I came back after years of staying in my hometown, California.

I walk down the Incheon Internatrional Airport and found my friends waving at me. They ran into me and greeted me with hugs and kisses.

She's the last to walk towards me. We looked at each other for a while when I felt her arms wrapped on my waist.

"Sergeant Sica!" She said after breaking the hug.

Then I saw her girlfriend, Yoona, went beside her and held her hand.

"Unnie~ let's go now. The two shikshins are already hungry~~" she whined while rubbing her growling tummy.

I chuckled at her action. Still the Im Choding that I know. She never changed except for the fact that she's more beautiful now. I won't wonder why Yuri loves her so much.

"Leggo!" said by the number one shikshin in our group. She brought my luggages then we head to the van.

*

We decided to go back to our dorm since we haven't visited that place for a long time. We shared our own money to buy the place because that's where our friendship started. It's also the place where I develop my feelings towards the girl I love up to now.. Yuri. I'm just stupid to not realize it sooner..

I have been chosen to cook for them saying that it's my punishment for leaving them even though I told them that I was going back to Cali. -.-

"Yah! What'd you guys think I do there? Learn how to cook? I.. I don't know how to cook up to now and besides, I'm tired." I closed my eyes and pretend to sleep to avoid their stares and reasons. They shook me hard until I get dizzy.

"Kyaaa!" I let them hear my "dolphin scream".

"Oh my God what the hell, Sica! I think my ear drums had just been broken!" TaeTae said while rubbing her ears.

"I told you I don't want to cook and even if I want to, I don't know how." I tried to reason out.

I saw Yuri stood up from Yoona's lap as she walks towards me and offered me her hand.

"C'mon. I'll go with you. Let's cook together..just like the old times. You know they won't stop until you agree with them."

I gave her my icy glare but she just smirks. What the?

"Sica, you know that won't work for me. C'mon before I changed my mind."

Knowing that she's right, I take her hand then I stood up.

*

How do I cut the vegetables?

I'm too shy to ask her help because she's been doing all the cooking. This is the only thing that I'll distribute.

My mind drifted off to somewhere while I'm doing my task.

Did she really loved me?

How come she move on so fast?

Do I still have the special place in her heart?

Does she really love Yoona the way she loves me..before?

What could've happen if I didn't leave before?

Is there still a chance for us?

"Sica!"

I jolted from my seat and looked at the girl who just screamed.

"Oh my God, Sica.. You're bleeding." 

I didn't even realize the cut I've gotten from cutting the vegetables. My finger is bleeding and what made me startled more is when Yuri put my bleeding finger in her own mouth and gently sip it. I can't help but stare at her while she's doing it because her face is so close to mine.

"Don't look at me like that, Sica.. I might misunderstood it as you falling in love with me." she chuckled.

You didn't misunderstood it, Yul.. I love you just like how you loved me before..

I looked away to hide my blushing cheeks and and gently pulled away my hand from her.

"Can you give us a chance?" I unconciously asked.

"Sica? What is it?" she confusedly looked at me.

"N-nothing. I'm sorry I can't help you to cook. I have to clean this wound before it gets infected. It's better to be early so in the end, we won't regret anything."

"Woah Sica, being deep today, huh? Tell me, what did America do to you, huh?" she teased me and show me those playful smile.

"I just realized some things while I'm away with you..guys." I start to walk towards my room.

"Hey! Let me help you." I saw her washing her hand and ready to get the medicine kit.

"No t-thanks.. I can handle this myself."

"You sure?"

I nodded and head to my room which used to be our room.

Used to be..

I sat at the edge of the bed and stare at my wound for a while. I hope the hurt I'm feeling is as simple as this.. I hope that the hurt I'm feeling right now is bearable. I didn't know that when I see her with Yoona, it will hurt so much.. So much that I would want to ran away..again. But I'm much stronger now. I'm not the Jessica Jung who's so weak and coward. I'm not the Jessica Jung who rans away from all the problems and leave everyone behind..

I put the medicine kit on the bedside table after I disinfect my wound. I lay on the bed that we used to sleep together from before.

I closed my eyes and remember our past.

*Flashback*

I'm playing with my iPad when I saw my bestfriend, Yuri, slowly entering the door. I felt like all my energy is back from all the schedules I attended today.

"Seobang~!" I used to call her that because she acts like one whenever we're together.

"Hey Sica baby~ how's your day?" she asked while taking off her coat revealing her see-through shirt.

I gulped at the scene. My seobang is really y~

"I'm bored~~ What took you so long?" I showed her my cute pout. Well, she says it's cute.

"Mianhae.. It's traffic because there's an accident on my way home. Don't you play with other members?"

"They're busy with each other~"

"Aw.. My poor Sica baby. Don't you worry. I'm here now. We can play." she said and sat beside me.

"Hey.. What's up with that?" she asked while pointing her lips towards the iPad that I am holding.

"Oh this.. I'm playing with my fans here at Weibo. I'm actually answering all their questions."

"I'm here now. Don't you wanna play with me?" then she pouted.

I find it really cute that I just have to take a picture of her and post it on my Weibo account.

"Wait there. I'll just tell them I will be logging out."

I posted the picture with a caption of "Goodbye for now fans. My seobang is already here~~~! She said she's jealous because I'm playing with you guys instead of her~~ She's so cute, don't you think so? Keke~~~ but she's mine! So back off for those who's planning on stealing her from me. *merong* bye~bye! <3 yulsic ^^"

After I posted, I turned off my iPad and starts to tickle her.

"Yaaah! Jung Sooyeon!" I started to run around the room while she's trying to catch me.

I bumped my toe in one of the table that made me fall on the floor with her above me.

It's really awkward because our face is so close to each other and my heart is pounding because of the sudden contact.

She closed her eyes and I did the same when I felt her lips slowly brushing into mine. It was a soft kiss until she decided to deepen our kiss by slipping her tongue into my mouth. I got back into my senses when I felt her hand inside my shirt. I didn't know what to do so I pushed her away and tried to stand on my now shaking legs. I was about to go out of our room when she held my wrist.

"Sica.." I heard her softly call my name.

I tried to take my wrist away from her but she just held on it tighter.

"Let go."

But she never heard anything. Instead, she pinned me on the wall so I can face her.

"Sica.. Look at me." I gave up and looked at her..Her happy eyes a while ago is now full of sadness and hurt.. What have I done?

"Sica.. I love you. Not just a bestfriend or a sister. I love you more than that. I didn't know when this started but I know that I felt something different whenever you are with me. I am waiting for the right time to confess to you but I guess I can't wait that long since I already kissed you. I'm sorry for doing that to you Sica. I didn't even think if you'll get mad or what.. I even stole your first kiss. I'm really sorry but I just want you to know that I love you so much. If you ever accept my love for you, I promise to take care of you and love you as long as we live." she looked at me with hopeful eyes.

"You don't have to answer right now. I just want to say it to you because I can't hold it any longer.. Saranghae, Jung Sooyeon."

I was shocked at her confession. I didn't expect this to happen. Oh no.. What to do? I'm not ready for this. How about our career? How will the others react if they knew about this? I am not even sure of what I feel towards her. I'm so sorry, Yuri.. I can't accept your love right now.

I got out of the room and ran away form our dorm. Since it's already midnight, there are no other people in the park so I just stayed there. My mind keeps on repeating what happened earlier.

No. This is wrong. Eveything she said is a mistake. Maybe she's just mistaken her love for me because we're the closest among other members. We both need time. Time to think.. Time to confirm our feelings.. I just hope you wait for me, Yuri.

*Flashback ends*

I came back to reality when I heard a knock on the door.

"Unnie~"

"Come in.."

I saw Yoona and I can't help but admire her beauty. I don't find any reason for Yuri not to like her.

"Are you okay unnie? Yul told me that you cut yourself a while ago. Mianhae~ we shouldm't have forced you to cook." then she looked down.

"Oh.. It's nothing, Yoong. I'm okay. Don't worry." I weakly smiled at her.

"Are you sure unnie? You know we're always her for you so you don't have to hide anything. We're a family, remember? I know there's something that's bothering you. I'm here unnie if you need a shoulder to cry on or you need someone to talk to."

"Thank you, Yoongie. I'm just glad that Yuri is y-yours.. I know she'll be happy in your care." I tried my best to hide my tears.

I saw her eyes shine hearing her lovers name.

Oh, didn't I tell you that only some of my members know what happened between Yuri and I? Particulary the kid leader, Fany, and Soo. We hide it becausewe dont want others to worry.

"Of course, unnie! I will take care of her and make her the happiest girl alive. I'm just glad that she open her heart again. She even told me before that she was dumped by someone. I think the person is too dumb to turn down Yuri. I mean, what more can you ask for? She's the perfect girlfriend inside and out. But I'm still thankful because if that person didn't turn down Yuri, we won't be together today."

We were interrupted when Yuri popped her head inside of our used to be our room.

"Hey you two, let's go now. Dinner is ready!"

*

I checked the time, 3AM.

My eyes won't even close for a minute so I quietly got out of the bed not wanting to wake the others up. We decided to sleep in one room with others sleeping on the floor.

I head to the kitchen to drink some milk.

On my mind is all about Yoona and Yuri.

What would happen now if I didn't refuse her love?

What would happen now if I just didn't leave after we ended our contract with our company?

Would I be the one that Yuri would cuddle to?

Would I be the one who's going to take care of her and feed her?

Would I be the one who'll be able to kiss her lips in front of others?

Would it be my arms that she'll be sleeping at night?

How foolish of me not to realize what I really feel for her. Everything's too late now..

I was startled when I felt someone gently wiped the tears away. I looked up and saw Fany sadly showed me her eye smile with her girlfriend, Taeyeon, behind her.

I wiped my tears with my own hands and tried my best to smile.

"Hey.. Why aren't you two sleeping? Did you do something naughty?" I joked.

"You byun. We never really slept. We planned to wake you up and talk to you when others are all sleeping but since you're already awake, we just followed you." Tae explained.

"Okay. So what is it that you want to talk about?"

"It's between you and Yuri." Fany said while they take a seat beside me.

"What about us? I mean.. what about Yuri and I?"

"You babo! We really know the reason why you came back here."

"Yah! If you guys are just going to call me byun and babo, better go back to sleep. Of course I came back here because I missed you guys." I tried to play innnocently.

"You may fool other but not us, Sooyeon." the kid leader said.

"Jessi.. Tell me. What's the real reason why you came back?" Fany asked as she held the back of my hand.

I guess there's no point of hiding my real intention why I came back here.. Besides, they're the one who could understand me and my situation really well.

"I-I came back because of Yuri.."

I looked down before I continued.

"I came back because I realized how much I loved her and how each day kills me knowing that I'm miles away from her. When I came back here, all I ever hope is that if she sees me again, she will leave Yoona and chose me over her. Don't get me wrong. I have no hard feelings towards our dongsaeng but I just hope that I'll be the one who's on her position right now. How foolish of me.. How bad I am to think of them that way. How stupid of me to hope for something bad to happen at them.. I'm so selfish.. Even before, I never think of anyone but only myself.."

I continued while sobbing..

"And a while ago, I realized how lucky Yuri is to have Yoona as her girlfriend and not me. I saw how Yoona treated her as her princess. I saw how she took care of Yuri. Even feeding her and cutting the foods for her.. And before she sleeps, she made sure to let Yuri sleep first before she drifts off to sleep."

I looked at them and sadly smiled.

"And the moment that breaks my heart is when Yuri approached me like nothing really happened. That she already forgot that she once loved me.. How she treats me well even after I dumped her. It made me lose my hope. It made me realized that she's happy now and she already moved on while I'm still here.. Still here where she last left me. And I'm not even planning to move. I guess it's my destiny.. I feel sorry for myself. I'm ashamed of myself.. I tried my best to be happy for them but I just can't. It even hurts a million times seeing them contented and happy in person.."

I felt two pairs of arms hugging me tight.. I can't help but to cry more and let my tears fall..

"We were so happy before.. But because of my foolishness, I lost her."

" I almost had her..ALMOST."

END~

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byeee~! ^^