, for taking a chance, for being the first one to say the words “I like you.” Maybe I should have waited. Maybe it would have been better if I wasn’t brave that time. Maybe things would have changed for the better…

Can I go back and change the present? Somehow the words keep on echoing in my mind but the words have already flown with the wind. All the things that are left now are broken promises, pain and loneliness. There is no more of the word “love” or maybe there wasn’t any of it to begin with. The only word left now is “pain.”

How can you teach yourself to move on… move on with a life that you have never imagined would be yours? Every day you look at the things around you and somehow everything has a piece of memory that painfully stabs you over and over again. The tears have already flowed a thousand times that you can no longer count. Every song that you hear somehow sings about you and you just try to pretend not to hear any of the words that somehow mock you and make your heart ache with such unbearable pain.

You somehow try to forgive but your heart has already shattered into a million pieces. How can you pick your heart up when it’s already gone? How can you tell yourself that you’ll be okay, that you’ll be able to accept… when you’re not even sure if you’ll be able to find an answer.

What do you do when you’ve already lost…. when you already feel the cold? Everything has already lost its meaning and it is already starting a new path in someone else’s dream. How do you hold on? Do you keep on pretending not to see… not to hear… not to feel? Or do you let go and finally accept reality?

Every night you try to hold on to a heart but painfully you realize, it already belongs to someone else. How do you go on? Pretend or move on? It is only then you tell yourself… You have chosen your path and you will have to bravely face it….

Sadly, the tears come again… They are your company for each and every night until the time comes that you can finally find what you lost.  For now, just cry yourself to sleep… And think that tomorrow will be a better day… So rest for now, broken heart.