Just so you know.

Krystal and Jinri has been best friend since their diaper days. Their relationship was odds though. They were best friend but always bicker with each other. They've grown up together, experience new things and learn how to love. Jinri loves Krystal but Krystal fell in love to Minhyuk. Sad reality that only Krystal does not know because she's busy loving Minhyuk.

There were times that Jinri will dashed to Krystal's home because she's crying and when he barge into her room the sight of her rolled up in her bed sobbing.

NOT AGAIN.

He walks slowly to approach her best friend to at least comfort her even though he knows there is only one person that can make her stop feeling bad

“Hey”. Krystal looks up and saw him.
“It hurts Jinri ah.”
“What happened huh?”  He pulls Krystal up and sits beside her while he side hugs her.
Krystal leans her shoulder on him and cries a little harder.
“He's leaving soon.”
“Leaving? Where would he be going?”
“New York. He's father ask him to.”
“And he's breaking up with you?”

After I asked that question she simply kicks me out of her room. She said why would I even think that. Minhyuk was just leaving but not breaking up with her.

Jinri looks up from the yard to her window and walks away feeling the cold night.

If only you look at me romantically I would never make you cry like that.

~

There were times where they would hang out and eat together only to listen about how Krystal loves Minhyuk.

“I really love Minhyuk. I mean I love the way he holds my hand when we were walking to the camp fire…” and the story goes on. I blocked all the words she's saying to my ears because she doesn't know that my ears are connected to my heart and it slowly breaking my heart.
“Hey Jinri! Are you even listening?”
“I'm sorry. What is it again?”  I look at her and saw a blush on her face.
“I mean, he pulls me when no one is watching.” What the?
“Oh please, Krystal. Spare me the details.” I rolled my eyes trying to show that I didn't care.
 

Why can't I just stop loving you?

And when times come that Krystal and Minhyuk broke up Jinri thought of confessing to her.

“Hey. Can you join me to watch the musical theater tomorrow?” I called her that night.
“Ow. I don't know. My friends and I were planning to watch it tomorrow.”

“Please. Just this one. 6PM”
“Okay but only if my friends are scheduled to that.”
“I don't care about your friends. Just damn get the 6PM ticket.”
“What?! You know what watch it all by yourself. Bye.”
 

How can I even confess tomorrow?

The next morning I saw her online on messenger so I dropped a message hoping she’ll notice me...
“Hey. I'm sorry about last night. Are you mad?”
“Think again of what you said and tell me if I'm mad.”
“I'm sorry okay?”
“Okay.”
“Can I still come and watch it with you?”
“Yeah. You can join. They say they would get the 6PM show.”
“Can we eat dinner after that?”
“Uhm. You can join us later because we're planning to have a dinner too.”

I did not reply to this message anymore.

The night came and I'm a bit late. She seems to be irritated by it when I see her waiting for me with her friends Minho and Jonghyun.

She looks to me and nod for the acknowledgement that I came and just when inside dragging Jonghyun with her.

There were 4 sits unoccupied. Two in front and two at the back. I looked at her hoping that she would sit next to me but I saw her dragging Jonghyun at the front. No choice but to sit with Minho.

Why did I came here today again? Hay. How can I confess if she can't even look at me that long? Did I really offend with what I said last night?

“Are Krystal and Jonghyun dating?”
Minho looks at me in disbelieved.
“Of course not. Jonghyun is in relationship.” They've got really close after her break up though.

I just nodded quietly and look at her again but I immediately regretted it. Ha. Why are you leaning your head on his shoulder?

I can't take it anymore so I stand from my sit and leave. Musical theater my .

I did not contact her for three months. She contacts me though. But I always ignore her.

One night I saw her status at facebook and it hits me.

So I call her.

“Hey.”

“What’s up?”

“Are you free on Thursday? Can we talk?”

“What time?”

“6PM?”

“Oh. I’m sorry, but I have class till 9PM.”

“Oh..”  I sighed.

“I’ll be available tomorrow though?”

“Really? Then can we meet tomorrow?”

“Yeah. Why the sudden invitation anyway?”

“I have to say something.”

“Oh.. alright. See you tomorrow then. Bye.”

The next day come and it was a busy day for me. I setup everything. I’m planning to confess tonight.

“Hey. I’m already dismissed. Where are you?”

“Uhm. Can you go at the address I’ll send to you?”

“Okay.”

I waited for 15minutes and when I finally see her walking I start to play the guitar.

I shouldn't love you but I want to
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you but I can't move
I can't look away

And I don't know
How to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know
How to make a feeling stop

I looked at her and sing my heart out. Hoping that she would feel what I’m trying to say with the song.

Just so you know
This feeling's takin' control
Of me and I can't help it
I won't sit around
I can't let him win now

I saw her smiling. Is this a sign that she can accept me?

Thought you should know
I've tried my best to let go
Of you but I don't want to
I just gotta say it all before I go
Just so you know

It's gettin' hard to be around you
There's so much I can't say
Do you want me to hide the feelings
And look the other away

And I don't know
How to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know
How to make a feeling stop

She sits at the chair in front of me.

Just so you know
This feeling's takin' control
Of me and I can't help it
I won't sit around
I can't let him win now

Thought you should know
I've tried my best to let go
Of you but I don't want to
I just gotta say it all before I go
Just so you know

This emptiness is killin' me
And I'm wonderin' why I've waited so long
Lookin' back I realize it was always there
Just never spoken

I'm waitin' here
Been waitin' here

Just so you know
This feeling's takin' control
Of me and I can't help it
I won't sit around
I can't let him win now

Thought you should know
I've tried my best to let go
Of you but I don't want to
Just gotta say it all before I go
Just so you know, just so you know

Thought you should know
I've tried my best to let go
Of you but I don't want to
Just gotta say it all before I go
Just so you know, just so you know

“I’m surprised you have a beautiful voice Jinri-ah.”

“I’m glad you appreciated it.”

I take her hand and let her sit at the dining table.

“So what is this all about? An apology for ignoring me?” She laughed at her own thought.

“I set this up and you could only think about the apology.”

“Then what is this, Choi Jinri?” Her facial expression change into serious one.

“I’ve actually planning to say this on that musical but you were ignoring me there. But right now, I am telling you, Jung Krystal, that I love you. I’ve fall in love with you my best friend all this time. My heart aches whenever you talk about other guy. I just want to see you not crying anymore because I’ll promise you I would never try to hurt you. I love you Krystal.” I look at you; there is nothing in your face. Even a shocked expression isn’t there.

She stands up from her sit and walks in my front.

“Stand up.” I obey her and wait for what she will do next. But I didn’t expect of what she do next. She hugs me. The type of hug that I never want to receive from her because I know she feels sorry. I can feel my shoulder and cheeks getting wet.

She let go of the hugs and wipes my tears.

“I’m sorry Jinri. I’m sorry. But I cannot accept what your love. I just can’t.”

“Why not?” I asked her. Feeling so devastated.

“Because I only see you as best friend. And I can’t give you more than that. I’m sorry.”

After she said that her phone rings and she didn’t answer it but instead says her goodbye to me. I didn’t expect what she said though.

“I’m sorry. But I have to leave already. Minhyuk is calling. This is also one reason why I can’t accept you. We’re getting married in six months. Goodbye Jinri. I know you can love someone who deserves your love and I’m not that one.”

After that she leaves me there devastated, shattered and broken into million pieces.

---

this was actually real with a little fiction in it. where my bestfriend confessed to me and i just dont know how to reject it. :/