Rain Sound

The rainy days were our days.

Because no one else liked them. They became our days.
I never asked you why you would lower your umbrella and look up at the sky. But when you did you always looked so sad. Like you wanted to cry with the heaven. You never told me your problems or your pain. But I wanted to know. I wanted to know everything about you and see everything of you. Because I thought I could help you endure the pain. I hoped I could help you so you could shed the burdens on your shoulders. Even sharing them with me . . . even putting them on me, it would have made me so happy because you would have been able to smile more.
It would have been great if it would have become like that. But soon I noticed that you didn't want to and I wondered why.
I always wondered. And you were the reason.
And because you always looked so sad and lonely, I cried for you. Because you never did.
I smiled for you. Because you never did.
The rainy day became the only days when we felt safe and beloved. Everything was dark and it felt like the whole world understood our conflicts and problems. And after a time I started to wait and crave for these days. It became frustrating.

These days were the only days I saw how you really felt and with ever rainy day I felt my heart shatter a little bit more.

I don't want to see you in pain.
So please. Please share your sorrows and burdens with me. Even If they break me.

I don't care. Because I want to see you happy.
This is how far love can put people. They sacrifice themselves for the one they love until they destroy themselves. After all, a wise author wrote »To love is to destroy«.
I'm destroying myself because I love you.
You're destroying me because you don't love me.
It's a cruel circle that continues and never faces an end.
Will I be able to erase you somehow? I don't know.
I don't know anything when it comes to you.
I wonder if you know what you do to me.
If yes, then you have to be a cruel person for continuing. But it's okay.
I'll forgive you.
Even if you'll never respond my feelings.
I'll forgive you.
Like the dirty streets that are washed away by the rain, my hurt feelings will vanish and disappear and maybe will change into shining stars someday.
That's what I wish for.
I don't want to forget them.
I don't want to forget you.
I don't want to forget the rainy days.
Because on rainy days, I always run into you.