Ren's POV

 

The fire, for a brief time, seems to be offering respite from the winter storm outside. A dance of light and shadows spilled from the fireplace, glinting off a cobweb of frost on the window, turning the living room into a sanctuary of warm air. I look out of the window. The crisp, white, shining covering transforms the landscape, making it a magical land full of wonder and undiscovered mysteries. Large crystalline flakes fall from heaven, as if the angels are having a pillow fight and the goose feathers fall onto our humble homes. The temperature has dipped to a little below zero degrees as I sit on the red velvet couch, waiting patiently for my Prince Charming to arrive at my doorstep. 

 

It is our 5th year anniversary and I specially dolled up to look my best tonight. Aron said he would be bringing me to somewhere classy to enjoy ourselves so I made sure to not look too casual. My subconscious is ecstatic. He is like a little child preparing to get on his first rollercoaster ride. I can hardly hide the silly smile that pulled at my lips. Both my subconscious and I know very well what might happen this night. Aron had been dropping several hints that the two of us should settle down soon. I tried to play along, acting like I didn't get the hint which often drove him to changing the topic. My subconscious does a little role play with himself, acting out how Aron would propose. Choi Minki, I love you. I love you to the universe and back. I want to love you forever and always, will you marry me? I threaten to kick him out of the window but he doesn't stop, knowing that nothing I do will have a strong effect on him. 

 

I take out the little platinum pocket mirror from my bag and touch up on my makeup, adding a little pink gloss. I didn't want to look too girly, so I went for a uni look, the way Aron likes it. My subconscious gives me an approving look and I beam into the mirror. The chilly setting outside is a direct contrast to my cosy living room. I lean against a warm cushion, admiring the colors red, yellow and orange dance in the light. Aron was to pick me up at 6.30pm and it is currently 6.25. I giggle to myself, wondering how Aron reacted when he saw the new Porsche that I bought him as our 5th anniversary present. He'd probably stand gaping at the Porsche for ages before getting into the car and seeing my little love letter. I shake my head just thinking of his silliness. Sometimes I wonder, why did I even fall for such a guy? Ah right, because he is literally everything that I want in a guy. After all, love is difficult to understand, but breathtakingly beautiful. My subconscious is drooling at the thought of seeing Aron in the exquisite red Porsche.

 

Time tick pass slowly, as I remain on the couch. It is quiet in my apartment as my roommates Baekho and JR are out to have a drink. Those two guys.. They're always visiting the club. Even though they never settled with a single partner for more than two weeks, they are genuinely nice deep down, after you look past the jerk-side of theirs. 

 

I start getting a little edgy as the hour hand of the clock hit 7. Aron is never late. My hand reaches over to my cream coloured phone case and flips the cover, there are no messages. Even if he is going to be late, I am sure he would definitely text me a message. Did he oversleep...? On our fifth anniversary? My subconscious retorted. I highly doubt so.. The flames in the fireplace falters a little, probably due to the lack of extra firewood.

 

My eyes drift to the driveway. It is empty and dark despite the dreamy atmosphere created by the soft white blanket. Should I give him a call? Maybe he is driving... Or perhaps a traffic jam? A call wouldn't hurt, would it? After a moment of debating with my ever protesting subconscious, I key in the numbers that have been imprinted in my memory. 

 

Aron didn't pick up the call. Did something happen? My heart picks up on its regular marathon as I bite on my lip. My subconscious immediately kick the negative thought away, and try to come up with various possibilities of why Aron didn't answer my call. Maybe something important cropped up? Or maybe his phone went out of battery.. Even so, I am worried. Well, worried is an understatement. There is a strong unnerving feeling in my gut that something did happen yet I am praying that nothing is wrong. 

 

I stand up, unable to continue sitting. The photos on the old teak shelves catch my attention. One holds the memory of our first trip to Australia together. We were at a beach, enjoying the sunshine. I remember the comforting heat that both of us basked in.. How we shared iced tea on the beach soaking in the sunlight.. My subconscious melts at the memory. It was a lovely, lovely trip. Another, right next to the previous one, holds the memory of us in Shanghai. It was a photo of me feeding Aron a soup dumpling, or known as xiaolongbao in Chinese. It was a delicious warm delicacy. I took the candid photo despite the protests of Aron and secretly printed them out. He didn't grumble much when he saw the developed photo, though. My subconscious is on his little bed, hugging an enormous fluffy bear, absolutely content and relishing in both fond memories. 

 

All of a sudden, the ringing of my phone shatters the silence. The imaginary bed vanishes and my subconscious falls hard on the cold hard floor. He scowls at me as though it is my fault. I decide to ignore him and fumble for a moment before sliding the correct button and answering the call.

 

"Hello, this is Choi Ren." The call is from a private number.

 

"Mr Choi, I am absolutely sorry to tell you that Mr Aron Kwak has been involved in a car accident and is in the emergency ward of Gangnam General Hospital." A grave voice delivers a message I'm not prepared for. My subconscious falls unconscious. My breath stays hitched at my throat. I am unable to think for a split second. My world momentarily skids to a stop. Nothing moves. I can't breathe. The temperature just dropped a degree or two.

 

"Hello? Mr Choi? Mr Choi? " My subconscious awakes and my mind race to think of something to say.

 

"I got it, thank you." I hit the end call button and enter the blistering cold breeze of winter. Ignoring the bone-chilling gust of wind, I unlock the car and climb into my own silver Audi. I double check the gears to make sure that my Audi is in snow mode. I have to make it to Aron's side safely, especially in such a weather with the road so slippery. Is that what caused the accident? Is it because of the Porsche? Is it because of me? My subconscious is silent. Before I head towards the hospital, I called Minhyun who is Aron's cousin and working in Gangnam General Hospital. As expected, Minhyun did not answer the call.

 

"May I know which ward is Mr Aaron Kwak in?" I ask the nurse at the reception counter. She types quickly into the computer, scrolling a few pages before replying, "Ward A132. Would you like one of our nurses to you there, Mr Choi?" I nod, not trusting my voice.

 

"Ren!" I turn to see Minhyun. "It's okay Ms Kim, I will show him the way." Ms Kim nods at Minhyun before attending to another visitor. I try to focus on keeping a straight face. Some of the people recognize me and stare. Of course, why would a person like me be in a place like this? My subconscious decides to not confront them, there are more important things at hand. 

 

"Is he alright?" I ask, trying to restrain myself from bombarding Minhyun with questions. Minhyun remains silent as we walk. That can't be good. We quicken our footsteps. I don't want to waste any time. My nails dig into my palm as I brace myself for the recount.

 

"He crashed into a lamppost while avoiding a reckless motorist. The motorist was mildly injured but Aron.." Minhyun trails off, hesitant to reveal too much to me. So it wasn't the Porsche... But with Minhyun's tone, it meant that Aron isn't completely out of danger yet. 

 

It feels as though we've walked through a labyrinth of white doors and halls when finally, we stop in front of a white door. The name tag at the door writes "Kwak YoungMin" in bold, Aron's birth name. I cringe. Am I prepared for what I am going to see? My subconscious gives me an encouraging nod as I push open the door, revealing four white walls, a white bed, white side tables, white curtains.

 

Right in the middle of the room, in front of me, is Aron. The sterile white bandages wrap around his head, arm and legs securely. It seems like hardly any part of his body is unscathed. His eyes are closed. Asleep or coma? I bite on my lip to distract myself from the wrenching pain in my heart. It hurts. Yet, what's most important is the steady rising and lowering of Aron's chest. He is alive and breathing, that's what matters most to me now. A teardrop escapes my eyes and I realise that I am tearing because of the relief that Aron is safe. I swiftly wipe away all traces of the teardrop, aware of Minhyun's gaze in my direction. 

 

Slowly, I make my way to Aron's side. As though sensing my presence, Aron's eyes flutter open to meet my teary ones. He's awake! His hand reaches up for my face and I grab it tightly, trying to hold on to whatever that's left in him. Aron face is as pale as winter, the direct contrast of the light shade of summer that always radiates through him. The once lustrous dark hair of his seems faded. He looks so fragile... And my heart aches to see him in this state. Where did my lively Aron go? Where did my sunshine disappear to?

 

My eyes shift to see Aron open his mouth, trying say something. I let go of his hand to remove the oxygen mask.

 

"Don't.. Cry.." 

 

I can hardly make out the words in his feeble voice and this makes me want to tear up even more but my subconscious knows better. I take a deep breath and put on a smiling face, hoping to remove any traces of unhappiness. Aron won't want to see me in this state. Aron likes me smiling. I have to smile for him. 

 

"You.. look ugly.. With that weird face.." This time, I break into a real, unforced smile. That's my Aron. No matter how tough a situation, he is always trying to liven the mood. Even now.. I saw a glint of humor in Aron's eyes, bringing some sense of life in his seemingly lifeless body. I have a sudden want to pull him into a hug but I can't, not when he is in such a breakable state.

 

"Minki.. Happy 5th anniversary to us.. I love you.." His hand reaches up once again and I lean into them, letting his chilly hands caress my cheek. 

 

"I love you too, Aron," I whisper.

 

"After I get out of here.. Let's get the house.. We were looking at.. Last week.. It's beautiful.. And we will adopt three kids.. Alright, Minki?" My vision starts to blur with the tears once again but I hold them back, knowing they will do nothing but upset Aron. I have to stay strong. I have to stay strong for Aron. 

 

"Yes, Aron. The house on the hillside, right? And in the little backyard, we will have a garden. You will help me plant the daffodils, won't you? Three kids? Alright.. We shall adopt a puppy as well.. The kids will like an extra companion, won't they?" I blabber on, keeping up with my smiling face.

 

"Of course.. Minki.. A dachshund.. The kids will like a dachshund.. And we will stay there forever.. And always.. I will grow old with you.. Through the good times.. And bad times.. The kids will have kids.. "

 

"Yes, Aron.. Everything will be perfect.." I trail of, a bleak smile spreading across Aron's face, adding a little colour to his chapped lips. Suddenly, my subconscious has an idea. "Aron, can you wait a moment, I have to get something." He nods and I get up from my seat.

 

"Minhyun," Minhyun looks up when he heard his name, "where's the chaplain?" 

 

I have a plan. I visit the next door couple and very politely borrow their rings. I have to do it. I can't risk anything, especially when I know that there's a high possibility.. My subconscious forces me not to think about it. I tell my plan to the hospital chaplain and without questions, he agrees to help me. Of course he will... As I return to Aron's ward with my pair of rings and the chaplain, JR and Baekho enter the ward as well. It seems like Minhyun informed them about the incident and they had rushed back from their regular clubbing. I give them a wry smile before turning back to face my Aron. 

 

"Minki.. What's this about?" Aron asks softly as I bend down on my knees, and look into his eyes.

 

"Aron, I want you forever and always, through the good, the bad and the ugly. We'll grow old together, and will always remember each other, whether happy, or sad, or whatever. I love you Aron, forever and always. Will you marry me?" I manage to choke out the words as the whole room erupts into applause and cheers. I look around to see my three dear friends who are all hiding their tears behind their laughter.

 

"Minki... Yes, yes I will." I can see the tears glistening in Aron's eyes but I resist the urge to let loose of mine. I can't, not yet.

 

The chaplain takes over and says a couple of verses. "Do you, Choi Minki, take him, Kwak YoungMin, to be your husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do you part?" 

 

My hand reaches over to Aron's and I hold them tightly, before replying, "I do."

 

"Now do you, Kwak YoungMin, take him, Choi Minki, to be your husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do you part?" 

 

Without any hesitation, I hear Aron's solid reply, "I do."

 

"By the power vested in me by God, I now pronounce you a couple. You may now kiss." 

 

The room erupts in cheers once again but it is louder. My parents have arrived to the scene and are accompanied by a few other nurses who I suppose are to check on Aron. My heart warms at the scene and I don't have to be told twice. I plant a soft kiss on Aron's lips and cheers are heard once again. I slip on the rings on both Aron and my ring fingers, tying the knot between the two of us. Finally, we are bound together for life..

 

However, the steady beep of Aron's heartbeat is getting slower. My subconscious stops throwing rose petals into the air. 

 

Aron wraps his hands around mine, and in a low raspy voice which I can barely make out the words of, he manages to say "I love you forever, forever and always. Please just remember even if I'm not there, I'll always love you.... forever and... always." 

 

After saying the last words, my hands are no longer held by Aron's. I hold tightly onto his as a high-pitched resounding continuos beep filled the room. I lower my head onto Aron's bed, hiding my tear-streaked face. The tears fall uncontrollably, staining the clean white bed sheets.This is it. I know it is bound to happen but never have I been prepared for the sense of loss. The room buzzed with the shuffling of feet and many orders commanded as Minhyun and the nurses crowd around the bed. I feel either Baekho or JR or both their arms supporting my weight as they shift me to the couch. The absence of Aron's hands in mine, left mine cold, cold like winter. I lost him. I really lost my one and only Aron. He's gone.

 

In the cold winter night, something is taken away from me, my source of warmth, my summer. The night is cold and lonely, bitingly cold. It's too cold outside for the angels to fly. The angels who do, die, covered in white. The crystal snowflakes fall from the sky, and shatter into a million smaller pieces upon hitting the bed of white. My heart which was once brought up so high by my sunshine, comes crashing down. It shatters into two pieces which will never fit back ever again. The pain in my heart, is unbearable. The freezing pain is blisteringly unbearable..

 

{End}

 

Author's Note: I spent quite a long time writing this and I know it might not be too good, and it is a little way too short but... I hope it left an impression on you guys (: Do leave a comment and I hoped you like it.