A/N:

Here comes the second chapter.. I'm sorry I post this later than I had promised.. TT__TT

Anyway, this chapter is also inspired by Colbie Caillat's song, and this one is from a song titled "Like Yesterday"..

This chapter is the longest chapter I ever write, so be prepare.. You may want to prepare a glass of water and some snack, maybe? Just in case you'll get bored in the middle.. :p

Oh, and thanks so much for those who subsribed, voted and commented on the last chapter.. ^^

Enjoy!!

“Pilkyo-ah, what your answer would be?”

You asked it very slowly while gently caressing my upper lips. Another you still carried after all these years. The tip of your fingers was so cold against my skin but they also ignited small electricity that went straight to my heart – making it beats faster than it has ever been. So it was true, that my heart wasn’t belonged to me anymore. Whenever you were around, you could play with it as you like.

It was my own mistake to give my heart to you.

I stared straight at your eyes and tried to find any doubt or hesitation or anything – but I found nothing like that. You didn’t wear your bright childish smile and your eyes were dark in determination. And with every small from your fingers, you urged me to answer quickly. After all these years I’ve known you, I thought I already knew every single bit about you. But from time to time, I was always surprised by the intensity of your presence. This is the man that I knew from my youth and became the most significant being of my life ever since. And that same man now was standing in front of me, completely unarmed me with the simplest touch, and demanded for my answer.

Seriously, can’t you see my answer already?

***

I remember it like it just happened yesterday – the first time I understood what was going on with me. The reason why my heart fluttered uncontrollably whenever you’re around, finally I understood it. But wait, if I remembered it correctly, my heart fluttered not only when you’re around me. My heart was also fluttering whenever I heard your voice or laughter, when our skin accidentally brushed each other, when someone spoke out your name on random conversations and as silly as it sounds, my heart also fluttered whenever I saw your stuffs like your toothbrush on the dorm bathroom every morning.

I wondered how and when this all began – the crazy stance I was in right now – but couldn’t find the answer. I mean, how on earth I could fall in love with you? You were my friend, my roommate and also my freaking leader. Even the idea of loving you was unthinkable for me. But somehow your presence (and even your lack of presence) could get me beyond my reasoning. Whenever and wherever I sensed your silly face, your jokes, your weird habit, and even your body odor, I would predictably get agitated and nagged at you. How the hell my aversion towards you turned into affection, I couldn’t explain.

What the hell did you do to me?

Did you put something on my food? Or my drink?

And that night everything was changed.

I still couldn’t remember when or where the love began leaving traces, but I was sure it was all over me now. That night, we were sitting side by side on a crowded bus but it seemed like just the two of us. I intentionally looked out the window to avoid your stare. I knew that you were observing me since we’re getting into the bus and it got me nervous as hell. My brain fooled me, because now I couldn’t sense anything but your drilling stare. No other human being than you, and no sound could be heard other than your breathing. Everything else was less important at the moment you sneakily slipped your left hand into my jacket pocket and intertwined your cold fingers with mine. And as you held my hand inside the pocket, I finally got it. The flutters, the feeling, and the yearning – you felt it too. I was not alone in this.

I remembered it like it just happened yesterday – the way you nervously said that you didn’t know where to start or what to say to me. But you, the slippery bastard, already leaned close to my ear and whispered lowly between your bashful giggles, “I think I like you, Pilkyo.”

And after that night, my life was far more interesting than what I ever remembered. The life before you, I still remember it like yesterday. I was living in black and white life – a careful and colorless life. That was why sometimes I couldn’t fathom your jokes or careless mind. But since you came, my life changed. You were like a neon light that shined through my closed eyes. No matter how I tried to block my visions, your rays were overpowering me. You carved me with your light. And these new days were far more nerve-wrecking than I ever imagined, if I might add. Oh my dear goodness, I was dating a guy! And I like it! I, Jung Pilkyo, was dating my own bandmates and my leader who I met every day – we worked and practiced together and we even lived at the same dorm. And we’re hiding it from other members who also lived with us under the same roof. It felt like I was playing hide and seek 24 hours every day nonstop.

But I couldn’t deny that I was so happy during those times.

You were a lousy lover back then. The only place you ever took me was the noodles restaurant, the first gift you gave me was take away burger and cola, and our first kiss took place inside our dorm room. But believe me, I treasure our time together more than you think. Those burgers were the most delicious burgers I ever ate and that time on our first kiss, I swear I could see the stars. I still remember those little folded up love letters that you left under my pillow every night. Those were simple paper with one cheesy sentence on it, but every night they made me go bubbly and formed content smile on my face. I also remember those lollipops and chocopies you shoved inside my pocket or my backpack when I wasn’t looking. Your own way to make sure I took enough calories every day. There was a time when I felt so lucky to find you.

But of course, nothing lasts forever. For our case, it only lasted for four months. That night, I realized one hidden fact about me. Turned out, I was a despicable being who bluntly hurt the person I claimed to love the most. How could I lie at your face and said that I was never serious with you? How could I tell you to forget this?

I remember it like yesterday, the first time when you said that you had a girlfriend. It felt like someone squeezed my heart and lungs inside my chest and refused to let it go for the good ten minutes. It hurts like hell and I couldn’t breathe. But of course, I didn’t tell you how I really feel. One voice inside my head was continuously saying, “That’s okay. That’s for the good.” The more I see you with many girls, the more I lied to you. The more I lied to you, the more I felt nothing. Only numbness. Just because I refuse to admit there was more pain inside my heart.

When you said that you love her, it was the end for me. My mission was complete. You finally forgot me. And find my replacement. She was nice and beautiful and you adored each other. No room for me in your heart anymore. You moved on. But why I wasn’t happy at all?

“I broke up with her.”

“Are you okay? Should I come over?”

I ran and ran the hallway and stairs just to see you. I didn’t know why I did that, but at that time I just wanted to hold you close. Just in case I could provide you a little peace you might need.

And I remember it like yesterday, the way you tore open my protective layer by saying, “Stay with me, Pilkyo.”

And you did even more by challenging me. “If we don't try than we'll never know, Pilkyo. Just this once, please. Just this once, can we try to let it go?” It was always a mystery, how you could change my mind so easily.

I was so glad I answered, “Okay.” The first honest word I produced after so many years of pretending.

We took baby steps. I slowly opened myself to you again and you slowly built my trust again. Nobody pushed for anything. This kind of relationship was like a spider web. Essentially strong, but could easily distraught by smallest . We cured our pain gently and slowly. We let the time heals us.

Until one day, I fell on the stage. Right after the fall, my world clouded and filled with physical pain. And only after they gave me painkiller, my mind could be clear again. That was when the realization hit me. All these years, I carried a heart without hope and had given up on mystery. When I thought I was fine alone without you, that’s just because I didn’t know. All these years I couldn’t see clearly, because I only saw mirrors and smoke. That was why my sights were only blur reflections of the truth. I’ve been living an empty life.

All the right ones, they turned out wrong. I thought loving you seemed so far away and giving up could be wiser choice. But I was wrong. I thought I could live without you, but I was wrong too. I thought I could endure the pain and forget you. And again, I was wrong. All the things that I thought was right, tonight I realized that they were wrong. And only by the pain throbbing from my knee that could remind me how broken I was these last years without you.

“Is it hurt?” I heard an awkward question from the voice I knew too well.

I remember it like yesterday, that night I realized another thing. No matter how many times I did wrong, but you were here all along. It was too much. This sudden realization was too much – I found myself giggling while crying.

When you hugged me and let me cry on your shoulders, you shushed me when I endlessly said, “I’m sorry I messed up.” As you caressed my back, you said it wasn’t my fault that I fell on the stage and nobody blamed me. Little that you know, that night I was talking about us.

I’m sorry I messed up with everything – our love, our relationship, our chance.

The more I think about it, you always came just in time for me. Every now and then, you saved me. That’s why I needed you in my life. Maybe it was time for me stop running.

“Junghyuk?”

“Hmm?”

“Thank you.” I muttered slowly.

“What for? The soup? It was barely anything.” You giggled as if I just said something really ridiculous.

“For staying.” With me. After all these years. After all my bad treatments toward you. “But what can we do?”

You put your spoon aside and waited for exactly three seconds before asked. “Can we try to let it go?”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you love me?” And again, you asked with much hesitation and doubt. I knew, it was my fault that I gave you the wrong impression during these past years, but on the other hand, you always knew that I was lying all the time. I thought you knew that I love you, even after the passing times.

But then again, I guess, the spoken words were always important. I needed to tell you clearly, how my feeling for you was never changed.

“Yes.”

I was surprised by the fact that the words slipped so easily. No stuttering. No shame. No regret whatsoever after that. Instead, I felt so much relieved – I could feel it swarming from under my skin and heated the surface. I had forgotten about this amazing feeling of being honest in front of the loved ones, and with just a little courage, now I could taste it again.

“And I love you too, Pilkyo. We’ve come to different places and through many years, but I still love you and still want you. Can we try to let it go? All the fear and what if? Because if we don't try than we'll never know what may happen to us.”

“Are you sure?”

“I promise I will try to break through but you know that it's up to you. If you say yes, then I’m ready for war. If you say no, just keep in your mind that I’ll follow you until you say yes.” You said and ended it with mischievous twinkle on your eyes.

“It's time to make a stand. Maybe it won't last, Pilkyo-ah. But we should take this chance.” You said again.

“Junghyuk, I’m still afraid.”

“To fear is one thing. But to let fear grab you by the tail and swing you around is another. Just let me try with you, Pilkyo.”

Mun Junghyuk, you are a hell of a politician! How could you move my heart so easily like this? I would never say that my fear vanished, but I got your point clearly. I could see it in my head now, how I foolishly let the fear grabbed me by the tail and swung me around. To think about it, Jung Pilkyo, you should be ashamed of yourself! I hadn’t tried but I already gave up, just because I was afraid of people’s opinion. If fate meant me to lose, then I should’ve given him a good fight anyhow. Dammit, my brain must have been rotten, I realized it only after twelve years.

“I will try to break through but you know that it's up to you.”

Did I believe your promise? Of course I believed it. You were the kind of man who highly valued the promise you ever made. You were the one who led us leaving the giant company and moved to much smaller one, just because you ever promised that we would never disband. You were the one who brought me a hundred roses for my birthday just because I said I want it and you promised buying them for me. You were the one who reserved the seat on the far corner and watched my concert until the end, just because you promised to come on both days of my concert.

“Pilkyo-ah, what your answer would be?”

“You really don’t know what my answer would be?” I said in disbelief – I didn’t realize that I was shouting at him. “Aish!”

Jeez, this guy supposedly had a very smart brain, and yet you could be very stupid and slow sometimes. I took your hand away from my cheek (I noticed that you were very startled because of that) and was about to get up from my chair, but then I remembered that I didn’t have my crutches with me. I sat back on my chair and gazed at you. At first, you only blinked blankly. But the sudden change of your face’s color showed that you were a little panic from my shouting.

Oh my, if only you could see your own stupid expression. Your famous round eyes widened in shock and it brought me back to some years ago when I first fell in love with you because of those eyes.

I couldn’t help but softened my voice. “Come here, you idiot.” I said as I tugged your hand lightly.

You got up and before you couldn’t do anything else, I pulled your hand and made you bend your back from the force. Placed my lips on the route of your lips, I wasn’t hesitant to kiss you when our lips met. I felt your body went rigid in shock and for two seconds (yes, I counted it), you didn’t reciprocate my motion. So I flung both of my arms and hugged you on your neck, before forcefully brought you closer.

I was always bad in showing my feeling through words. Let me answer your question in this way.

As if you could hear my silent excuse, in an instant you fell on your knees and hugged me back. Finally, you returned my kiss. Oh my God! Now it was my turn to get a shock. It was twelve years ago when the last time we kissed (fan service kisses weren’t counted) and this same sweet taste of your kisses were exactly like how I remembered it. Honestly, sometimes I lost hope that we could be together again. But you, the persistent yet stubborn bastard, kept waiting for me for these twelve years. I unconsciously hugged you tighter and let myself being drowned in the flooding sensation.

“So the answer is yes?” You whispered huskily when we parted for the air.

“Yes.” I pressed my forehead on yours and sensed your relieved sigh. “But I must warn you.” There were some things I need to make clear.

“Warn me?” Your forehead furrowed in confuses.

“I can be very annoying and hard to handle kind of lover. Is it okay?”

You only let out a small chuckle and nodded.

“And you know that I have this bad habit to curse and throw things when agitated, but I’ll try not to do it very often. Is it okay for you?”

“Yes. It’s very much okay with me.” You nodded again. “And I have something to tell you too.”

“What is it?”

“I know that our love can grow, Pilkyo-ah. Bigger and much stronger than today.” You said before leaned on me and took my lips again on a deeper kiss this time. I couldn’t stop smiling to imagine the days lay ahead of me – with you on my side. And even though it was impossible, I thought I heard you whispered “I promise” while you were kissing me. Do I believe your promise? Million times, I do.

***

“Aaahh, it’s raining!” I exclaimed in surprised the moment I stepped out the building and noticed the drizzle. “Why is it always raining on a moment like this?” I complained to nobody while putting the hoodie over my head. I did my hair for more than one hour on hair salon and now I had to cover it under my hoodie because of the rain.

“It’s okay, I like it this way. The air is fresher after the rain.” You said absentmindedly from behind me. “Don’t you think that it’s kind of romantic?” You suddenly hugged me from behind and whispered slowly on my ear.

I involuntarily jumped. One year passed since ‘we’re together’, but I still couldn’t accustomed of you’re hugging me outside our house. “Yah, let go. What if people see us?” Not that I care about their opinion, but I highly opposed this kind of affection because it always makes me blushing violently.

“So what? I’m the CEO of this place, anyway. They could mind their own business while I’m minding my own lover.” You said teasingly like a cocky brat. “Let’s go.” You pushed me to walk forward while still hugging me and pressing your cheek to my shoulder.

“I like it so much when you come picking me up like this. Do it more often.” You began jumping on your seat and made a cute voice on purpose. “Please~~”

“I only picking you up because you said you don’t bring your car.”

“Then I won’t bring my car more often from this day. Be prepare, Babe.” Then you chuckled happily –clearly proud of your clever idea. I glanced at your happy smile and found myself smiling with you before started the engine.

“Are you sure you want to walk around the park tonight? In this weather?” I asked rather unsure when I was reaching our destination. I turned off the engine and subconsciously pouted – didn’t you know that I just styled my hair? And why the hell you want to walk around the park, anyway?

“Oh, come on, it’s hardly raining. It’s just merely drizzling.” You chuckled before unbuckled your seat belt and swiftly stepped out the car.

“Hey! Put an umbrella!” I shouted rather panicky. In an instant, I robbed my umbrella I kept under the dashboard, opened my car door and ran around the hood to you. I found you were giggling and squinting your eyes because of the pouring rain. “You’re such an idiot!” I hissed while opening the umbrella over our heads. “You may catch a cold.”

“I have you to take care of me, so I won’t worry.” You said that while smiling. This kind of act from you, even though it was totally stupid, but I’m grateful of it. You said the similar sentence many times in this past year. That you do not worry because I will take care of you. For some people, it might sound like dependence, but for me it sounded like you involve me in your life – even in the smallest aspect of your life. You literally shared your whole life with me. And what could be more satisfying than that?

“Let’s make one lap walk, then go home.” I suggested before held your hand and led you to walk the park.

Tonight, suddenly you wanted to walk around the park. This was quite unusual, but since I was dealing with you, I should expect the unexpected. The park was empty – since it was midnight already – so we could walk hand in hand at ease.

“Yeobo?” You whispered.

“Yes?”

“I love you.” You suddenly said. I stopped and turned my head to face you. “Now it’s you and me.” You said while smiling.

After the commitment ceremony we held two weeks before, you loved to say the words again and again. Now it’s you and me. We had no wedding band or fancy reception, just an announcement followed by casual dinner with our friends and families. But it was more than enough for us. Because now it’s you and me.

You cupped my cheek before leaned to kiss me. Your lips were cold against mine, but they ignited the familiar heat all over my body. I forgot how or when, but the next thing I knew, I already threw the umbrella away and hugged your neck so tightly. Cold waters were pouring on our head and shoulders, but it only made us holding closer – desperate to find the warmth from nearest source. We would surely catch flu tomorrow. But it never stopped us. Sometimes it gets me so ashamed, how I’m easily swept off my composed and uptight self whenever I’m in your embrace.

Your lips moved slowly but the effect on me was completely contrasted. It got me hyped up and soon, I felt so dizzy.

I remember it like yesterday, our life in the dorm since the first day. And I remember it like yesterday, when I thought that loving you seemed far away. Of course I couldn’t forget those short moments when we’re young and tried out things together – our first kiss, our first ‘I love you’, our first fight and our first (and ever) break up. I remember it like yesterday, and sometimes it sent me cold shivers, those dark days of me when I thought I could live without you. No word could describe how I felt when I finally found my courage again to walk to your embrace. I remember that night when our hearts both found their ways to each other.

I love how everything changed.

Because now it’s you and me.

And as I kissed you under this pouring rain, I know I would remember this night too. So clear, like yesterday.