Final
Soundless Voice
[ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDCEoMIUTFA ] Listen to this when reading the story~ Thank you!
Practice had just ended and I told the hyungs that i was going back first. They didn't mind and I threw on my winter gear, stepping out onto the street. The town was covered in a white pure blanket of snow. I held out my hand, capturing a snowflake as it melted in my warm palm. Memories flooded my mind and I looked to my side.
Your smiling face as you played with the fresh snow that lay on the pavement. You would scribble my name and yours onto it, drawing a heart around both names. I sighed as the image of you faded. The memories pierced through my skull like a sharp knife and I fell to my knees. Warm tears leaked from my eyes as my hand clenched into a fist. They dropped onto the snow, freezing immediately. What I would do to hear you call my name. Your voice rings in ears and my hands went to cover them. You're not here anymore. It's not fair. Why did you leave me alone?
"Channie ah! Come on out!" you yelled and I chuckled, sneaking out of the dance studio, donned in my winter outfit. You grinned childishly at me before pointing at the drawing on the ground.
"Do you like it?" I glanced at it, feeling the blood rush to my face. It was my name and yours in a heart and I quickly cleared my throat before nodding at you. You smiled brightly, and it seemed to brighten up the dark night. You held my hand and I smiled taking the lead. We walked to the traffic light and you let go of my hand to press the button. A sudden rush of cold filled it's place and I quickly dropped my hand. I watched as you glared the red traffic light, trying to change it. I smiled at your childish attempts.
"Hey Chan ah. If I get hurt, you won't leave me right?" you asked suddenly, turning to face me. My eyes widened at your question and I approached you, embracing your small figure.
"I would never leave you," I replied and felt your arms wrap around me. I sighed contently, untangling myself from you and stepped back as the light turned green. You gasped happily and ran forward. You stopped in the middle of the road and turned to face me.
"Come on Channie!" you called out sweetly and I took a step forward. A flash of blue. A silent kill. Blood splattered everywhere. I ran to your side, holding your fragile body in my arms. The cars had stopped to witness the scene as I held you with tears streaming from my eyes.
"Say something. Please." I croaked, my warm tears falling on your scarf. A groan from you caught my attention. You turned your brown eyes to face me. They were fading as you gave me a weak smile. I let out a relieved sigh, hugging you to my chest gently.
"Say something please," I begged, pulling away from the hug. You smiled at me for the last time, your mouth opening to say something. The dim shimmer in your eyes faded as they became unfocused. Blank. My eyes widened and my breath quickened as I shook your body which was turning cold.
"Wake up. Wake up please!" I yelled desperately to your still body. A single tear drop slipped from your left eye and I gave up, burying my head in your bloodied chest. Time seemed to stop as I held you close, hoping this was all a dream. The quiet snow continued to fall as I prayed for your awakening.
My tears stopped flowing as I stared at your dim eyes.
"Please...wake up.." I whispered. "I love you..."
The world came back to life as Doyoon pulled me away from you, handing over your delicate body to the medic. I knew nothing could be done but I continued to stare as they tried to bring you back to life. Jihoon placed a hand on my shoulder but i remained motionless as they placed you in the ambulance. The white vehicle drove away from me and Jihoon pulled me to my feet.
I looked at my outfit which was drenched in your blood. The metallic smell reached my nose faintly as the white snow landed on it, soaking up the red liquid. I looked up at the dark sky, watching as the white specks fell gently and wished for them to take me away. To bring me to you. We spent to little time together. I could never say the words I wanted to say. It's all over now. 6 years worth of friendship and love has dissapeared right in front of my own eyes. I didn't want to live in a world without you.
I would rather die than be without you. I love you and even that cannot be said. Our era together is about to close forever and I can't stop it. Even if I shout, I know I can't get you or your voice back. No matter how much I miss you.
The boys pushed me forward and I found myself back in my room. I stared out the window, watching the snow as it fell onto the strangers below. I wanted the snow to take me. My voice. My soul. Erase everything until all becomes white.
Soonyoung patted my shoulder and I looked up to meet the worrying eyes of my members. I smiled, wiping the frozen tears from my face and continued walking forward. They didn't catch up with me, only walking behind me. It has been 4 years since the incident and I still smell your scent on the scarf that the nurse handed me. I patted the accessory which sat snugly on my shoulders and sighed.
I stopped. Looking up at the snow.
"Just take me away already," I muttered, my chapped lips before continuing my way. I took a detour, heading to the cemetery. I stopped in front of your grave. Dusting away the snow, I looked at your name. An image of your smiling face popped into my head and I bit my lip to stop myself from crying. I reached into my pocket, pulling out a small box. The clasp opened easily and I took a final look inside. The ring was still in perfect condition. Ever since the day I bought it which was 4 years ago.
I shut the box, placing it on the centre of your grave along with a white rose.
"I miss you so much. I promised myself that 4 years from then, that I would ask you out. But since that can't happen, I'll just give you the ring I planned to give you. I love you and nothing will change that. "
A white figure above the grave, watched as the 18 year old Chan walk away and she swooped down to retrieve the box. She opened the clasp and gasped at the beautiful ring that lay snug in the velvet. Her eyes went up to watch his figure disappearing into the thick snow and followed him.
Chan turned the corner, only to stop in surprise. His hand went to his mouth and he fell to his knees yet again. He picked up the white rose which tips were now red, twirling it about. He smiled, choking back sobs.
She watched as he stood up, hugging the rose to his chest.
"I love you too Lee Chan," she whispered and the wind carried it to his ears. He looked around and she gasped. He called her name. A sudden warmth filled him and he shuddered. A beep from his phone made him look and he quickly ran off.
Lee Chan,
I heard what you said.
And all i have to say is:
I love you too.
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