Three: The Walkman

They all stood there unmoving and staring at each other in silence. Alex was looking at Shane whose breathing seemed to stop as she stared at Park Chanyeol whose eyes were the only things that moved in that moment, looking back at Shane and then to others, expecting a reply. Meanwhile, Kim Jongin looked up in frustration, asking the heavens for an answer as to how to deal with the situation.

When Chanyeol finally realized that all he’ll receive is the silence that enclosed the four of them, he resolved to open the paper bags himself, kneeling down and carefully taking the lunch boxes out.  Kim Jongin stared at him in horror.

“Don’t touch something that isn’t yours, Chanyeol!” he said too informally. Chanyeol gave a pout, feeling like a child deprived of something essential like milk. He looked up at the girl who’s been staring at him mouth hung open.

Alex was the only one who seemed to have no what so in the situation. “It’s beef,” she replied to Chanyeol. “We were going to have dinner, you can join us.” In her periphery, she saw Kim Jongin run a hand through his face.

Chanyeol’s eyes lit up and with his long arms he immediately picked the paper bags, setting about to put them on the dining table. Alex was also set about to follow Chanyeol but Jongin pulled her back.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have disturbed you this late. We should go.”

“What? No, no no,” Alex immediately replied. “Stay, at least get something to eat before you guys go.” She turned to Shane. “How many boxes did you bring?”

“Three,” Shane replied, not even looking at her as she was absorbed in preparing the table with Chanyeol.

“Is it okay?” asked Kim Jongin in embarrassment, once again pulling Alex’s arm. Now, Alex isn’t a huge fan… yet, though she can’t help but internally yelp he’s touching my arm he’s touching meeeheee before coolly replying, “Yeah.” And of course, nonchalantly adding, “It’s okay.”

“Are you a fan?” Chanyeol asked Shane who was pouring ice cubes in the pitcher. The girl gave her a slight nod and he smiled. “Who do you like?”

Shane momentarily froze, torn between pouring the drink to herself or to the tall man beside her. “Uh— all of you.” The moment she said the words she regretted it. It came out as a squeak. She hated squeaks. She rolls her eyes at girls who squeak in fics she reads on the internet.

“Aha… true fan, true fan,” Chanyeol said, ruffling the shorter’s hair before opening the refrigerator that the girl just closed. He will never know the reason behind the fact that Shane unknowingly placed the pitcher back inside the refrigerator when they were about to drink it anyway. “Yah Jongin, she’s our fan.”

Jongin looked up from Alex to the person beside Chanyeol. “Ah, is she the one who keeps screaming that idiot’s name?” he asked Alex not too discreetly.

Shane’s eyes widened at the upfront remark and glared at her friend.

“Aha… you like me?” Chanyeol looked down at the short girl beside him, eyes filled with pure delight like she was something to eat. The girl looked up at him in panic before nodding timidly as a reply.

“Aigoo, my friend is so shy,” Alex said, pinching her friend’s left cheek. “When he’s on your phone you scream your lungs out with Karen, now he’s in front of you you’re vocally impaired all of a sudden ahhh…”

Shane now fought the urge to pour the drink all over Alex. “Ha- ha, yeah yeah.”

“Ooh wahh, she’s red.” Chanyeol observed in awe and fascination, poking her cheek before turning his attention back to Alex. Shane was a tomato. “Who’s Karen? Is she my fan too? Waah— Yah Jongin, seems like I’ve got more fans than you,” Chanyeol said feeling quite impressed with himself.

Shane and Alex looked at each other when it finally dawned on them that their one friend was missing. “You call her,” both said it in unison.

“No, you call her. She hates me,” Alex said, realizing that Karen is probably still sulking in the corner of her dark room where an altar of her bias is placed. Karen was a bit different from Shane. She doesn’t scream or squeal at the mention of her bias’s name… well, at least not in public. Rumor has it that her room was a fan girl’s holy temple where faint cries and hushed chants like prayers are heard outside it while rituals and sacrificing of plushies inside it happen.

The day after EXO’s Growl was released, the girl showed up at school with raccoon’s eyes from brain damage and a half paralyzed right hand from excessively scrolling through the internet, joining forums, and maintaining blogs. The day after that, she shows up with a non-functioning left hand and a brain floating in excess sugar from Sunny10. She barely talked and it was sad how she can’t even use her hands to do sign language.

After Shane called Karen to come over Alex’s flat for something really urgent such as their friendship in the brick of falling apart, the four ate dinner waiting for the last person to complete the unforgettable night. Shane grew comfortable at Park Chanyeol’s and Kim Jongin’s presence as the night stretched out and Alex began to slowly understand her friends as she listened to the EXO members ramble about their dreams and what they’ve been through in a manner that truly exposed their passion to what they’re doing. She learned what Jongin does in the group, aside from doing anything synonymous to hot, which was dancing… which is still under the category of hot, actually. From time to time, she hears new names she could only guess are the other members of the famous group and she looked at Shane in fascination because the girl spoke so fondly at the two men in the table.

“So nobody knows this girl Karen’s bias?” Chanyeol asked.

“Nope, well we tried­— and by we, that doesn’t include her,” Shane tried to explain, pointing an accusing finger at Alex, “—we tried to find out who by checking her phone gallery, or searching through anonymous blogs, and even asking her mom to find out for us but it was pointless. We had our speculations though, it includes both of you by the way, and then there’s well, Sehun, and Lay, but we really don’t know.”

“You see now, Jongin? I’m dance machine too,” Chanyeol said seriously and Jongin ignored him of course.

 “Why is she trying to hide it, is she ashamed of us?” Jongin couldn’t help but ask.

“What? No, no…”

“It’s probably Chanyeol, I’d be ashamed too,” Jongin said jokingly.

“Chanyeol is perfect,” Shane defended, looking at Jongin straight in the face, and Chanyeol cocked his head to the left before he propped his left arm on the table resting his chin on it as he smiled proudly at his fan. “He has a beautiful voice. And he plays the guitar and he plays the drums and he raps and he’s kind to ferrets and his fans and he’s tall and he’s funny and he’s Per. Fect.” Chanyeol gave a round of applause through out his fan’s entire rationalization. Apparently, she takes this seriously.

There was a knock on the door.

“I’ll get it,” Park Chanyeol offered.

“No, let Jongin do it,” Alex said and Shane gave her a suspicious look. She just shrugged, holding on to the fact that Karen, a shy girl who looked like she was bound to be the next president of the country’s largest celibacy club, did ballet and loved ballet.

So Kim Jongin stood up from his seat and headed to the door.

And that night Karen never stopped sobbing. The tears were real.

Ten years later.

Usually, what wakes Alex up is the blinding lights from a seven o’clock morning sun peering through her bedroom’s curtains accompanied with an annoying alarm tone she purposefully set the night before. It’s been like this for years after she graduated from college.

This morning was a bit different though. Actually, she kind of knew it would be ever since of the thing that happened last night.

She went home exhausted after a long day at work meeting with several important persons who each had different ideas and concepts on how to promote their latest established hotel in Seoul. All ideas were at least feasible in some ways but what drained her was the tension shared inside the room of people who were insistent. On top of that, certain people were fighting over who will manage their first ever hotel planted after its planned rebuilt and renovation.

“Do you want me to prepare anything?” the helper she hired asked after taking all her things from her.

“Tea, please, Suki,” she replied, bending her neck from side to side as she lightly massaged her back in an attempt to take the stress away. “Where is she?”

“She’s in the living room watching TV. But she’s probably already asleep,” Suki answered, now heading to kitchen to prepare tea.

Alex sighed, glancing at the wall clock. It was 11 o’clock in the evening but she still hoped her five year old daughter is awake because she misses her so much. They barely talked to each other lately because of her hectic schedule. “Do you consider me a bad mother if I wished my daughter to stay up late?” she half seriously asked Suki who just smiled and shrugged.

She reached the living room and to her dismay, her baby girl really was fast asleep on the couch. She looked at the TV and immediately concluded that the little girl probably exhausted herself out dancing to girl groups’ music videos.

She sat on the couch and reached for the remote control as Suki walks in to put the tea on the coffee table.

“Anything else?” Suki asked, set about to carry the little girl to the bedroom.

“It’s fine, Suki. I’ll do it,” Alex offered with a voice that hinted longing. “Thank you so much for taking care of Aya. Be careful on your way home, alright?”

After giving instructions on what to do the next day and sharing goodbyes, Alex sat herself comfortably back to the couch as she waited for commercials on TV to be over so she could watch the latest news. She lifted the teacup from the table as the opening sound of the flash report started.

“Famous boyband Atlantis has caused quite another stir among local fans to international fans as they were rumored to come back with a revision of a worldwide song hit–”

Alex would have rolled her eyes if she was eighteen but she wasn’t anymore so she took an initial sip of her tea as her other hand reached for the remote to change the channel.

But that didn’t happen.

Instead, her hand froze midway as familiar music blasted from the television speakers. The volume was hushed but it seemed particularly loud at that moment since she couldn’t hear anything else but the chorus of a song she used to scream during concerts and showers.

She snapped out of it when she felt hot water pool in her business skirt. She yelped in pain and annoyance but clamped shut when her daughter stirred in her sleep. She quickly stood up to let the hot water flow out as she searched the remote in panic. The thing seemed to have magically disappeared and the music filling the room wasn’t helping at all. When she looked up to the television again, her eyes widened when she saw familiar figures and faces, and she hurried to turn the damn thing off, tripping on her way because of the coffee table.

But once again, like a spell, she froze as she was face to face with the man whose smirk once swept her off her feet. Once? She scoffed then bit her lip.

“…Mum?” And with that sleepy sound she missed so much, Alex seemed to have regained her sanity and turned the television off.

She turns around to see Aya cutely rubbing her eyes. “Yes, baby?”

The little girl didn’t reply and instead rested her head back to the throw pillow and yawned. She looked so much like his father and Alex smiled bitterly as she stood up, deciding to call it a day.

---

 

Usually, what wakes Alex up is the blinding lights from a seven o’clock morning sun peering through her bedroom’s curtains accompanied with an annoying alarm tone she purposefully set the night before. This morning was different.

“Eureureong eureurong eureureong…”

She smiled like reflex at the sound, eyes still closed. “Eureu…ro…ng,” she mumbled.

“Eureureong dae eureureong…” the sound comes in again as she now felt fingers playing with her hair, letting it fall to her face.

“Eureurong dae mum mum mummy awakey wakey,” Aya cups her mother’s face, tickling her at the side. She plays with her mother’s eyebrows and abruptly releases a gasp when eyes shot open to stare at her in shock. “…sorry.”

“No, it’s fine baby,” Alex immediately replied, ruffling her daughter’s hair. “What were you saying?” she cautiously asked as she rubbed her eyes.

“Eureurong?”

She stared at her daughter for a moment. “W-where did you hear that?”

Aya shrugs. “You eureurong when you sleep,” she says, standing up on the bed to point at her. “Awakey! Now! Breakfast! Bacon! Bacon!”

Alex laughs as she watches her daughter wiggle and dance. “Fine, fine, go drink your vitamin water first.”

The little girl jumps off the bed and for a moment Alex worries she’ll trip but the child doesn’t and instead twirls before dashing off and chanting eureurong. 

---

 

“Aya, baby, stop saying eureurong, okay?” she finally says when her daughter wouldn’t stop. Memories were coming back to her and she wasn’t really in the mood to dwell on them.

“Mum your phone is ringing,” Aya says, doing mini body seizures on her seat. She always does it when she feels any phone vibrates, saying it is like a little earthquake.

Alex sighs. The first phone call signals reality. And in real life, she is a busy woman managing two of the largest hotels in the city, soon to be three, and a single mother. She likes the latter job a bit more.

She picks up the phone. “Hello?”

“Um… chief…” It’s her secretary Nomi. “I’m at your old flat, and umm, I know you’re busy but maybe, um… if you have the time…”

Her secretary stutters even when not nervous but is so efficient at work she never lets her go. Life is easier with Nomi. “Yes? What is it, Nomi?”

“Maybe you should pay a visit and choose for yourself what to keep? There’s a lot of stuff here?”

“What do you mean? It’s fine, just get the walkman. It should be in there… I forgot where I last put it, though. Just look for it. I have to go okay?”

“Tsk, who still uses walkman,” Nomi mumbles.

“Yah, I can hear you,” Alex replies, wiping her daughter’s cheek. She hears rustling on the other line.

“I’m just kidding. Fine, I’ll umm… look for… it. Wow… wait yah…”

“Mm?” She gestures Aya who was dancing while eating to behave.

“Uh…these are really good shots. Yah, chief, you photograph? Wah… daebak…”

Alex was alarmed. “What… what is it? What did you see?” she asks, partly sure it was the large prints of someone she loved, and partly hoping it wasn’t.

“Just some sceneries… wah, this one’s daebak… whose concert was this? The lights are so pretty…”

EXO… Memories of that night flashes through her mind uninvited.

“Anyway!” Nomi continues and Alex hears more rustling in the background. “Alright, I know you’re busy. So I just throw everything after I find your walkman, right? Can I keep some of the photos, though? I can frame it and put it in my café.”

Throw away? Every thing? Alex couldn’t answer. Didn’t she practically threw it all away though eight years ago? So why doesn’t she answer?

“Yah, chief, I’ll have you sign them don’t worry, so, please? This will really look good in my café.”

“Fine, do whatever,” She answers finally when she when she couldn’t bring her self to say Yes, throw my everything away. “But hey, before you go searching through my works, find my walkman first. Understood? I’ll go now. I have a meeting.”

---

           

After waiting for Suki who never comes in late arrive, she bids her daughter goodbye to leave for work with a settling thought that her baby is in safe hands.

The day continues to differ than the usual when she finds herself caught in traffic. She’s seldom caught in traffic. She remains calm though and turns the radio on. Traffic happens. So what?

The radio is playing Baby Don’t Cry that’s what.

She hits her head on the steering wheel. “What is happening…” she cries just as the car behind hers honks at her.

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry…” she mutters, driving the car forward. She listens to the song again and it’s funny how every time she tries to change stations, the car in front of her moves. “Fine,” she mumbles, flipping her hair.

So what if their song is playing on the radio, I can get through it just fine. It’s no big deal. I’m basically overacting.

No… turn it off, Alex. You can’t let them do this to you. Do you want to end up downloading all their albums again when you get home? Remember the tons of sales report you need to review? Remember the proposals? Turn… it… off….

Yah! So what if I download all of them again? It… doesn’t take much of my time, right?

You… stupid… ignorant… girl! Don’t–  The car behind her honks at her again as if agreeing with her latest self argument and she drives forward. She lets out a sigh but the internal conflict goes on.

Don’t you get it? Once you download all their albums, the next thing you know, you’ve also downloaded all their music videos, shows, happy camps, weekly idols, fancams! Turn it off!

Fine! She reaches out to turn the radio off but then again it doesn’t happen because her cellphone rings. Annoyed, she quickly answers it. “I’m caught in traffic. The meeting doesn’t start without me. What do you want?” She rolls her eyes for the first time in eight years probably.

The other line was silent as if it was just listening and she was about to check who the caller was when all of a sudden– “EODUKEOMKEOMHAN GOTONGUI GEUNEUL WIHEEEE! IBYEORUI MUNTEOGE NAEGA MUCHAMHIHEEE! NEOMEOJYEODO! GEUMAJEODO! NEOL WIHAE SEORAMYEON GAMDANHAL TENI UGHHHHH”

Shane. Of course.

Alex palms her face with one hand as she drove forward listening to Shane scream Park Chanyeol’s rap through the phone and the actual Chanyeol rapping it through the radio.

Say no more… baby…

No more… don’t cry…

“Stupid song with stupid lyrics,” she mumbles to fight off the tears threatening to fall all of a sudden. She actually felt like singing along but her chest tightens and she couldn’t speak a syllable. Memories of that night kept flashing back and she doesn’t like it at all. Shane does it for her though, the singing… and later she hears sobbing from the other end.

“I’m so sorry Alex…”

Alex wanted to say it was okay. That it was fine. No big deal. That she understands. But she can’t say anything more because of the lump she’s feeling in . She wants to take a deep breath but she knew that the moment she relaxes the tension, she’ll break down and cry too.

“I’m so sorry… it’s just that… I can’t reach Karen… and… and I just want to… never mind,” Shane says between sobs.

“It’s fine,” Alex chokes on the words and it’s barely audible.

“You must be very busy. You have a meeting, right… I’ll go now.”

And the line goes dead.

“Wow, Good morning, Seoul! So… how many of our listeners cried? For those who don’t know, that was Baby Don’t–” Alex turns the radio off, successfully this time and drives forward.

---

 

Her other assistant meets her in the building’s lobby with a smile on the face. Alex hands the young lady her suitcase before checking her wristwatch. Ten minutes late. She starts to walk hurriedly, her assistant tailing her.

They wait for the elevators to open. Alex was particularly impatient.

“Are you alright?” her assistant asks.

“Hmm?”

“You look pale…” they young lady says but quickly regrets it. “I don’t mean it like you don’t look good… you look great!” The elevator opens and Alex steps in while her assistant tails after her awkwardly.

Alex bit her lip as the elevators close. Elevators… She quickly dismisses the thought by facing her assistant. “And you look… glowing today Miss Han!”

Miss Han, the assistant, was a bit taken a back by the compliment of the cold CEO. “Eh?... uh… thank you!”

“Anything in particular that made you happy this morning?” Alex inquires.

Miss Han looked at Alex confused for a second but seemed to take the opportunity to have the casual conversation. “Ah yeah,” she looks down and smiles, “an EXO song played this morning…”

Does she want to talk about it? Why is her office on the highest floor of the building, again? The elevators need to open now! “Ah…” She examines the assistant for a moment. “How old are you again Miss Han?”

“Twenty four,” the assistant answers. “Ah! Do you know them?”

What— you mean, EXO?

“No, is it a boyband?” answers Alex cautiously. “Who… do you like most?”

No, I hear about them everyday, inside the classroom, in the hallways, in the restroom. It’s crazy. Shane won’t stop screaming that one member’s name— who was it…

“Kai,” the assistant says in a beat.

The elevator’s light flickered shortly and Alex panics, preparing her self for a loud thud. But it doesn’t come though, and for a fraction of a second she felt a tiny bit of disappointment before the elevator doors opened. “Miss Han, please ask someone to check the elevators. We don’t want it malfunctioning at any moment of the day, the week, the month, or year.”

“Got it,” the assistant answers.

---

 

“Where are the others?” Alex asks once she was seated in front of the long table with the other members of the team.

“Mr. Choi is working on a customer issue we got this morning,” Miss Park answers.

“Issues,” Mr. Joon corrects, though his face didn’t seem grumpy as usual.

“Issues? Oh dear god, is there no end to this… what is it now?” Alex says scrolling through files in her tablet which contained the meeting’s list of agendas.

“Um…” Miss Park fidgets slightly, “there’s bit of problems in the booking of the available rooms from foreigners ever since it was announced that the Atlantis concert is to be held at the Dome Asia months ago.”

“What? Are we fully booked? There are a lot of hotels nearby?”

“Um,” Miss Park looks at Mr. Joon as if asking him to help her out.

Alex also looks at the man but the man only smiled and sipped his coffee. Why is he so… gay today?

“And months ago? Don’t tell me the problem remained unsolved?” Alex looks at the members but some were busy scanning their papers, Mr. Park was trying not to look at her, and Mr. Joon seems to be the only one who knows what’s up. “What? Am I just gonna sit here all day?”

Mr. Joon clears his throat and smiled. “You’re particularly not in a very good mood today, huh?” he observes. “Alright, so, the hotel is sixty percent booked for the two days before the concert, mostly foreigners, bit of problems were taken care of. However a week ago, rumors were going around that Atlantis is going to stay here, and fans went crazy–”

“But is it true?”

“Atlantis? No. We didn’t say of course and booked the rooms, anyway,” he scoffs before sipping his coffee again. “Now, two days ago, after it was rumored that Atlantis is going to be performing a revision of Growl at the concert–”

“Is it… true?” Alex cuts him off again but Mr. Joon just shrugs and smirks.

“That’s not the point. EXO fans, crazy species, after all these years, damn,” he coughs but smiles, “well, um some, also booked rooms… well, actually, fought over it…”

“They want to see Atlantis perform Growl?” Alex tsked. “Seriously? EXO is the only one who can pull that thing off.” Duh?

Mr. Joon eyes her suspiciously. “Are you fan?”

“Get to the point.”

“Alright,” Mr. Joon sits back proudly, “actually, no, they’re not here to watch Atlantis perform, they would probably black ocean them anyway–”

“Yah–” Eight years have passed and people are still going on about such things about her fandom? “Okay… and?”

Mr. Joon laughed. “I’m just kidding, we don’t black ocean, that’s just rude. Well, they’re here because they strongly believe that EXO will show up as guests on the concert–”

“Oh my god!” Miss Han, who just walked in bringing some coffee for the others, joined in. “Really? They’ll be here? But I heard Lay is still in Africa doing some charity work?”

“Can people stop cutting me off mid sentence? And no, girl, Lay is actually in Uganda, but yeah, he’s still doing charity work, that cutie pie angel.”

“Alright!” Alex calls their attention. “So this is the problem Mr. Choi is currently working on?”

Mr. Joon nods. “I’m not finished yet. The entertainment just called this early morning to book floor twenty two–”

“The entire floor? Oh my god, it’s definitely EXO!” Miss Han was practically mini jumping on place.

Alex panics and looked at Mr. Joon for confirmation. “Is it them?”

“Not sure since the caller didn’t spill any information yet but it’s highly possible.” By this time Miss Han was already squealing and Mr. Joon soon joined in.

Alex could only sit back on her chair to watch everything unfold.

“Aaaand…” Miss Park finally speaks as she watched her phone with eyebrows creased. “…that’s why I can no longer join today’s meeting because PR people are going crazy…”

“Let me guess…” Mr. Joon says before giving Miss Han a knowing look. Alex, of course, also got it and started to massage her temples. “The fans already know about it and the information is spreading wildfire?”

“Faster than herpes!” Miss Han adds and they both laughed.

Miss Park stands up and grabs her things before looking at Alex for permission to leave. Once she got the nod, she eyes the two people squealing. “I don’t know why you two are so happy about this, the hotel can probably go out of control, the website might crash, and god knows what else… EXO is doing it all again.”

“Oh dear god, is everyone in this room a fan or what,” Mr. Joon says, “Yah Miss Park, who is your bias?”

“Oh Sehun,” Miss Park replies while checking if she left anything on her table before looking up. She says it so automatically it’s as if she’s said it a thousand times before. “Alright, I need to go now.”

And she dashes off, mouthing Yehet to the other two.

---

 

The day went on too fast with Alex finalizing the plans for the renovation of the first building, meeting with shareholders, foreign investors, and others. What irked her though was that every time she sees people hiding a smile, she immediately thinks it concerns EXO.

The day is over. She should be driving home to meet her daughter. But she’s still seated on her chair, overlooking at the beauty that is Seoul. She hears a knock.

“Come in,” she says but doesn’t turn.

“I’m… just going to leave this here.” It was Nomi and she hears something placed on her desk.

“Thanks Nomi…” she says.

“Chief…”

She thinks she knows where this is heading so she turns around to meet her gaze.  “Did you get good ones? I was an amateur back then but I think my shots were fine.”

Nomi laughs. “I thought you were going to scold me for being away for a day when all I was tasked to do was get your walkman.”

Alex shrugs. “Maybe I was too busy I couldn’t call and tell you to get your over here the hotel is going nuts without you?”

“Oh right, the concert is in three days.”

Alex nods.

“I’ll leave now, too tired,” Nomi says, faking a yawn.

Alex tsked, turning around to gaze at the view again. “Go,” she says, and she hears her footsteps. Nomi had turned the lights off before she heard the door click shut but Alex doesn’t complain. Nomi knew.

It doesn’t take long before hear heart starts aching. From what? She wasn’t sure. From regrets? From missing something so precious? Someone?

“So… you dance,” Alex remembers asking him though she already knew. She just wanted to talk, and the others were already fast asleep from all the yelling and singing that went on hours ago. Park Chanyeol even went back to his room to get a guitar. Karen and Shane had their shirts signed, even teasing her to get an autograph too. She remembers declining and regretting it after a month.

“Yes,” Jongin replies shyly. “Sehun too, and Luhan, and Lay…”

“And Chanyeol…”

Jongin laughs, “…yeah. All of us.”

“What makes you different, then?” Alex asks carefully. Jongin looks at her for a moment and she remembers wishing to just evaporate. And then maybe condense seconds after because she liked sitting beside him that much. She still hasn’t seen him dance, and she wants to, but she couldn’t bring herself to ask him that favor or even grab her phone to play a video of him dancing at the moment, sitting beside him at that moment felt somewhat enough.

“I don’t know…” Jongin says. “Maybe… just maybe… I love it more than anyone else in the group.”

“Mm,” she responds. She’s definitely going to watch a video of him dancing once he’s gone. She bets the prick is so good at it and is just trying to be modest – which is what actual super talented people do.

“Don’t you have class?” Jongin asks, trying to conceal the urge to ask her not go to bed just yet.

“Of course, I do. But what’s classes when you’re sitting beside someone hot,” she says jokingly but she meant it, of course.

Jongin chuckles again. “Why do I feel like you’re mocking me.”

“But you said that in the elevator a while ago, that you’re hot, you self praising prick.”

“Yes, I did, after you said it first.”

Alex scoffs. “When did I?”

“You said,” he clears his throat, “you’re like... really hot.”

Since she’s probably blushing anyway, she decides to admit it. “Fine, you were… kind of hot.”

And Jongin chuckles again. “You know I…”

“Mm?”

“When you opened the door a while ago and you asked me what I was doing here, I... actually…”

“You wanted to see me,” she says, not out of confidence but out of fear that if Jongin says the words himself she might actually fall for it. She doesn’t want to fall for it. All these will be over tomorrow – which is in three hours. She won’t fall for it. She’ll return the album to Shane and it’ll be over.

“You are so full of yourself,” Jongin says but not offensively, “but yes, I did want to see you.”

“I thought you were going to ask me to take back the awful words I said about EXO.”

Jongin inhales sharply as he remembers. “Yeah, take it back. Tell me we’re actually daebak.”

“You’re actually daebak,” Alex replies flatly.

Jongin stares at her even if she doesn’t stare back. People tell him he has a habit of staring at people and in that moment, he thought, maybe they were right. Maybe he wanted her as a habit. “You’re still not a fan aren’t you?”

“The songs were alright, I guess,” she says teasingly. “Do you want me to become a fan?”

She must have just imagined it but Jongin’s face looked unsure. As if he wanted to say no but accidentally muttered more than the opposite.

“Of course,” he replies, standing up to stretch. “Now this is why songs need choreography. Listening alone won’t do for some people like you in order to be a fan. Get up.”

And she did. And now, as she stares at city that still lit up at the latest hour, Alex wonders how things would have turned out if she didn’t get up. If she declined and said “I have class, I’ll go to bed now,” instead of following him all the way to the building’s rooftop.

“Tell me honestly, are you a fan or not?” Jongin asks when they’ve reached the place.

She remembers rolling her eyes because why is this such a big deal for him? It’s not like she joining the rest will make any difference. “I’m going to be, so don’t worry about it, okay?”

“So you still aren’t?” Jongin persists.

She doesn’t know where this was going but she shakes her head. “Not yet, I guess. Look, Jongin, don’t worry about it, okay? Even if I became a fan, it’s not like I’ll end up influencing all the hotel staff and customers to be the same so it doesn’t really make much difference.”

Jongin laughs again when he got what she meant. “Yah, Alex, I like you and I’m glad I met you.”

“Thanks. I’m glad I met you too, Jongin,” she replies flatly again, willing herself not to dwell on words such as Alex, I like you. Yet eight years had passed and she doesn’t ever forget.

“Now, sit.”

“You have dogs, don’t you?” she says but proceeds to lean back on the wall facing him anyway. She watches as Jongin did some stretching. He started practicing slight movements and Alex starts to panic. “What are you doing?”

“Do you know what Kai means?” he asks, flexing his arms then executing a wave.

“No, I don’t. What are you doing?”

“In Chinese, it means ‘to open’ which is what I’m about to do.”

“To open what.”

Jongin shrugs before smirking. “I’m going to audition and you’re going to watch.”

Yeah… no. I mean I want to see you dance, really, I do. But now that you’re all worked up I’m getting really nervous with all the tension. “Let’s head back, it’s almost five and I have classes.”

“Five minutes! Give me a chance, please,” he says, doing a ninety degree bow.

She thought it was cute but his seriousness had taken over the atmosphere and she felt like giving the respect the moment demanded.

“Alright… I’ll warn you though, I might walk away in the middle of it to make my homework,” she says, wanting to lighten up the mood.

“People remain rooted to their spot when they see me perform,” he says.

“Whoa… whoa… we have one confident auditioneer here. Alright, boy let’s see what you’ve got.”

“Hello, my name is Kim Jongin. I like to dance,” Jongin says in all seriousness.

“Nice, Kim Jongin. I like dancing too. But I can’t.”

“I can.”

“Please begin.”

And it did. She watched him execute such fluid movements ordinary humans can’t possibly do. He looked animated, computerized even, with so much control over every single cell in his body. Except he was real.

She couldn’t look away. In that moment, nothing else mattered other than Kim Jongin doing what he was obviously born to do – almost achingly effortless and heartbreakingly beautiful. Every move, from minute details such as his pupils dilating or a strand of his hair falling to cover his eyes, to bends of the neck, arms, and legs and his mouth curving into a smile, was soulfully done, gracefully performed.

She can’t even think “Ah, the song sounds good,” because there was none. It was as if Kim Jongin rendered everything speechless, even the early morning city of Seoul. And when he was close to the end of his performance, she can’t think “Ah, it should’ve been longer,” because everything was timed perfectly.

“Thank you,” he finally says almost breathlessly as he bowed.

She couldn’t say anything. Any word in her vocabulary couldn’t amount to measure his performance. For the first time, she looked at the sky, and finally noticed that the sun had already risen.

Kim Jongin basically just defeated the sun.

They looked at each other for a moment, Jongin hopeful with a hint of regret, and Alex with mouth hung open and her brain dipped in admiration it could no longer function well enough to find the right words. “D…daebak,” she utters, though she thinks it wasn’t enough.

“I’ll see you in our concert,” he says but he didn’t sound like Jongin.

“Y-yes.”

“I’ll look forward to it. EXO will continue to work hard to show you a better side of us. So please continue to give us love and support, thank you.” He bows again, breathes with finality, and exits.

That was the last of Kim Jongin she saw.

And two years after was the last of Kai’s.

Alex’s thoughts were interrupted by her phone ringing. It was Suki and she immediately picks it up. “Hello, ahh, I’m so sorry, Suki,” she starts.

“No, no, it’s fine. I was just worried about you not coming home. You usually inform me beforehand if you work overtime. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m alright. What time is it, anyway?”

“It’s eleven.”

“Really?” Alex immediately stood up to look for her keys. “Alright, I’m on my way now, please don’t leave Aya while I’m not there.”

Suki chuckled. “When did I ever? Alright, be careful on your way.”

“It’s late, you should just stay home too. I’ll go now,” she finally says and hangs up. She checks her desk and sees the walkman, takes it without hesitation and finally notices the item beside it – the keys to her old flat. She grabbed them anyway, feeling its familiarity of weight and shape in her hand.

---

 

A lot of strange thoughts can come into you when you ride elevators, most of them unwelcome, and by the time Alex reached ground floor, a decision to take the train on her way home was already made though she knew she had to come home early for Aya.

There’s not much people boarding the train and when she sees two schoolgirls from the school she graduated from sit across her, she had finally accepted that the day isn’t done playing the joke on her. It still hasn’t practically ended.

The train stops and one of the girls leave together with some others making the train a bit lonelier. The one left then rummages through her bag, to find her music player, Alex supposes, and for a moment she wanted to grab her walkman too. The school girl huffed in annoyance, she couldn’t find her earphones Alex was sure.

Yeah, that’s right, take everything out because the damn thing is probably stuck at the bottom begging the bag cloth to accept it as its own.

The student then takes out her books, one of them falling to reach Alex’s feet and line of view, as if purposefully thrown to her by life itself.

Of course. The album. I’m not surprised at all. Nope.

Ignore it, Alex. You didn’t see that. Let the ahjussi beside you pick it up.

She looks at her side but the man was fast asleep.

Is today some National EXO day? What is this about? Heol… Why do I even care that much, they’re just some boyband I used to like. So what. Big deal. Pick it up, Alex!

No, I’m not picking it up. The student will.

Alex, you do realize you’re over reacting, right? If it doesn’t affect you that much, then just pick the damn thing up from the floor.

Did you… omo… did you just refer the album as a damn thing?! Bichoso?!

Shut up, Alex! It doesnt’ matter?

Araso… araso! Why is the student not picking it up anyway, tch.

She picks it up and gives it to the student who seemed unsure if she should put it back on her bag or leave it alone. “Well, aren’t you going to take it?”

“Alright,” the student replies weakly, taking it.

Alex releases a sigh of disbelief before sitting beside her. “Yah, do you know people basically fought over getting a copy of this album? This album is daebak. All EXO albums are. Signed copies are at auction now amounting to half a million yen.” The last line was a lie, but Alex was kinda sure it’s happening anyway.

“You can have it then,” the girl replies.

“Ha!” She scoffs in disbelief. Back in the days some fans even go crazy over giveaways on the internet! “You’re giving it away? Yah, let me show you what you’re missing,” Alex says, taking it.

The student was obviously taken aback by the gesture. “Yah, unnie…”

“Have you actually opened this thing? Andwae…” She takes a deep breath while holding out a hand. “Have you listened to it?”

“Uhh…” The student scratches her head and pouts. “My mom gave it to me this morning when she knew Atlantis, the most amazing boyband in the entire universe, is reviving one of their songs. But really, I’m not interested. I can’t even go to the concert this Saturday.”

Why the hell is everyone crazy over Atlantis. She grabs her phone to check them out on the internet, and the student beside her notices.

“Yeah, that’s them!” the fan says proudly as she leaned over, “aish… why is google not showing the best pictures, oh that… that… look… they’re all really handsome but this one’s the most handsome of them all!”

Biased. Hmm… yeah, they look cute, with the hair and everything. “How many are they in the group?”

“Ten.”

“They look nice, I guess,” she says, putting her phone back in her pocket.

“Nice? They’re the hottest men that ever existed!”

That ever existed, my . “That’s probably because you still haven’t opened this,” she says, lifting the album up and she notices the man sitting across her scoff as if to stifle a laugh. She thought the man was asleep since he has his snapback covering his face as he leaned back on his chair. She goes on to think the same and ignores him.

“Yah unnie, they’re really the hottest, you can search all polls on the internet, ask anyone on the street, what’s the hottest boy group in Korea? They’ll answer Atlantis right away!”

Well, you can ask a banana tree in Papua New Guinea who’s the hottest boy in the world and it’ll remain unanswered because one cannot simply choose who’s the hottest in EXO! “Fine,” Alex plastered a smile, taking the challenge. “Yah, ahjussi… who is the most handsome man in the face of the earth?”

The man doesn’t answer but stirs in his seat.

“The answer is Kim Jongin.”

“Unnie, what are you doing, he’s asleep,” the student whispers.

“Andwae…” Alex whispers back, using a finger to ask the student to lean a bit more closer, “look at his breathing, and note his fingers,” she clears , “hey ahjussi, do you know EXO?”

Both ladies observe for a moment and the man across them grunts. “Mm.”

“Araso, ahjussi, you can go back to sleep now,” Alex says, putting her attention back to the album. “Now, let’s open this, shall we?” A student needs an enlightening after all.

She opens the album and her breathing hitches to see Kai but she quickly waves it off. “This… this is Jong- this is Kim Jongin but everyone calls him Kai. He’s the most handsome and he’s so passionate in dancing,” she flips the page before she ends up doing a litany, “… this is Sehun, the maknae, he’s the most handsome and he’s stupid–”

“But unnie, you just said Kai was the most handsome…” the student says, now obviously absorbed in the photo book since she doesn’t look up.

“All of them are most handsome,” she says, flipping onto the next page. Now, this is Suho, he’s the most handsome and the one who puts most feelings in singing…”

“He’s handsome,” the student awkwardly replies.

“He’s rich, too.” And with that Alex proceeds to introduce each of the members, quite surprised her self to not forget their details after all these years. And when they ended, she searched the little girl’s eyes to see the familiar light in them and she bets her own eyes were doing the same.

“Unnie… what are they…” the student says in a daze.

“They’re my faggots,” Alex replies. They ruined my life.

The student deflates and releases a yawn. “But still, I bet they can’t sing, only relying on their looks.”

Blasphemy.

Alex wanted to say more but the train stops and she had to go. “This is my stop. Listen,” she starts, hesitates, and continues, “...how much do you like Atlantis?”

“Deh?”

She clears , a bit afraid she might forget some words of what she’s about to say. “If you’re not good at studying, don’t even think about liking… who’s your bias again?”

“Uh… Jun?”

“Got it. Alright,” she continues, looking at the young girl straight in the eye, “Jun may seem like the most important thing in the world to you right now, but in a few years, you’ll regret it. You’re going to be a twelfth grader soon and it may be the most important time in your life... so focus more on your studies than Jun and meet him again proudly in the future.”

“A-araso, unnie,” the student says.

“And obey your parents,” she says, feeling her chest tightening at the thought of her father, “so when you mother says listen to the album, do it, okay?”

The student looked confused but she nods.

Alex grabs her things, heading to the door. “I’ll go now,” she says, waving a hand.

“Ah– unnie!”

“Deh?”

“Who’s the dance machine of EXO?”

Alex looked hesitant for a while but answers, “it’s Park Chanyeol. Bye!”
 

---

 

It occurred to Alex that she wasn’t in the right place. This wasn’t her stop. But everything seemed all too familiar. And soon her feet had already taken her to where she used to live, where she comes home from school, where she met Kim Jongin. Bright lights used to fill the lobby and hallways, but the building had now shut down for a complete renovation.

She enters the lobby and is met by the body guard who stood up immediately once he saw her. “Good evening! Ah, chief, what are you doing here so late?”

She doesn’t know exactly what too. “Are the elevators still working?”

“Ah, yes. But we turned it off. Are you going to your flat?”

“Yes…”

“Got it, I’ll turn on the power.”

The way to her floor was too fast, she thought. She reached the destination in no time. It was perhaps because memories of being trapped inside it for a long time still lingered. She pauses in front of the door, once again hesitant to move forward.

Why are you here? The room is empty. It is. Though for a moment, she hoped it wasn’t.

Alright, fine. I miss them so much. I miss all of it. She brings both her hands together to make a wish, to say a little prayer. If it’s empty, I swear I’ll cry.

I’m not kidding. I will.

She takes a deep breath. Deciding that bargaining won’t do, she clasps her hands together again, stronger this time, as she changes tack and starts to beg.

Don’t be empty, please, don’t be empty, don’t be empty. She starts tearing up like an eighteen year old as she inserts the key, not turning it.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry I left. I’m sorry I didn’t go together with you until the end. Please don’t be empty. Please, don’t be gone. She started crying by then because she wanted it all back so badly but it seemed too late.

I was wrong. Please, don’t be empty…. You weren’t just a phase…. I was wrong… please, don’t be empty.

Please?

So she holds her breath again, and with closed eyes b with tears of what’s lost and what she’s been longing, she turns the keys and opens the door. Her hands were trembling as it landed on the wall, feeling for the light switch, but her eyes remained afraid.

I’m going to open them now… so please be here…

“Hana…” she begins, swallowing the lump in , “deul…”

Please? Please please please…

“Seh–” she sobbed, opening her eyes.

When she saw everything intact, she cries hard for the first time in eight years of holding it all back. She held it back at the funeral… She held it back during graduation... She held it back on the first night… She held it back in the hospital… She held everything back. There was no outlet of frustration, there once was, but she had shut it all out. And she regrets it most of all.

She ran to her treasure chest to check, and all the photos, photo books, albums, DVDs, videotapes, the light sticks, every thing was there. Under her bed were piled frames of posters she used to hang on the wall, inside the cabinet, her camera beside a box of memory cards from taping performances, and under it is the photo album of official photo cards and concert tickets.

She couldn’t stop herself from making the ugly sobs that echoed inside the room as she rummaged through all tapes, trying to decide which one to watch, or as she plugged the television and player.

With trembling fingers, she put on to the player the disk that contained footages of the first concert she attended. She hasn’t stopped crying, and when the video starts with thousands of fans screaming, she screamed along while dialing Shane’s number. The opening sound of MAMA starts and she cries harder, screaming in excitement and wondering why Shane still hasn’t picked up the phone.

“Hello?” Shane answers groggily on the other line.

“CARELESS! CARELESS! SHOOT ANONYMOUS! ANONYMOUS! HEARTLESS! MINDLESS! NO ONE WHO CARE ABOUT MEAAAAHHHHHHH,” Alex cries.

“What the– who is this?!”

“Irheobeorin chae eennghhh aaahhhhhh argh,” Alex continues to sing, basically crying to the tune of MAMA.

“Wait… Alex?”

“Nuneul gamjimaaaaaaaaaaaannnnghhhhh ahhhh….”

“Heol…”

“Mmm,” she sniffed. “Where are you?”

“I’m coming, I’ll call Karen.”

“Urin deo isang nuneul maju haji anheulkkaaaaarghh SOTONG HA ji anhuelkkaaaarghhh SARANG HA JI ANHEULKKAAAA HMMMNGHHHH….”

“You sound drunk except that’s impossible because you never drink.”

Alex hears the roar of Shane’s engine and she stifles the sobs.  Seriously, if Shane told her that her car is always one meter within her reach, she’ll believe it. “Be careful on your way okay?”

“Ooh Kke!”

“Shane?”

For a moment the line was dead. “Mm?”

“My chest hurts so much… but at the same time I’m so happy?”

“You’re losing your mind. I’m coming.”

---

 

A year later.

Like usual mornings, Alex walks in the building and is greeted by the hotel staff. She bows to them in response and smiles. Nomi gives her a cup of coffee, takes her suitcase, and immediately reports to her the first schedule of the day.

“Don’t have much anything to do today then, great! Do you want to go eat something? I saw a new stall selling fishcakes on my way here, we should go,” Alex replies after listening to the summary of the day’s events.

“Umm, y-yeah s-sure,” Nomi says but doesn’t look up, busily searching for something inside the suitcase.

“What is it?”

“I think you left your walkman in the car, I’ll go get it,” Nomi answers.

“I seem to forget about it lately,” Alex says, taking the bag, “but the albums are all here right?”

“Yes,” Nomi answers. “Please, go ahead, the client is probably on his way now. Floor Twenty two.”

Alex sips her coffee before greeting back some clients and staff on her way. She had received such incredible feedbacks since last year, people saying she looked glowing and ten years younger, so she tries her best to offer everyone smiles through the good days and bad.

“Chief!” Nomi calls.

“That was fast,” Alex says, taking the walkman from her.

“Yes, I ran, there’s some emergency at home, can you let me off for an hour?” Nomi asks, anxiety plastered on her face.

“Yeah, sure. Is it your Nana?”

“Yes, she was feverish this morning. I’ll go now.”

“Don’t drive too fast!” Alex warns at the already running figure. Once she got two thumbs up, she immediately headed to the elevator.

---

 

Kim Jongin, dressed in a clean white button down shirt and navy blue shorts, adjusts his snapback before pushing the elevator button. Although the people living and visiting at this hotel were mostly new ones, after the renovation a year ago, the chances of running into someone he used to know is still there. Chanyeol tells him so.

Finally, the doors slide open and he walks in, letting the wave of memory wash through when he found it empty. Immediately, he pushed the button that would take him to his floor.                                 

“Omo–” he gasped in surprise, when out of nowhere a hand roughly held one side of the door, making it slide open again.

Alex hurried her way in, panting from running too fast from the lobby to the elevator. The doors closed. She lifts her finger to press the elevator button that will take her to Floor Twenty-two but her hand froze mid air as she notices the button already glowing red.

Wait… Is this the client? Eotteokke? I should’ve arrived earlier than schedules! It’s because Aya didn’t wake up early like usual to blast those loud songs kids listen to these days. Heol, you’re blaming your daughter now? You should’ve set your alarm the night before. Aya told you she was going to rest before the auditions.

Alright. It doesn’t matter.  Get a hold of yourself.  I think he’s staring at you! Greet him good morni–

“You still haven’t pressed a button,” the man beside her says.

“Ah–”

“I’m sorry but, I was going to have the entire floor. Though you can take a look at it too, if you want…”

C-can I just open my bag, get the papers, so I can know your name? Why the hell didn’t I review it the night before anyway! Screw it. “Good morning, Hi…” she takes a glance at the man beside him before she opens her bag. “Give me just one second… It should be in here… some… wh–”

The elevator made a loud thud and they both fall in the floor. The lights turned off and both couldn’t see anything. Ha! Ha… ha… The thing just had to malfunction with a very important client in it! Of all times, now?!

“Really now, seriously?!” Alex muttered the thoughts out loud, standing up to kick the elevator doors.

“Don’t do that!” Jongin said in panic, worried about the traction cables being cut off. In the dark, he smiled at the familiarity of the situation. How many years has it been? Ten? Eleven?

Light fills the space enclosing them but it doesn’t move. Alex, too, doesn’t move.

No way. But – andwae… just no… way.

She really didn’t want to hope but she couldn’t help but do exactly just that with every second that passed by. She reaches for the alarm switch before quickly turning to face the man.

“Hi, I am sorry for the inconvenience…” No… way.

The man stares back at her equally.

No way. Alex, don’t believe it so easily, it isn’t him, if you look closely– YOU STUPID GIRL, YOU’VE SEEN HIS FACE SO MANY TIMES, OF COURSE IT’S HIM. Alright, it’s him, I know. I was just trying to make it a bit more drama– Oh my god, he doesn’t recognize me, does he?

It took Jongin a good amount of control to not laugh at her face. “Yes?”

He doesn’t! YOU LITTLE PIECE OF cutie… pie… Alright… okay… calm down… haha…aha..ha..ha? Duh,, I’m not going to be butthurt over something so trivial as he not recognizing me. I mean, come on, I am trapped INSIDE THE ELEVATOR WITH KIM JONGIN OF EXO DO YOU FEEL ME RIGHT NOW?!

Alex laughs nervously before smiling. “I… I’m sorry. I’m such a huge fan and just… wow… can I get an autograph?”

Jongin palmed his face to hide his laugh. He can feel his cheeks blush so he quickly adjusts his cap before offering a hand to ask for a marker and an item. “Yes, sure, thank you for supporting us.”

Alex stares at him with mouth hung open, still couldn’t believe what she’s seeing. He looked so boyishly cute adjusting the snapback. She notices his hands so she quickly reaches for her bag.

She wasn’t kidding when she said she’s such a huge fan, Jongin thought. She basically has all their albums. He takes each one and signs it. “Do you bring these everyday? Perhaps–”

“Deh?”

“Did you know I was going to be here so you purposefully brought all of them?” Jongin proceeds to sign the albums before jokingly adding, “tsk, I didn’t know we still had sasaengs…”

What?! YAH WHAT SASAENG?! I was one of the officers of EXO’s anti-sasaeng club?! I fought hard for you YOU LITTLE PIECE OF cutie… pieeeeee.

“Thank you so much,” Alex says, taking the last album and carefully placing it back to her bag. “I’m pretty sure my daughter will get jealous. She’s such a big fan of yours. Everyday, she works hard mastering your practice videos!” Which, I gave her a year ago so it’s all my doing, really.

Kim Jongin sighed, feeling a bit of sadness wash over him. “Daughter? But didn’t you belong to the ocean of fans who screamed and swore to marry us?”

Alex was speechless.

“I’m just kidding,” Jongin adds with a smirk.

“Ha… ha… yeah, we did. It’s not like you were going to actually marry any of us anyway, right? Well, reality does hit you hard at one point.”

“But you did want to marry me at one point, right?”

“What?” Alex was a bit taken a back. “Uh… of course… we all did?”

“Were those feelings sincere?”

“Y-yeah…”

“Well, it was true at one point. I think that’s what matters.”

“Yeah…” Alex agrees. “So! You’re going to buy the entire floor twenty two? I’m sorry I wasn’t able to properly introduce myself… I was a bit surprised… anyway!” She claps her had, “I’m so sorry for the elevator, I swear malfunctions only happen once in… I don’t know… haha… ten years… but we’ll fix it as soon as we can!”

Jongin nods through it all. “I’m sure of it. At least there’s an alarm switch.”

“So um, yeah, I’m the building’s owner. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mister Kim Jongin,” Alex says, holding out her right had.

And with a smirk, Kim Jongin takes it. “Pleasure to meet you too, Alex.”

Alex opens to speak but closes it awkwardly when she couldn’t find the words to say.

“So how long are we going to be trapped inside this time?” Jongin then bends down to sit on the floor.

Alex remained rooted in her spot.

“Did you bring food? I hope so…” Jongin proceeds to open the bag that just fell to the floor from Alex’s weak grasp. “Ah… there’s none. I hope we can get out of here fast and maybe get some coffee? What– you still use this?” He lifts the CD walkman to her and she looks back at him.

When Alex has finally recovered, well, partially recovered, she sits on the floor to face him. “You remember me?!”

Jongin simply nods, putting on the earphones to check what she’s listening to lately. The last time he checked, it was empty and he had to put their album CD inside it.

Alex stares at him incredulously before pulling out the earphones. “Yah! So you also remember leaving me alone in the rooftop?! Why?!”

“Because I knew you were going to be a fan and we could no longer stay as friends. I was young back then, forget it,” he says simply, putting the earphones back on.

Alex wanted to scream at his face. But the urge to hug him was there too.

“Ah… did you became a fan, though? Were you there in our first concert?”

Alex nods. “Still! You didn’t have to leave me? What’s wrong with being friends with a fan? It’s not like I’m going to post private stuff about you on the internet?”

Jongin fiddles with the device to turn it on. “I didn’t want to make friends with you because I liked you a lot. We only just debuted. So I turned you into a fan and made you off limits– wait, why are you playing Miracles in December, it’s July?”

 

---

[A/N:] I told you it was going to be a three shot. So here it is, just as promised. I know (I guess) a lot of you didn’t get the sequel that you expected or wanted but um this is how I originally imagined it to be. It took me a long time to start writing because I couldn’t get the feeling. The fandom is going through a lot lately and after sulking over a lot of things I sort of channeled all my feelings to finally write it. I wrote this for myself and for all other exo stans out there (somebody shoot me lmao). Anyway, this is literally fanfic, I guess? Since it centers on Alex a lot. I guess all of us have a little bit of Alex in us, or Shane, or Karen (omg who does plushie sacrifices here?). Anyway, it’s a story about a fan. I’m not going to say anything about what happened in that eight years Alex is talking about, I’ll leave you think of the hundreds of possibilities that could happen in a fan’s life. I created Alex so I know what happened of course, lmao. OKAY SO WHY IS THIS NOTE SO LONG LMAO TIME TO SAY GOODBYE THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING AND FOR LEAVING LOVELY COMMENTS IT FELT REALLY NICE READING THEM AFTER THE HIATUS LMAO IDEK HOW YOU FOUND THIS OTL BUT THANK YOU AND PLEASE PLEASE CONTINUE TO LOVE AND SUPPORT EXO AND LET’S ALL GO TOGETHER UNTIL THE VERY END ok bye bc im tears alr sadknlajldajo one last thing sorry for the mistakes an d let mejust end this with a quote bc I like hehe

“In times of trials and struggles, be still and know oppa is hot.” /italicizes it for effect/