"You ready for this MiRae?" My best friend asked as she snapped her fingers in front of my face, seeking my attention. "Rae...girl...can you hear me? Are you ready to do this?" Realizing the snapping wasn't taking much affect on me as I zoned looking out the window, she began poking my side. "RAE!!! Girl, are you ok? Are you ready for this?" 

"No!" I said frustrated. How was I supposed to be ok? How was I supposed to be ready? It'd been a year.. a year since I last saw him face to face. A year since I left Korea and moved to the Los Angeles with my best friend to join a record label and start my music career. I was finally happy again, I was finally over him. I had moved on and being here tonight was the last thing I wanted or needed. 

"Rae, I know this must be hard for you, but you might as well get ready our car is next." Our driver pulled up to the red carpet, getting out and opening the door. EunMi and I alighted from the limo and I took in the massive crowd of fans, reporters and other talented artists. Fixing my silver mini dress and taking a deep breath I put on a fake smile and locked my arm with EunMi's. "Rae, just pretend you're thrilled to be here, smile, act as if nothing is bothering you, it'll be ok."

Yah sure whatever. 

It wasn't that I wasn't thrilled to have been nominated for an EMA. In fact, I was extremely excited and honored that anyone had even noticed my talent. I was in a category with the likes of Rhianna, Taylor Swift, Katy Perry and Emilie Sande. The worst part of this whole thing was knowing that he was nominated too and would be here. I had no desire to see him.I didn't even want to be in the same country as him, let alone the same awards show. There would be no place to run and hide here. I would have to play nice if I saw him.

"What if he talks to me EunMi? How am I supposed to handle that?" I asked as we began walking towards where I would stop and pose every 30 seconds for the numerous photographers. 

"Just play nice. You know with all these people here I doubt you'll even see him." I stopped and broke my hold on EunMi, striking a pose for the cameras. "I really doubt you'll even...." I looked at EunMi to see her face go flat as she looked behind me.

"EunMi, MiRae!!! Hello!" His voice pierced the crowds screams as he quickly made his way towards us.

"GD." EunMi said shortly, coming to my side attempting to block him from me, but failing.

"Hey Rae! Good god you look stunning." He smiled, looking me up and down. "You're still so beautiful." He came in for a hug, then kissed my cheek. I just smiled a half smile. I hated him. He was such a fake, egotistical, play boy...that looked too damn gorgeous and made me heart skip a beat. I hated that I he could still make me feel this way.

"Hello G-Dragon." i said bitterly, stepping towards EunMi.

"Congrats on your nomination Rae. You completely deserve it." He smiled, as if he may have actually been sincere.

"Thanks. Good luck tonight." I grabbed EunMi's arm and headed towards the reporters calling my name. I had to get away from him. Seeing him reminded me of everything. Of how'd we'd been friends since we were young children, of how we'd fallen in love and found ourselves in a serious relationship. My coldness was fake, a way of hiding the true feeling I hid deep in my heart. I still loved him, more than anything. I still wanted him, more than anything. He was the reason I couldn't be with anyone else. He was it for me, but he had wrecked me. He shattered me and broke me into a million and a half pieces. He came in like a wrecking ball and broke me down...and for that reason I wouldn't allow myself back into his arms. 

- Later that Evening - 

"And the best male award goes too..." the crowd cheered in anticipation as the presenter on stage opened the envelope. "...G-Dragon!" 

Of course. I rolled my eyes. I mean why wouldn't he win? His popularity had risen in the past year. He made the announcement of his first full English album and had moved to L.A. to record and become known in America. The world was finally looking past his Kpop roots and realizing that amazing talent he was. I was proud of him, yet slightly annoyed. He truly deserved this award...even if he'd never really give me the credit for his rise of fame in America. I myself had become well known here. I was half Korean and half American. When I moved to L.A. I focused on my American roots, becoming the face of Kpop for America, yet GD was being recognized for it, not me. 

"Wow! Thank you! Kamsahminda! Daebak! It's such an incredible honor to be up here tonight. I am humbled as I accept this award, knowing that I have helped to open the door that's allowed Kpop to spread throughout the world."

Yah, it was all you. Just take all the credit...don't think about the fact that I was a large part of that. Wouldn't want to share the credit with anyone else no would we?

"But, you know, actually I owe this aware to someone else." GD smiled looking in my direction. "This person believed in me and knew long before I did that this was possible. If it wasn't for this person and their constant pushing and optimism I wouldn't be standing here tonight with the award. I wouldn't be here, I wouldn't be anything. So to this person, they know who they are, thank you. I couldn't have done any of this without you and your belief in me. Thank you, YG Family Forever!" GD smiled again and did his famous 90 degree bow. and headed to his seat, never once taking his eyes off my seat. 

"Did he just..." EunMi said, looking at me. 

"I think so..." I said dumbfounded.

 - Commercial Break - 

"What the hell was that about?" I said walking up to GD pissed off. 

"I was thanking you MiRae." He stood up. "Am I not allowed to thank you?"

"No...you have no right to thank me GDragon." 

"Rae, let's go talk in private.." GD whispered in my ear. I sighed and gave him a sideways glance as I rolled my eyes. "Fine...sure." I said following him into the hall and to a classroom across from the auditorium. As we got in the room I launched my attack. 

"Seriously, what the hell was that? What did you think by saying that you would ruffle my feathers? Huh? Did you think you would get under my skin?" I yelled.

"No, Rae, it was very sincere. However, clearly I did get under your skin. Rae, I meant ever word of that, it was because of you." GD said coming towards me. 

"Well I don't need your gratitude, GDragon. I don't need anything from you." I began to walk past him, attempting to ignore my feelings. As I did, he grabbed my hand and stopped me, pulling me towards him as I ended up in his arms, my face nearly touching his.

"I miss you." He said as he stared deep in my eyes, his hands cupping my face. 

"What the hell are you..." before I could continue on, his lips were pressed against mine. I melted into the moment, but quickly realized what was happening. I pushed against his firm chest and broke the kiss, then wiping my mouth. "Where do you get off kissing me like that? You don't get to miss me. God you're still such an egotistical ." I yelled and headed towards the door.

"And you're still a scared little girl who runs from her problems." He was clearly trying to get to me...and he did.

"Ex-cuuuuuuse me?" I said turning around and staring at him in disgust.

"You heard me MiRae." He said walking up to me so that he was just a couple inches from me. "You are a scared....little...girl. You run...you run away. Just like you did a year ago. When you just walked away..."

"Don't you DARE say that I just walked away Kwon JiYong." I said taking a step back. "I didn't just walk away. It was the worst feeling in the world to leave you.  I broke me. So don't you ever say I just walked away, I will always love you." 

"Right...whatever." He said, now just as agitated as I was. I found a chair and sat down, putting my face in my hands. He paced and then sat down in a chair beside mine. "How could you just throw away 20 years of friendship? Huh Rae? How how could you just walk away from the 5 years we loved each other? How could you give up?"

I looked up at him and sighed. "I didn't just give up on our love Jiyong. YOU DID. You became a whole different person as BigBang became famous and popular. You went from Jiyong, my best friend since grade school...to GDragon, the rapper, singer, leader of BigBang who only cared about himself."

"You knew I wanted this career MiRae...so you shouldn't be surprised that I dove into it and worked hard and became popular. You knew this is what I wanted so don't act like your shocked and hurt by the career I chose."

I turned my body towards him and looked at him sternly. "Im not Jiyong. I'm hurt because you became GDragon...all. the. time. You lost JiYong along the way. I was always proud of you. I was your biggest fan and was more than happy to root you on and love you and support your music, but then I became an after thought. After that, I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't allow myself to just be that after thought you only remembered when you wanted ." I stood up and walked away from him as tears began to stream down my face.

"You were never an after thought to me Rae." He stood, coming up behind me and laying his hands softly on my shoulders. 

"Really Ji, I wasn't? Really?" I said, turning around to face him so he could see the pain in my face. "So I wasn't an after thought when you chose to go to a fashion show you didn't need to be at, while I went and dealt with the passing of my grandfather, having to explain that you my faithful boyfriend was on a business trip?" I said walking towards him, getting louder in my speaking. "And I wasn't an after thought when I got injured in dance practice, ending up in the hospital with a sprained ankle, while Taeyang sat there holding my hand, you out and about with your buddies?" I got even closer, my face now nearly against his. "And I wasn't an after thought on the night of our 5 year anniversary? The night I made your favorite meal, that got cold. I wore your favorite dress. I lit candles, that burnt out. I did that all and you came home drunk off your damn , passing out on the couch. I wasn't an after thought then either? Your GDragon lifestyle took over and Jiyong went out the window, and I, your loyal girlfriend suffered."

"I...I..." he stuttered, trying to hold me as I pushed him away. 

"That's what I thought. I sat there all alone for hours waiting for you to come home so we could celebrate. I ate cold food, by candlelight by myself while you went out and got plastered. You came home and didn't say two words to me, just walked in, waved and then collapsed on the couch, passing out. Think for a minute how I felt Jiyong. That killed me...that broke me, that night you came home and completely broke me down, wrecking me."

"I...I never..I never realized that MiRae. Baby, I am so sorry." He walked up to me and began to wipe the tears off my cheeks.

"It's too late for your sorry's Jiyong." I pushed his hands away. "I stood by you faithfully and put up with your GDragon lifestyle for a long time. But that night, that night I realized the friend I grew up with, the man I'd fallen in love with, Kwon JiYong was gone and in his place was GDragon. No amount of loving you would bring back JiYong when GDragon consumed you." I wiped my tears and stood tall, opening up the door and heading down the hall to escape him.

"I wanted to marry you..." his voice echoed behind me, causing me to stop dead in my tracks as I slowly turned around to see him running after me. "I wanted to marry you. I bought a ring and was going to ask you that night." He said, pulling out a ring from his pocket.

My mouth fell open and I stared at him and the ring. "So...clearly you didn't want it enough if you came home drunk." I said, trying to act stoic even though my stomach was being attacked by butterflies and I wanted the ring on my finger.

"Listen to me MiRae." He said, grabbing my arms holding me in place. "I bought this ring for you and it has come with me everywhere I go, in hopes that I could finally say all of this to you. That night, I know I made a terrible mistake. See when I bought the ring and as I drove home I began to freak out, realizing the reality of what I was about to do. I freaked out and headed to a bar, you know for some liquid courage. But I got carried away and when I woke up the next morning, you were gone." He pulled back held the ring up.

"Ji...I.." He stopped my from talking by placing a finger against my lips."

"Shut up and listen...I love you, I wanted to marry you then and I still want to today." He kissed me and then got down on one knee. "Will you..." he said, holding the ring out as I covered my mouth with my hands in shock. I couldn't speak, and didn't know how to answer him. 

"Rae, you need to get in here they are about to announce...."I turned around to see EunMi waiting for me, her face stuck in shock at the picture in front of her. 

"I...I..." I smiled at Jiyong and took the ring as I ran inside.

"And the best female aware goes to.... MiRae!" I headed down to the stage, the ring still grasped tightly in my hand. 

"Wow...um...wow." I began. "I'm speechless. I didn't expect to win so I didn't prepare anything." I looked up to see Jiyong smiling at me as he headed down the isle towards the front. "I think first I need to thank my fans, you are the reason that I am up here tonight holding this lovely award. I want to thank the teams of people who surround me on a daily basis in my career. My best friend, who's stood beside me through thick and thin....and the love of my life, without whom, I would be nothing." I smiled as I held the award up and began to walk away, quickly stopping and turning back to the mic. "One more thing...yes." I said, smiling down at Jiyong.

He may have wrecked me once, but only he was able to take all my broken pieces and fit them back together again.