Keep up the good work:)

i enjoy this story. but it's too fast and idk to say it honestly. ; ;
i'm trying to feels this story tbh, unfortunately i can't. maybe the plot just too cliche. i'm sorry to say that. but this is your first story right?
i've already read your Chocolate Kiss *^* and i see you're improving! Practise make perfect tho o/
Keep the good work authornim o u o

this is too sweet aoinicoancifodfn ijkdnmcojfawnfokjdnfejnvfajfn /rip le feels

Chapter 1: English isn't your first language, is it? Sorry I didn't mean for that to come out harsh, but with a beta, you could definitely smooth over some grammar errors and make the flow of reading the story much more fluid.
Another suggestion I might make is in these slice of life types of AUs, to choose to one name and stay with that. You bounce back and forth between Lay and Yixing when there isn't a reason he should be called Lay, if that makes any sense.
This oneshot is pretty short, so there isn't much room for character development but it would be nicer to see someone giving Yixing the right kind of advice instead of letting him sulk on some roof top. Girls blow of steam, and most boyfriends learn sooner or later based on their girlfriend's mannerisms whether they need some space and time to cool down, etc.
I also find it slightly unrealistic how Yixing claims to love her. Maybe it's just me and I find teenagers nowadays too "in love with the idea of being in love" and think that's a bit ridiculous but having him say I really like her or something along those lines might have felt less rushed.
Please don't take any of this the wrong way. This is probably an earlier fic and god knows mine weren't the prettiest things out there either lol. I hope you'll be able to use some of my notes for further reference ^~^

Chapter 1: Lay was such a sweet boyfriend xD
if only I have one hehe
Btw the story was sweet and simple but
actually I want to know why they fought hehe
OK this is getting too long for comment
GOOD STORY ^^

Chapter 1: huhu... yixing yunmi sad sweet ff this your first ff you wrote right...its daebak.

Chapter 1: huhu... yixing yunmi sad sweet ff this your first ff you wrote right...its daebak.

Chapter 1: I really have mixed feelings about this story. I'm taking into account that since this is an oneshot and that it's one of your first stories(probably).
Now beginning with Yixing's character, I felt that he was portrayed to be the sweet and understanding kind of boyfriend, but in fact he turned out to be the annoying and doubtful.
There were times where I was like, "Stop thinking about yourself and just talk to her!"
Yunmi on the other hand had her own conflict and sometimes I felt like asking her, "why are you dating yixing?" It felt like the two did not connect at all, although I'm thankful you reconnected those feelings in the end. My favorite character would be Kris. He was the only one who sounded like a reasonable and real character. Yixing was sort of immature and Yunmi wasn't portrayed well.

I did however, enjoyed the little bits of romantic moments they had in the end. It was short, but the feelings were presented. I don't usually like to read one shots however since it goes way too fast and the character usually does not grow.

then thiiiisss < 3

woops. sorry for commenting on every stories. THIS IS SO SWEETTT