{Not Around Any Longer}

“Minseok, are you okay?” Chen asks quietly as he shakes Minseok's shoulder. EXO managed to get a break from their usual schedule for the afternoon so their manager had suggested for them to go out and grab something to eat but Chen noticed Minseok hadn't touch any of his Kimchi fried rice and it was starting to get cold.

“Huh...?” Minseok says as he comes out of his trance, the dark circles under his eyes were still noticeable despite the amount of makeup the stylists had put on his skin. Chen also notices that Minseok had become thinner in the past few weeks since... Luhan broke up with him.

The younger of the two had decided that he was still in love with Sehun, and that Minseok was nothing more than a fling to get his mind off Sehun. Minseok was heartbroken but he hid it well, no one else in the group knew of the eldest's heartbreak but his best friend Chen.

Minseok then threw himself into extreme training, sometimes not even leaving the practice room unless EXO's own manager came and fetched him. Threatening to tell their CEO if Minseok didn't come out to eat or sleep but that didn't stop Minseok's extreme training. Chen could still remember the night he walked into the practice room, and saw Minseok passed out on the ground. He had worked himself too hard and let his health deteriorate terribly.

“Minseok hyung!” Chen screams as he shakes the elder, slapping him across the face trying to wake him up. Minseok showed slight movement but no signs of waking up and this only cause Chen to panic even further and fear for the worse.

Chen shrieks as he slaps Minseok again, this time leaving a light hand print on Minseok's cheek.

“Ouch...” Minseok groans as he opens his eyes, looking up weakly at Chen. “Chen.. it's you.”

“You have to stop, you are going to kill yourself.” Chen whispers softly, pressing the back of his hand to Minseok's forehead. His forehead is really warm but not at the same warmth of a fever.

“I can't, I have to practice.” Minseok says, getting up from the floor and reaches for the stereo but Chen stops him with a slap of a hand. His jaw went slack in disbelief by the fact Minseok wants to continue despite passing out from exhaustion.

“You have to rest.”

“No, I can't.” Minseok says shakily as he leans on the mirror of the practice room.

“Why not?!” Chen demands as he shakes the elder wildly. “Can't you see what you are doing to yourself?!”

“Because... If I stop practicing... I will remember, I will remember him. I can't stop remembering him Chen, every time I close my eyes, he is all I see. I can't sleep because I need him there, but he isn't there and he is never going to be there anymore! If I stop practicing, I will break down again and I can't do that.” Minseok says quietly, slipping to the ground slowly with every word he says. “I'm dying on the inside without Luhan, but he is fine without me and that very thought is killing me.”

“Hyung...” Chen whispers softly as he kneels besides the elder, wrapping his arms around him.

“He isn't around any longer.” Minseok says softly as Chen feels wetness on his chest but says nothing. He allows the elder to cry in his arms until the quiet sobs turn into soft snores.

“You look terrible, maybe you should go back to dorm and rest.”

“No... just give me a minute longer, I want to look at him just for a minute longer.” Minseok whispers weakly, his eyes looking past Chen at the couple at the other end of the table. Chen's eyes follow Minseok's as they land on Luhan and Sehun, whom were feeding each other noodles, smiling happily as if they were the only ones in the world.

“You are torturing yourself hyung, Luhan isn't here anymore. You can't let yourself suffer like this while he is happy.” Chen says in harsh whispers as he clenches his fists, glaring slightly at the elder. Minseok had been neglecting his own health for weeks now and fans were starting to take notice of his weight loss. He can't keep blaming it on their training for their comeback.

“He is still here, I can still feel him in here.” Minseok mumbles as he pushes his food away as usual, his hand ghosting over his chest. All he could feel was a dull ache, no matter how much he tells himself that Luhan used him. He couldn't make the pain go away. There were nights where he went to the local bar with other members secretly, trying to drown his heartbreak away. It would numb the pain for a second but the next moment, when he steps into the kitchen and sees Luhan.

Everything would come back and hit him with full force.

The hugs, the kisses, the sweet words, the nights where they made love to each other, and the smiles Luhan used to give him when he thought no one was watching. It all came back with so much force that Minseok felt like he couldn't breathe.

Minseok looks down at his hand and fiddles with the ring that Luhan had given him for their anniversary. His fingers brushes gently across the words 'Wo Ai Ni' engraved on the side of the ring.

Those three words had given him life yet they have also taken his life. Minseok had allowed himself to give everything to Luhan and now he had nothing left.

He should have saw the signs that Luhan was never in love with him. The times when Minseok would leave to get water and come back to see Luhan wrapping his arm around Sehun, the times when Minseok noticed Luhan looking at him oddly as if he wasn't suppose to be there, the times Minseok noticed his gifts being thrown in the trash, and the times Luhan didn't say 'I love you' back to Minseok unless he was slightly buzzed. He should have known but he didn't want to believe that Luhan didn't love him.

“Luhan, why is my teddy bear in the trash?” Minseok says he looks at his deer plushie that he had given Luhan a couple days ago in the wastebasket of Luhan's room. He picks it up and dusts the dirt off the plushie, blowing it slightly before smiling and holding it to his chest.

“I didn't like it.” Luhan says indifferently as he continues to play with his phone as Minseok's eyes drop to the floor as he wills himself not to cry. Luhan didn't like the plushie? But Minseok had to sneak out to get it for him when Luhan had pointed to the plushie on a online website, claiming that he need to have it. Minseok nearly gotten punished by their manager but got let off with a lecture about rules and why they are needed or there would be chaos.

“Oh... then why did you say you liked it?”

“I don't like it now, okay?” Luhan says, his body stiffening in annoyance. Minseok's chest falls as his eyes wanders to Luhan's bed and sees a new deer plushie on the bed, it wasn't any of the ones he had given Luhan before. He squints slightly and notices it said 'From Sehun' on the card attached to the plushie's ear.

“Oh...”

“Look, I don't want to talk about this Minseok.”

“You act as if my presence annoys you.” Minseok says quietly, his throat feels tight but he waits for Luhan to respond. He waits for Luhan to say that he loves him and that he would never be annoying. Yet it never comes.

Minseok could only hold the deer plushie to his chest as he watches Luhan gets up. He smiles hopefully as Luhan walks towards him but his smile disappears as the bedroom door slams in front of his face.

“Sehunnie, say ahhhh.” Luhan says loudly as Minseok snaps out of his thoughts, looking at Luhan as he tries to get the pouting maknae to eat some more rice. He remembered how Luhan used to do that to him too, when they were still together. The thought makes his knee weak, his lungs felt constricted again.

His eyes focus on Luhan, his stomach drop slightly as he hopes Luhan would look at him, say something to him but the younger hadn't spoken much to Minseok since they broke up. He said it was for Minseok's good if they didn't speak at all but watching Luhan be in love with Sehun isn't good for Minseok either.

“You're right, I'm going to go back to dorms and get some sleep.” Minseok says as he forces a bright smile on to his face, getting up shakily and heads for the door. He could still hear Hunhan's laughter and giggles behind his back but he will himself not to break into tears.

“Hyung, do you want me to go with you?” Chen says as he gets up, rubbing Minseok's back gently but Minseok could only shake his head at his friend.

“You should stay with Kris, he already thinks something is up with us and I don't want to cause you any problems.” Minseok smiles as he notices Kris looking at the two of them, he didn't look very happy.

“Ok... if you say so but don't do anything stupid okay?” Chen says as he gives Minseok a tight hug before sitting back down next to Kris, who wraps a possessive arm around Chen. Chen grins as he snuggles into Kris' side.

Minseok could only nod as he makes his way out of the restaurant, and heads for EXO's dorm. He pulls his hoodie on tighter, covering his face with his face mask. He is no mood for any fans to surprise attack him.

The walk was quiet, also too quiet. Minseok still hadn't gotten used to not having Luhan's voice accompanying him when he felt absolutely alone. He tried of think of what to say to his mother when he calls her yet nothing comes to mind. His mind is empty except with Luhan. Luhan's smile, eyes, and even his weird laugh.

Minseok sighs softly as he steps in their dorm, his eyes wanders around the messy living room before walking into his room. Kyungsoo is probably going to clean it up anyways when the rest of the members get back.

Minseok flicks the lights on in his room and sets his sweater on the hook next to the door before stepping over some of Chen's things and sits on the edge of his bed. He couldn't help but smile as he remembers how Luhan used to kick him off the bed when they started dating. He remembered how he would complain and Luhan would kiss him to shut him up. Even now Minseok refuses to sleep in the middle of his bed, he keeps hoping when he wakes up, Luhan would be there. Luhan would tell him he loves him and that he made a mistake of choosing Sehun. Everything would be okay again but... it wasn't.

Minseok rubs his forehead as he lets out a soft sob. It hurts, to not see Luhan there anymore, to not feel his arms wrapped around him when he is crying from stress. Everything without Luhan there, he couldn't relax without Luhan.

He wants Luhan, everyday and everyday he suffers the harshness of the sad reality. He needs to let go, he needs to say goodbye but his heart doesn't want to believe it's the end.

Minseok's tears fall onto his shirt as he struggles to pull out his cellphone, his hand scrolling to a number he hadn't dialed in a while.

Luhan had been ignoring his texts too, it is almost as if he erased Minseok from his life and only acknowledged him when they were in front of the fans. Minseok has to smile and pretend he is happy with Luhan in front of the fan but he knows once the cameras were off, Luhan would be gone again.

“Stop crying.” Minseok whispers to himself but the tears only continue to fall without restraint.

He couldn't stop crying over a guy who wasn't even around anymore. Yet Luhan is still there, in Minseok's heart.

“Why am I letting myself get destroyed by you?” Minseok mumbles softly, letting out a broken laugh as he looks on his drawer, it was a picture of him and Luhan. They were smiling together as Luhan had his arm around Minseok's shoulder, hugging him close to him.

Shaking slightly, Minseok presses Luhan's number, clicking the text option. His sobs only increases as he starts typing a message on his phone. His anguish and pain pours from his heart as he continues to write. They say it's impossible to die from a heartbreak but Minseok felt the pain in his chest, it hurts too badly to be nothing. His own soul is breaking over and over again as he wipes his eyes, looking down at the text message.

'I can’t smile because you’re no longer here, I hate seeing myself break down. Why am I withering away like a fool everyday for you? I fall asleep again crying because of you. I hate myself for getting drunk over you yet I can't breathe now that you're no longer here. I'm slowly dying but you are not here. But I have to live, even if my existence is pain. Even if you aren't here anymore, I'll find away to breathe again. Just promise me... you will never come back because by then, I will be gone.' - Minseok.

Minseok closes eyes as he bites his lip, drawing blood as he presses send. His heart burns in pain as new tears rolls down his cheeks. When will this pain be over?

Minseok tosses his phone onto his bed and gets up, picking up the picture frame containing the picture of him and Luhan and tosses it into the wastebasket. He lets out a shaky breath as he stumbles forward and turns off the lights in his room before falling back on to his bed, pulling his blanket over himself to cover his frail body.

“Tonight is the last night I cry myself to sleep because you are not around any longer.” He whispers as he closes his eyes, letting his tears fall freely.

{Fin}

A/N: I hope this was okay, this is one my first attempts at angst.
Well thanks for reading and I hope you liked it.
I know I should really go back to writing my other story /slapped.
This story is also unbetaed and written in like a couple hours. So I'm sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes. 
This was roughly 2454 words.