December 24, 2011

 

‘Beep…Beep…Beep…’ the room was dead silent, except for the sounds from the machine attached to Hana. She opened her eyes and it was pitch black. Swallowing back a chuckle, she wondered what was she expecting? Her eyes were still covered by bandages, it had been so for the past month and even the tiniest trace of light couldn’t penetrate the thick bandages. It reminded Hana of her life where no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t find that silver lining, that trace of hope, that light at the end of the tunnel.

Closing her eyes again, she drifted off into a restless sleep.

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‘What are you all doing?!’

Seomi opened her eyes and looked up at the back of her savior. She was crouched on the ground, trying to protect herself from the guys who had pushed her. She had no idea why do they keep picking on her, as she had done no wrong to them, weren’t they all supposed to be friends?

'Ha, Hana, you should stay out of this.’ Cha Seung warned.

‘No, I’m not going to sit idle by the side and watch you all bully her’. Hana opened her arms and stretched them out, trying to maximize her position as a shield for Seomi.

Cha Seung and his gang glared at Hana but she was not one to back down, Hana stared back at them, unwaveringly. Behind her, she could hear the girl trying to get up on her feet.

‘Good’, Hana thought.

Just when the tension was accumulating to its peak, it was broken by the headmaster’s booming voice across the field.

‘What are you kids doing?!’

Cha Seung was the first person to break contact, he raised a hand and waved backwards, indicating his gang to back off. 

‘But… but’

‘We’re leaving.’

Without a second glance, they left, leaving only Hana and Seomi to deal with the headmaster.

‘Are you girls alright?’

‘Yes, Mr Park’, Hana replied and bowed, ‘sorry’.

‘Tell me if Cha Seung and his friends harass you two again, I will tell them off, it’s not the first time they are doing this. Now, go to your next class.’

Once Mr Park was out of ear shot, Seomi turned to Hana and grabbed both of her hands in hers ‘ Thank you, Hana’, Seomi smiled, ‘you saved me again.’ It was not the first time Hana had came to defend her. Seomi was an easy target as she was small for a middle school student, whereas Hana was tall and big sized.

Hana waved it off; ‘It’s no big deal’ she smiled, revealing her trademark dimples.

Seomi smiled back in return, ‘I won’t know what to do without you Hana, you are my guardian angel.’

Hana couldn’t hold back her chuckles, ‘Guardian Angel? Hahaha I’ve never heard people calling their friends that before.’

Seomi grinned in reply and then in all seriousness, she asked ‘Will you be my best friend, Hana? Let’s be best friends!’

Hana tilted her head to one side and pretended to be contemplating over her question, ‘Hmm… I’ll have to think about that. It’s no easy task being your best friend…’

Seomi pouted and couldn’t hide her disappointment.

Hana laughed, ‘Of course I am willing to be your best friend! I will always have your back.’

Seomi smiled and jumped up and down, taking Hana’s clasped hands with her.

‘Yay! Let’s be friends forever!’

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Hana was awoken by light shaking and the sound of the curtains being drawn. She could feel the sun’s rays on her exposed skin and it felt comforting. It indicated that another day was gone and she was one less day away from freedom.

‘Morning! Had a good sleep yesterday?’ Jieun asked as she helped Hana sit up.

Hana frowned as she was reminded of her dream last night. It wasn’t exactly a dream but a buried memory that she had forced herself to forget, why was it suddenly dug up again?

‘Is everything ok?’ Jieun enquired upon noticing Hana’s silence.

‘Yeah, everything’s fine. Can you help me to the washroom?’ Hana brushed her dream aside as she focused on her tasks for the day. Her life has been monotonous and repetitive for the past year – wake up, breakfast, exercise for 2 hours, lunch, consultation with Dr. Byun, exercise for another 2 hours, light dinner or sometimes no dinner at all before retiring for the night. Her only communication was with Dr. Byun and Jieun, whom she had formed an unlikely friendship with.

‘Jieun, when’s my consultation with Dr.Byun today? Is he available?’

“Yeah, he was initially booked by another client but whoever it is changed their appointment date, so he’s free at the original timing 2pm today.’

Hana nodded in acknowledgement as she squeezed Jieun’s hands thankfully. Jieun was her lifeline. Without her, Hana would have sunk into worst depths than now.

She was Hana’s guardian angel.

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‘60kg’ Jieun muttered as she wrote down Hana’s weekly weight, ‘good job! You’ve came a far way from your initial 85kg’. She patted Hana’s arms in encouragement.

Hana allowed herself a minute of happiness before dispersing it, ‘it’s not enough’, She thought to herself, ‘not enough…’

Dr. Byun walked in and assisted Hana off the weighing machine.

‘How are you, Hana? Jieun has been updating me of your progress. Hmm, you have lost approximately 25kg since you have been here, it’s great progress!’ He paused and smiled in encouragement at Hana although she couldn’t see him.

‘Let’s look at your schedule, hmm… The bandages around your eyes should be removable by today…’ Hana turned to his direction in surprise, ‘… and your next operation will be a week later’.

Dr Byun sat Hana down on her bed, ‘I’m going to remove the bandages around your eyes now.’ Hana nodded and she felt Dr Byun’s hands going around her head.

‘Ok, now, slowly open your eyes, slowly… slowly…’ Hana gradually opened her eyes but her surroundings were still too bright as she covered her eyes with her hands.

‘Jieun, close the curtains’ Dr Byun ordered as he slowly guided Hana’s hands away. ‘Better now?’

Hana opened her eyes again and she saw herself, it has been a month and she looked so different, so much thinner and her eyes….

Hana covered with her hand in disbelief; it was perfect and what she had wanted. She turned to Jieun and Dr Byun, ‘Me… that’s me…’ tears of joy were glistening in her eyes.

Jieun and Dr Byun both chuckled, ‘Yes, that’s you.’, Dr Byun said, ‘ it turned out more perfect than I thought. Good work.’ He patted himself on his back.

Hana couldn’t help herself as she laughed at Dr Byun’s cuteness, if Jieun was her guardian angel; then Dr Byun was her savior, her hope for a new life.

‘Take a good rest and don’t forget to continue your exercises! I’ll check on you again before your next operation’. Dr Byun excused himself as Hana hugged Jieun out of happiness.

‘Ahhhh, I’m breathless!’ Jieun panted when Hana finally released her.

Hana smiled in reply, ‘Thank you, Jieun’.

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Hana

25 December 2011

Dear Diary,

It’s been a month. The past month has been the worst since I’ve been here for about a year. I’ve never felt fear so deep than the endless darkness that enveloped me for the past month. The only strength that kept me going was the thought of payback. I was so easily replaced, with the excuse that I was not good enough. Now, I will make sure I am irreplaceable. Today’s 25 Decem…

Hana paused as she realized the date. It’s 25^th December.

She stood up and peered over the rooftop railings at the ground below. The streets were filled with people and decorated with Christmas lights. Light Christmas carols could be heard if Hana concentrated.

Hana wrapped her blanket tighter around her as a gust of winter breeze blew. She slouched back down the wall. Hana had never spent 25^th December alone ever since she knew Seomi. Not because it is Christmas but because it is Seomi’s birthday.

Hana looked down at the page in her diary and tore it out. 25^th December was not a day worth recording; she hates the date. Hana folded the torn page into a paper plane before throwing it off the roof. She watched the wind caress the paper plane for a while, before abandoning it and letting it fall down to the ground below. Without a second glance, Hana walked back into her sanctuary for the past year.

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Byun BaekHyun was entering the building, when a gust of cold wind made him shiver. He paused mid step as he noticed the paper plane that was on the ground. Picking it up, he unfolded the plane out of curiosity and as expected, there were words.

‘Hana…’ Baekhyun whispered the name as he glanced up, just in time to see a silhouette turning away on the roof, her long hair billowing in the wind.

‘Ahhh…a patient, I see.’ He carefully folded the paper and placed it in his pocket, before striding in.