Gluttony walks down the hall at a leisurely pace, a bowl full of freshly picked grapes in his hand. He throws a few into his mouth as he casually observes the paintings that are hanging on the walls. He could never seem to remember the names of the artists no matter how many times Pride told him in that pompous way of his. Da Vinci? Michelangelo? He didn’t know and he didn’t really care honestly; all the paintings were of insignificant humans anyway. The only painting he cared about was the one of the bowl of fruit that hung right next to the door of his room. That one was his favorite.

He reaches the end of the hallway and kicks the double wooden doors open with his foot.

The other six are already there, each sitting on their respective thrones along the wall of the circular room.

“What’s this all about?” he asks as his eyes sweep across the half moon of obnoxiously large chairs.  

“I don’t know,” Sloth yawns. He’s sprawled across his chair, legs hanging over one of the arm rests. He crosses his arms over his chest and leans his head against the back of his throne as he closes his eyes, “They just told us to all be here.”

“A stupid servant woke me up from my nap,” Wrath growls from his seat to the left of Sloth as he drums his fingers against the armrest of his seat, an expression of pure rage etched onto his face.

Gluttony ignores the boy’s mood swings, Wrath was always the most dramatic out of the six of them, and looks around at the others as he walks up the steps to his own throne.

On the far left of the half moon, Lust, of course, is staring at himself in the mirror, fixing stands of hair that aren’t even out of place. Next to Lust, Greed has his eyes glued to a tablet that his resting on his lap; he’s probably on Amazon again, Gluttony guesses. Pride, on the right of Sloth, is sitting up straight with his hands folded in lap, a smug smile on his face for who knows what reason (maybe he won a bet against some servant again?).

Gluttony sighs at their ridiculously typical behavior and throws another grape into his mouth as sits down in his seat between Pride and Envy, who’s seems to be attempting to glare a hole through his head.

“What?” he asks with his mouth half full.

“This isn’t fair,” Envy snarls and looks over at Sloth while pointing a finger at his bowl, “Why does he get to have grapes?! I want grapes too!”

“Ugh, just shut up,” Sloth grumbles and tries to bury himself further into the cushions.

“Here, here, you want some?” Gluttony hastily shoves the bowl of grapes into Envy’s face. But when the latter reaches his hand into the bowl with a smile, he pulls it back quickly and holds it at a taunting distance away from Envy, “Well too bad. You can’t have any.”

Envy huffs and puffs out his chest with an angry pout. A languid smirk appears on Gluttony’s face as he deliberately places a grape in his mouth and munches on it slowly. Gluttony chuckles when Envy’s face turns so red he probably could rival Wrath for last place in the anger management department.

But right before all hell breaks loose, the double doors open and a man dressed in a pin stripe suits walks in.

The seven Vices sit up in their chairs as the man’s shiny dress shoes click against the marble flooring. He stops in the middle of room and looks up at the seven boys.

“So I’m sure you’re all wondering why I called you here,” he says, pushing his glasses up his nose.

“And I’m sure you’re wondering why I haven’t killed you yet,” Wrath mutters under his breath and earns a halfhearted whack on the arm by Sloth.

“Well I have been informed,” the man continues, “that the seven of you have been getting a bit out of hand with your … habits.”

“How so?” Pride asks.

“Well, let’s see,” the man pulls out a small notepad from the pocket inside of his blazer, flips it open, “Lust has apparently broken the hearts of every female in this castle.”

“Well, what can I say? I do have a charm that is irresistible,” Lust shrugs with a playful smile.

“Even the old maids in the kitchen,” he looks up from his notes and raises an eyebrow.

“Like I said, irresistible.”

The man sighs and shakes his head, deciding to leave it at that, “Greed’s possessions have expanded from occupying one room to three…”

“Hey, that’s not that bad!” Greed tilts his head to the side.

“Floors,” the man finishes, “Your junk has taken up three floors worth of rooms in the East wing.”

Greed bites his lip and sinks back into his chair.

“Wrath punched two of the servants.”

“They both deserved it,” Wrath mumbles as he examines his fingernails.

“Sloth refuses to do anything.”

“Hmph,” Sloths grunts in reply.

“We almost lost all of our chefs because Pride was correcting their recipes.”

“I wasn’t correcting them, I was simply making them better,” Pride replies.

“Gluttony is eating all the food before anyone else can even get one serving.”

“There’s no more grapes left,” Gluttony frowns when he turns over the empty bowl over his head.

“And Envy is inducing migraines with his complaining.”

“I’m not complaining,” Envy mumbles, “I’m just pointing out how it’s not fair that everyone just happens to have what I want.”

The man takes off his glasses and rubs his face in frustration, “Well, the seven of you are driving everyone insane with your behaviors. You don’t see the Archangels behaving like this.”

“But, we’re the Seven Vices, the Seven Deadly Sins,” Lust says slowly, “Isn’t this just … what we’re supposed to do?”

“It doesn’t matter if “that’s what you’re supposed to do”. You guys are getting really annoying so the Counsel and I have found a temporary solution that will allow us, along with everyone else in this castle, to at least tolerate the seven of you until we figure something else out.”

The seven boys sit up in their seats and look at the man in curiosity.

“You will each go down to Earth and live with the humans for one week,” the man starts.

“What?!” Wrath screams.

“A whole week? With the humans?” Pride cringes with a look of distaste, “But we’re pretty much gods and they’re, they’re, they’re beneath us.”

“I bet the Archangels don’t have to do this,” Envy mutters.

“You can’t make us do this,” Sloth scoffs, “You can’t make us do anything.”

“But we can,” the man crosses his arms over his chest with a smirk, “A certain person in charge,” he points up with his finger towards the ceiling, “said if you fail to agree to this, He’ll turn strip you all of your immortality.”

Eyes widen and jaws drop as the seven boys stare at each other in horror.

“Not our immortality,” Greed whimpers, “We can’t lose that.”

“Fine, we’ll do it,” Lust announces as he jumps onto his feet.

“We will?” Sloth asks in disbelief.

“Yeah, I mean, it shouldn’t be too bad right?” Lust looks at the others, “We could just hang out for a week, hit the clubs? I hear human girls are very pretty,” he chuckles and nudges Greed with his elbow.

“Oh, you won’t be going together,” the man interjects.

Lust’s shoulders deflate, “But you said –”

“I know what I said,” the man cuts him off, “But we can barely handle the seven of you here. Do you really think we would let you all wreak havoc on Earth together?”

The man pulls out a stack of cards from the inside pocket of his blazer and hands one to each of the Vices.

“You will each go down one by one,” he says, “And these cards will determine the order in which each of you will visit Earth. You can go ahead and look at them.”

They turn the cards over and Pride immediately stands up.

“Seven?!” he yells, “Why did you give me number seven?!”

“It was all random,” the man says evenly.

“YES!” Lust jumps up, “I have number one! I get to go first!”

“He gets to go first?” Pride stares at Lust as he dances while standing on the seat of this throne.

Wrath watches the two argue with annoyance and snaps his head to the side when he sees Greed trying to swipe his number four card out of the corner of his eye. He sends the latter a murderous glare and Greed curls back into his chair, clutching his own card with a number three on it to his chest.

“But I should be going first,” Pride declares, “I deserve to go first more than him.”

“Well, I want to go first more than any of you but we apparently can’t all have our way,” Envy grumbles as he stares down at the number six written on his card.

“Here, you can have mines if it’ll make you shut up,” Sloth groans and holds out his number two card to Pride, “I don’t even want to go down to Earth anyways.”

“Can I eat this?” Gluttony asks as he bites the corner of the card with a number five written on it.

The man sighs, shaking his head as turns his back to the bickering group of boys. But he stops just as he reaches the door and turns back to face the seven Vices.

“Oh, one last thing before I leave,” he says and the boys fall silent, “If at anytime during you time on Earth, you find that you don’t want to return, you always have the choice to stay.” 

“You mean like willingly give up our immortality?” Greed asks and the other six burst into laughter at the sheer absurdity of the statement.

Pride shakes his head with a snort, “Yeah, like that will ever happen.” 

---

A/N: Hello there, reader who actually reads my author's notes! I propose a challenge to you! Go into our inbox on Tumblr not on anonymous and send me which member you think is each Vice! For example, Gluttony is _____, Pride is _____, and so on and so on. For the first seven people to get it right, I will personally dedicate a chapter in this little one shot- not really a one shot collection! It will also privately reply to you, telling you if you got it right or wrong and you can keep trying till you get it right! You guys can also comment with your answer but I would advise putting a spoiler alert or something so others don't read your answer before they get a chance guess. Good luck and thank you so much for reading!!!