“Life is unpredictable”

 

I believed in that.

 

“Life is predictable”

 

I believed in that too.

 

Life is unpredictable in a sense no one can ever tell what will come to you, however it can also be predictable in a sense that you can control how you live thus, making Life a routine.  A choice we select in line with the circumstances we experience. I used to believe in this rule of life but change is inevitable, I am no longer the same.

 

Standing in front of the mirror wishing something different to see but as I said, “wishing”, it is something I ask knowing it is impossible to come true. I sigh as I decided to go out of the room and head down the living room to find my father and brothers walking around in frenzy as they gather the stuff they needed for work, after  that they get a piece of bread in the kitchen and off they go. I wasn’t used to this.

 

Before, we would always find time to be together. We ate our meals together, we laugh, and especially we talk. It is “before”, something in past, something that is already lost, and something you can’t find in present.

 

“Life is unfair”

 

One thing I can say is not only life is unfair, death too, can be.

 

Without any choice, I have fallen into a routine. A routine where I just watch people around all day hoping someone might see me.

 

I go to school like any human of my age, and I like going to one because I can see my special person. Do Kyungsoo, had become the object of the routine I have. I watch him and learn new things about him because somehow I know that he is a key to something locked up in my identity.

 

I follow him all day. And I can say that there is more to him than meets the eye. For example, he sings like an angel, I tell you, his voice is just heavenly. And even though he’s quite short for an average male, he has a very cute face that just shout youthfulness, he’s actually older than me. He also studies in an all boy school, and he’s quite the apple of the eye of the teachers. I know I’ve watched him in his classes, don’t ask how. Also he is seated beside his best friend, Park Chanyeol. But you know what I learned from all the months I have watched other people?

 

It is to know how they feel through their eyes. And I say that what I see in Chanyeol’s, is more than just friendship. But, well however you look, it will remain an opinion until it is proved to be true or false right?

 

 

Anyway Kyungsoo also likes cakes and coffee sold in the café in front of his school. It is a café that holds a very cute but sad love story of a boy sitting at the very corner of the shop. As I tried to learn the place, I instead, learned of a boy that is hopelessly in love in the bubbletea and of a certain regular customer sitting near the door of the café. I gain interest in his story after I saw him drink his bubble tea. His expression changes every now and then first would be dreamy, then happy, then sad, then irritated, and then lastly the expression he has until he goes home, sad. It is his routine, a happy yet sad routine and that routine starts with the sound of the chimes that would indicate an arrival of a new customer particularly someone with a blinding bright smile that he’s waiting for.

 

 

Anyway after the trip to café Kyungsoo will now then go to the library to return and borrow some books. And on the way home he will pass through a soccer field, field that is always occupied by two male having a face I really envy, faces field with smiles like they’re having the best time of their life. The look they had at each other is kind of mutual but yet different. Somewhat of a brotherly love yet somewhere it just doesn’t seem right.

 

 

He also passed by a riverbank where I always see this person sitting throwing rocks at the river. His back profile just screams mystery and loneliness. I somehow feel him. And somehow I always find my eyes on him whenever I passed by, though never really approach him.

 

 

So basically that’s where my day would always end. I will go back to the house welcomed by silence, letting me reflect on life. Life is both unpredictable and predictable. But with me it’s different because death is neither. It’s just about being lonely and restless.

 

 

I wish i could cry but I can't. Well, I am Jung Eun and I am dead by the way. 

 

 

a/n

so here's the the first chapter. i guess there's just a little change though it became shorter. anyways i hope you enjoy :) this time i won't promise anything. please if you have any comments don't be afraid to share it, it would really help me a lot. and warning english is not my mother tongue so i might commit some mistakes and i am very willing to correct it if you see any just tell me.so that's it.

disclaimer: i don't anything but the plot. credits to the rightful owners of the pictures and the layout