Final.
don't dull the sparkle in your eyes.
don't dull the sparkle in your eyes.
Yifan never stays.
It's something Joonmyun has picked up over the two years that they have been together. His boyfriend's unmitigated indifference towards their relationship has become a routine, much to his chagrin. It didn't help that Yifan's chronic stoicism always seems to hinder his naturally-recurring bouts of curiosity. Joonmyun knows this vicious cycle all too well – yet somehow, he can't bring himself to complain.
Ah, the follies of youth.
Joonmyun lived within his means; the constancy is ever-present in every aspect of his life. Going out of bounds has never been an option – he has always chastised himself for even bringing that topic up – and restraint seems to have been brought upon his own self by, of course, himself. He works by the standards, lives by the standards, adheres to the standards; it's like all he's ever wanted to do is follow follow follow, and to remain ethical in the midst of change. Even his impeccable schedule as head curator in the National Museum of Korea never goes unnoticed by his colleagues; Jongin, an intern, seems to have made it a habit to remind his senior to "let go every once in a while". Joonmyun always begs to differ. But when non-deviation from the norms of life can be helpful, it's also his downfall as well. Unfortunately.
So it's to his utter surprise when he meets Yifan – apparently, the latter was some sort of dealer from Canada – and falls head over heels for the quiet and enigmatic giant. Four months of having a crush (and thinking that it was only one-sided, goddamn) and the latter asks him out for coffee. Another two months of this (Joonmyun vaguely remembers thinking if their coffee breaks were considered as dates), and Yifan asks if Joonmyun wants to be his boyfriend. Over accidentally-sputtered coffee on the tabletop and five minutes later, Joonmyun answers to the affirmative.
Jongdae, his brother, had congratulated him profusely after knowing about his apparent interaction with the blond.
"You moved way too fast, but I guess that's a healthy step for you."
"That sounds oddly profound, Jongdae."
"That's because I'm smarter than you think, o Great One."
He had promptly clicked the 'end' button after that, dismissing the protests his little brother yelps on the other end of the line.
Two years into the relationship and Joonmyun thinks nothing has changed. Yifan is still as aloof as ever; a tsun – what was that again according to Jongin? Tsundere? Joonmyun can't be bothered to think about the younger boy's terms, which can only be somehow associated with his fascination for Japanese comic books. He likes to think that the only thing that has changed is the fact that Yifan now jet-sets around the world, often staying for a maximum of a month in their shared apartment, before finally packing his things up again and going to God-knows-where. Joonmyun has gotten used to this – to the lone light in their foyer whenever he comes back from work, to the comfortable quiescence of the apartment, to waking up alone and tangled in the duvet of his queen-sized bed. The empty feeling of not having your better half with you is still there, but now it has dulled into a mere throb in his chest, barely bothering him.
Sure, the both of them may have forgotten the initial thrill of being in a relationship, but Joonmyun would be lying if he'd say his love for Yifan has wavered. It's a small saving grace that Yifan at least manages to call him every night before he falls asleep, regardless of what time it is over at his place. With every "good night"s and "I love you"s, Joonmyun somehow feels like he's falling in love all over again.
"Welcome home."
Joonmyun has always prided in himself that he's one well-composed person, maintaining his dexterity even in adversity, but nothing prepares him for the deep voice that resonates within the apartment's walls as soon as he manages to ease into his slippers. Grabbing the nearest weapon he has – his umbrella might have to work for now – he squeaks when he bumps into a solid chest. All resolve starts to crumble as he feels hands try to pull him up. This is it, dear Lord am I gonna die without even seeing Yifan for the last time? he thinks, shutting his eyes closed and furiously willing his tears to go away. I don't want to leave this world ye-
"Joonmyun? Babe, why are you crying?"
To say that Joonmyun is surprised would be a very degrading understatement. Blinking his eyes open, he takes in the tufts of blond hair, the feel of big hands on his arms, and the brown eyes that seemed to be staring right into his very soul. "Yi-Yifan?"
"I'm right here. Did I scare you? I'm so sorry."
That's when Joonmyun breaks down, tears streaming down his face, like something has just broken inside him – a dam, or whatever those cheesy, clichéd novels say – constantly battering his head and gaining in on his lungs, making it almost impossible to breathe. He clutches at Yifan's dress shirt, burying his head into the latter's chest and inhaling almost desperately at the scent he has missed for so long. He doesn't know how long he was out of his proper senses (heck, Joonmyun even thinks he fainted for a while there), but when he finally, finally came to, Yifan was handing him a mug of hot chocolate (when did he make that?) and rubbing soothing concentric motions on his back. "You okay?"
Joonmyun manages to hiccup a "yes" out, reveling in the warmth of Yifan's body that emanates from his left. He barely registers his boyfriend's question if he has eaten dinner, and he nods in response, not fully trusting his voice as of the moment.
They stay like that for a few minutes, Joonmyun holding the mug between his hands, Yifan merely staring at him as he waits for Joonmyun to say anything. It's only when Joonmyun weakly gestures towards the door of their bedroom and mumbles "I have to go change", do they move; Yifan stays in the bedroom as Joonmyun takes a bath and changes into his favorite sweater and jogging pants. By the time Joonmyun's done, Yifan's already lying down on the bed, eyes closed in what seems to be a peaceful slumber.
Joonmyun's heart swells at the sight.
Taking care not to make much movement, he manages to squeeze himself under the covers, before quietly yelping when Yifan makes a move to hug him close to his chest. Joonmyun smiles a little as he tries to comfortably settle himself within his boyfriend's arms. "Yifan?"
"Hm?"
"For how long?"
Yifan chuckles, his deep voice seemingly-intent on resonating through his ears, and answers, "A year."
Joonmyun's heart may or may not have just jumped out of his chest. "That long?"
Yifan merely smiles as he takes a hold of Joonmyun's chin and kisses his forehead. "Maybe longer, depends on my talk with the Chairman tomorrow. Is that a problem?"
"N-no! It's just that - I - well, that is to say - won't you have a hard time adjusting with that?"
"Nope," the blond pops the 'p' and looks at Joonmyun straight in the eye. "You let me worry about that. Now go to sleep."
Joonmyun nods and closes his eyes, trying to wrap his head around the fact that Yifan is gonna stay.
"Joonmyun?"
"Hm?"
"I love you."
A heartbeat passes. "I love you, too."
Maybe, just maybe, he could get used to this.
fin.
- welp. i don't know how AFF works anymore.
- how do i fix this hELP ME PLS
- gdi i know this was stupid im so sorry
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