Note: This chapter contains some strong words. Very strong and violent words. However they will be censored with *.                  

               Nutty and the slightest taste of bitterness. That was the taste that was in my mouth yesterday. The feeling of being stupid. The feeling of regrets. Oh I would do anything to remove this taste and to replace it ith a taste of sweetness now. But, this would scar me for life forever. I can't believe I made the most supid mistake ever! I hate myself for pulling myself away from my other part. Kim Namjoon. He is the one guy who completes my soul in every way. I split with him because he had done something that made me so angry. I bet I am going to see him today, for his apologies. 

               I remember yesterday, it was so clear in my mind. It was about that I saw him at a club when I was shopping at the grocery store. But at the club, he was doing what he did best: rapping. He was so good at it, I called him Rap Monster. But back to my story. He was cursing out words like: b***h, s**t, and f**k. I did not like hearing that come out of his mouth it made me very angry. Even though I was loitering or lingering there, I stayed too long. He was with other girls and touching them.  I was so disappointed. I ran to a nearby convenience store and went to the restroom to cry in. I was so angry. After I settled down after 15 min. in the restroom, I left and bought some ice cream and went to go to the grocery store. 

             When I reached the parking lot of the supermarket, there was couple. The girl was hitting her boyfriend and crying. And they were fighting and yelling in public. Soon the guy left her, and I walked over to her. "Hey there, um why are uh, sad? Did your boyfriend do something or cheat on you?" I asked. She was crying while nodding. "I completely understand you. I just saw my boyfriend in a club rapping. Which is what he does best, so I don't care about that but he was making physical contact with some other girls." I was so frustrated so I just let it all out and we were able to talk through each other's problems. Soon I actually bought something and coincedentally, on the way home, guess who I saw?  

            "Hey, jagiya." Yes, it was him. "Hi, yeobo. I don't like to be straight forward about most things but, WHY DID I SEE YOU IN A CLUB CURSING EVERY SINGLE BAD WORD IMAGINABE RAPPING WITH AND DANCING WITH OTHER LADIES, WHILE I GO SHOPPING FOR OUR FOOD. WHAT KIND OF PERSON ARE YOU? ARE YOU A F**KIN' CLUB ADDICT. WHAT HAPPENED, TO COOL GUY WHO'S ALWAYS SO COOL FOR HIS GIRL. HUH? WHERE. EXPLAIN YOURSELF OR I'M GONNA LEAVE YOU!" He replied and looked at me furiously, "You think you some bossy b***h who could just f**kin' mess with me. I needed some time to get rid of my s**tty feeling of pain at a club. I feel tired, okay. You know what, if you can't live with this, let's just leave." I replied with a poker face and a tinge of disgust, "Fine, if I knew you were going to be a douche about this, I would've hadn't date you in the first place. Buh-Bye~" And I left like a boss..

          At that time I was proud for walking away like that, but I am now filled with regrets. I even cut myself a few times. But the pain never went away. Today as I woke up from bed, I checked my phone. 20 missed texts and 17  missed calls. Some were from a few besties and friends and such, but majority was from him. I read all of them. Some of them went like:

- I miss you so much. I am so sorry for doing all those things and the things I said. I didn't mean it. If I really meant it, I wouldn't have sent you this. Please, those words just spilled out of mouth because of anger. I am sorry, I am a rapper as you know. But my agent told me this place would give me more than my usual pay. I accepted it and it came with a few negative points. It was my job. But because of yesterday, I put it in your bank account. 

         And the list goes on forever about what he said with an apologetic tone in his texts. And his calls. The more sooner they came, the more teary he got. He really did love me, and as for his tight spot, I forgot to understand the hardships for his life career. I checked my account seeing how much he put in. His usual pay is around $50-$120 (American Currency), my account had $500! He really did get more pay. But for some reason, there is a part of me feeling doubt or missing. I don't understand it. As I got out of my bed I went to go text him.

Me- Hey, um can we meet somewhere to officially explain to me? 

Him- ....sure. How about the park? In 15 minutes.

Me- ok, see u

Him- um, yea

         And that was just about our conversation. I went out and put on a black beret, braided my hair, had my front bangs settled as they wish, I wore a red velvet collared dress, cute cat stockings, cute sneakers and had a cute clutch. I soon had headed out the door, it was a cloudy day but I didn't expect too much out of it. Instead came rain. Wow, what a perfect day. I soon went to a bench in the park in a clearing and the next thing I know is I feel a drop of water on my hand. Soon it begins sprinkling. I still sat there. A few sprinkles weren't going to damage me anymore. Soon, the sprinkling took a change in force and began pouring. I went over to the nearest building and sat in the corner. Good thing I wore stockings. They weren't the warmest, but better than bare skin.

         As I was waiting a guy in sunglasses, a leather jacket, an umbrella, with jeans, and converse holding a box of cake, and flowers with an umbrella came towards me. He saw me and came jogging over. "Oh my, you didn't dress very well. Did you?" he asked. I shook my head. He gave the flowers to me and said, "Jagi, I am sorry. As I was saying those things, my heart was falling. But my mind had so much logical explaining for you with fury. All I could do was sit and watch as my mouth exploded with those painful words towards your fuming face with confusion. I am truly and dearly sorry. Will you forgive me?" I nodded. We stayed under that area eating cake and sitting untill the rain had ended. Which was like  3 hours. 

         We began walking hand in hand towards our favorite burger place. Rap Mon asked, "So what'd yu drink or eat yesterday?" "Me, I had an cappucino. The whole time. It hurted me to drink that. It was nutty and had that overly sweet taste. But it got addicting." I answered back. He replied, "Promise me you will never drink that again without me." "What drink?" I reply. " Rap Monster sad finally, "Never ever drink that without me. A Cappucino."

Do you guys like my stories? I've never quite experienced full rejection or true love or s**t like that. Yes I curse too. But if you feel something's missing, comment below. Is it felt with true emotion. I wouldn't know.