Maybe it was time to say our goodbyes, but I didn’t want to. We were standing in the airport, ready for him to leave, but I had no idea what to do when he was gone. Should I just give in and try a new life? He had after all been there most of the time the last 10 years.

 

“I love you…” He whispered in my ear, and I sighed. I melted under his words and the breath in my ear made me want him.

“I know. Go now.” I said softly. Tears were making their ways into my eyes as I knew I wouldn’t see him for a long time. Perhaps, never again.

 

“I will love you every day. No matter how far away I am. I will always love you. Don’t forget me Dae. Don’t forget me…” He whispered to me and tears were now streaming down my face, and every inch of me hurt.

 

“I won’t.” I just answered, because my voice was so broke that I couldn’t say much. He hugged me closer and kissed my neck. I felt warm from his touch, but so cold that I was freezing when he pulled me out of the hug.

 

“When it’s possible, I will visit you.” He said and kissed me with so much passion.

 

“I hope it’s soon.” I answered him and we kissed again. He dried away my tears, but new ones made their way down my cheeks.

 

“I will call you every day.” He said and I nodded. Knew that someday it wouldn’t be true.

 

“Me too.” I answered and he kissed me for the last time. His plane was called and he had to leave.

 

“Goodbye Angel. See you. And remember I love you so much.” He said, carefully letting go of my hand.

 

“Goodbye. I love you too!” I quickly said when he was about to leave. He turned around to look at me as he walked backwards on his way to the gate.

 

“I love you!” He yelled as he stepped in the gate, and waved to me with great enthusiasm.

 

“Goodbye…” I whispered to myself. Now I felt like I was broken. Inside and outside. Everything was dark.

 

I left the airport and went with a cap to my home. Which, had been our home… Now he had gone back to Korea, to help his family. And with his new job, I guessed he didn’t have time to talk to me anymore. When I entered my home, I found the couch, which I didn’t leave the next many hours…

 

When I opened my eyes again, after I fell asleep on the couch, I could hear the phone ringing. When I looked at the caller “SeungHyun <3” I immediately answered the call.

 

“Hi Angel! I just wanted to call and tell you that I landed. I will call you when I have found the right place. I have totally forgotten so much of Korea, and everything, so I will call you when I’m there. Love you!” He said and I didn’t get a word in, before at the end.

 

“Okay. Call me then. I love you too.” I answered and we hung up. I looked out of the window from the 10^th floor here in New York. It had started snowing slightly. A Christmas was coming, and I couldn’t have my only love around.

 

Why wasn’t I gone with him? Because I had my work here, and a contract that said I couldn’t leave the bureau. I was a singer, not very famous, but a singer after all.

 

A few weeks went by and he called me every day as promised. I missed him more and more. At Christmas Eve I was alone, with a present he had sent me from Korea. It was a beautiful ring he had sent me, to remind me of him every day. The winter was a cold time, especially this year, and I had locked myself up in my apartment, to write sad songs about sad love.

 

Winter turned to spring, and I heard less and less from SeungHyun. We tried to keep up the promise and talk every day, but he was busy with everything and I was busy being alone. He suggested me sometimes that I should go and see other people. And one day, that happened.

 

“Oh My God!” A voice said from behind. I turned around and watched this odd person, looking through some shirt on a stand, he had pink hair and looked Korean. He was clearly talking to the clothes, and not to me. He pulled some ugly shirt out and looked disgusted.

 

“How can they even sell this stuff?” He asked and looked at me, like he was asking me. I shrugged and he looked away again, like he had heard what he wanted.

 

“Excuse me. But are you not the singer? DaeSung?” He asked and I nodded. Not really used to people recognizing me, but since he was clearly Korean as well, I could imagine he knew me.

“Yeah, I can’t really say I’m not.” I answered and faked a smile. He was clearly living here as well, I could tell on his English.

 

“Cool.” He answered and I just smiled. I turned around to leave, but he said something more.

 

“I could use some coffee. Wanna join?” He asked and I looked around to face him.

 

“Okay, I could use some.” I answered and he smiled. We went out of the clothing area, to find a small coffee shop, where there only was an elder married couple having their coffee, reading each their own paper. We sat down and ordered coffee.

 

“So, I heard you had a new album coming up soon. How is it?” He asked me and I smiled.

 

“It’s sad, but I hope it will be good.” I answered.  He nodded and took the coffee the waiter came with, and I did the same.

 

“What is your name?” I asked, and he laughed a bit, remembering that he hadn’t told his name.

 

“I’m JiYong. Kwon JiYong.” He said, and I nodded as I sipped from my coffee.

 

“What do you do for a living?” I asked and he smiled lightly. After drinking some of his coffee, he answered.

 

“I’m a lawyer.” He answered, and looked nothing like a lawyer at all.

 

“Okay. So do you got any cases now?” I asked and he smiled.

 

“I can’t tell you about them, but yes I do.” He answered and I knew he had no rights to speak of them in public.

 

“It’s okay. Are you a good lawyer then?” I said like a tease.

 

“Of course. I’m Asian.” He teased back. We laughed and had more coffee as we small talked.

 

I arrived home to my apartment, after a nice day in the company of Kwon JiYong. We had exchanged numbers, so we could keep in touch. It had been a week or so since we last talked, when he called me.

 

“Hi it’s JiYong. Hey, I got a friend who wants to meet you? Sorry, I talk too much sometimes, but he’s gay too and wants to meet you. Just to talk.” He said and I looked surprised.

 

“Thanks, well, give him my number and say he can call me any time.” I said and we bid our goodbyes.

 

A day or so later, my phone rang. I thought it was SeungHyun, but when I picked up I heard a strange voice.

 

“Hi.” He said and I answered with my name.

 

“I’m TaeYang. I wanted to know if you wanted to go out? Just like friends, no date.” He asked, and I smiled with the happy thought of getting to know someone.

 

“Yeah it sounds nice. When and where?” I asked.

 

“What about a movie and some dinner?” He said and I agreed with him. To meet at 6 pm tomorrow. When I hung up, I looked around for the best outfit I could. I didn’t want to be too good looking, so I would choose something more calm.

 

“Hi Angel.” SeungHyun said when he called me later that night. I had heard from him 3 times in this past two weeks.

 

“Hi, how are you?” I asked, and I smiled when I could hear him smile.

 

“I’m sad that I’m not with you, and I miss you like crazy. Plus I love you.” He said, and it sounded more like a tease than an actual statement.

 

“I miss you too.” I answered and told him everything about JiYong, or what I knew of him.

 

“I’m happy to hear you finally have moved a little on, and try to meet someone.” He answered and I smiled and nodded.

“Yeah...” I answered and we talked a bit more, and then he had to go.

 

The next day I went to the restaurant which TaeYang and I had ordered a table at. He was there first, but I had never seen him before, so I didn’t know how he looked like.

 

“DaeSung? It’s me. TaeYang.” A man with a Mohawk told me.

 

“Hi.” I said and blushed slightly, from the obvious good looking man. Suddenly I became all shy and didn’t know what to do.

 

“Come inside.” He said and we went inside, got our table and sat down.

 

“So, what are we going to watch afterwards?” I asked, since I had told him to take care of the tickets to the movie. And I had said he could choose.

 

“Surprise.” He teased and I laughed slightly.

 

“Okay, it better be good.” I teased back and we laughed. We enjoyed each other’s company and ate delicious food. After that we ended up going arm in arm to the movies, and watched this really nice romantic comedy.

 

“Thanks for a lovely evening. Let’s do it again soon.” He said and I agreed. After we gave each other a hug at my front door, he kissed my cheek and I went inside. I could have jumped of happiness. But I don’t know why.

 

Spring went around and turned to summer, turned to fall and then winter.

 

TaeYang and I had spent so much time together, that we had become quite inseparable. I had almost forgotten all about SeungHyun at times, when he didn’t call.

We had become so close, that we had become some sort of boyfriends.

 

“Angel! I’m home!” SeungHyun yelled through the hall from the door as he closed it after him. I jumped from my bed, which I had been comfortable in, until this wake-up.

 

“What?” I asked myself and TaeYang jumped up too.

 

“Is that your boyfriend?” He whispered loudly and quickly got his clothes on, like I was.

 

“Yes, but I didn’t know he would come back so early.” I said and then I could hear the footsteps come closer.

 

“Damn…” I said and that was when SeungHyun opened the door. His mouth dropped and my eyes widened in fear.

 

“Who are you?” SeungHyun asked and TaeYang looked confused.

 

“It doesn’t matter.” I answered for him. TaeYang quickly took his stuff and went out the door.

 

“I thought we agreed to wait for each other?” SeungHyun asked confused and sat down on the bed.

 

“I wanted to, I really did, but I was so lonely. Please SeungHyun… I’m sorry.” I said and sat down in front of him, kneeling down so I could look at him in the eyes.

 

“Dae.. Why?” He asked me, and I sighed by defeat.

 

“I thought you were gone for good. And that I would never see you again.” I answered and looked down, but he made me look up again.

 

“I promised to come back. And here I am. I thought we were meant for each other. But clearly not.” He said and I cried a bit, not wanting to, but I did.

 

“After a year or so, you come back, and tell me that we aren’t meant for each other. If not, why did you come back?” I asked and he sighed. He dried my cheeks and eyes.

 

“I thought we were, until I saw that guy in our bed. I’m sorry Dae…” He said, and got up. I got up too and took his hand.

 

“Saranghae…” I whispered and he turned around to kiss me. Our lips melted together. It felt so right and yet so wrong.

 

“I love you too…” He answered me, and I could feel his arms around me. He pulled me close and inhaled my scent. This happened so quickly, but even though I found together with SeungHyun again. I missed TaeYang every day, though we had a bit of contact a few times a month that was not enough for me. But for SeungHyun’s sake, I didn’t involved with him anymore.

 

Did I choose right or wrong? I found the guy I loved after a year again, but I quitted the guy that seemed so right for the sake of the other…