You are my sickness, and my remedy. You are the bane of my existence and the only thing that keeps me going. How can you be so good for me when all you do is tear me down, how can you say you love me when every other word you say is lies. How can you fix the hole in my heart when you are the one making it bigger. How can you be the one I'm mad at, when im the one who cant leave?

I stand by your side whispering sweet nothings as you take yet another peice of me. Your head is bent into the crook of my neck taking my warmth and security. Yet still i lean into you, telling you all the things you want to hear as my heart gives out from under me.

I do not cry. Well, while you're around. But at night when i'm alone and i remember how much it hurts. Then I cry. When i remember how the "I love you's" became "love ya's" which became "goodnight" and the only time i'd even be reminded you are still mine were in those moments after, when your brain was too fried to filter the lies. Not that i would mind. I would jokingly smile, and tap you on the shoulder saying "It doesnt count" and you would smile. Never saying it again later.

It took a long time, to realise you were slowly boring into my skin and taking peices of me eveytime we spoke. To notice that talking to you made minutes feel hours and left me in tears without even trying.

But the pain I felt when you weren't there far outweighed the part of my brain that said, "maybe this isnt good for you"

No that was silenced with guilt and shame.

And slowly before i even knew i was dieing i was dead inside. A shell walking, living and breathing for you. I would wake up on a friday and live for two days, but i would die again on the sunday wating for your return.

There was nothing left for me to do. I had forgoten how to live for me, you ended up taking everything from me, as i changed myself trying to please. Swamped with self doubt and self hate, wondering "Why would such a good looking boy choose me?"


But just like that you stole my heart. To leave it for dead on the cold hard ground. My heart was dead the moment you left, when the words you typed translated in my head. I knew right then that i had never been alive, because if i had, it would have hurt. I would have been able to do something other than accept. I would have been able to slap you harder or take back what little of me you had saved. But I did not, and could not. And now I am still left to try to remember how one person can fill a single bed, and how one person can, no matter dismal the relationship, be better than having someone to share the slow path with.

~A/N~ Hey there, welp, my first angsty fic... it's short because like I said this more wrote itself than me write it... and also the keo thing isnt a set thing... I had no one in mind while writing this so feel free to imagine whoever you see fit or suggesting a paring you think fits it better? ach i dont know... im only uploading it because i like the first paragraph. I hope it's okay<3