What good is crying? I'm pretty sure that it did nothing but make my eyes puffy and my throat hurt. The weekend had come and gone; the Warrior Begins concert coming to a close. Thankfully, BAP was still in Japan, but they wouldn't be forever. Tears prickled my eyes again as I peered over my books, studying for my final exams.

   "Stupid tears," I blubbered. "Stupid eyes."

  I looked over to my phone which sat parallel to my calculator ironically searching for it to calm me. It awoke at the tap of my finger, the numbers 48:00:00 flashing on the screen accompanied by a chime that haunted me even in my sleep. Two days ago it had been sent to me in an animated message by Someone who is thoughtful enough to warn you. Sunday dinner with my family was ruined by that foolishness and now my parents were frantic trying to find this lunatic before the countdown hit zero.. I don't know how many times I had texted the number asking for hints, needing to understand just what the hell my life had become; there was no way I could tell my mom and dad that I was pregnant with how they were acting already, constantly on edge, pretty much forbidding me to go home to my apartment until this is settled. Sometime over the course of the last few hours, the numbers ticking away lost their power to scare me. I looked at it with a sick sort of anticipation as if waiting for a movie to come out. After calculating the countdown I noticed that it was scheduled to end at 3:00 PM on the 4th, the next date for BAP's concert in Japan. I briefly wondered how it was all related, then abandoned the train of thought when I remembered that this was some psycho sasaeng fan I was dealing with.

   "I just want it to be over, don't you?" My hands rested over my belly lightly. "Don't you just want this all to happen already so we can see your Daddy?"

  Maybe he was nodding, the little one inside my belly. Somehow, I had the sense that it was a boy; something about the baby seemed masculine every time I thought about the life growing inside me. I still couldn't believe it really. Abortion was, of course, not an option. I refused to use that way out and have my boyfriend hate me forever, especially now that I had already gotten used to the idea of company. 

   My head hit the page I had been trying--and failing--to read for the past 10 minutes. "When did I become this stupid.....and lonely? Is it you affecting me? Is it you wanting to know who he is?" I rubbed circles over my belly at each side of my navel. "He's a wonderful man. I think he'll love you....but I'm not sure how long we will be sticking around. I know that he'll want you, you're his own flesh and blood and kids are his weakness, but I'm not so sure how he'll think about me. I don't want him to feel forced, baby. I don't want him to be upset with me....I haven't even met his family yet."

  I spent the whole night talking into the open air having laid on my bed after my back began to hurt, telling the story of how we met to the person inside me who may or may not have been listening. Even so, he didn't interrupt me up, allowing me to talk out  my deepest fears of being exposed and tortured by the rest of the fandom, of not being liked by Yongguk's family, of not meeting his standards.... With dry eyes, I poured out my soul, somewhere between here and there falling asleep just to be awoken by the brass introduction to Bow Wow blaring at 9 that night. The number was logged as a private one which pulled my lips into a frown.

   "Yoboseyo?"

​   "."

   A sliver of ice slid down my spine at the pure malice wrapped in that in that one word. "Who the hell is this?"

   "Someone who is a ing genius in comparison to you," the girl spat. "Who the hell do you think you are?"

  I sighed. This was something could deal with; catty girls never intimidated me.

   "I think I'm you-know-who's girlfriend," I replied, rubbing my eyes. "It would be smart of you to leave us alone before I get the police involved."

   The girl giggled, "The police? You really think that they can catch me? You must think I'm an idiot."

   "Actually, yes I do.  Not only are you trying to ruin a your dear oppa's happiness, but you're on the phone with me, letting me know how you sound and making it easier to pick out who you are. I didn't think it would be this easy," I bluffed. "I also had no idea you had it in you to do something so selfish. Not a girl like you...."

  Take the bait, I urged. Take the bait!

   "A girl like me?" Her laugh echoed through the phone. "You don't know me at all. And you want to talk about selfish? I was going to let you be. I thought it was tolerable that you got your time with him on that TV show, but you went back for seconds like the greedy you are. You couldn't leave well enough alone even though when I met you I thought that you weren't a complete idiot who would try to overstep her boundaries."

  My brows furrowed. "Look--"

   "Yah! He's not yours!" Her voice had risen to a loud cry. "He's not yours; he belongs to all of us and the second you decided that you owned him just cause you got your 15 minutes of fame you made the entire fandom your enemy. I don't know what made you think that this was gonna be a walk in the goddamn park, but I'm going to show you just how scary we can be!"

   I sat up. "Hey!"

   "Shut up! Just wait until that clock hits zero. Then you'll know your place."

  I opened my mouth to speak again but she pretty much threw her phone down on the base, ending the call. 

  ...Ok, maybe now I was scared again.

   "I'm so sorry, Min. Oh my god...." Nana bit her nails frantically and I slapped her hand from .

   "Relax," I insisted. "I don't hate you for it, but it does explain a lot."

   "I'd say!" she replied, gesturing at the bump under my shirt. "I just thought you were getting fat."

   "Everybody thinks I'm just getting fat." I laughed. "But my mother thinks of it a a need for me to find comfort in food."

  She laughed with me and just like that it was as if we had never been at odds with each other. Our conversation flowed smoothly from there with me updating her on what my father had accomplished in stopping my stalker and the weird conversation we had had the night before. My phone was still ticking down from 25:12:38 between us when she finally flipped it face down with a shudder.

   "You really do need to stay at your Mom's place, especially now that you have to protect your little package." She sipped idly at her smoothie. "Its kind of creepy knowing that this can be any of these es walking around campus."

   I took a drink from my own cup, looking around at the moderate crowd of the cafe. "I know, but Dejang thinks that she won't show now that I know how she sounds since it would be too easy to spot her so don't just go around calling people es."

  Nan shrugged, as if to say Meh, es are es. I smiled at her warmly. After a while of just sitting there bouncing baby names off each other, we head back to class, dragging our feet somewhat. The chattering and stressing that comes with the month of December and the subsequent exams worked to calm my nerves and take my mind off of the craziness that had become my life.

  Just before my last class I sat on the stairs inside the empty auditorium my mouth curving into a soft smile as I snap a selca to send to my beau. He texted me almost immediately afterward with a selca of his own, a gentle bend of his lips softening his whole face. His half lidded eyes showed of the sleep he wasn't getting despite the makeup that had been applied, giving him an air of vulnerability. I thought about you all day, the caption read, making me all tingly inside. This one was another keeper so I saved it to my memory card, grinning like an idiot.

  Suddenly my phone chimed. New message.

  Dear Choi Minhee-shi,

Its almost time to have our fun.

Are you watching the time?

I'm so excited that I'll give you a sneak peek. 

Enjoy~

Signed,

Someone who is about to end you

  My chest clenched painfully I read the countdown. 22:15:33

The device in my hand chimed once more with a mass text sent to everyone who had subscribed to the university's news bulletin feed.

Choi Minhee has the most intriguing pictures on her phone. Ask her where she got them, if you're interested.

Attached was one of the pictures I had taken the first time Yongguk took me to the movies; I had needed to take a bathroom break and when I came back, he was sitting on the stairs looking like a lost child until he saw me and gave a blinding smile so full of adoration that I had to take a picture.

That....was not for other people to see. That was my moment. That was an intimate glance meant only for me.

But now....now I was sharing it with the whole school.