"Luhan hyung, What would you do if Sehun was still alive?" Kyungsoo asked as Kai watched them.

"I'd probably do everything to make him feel loved, to make him feel cherished... I'll do everything I couldn't do Kyungsoo. I'll do everything and make sure he keeps his promise to stay with me Here and Now." Luhan smiled sadly and looked at Kai. He saw how hurt Kai was, Sehun was his bestfriend but could do nothing when he decided to die for Luhan.

Luhan was at his room, wiping the tears that kept falling down on his cheeks, mumbling a sad tune while making different shapes on his window.  He was back still at the apartment both him and Sehun had bought.  "I Miss You" He sniffled and started crying once again "I Miss You Sehun..." he mumbled and fell asleep as he was doing so.

"Luhan!" A voice shouted and Luhan felt so tired, tired to stand up.. tired to do anything, tired to see the world and tired to live. He took a deep breathe and sighed "Where are you?" He said and immediately remembered Sehun, he couldn't help but want to tear up as he remembered his Lover. "Luhan-ah, Let's go visit Sehun's grave" Kyungsoo said with his boyfriend Jongin behind him. He gave a sad smile and nodded, "I'll just go change my clothes.. You can sit down on the couch first" he mumbled softly but enough to be heard by the two, he went upstairs immediately to change his clothes.

He could still remember how everyone looked at him when he woke up after he got a Heart Transplant.

"Because of you..." Jongin mumbled and looked at Luhan, Pain visible in his eyes "Sehun's gone" he said as a tear slipped his cheek "Jongin.. Calm down" Kyungsoo mumbled and hugged the younger "My bestfriend since birth hyung.. He's gone... He..." he sniffled and clutched Kyungsoo's jacket tightly.  Luhan couldn't believe what he heard, his eyes widened and clutched his chest "Y-Your j-jo-joking r-right?" he said with a shaky tone "What makes you think I would make a Joke like that when I'm already crying?" Jongin said and left the room "Jongin!" Kyungsoo looked at Luhan and sighed, mouthing a Sorry as he went to find Jongin.

Luhan looked around him, The closest ones to him were there.. His bestfriends. Everyone. Except the one he wanted to see the most. "W-Where's Sehun?" Luhan said as he looked at the person's around him but no one dared to look at him "J-Jongin's lying right?" he said and still no one looked at him "Sehun! Y-You can come out now! This isn't a funny joke!" He shouted but no smiling Sehun popped out "Sehun! Where are you! You really fooled me this time but please show yourself!" he shouted and Suho looked at him with sorrow in his eyes. "Sehun's gone!" Suho shouted as his feelings overpowered his calmness. "Sehun's gone! He gave his heart to you! Because he loved you! Even though we all said No! He still went to do it!  he loves you alot! He loves you alot Luhan!" Suho screamed, crying hysterically... Lay hugged him tightly, trying to comfort him with hugs and soft whispers of encouraging words.

"He's gone..." Suho cried "My little brother is gone" He shouted and looked at Luhan "Sehun's Gone for Good!" He screamed and ran away.

Luhan remembered how he cried for endless nights, even till now. "Let's go?" he mumbled and tried smiling at the couple. Kyungsoo and Jongin looked at each other and sighed "Let's go Luhan hyung" They both said and smiled at him. It had been months since Sehun's death, Jongin forgave him... Suho forgave him, Everyone who said No when Sehun said that he would give Luhan his heart forgave him because they all knew... Sehun would've done anything to keep Luhan alive even if it costed his life. Just like before. Maybe Sehun didn't lose his life that time yet, but he kept losing his heart... It kept being shattered by Luhan again and again. Remember?

"Hi Sehunnie" Luhan mumbled and touched Sehun's grave as Jongin and Kyungsoo watched him. "Hyung misses you..  Hyung needs you... Won't you comeback?" he smiled bitterly and wiped the tears that were falling down on his cheeks again. Jongin and Kyungsoo looked at each other and nodded their heads, knowing that it was time for Luhan to have some alone time with Sehun's grave.

"Hey Sehunnie, Did you miss hyung? Hyung misses you alot! I'm sorry if.. I couldn't come visit you all these months, I didn't mean to make you feel lonely.. I.. I was just sad and.. I couldn't take it.. I'm sorry..." he mumbled as he started crying once again

"I'll comeback when its Christmas time... Okay Sehunnie? I'll make sure you have the best Christmas time..." Luhan smiled sadly as he stood up and left the flowers he was holding since earlier on Sehun's grave.

"I Love You"

"Good Morning Luhan hyung!" A smiling Sehun appeared infront of Luhan. A smiling Sehun? Luhan's eyes widened at the realization and looked at the boy infront of him. "S-Sehun..."

"Yes Hyung? Hyung! Why are you crying... Don't cry Hyung! Sehunnie is here!" Sehun's eyes became two crescent moons as he hugged Luhan. Scent. Sehun's scent.  He missed that alot "I missed you Sehun-ah" Luhan cried "What are you saying Luhan hyung? I've always been here" He smiled softly and brushed off Luhan's bangs.

"Pretty" A smiling Sehun said as he went forward and kissed Luhan.
 

"Sehun!" Luhan breathed heavily as he woke up from such a sweet dream that seemed like the Reality, but no... Reality was really far from his Sweet Dreams.

"I'm sorry Sehun-ah.. I'm sorry" He mumbled as he clutched his chest "If hyung.. Treated you right... You would've..." He cried and ended up falling asleep again with dry tears on his cheeks.

Luhan woke up a few moments later. "Luhan hyung! Wake up wake up wake up!" Sehun squealed, Luhan slowly opened his eyes and really. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. It was Sehun. His Sehun. "This is probably a dream again isn't it?" He sighed and tapped both of his cheeks "Wake Up already Lu, Sehun's dead" He mumbled not knowing that Sehun heard it too. "Hyung, I promise. This isn't a dream. You could touch me or I could pinch you just to prove it" He giggled "Or do you really want me dead?" Sehun puffed his cheeks out and hugged Luhan tightly "Here! Try and touch me!" Luhan nodded and touched him, well wow. That felt so real. But still, touches in dreams are normal. Knowing that Luhan isn't convinced, Sehun pinched Luhan's arm making the elder scream with pain "Ouch Ouch! Stop pinching me!"   Luhan squealed and yep, this really wasn't a dream.

"You.. you're real..." Luhan said and caressed Sehun's face softly "I'm real hyung, Totally real." He smiled softly and hugged Luhan "Maybe you had a bad dream?" Sehun asked and Luhan immediately whispered a soft "Yes, a really really... bad dream. I had a nightmare Sehunnie", Sehun pecked Luhan's cheeks softly "Its just a dream hyung, Just a dream. I'm here and Alive. Isn't that all that matters?" he asked as his eyes shone due to the reflecting sunlight "Yes Sehunnie.. That's all that matters" He smiled and pushed Sehun to bed "Now lets go sleep" he mumbled and fell asleep with warmth around his waist.

Sehun smiled softly as he caressed Luhan’s cheeks gently “I love you hyung, I love you. I really love you” He hummed as tears slowly fell down on his cheeks. “Always.”

Luhan woke up a few moments later and looked at his sight “I knew it… It was just a dream” he sighed and he could feel the tears streaming down his cheeks “Luhan hyung! I made foo---“ Sehun blinked and saw Luhan crying “Did you have a bad dream again?” he tilted his head and hugged Luhan “No Sehunnie, I’m just glad that you’re here” he mumbled, Sehun giggled quietly “Stop making me feel butterflies in my stomach Hyung! Lets eat already, I made food for us!” he smiled gently and wiped the tears from Luhan’s cheeks. Luhan nodded and smiled eagerly “Okay!”

“So how does it taste Hyung? Its Sehunnie’s special fried rice with bacon and eggs!” Sehun giggled feeling happy being with his hyung “It tastes great Sehun-ah” he smiled and patted Sehun’s head. “How about we go to the mall later Sehunnie?” Luhan asked, Sehun looked away and bit his lip “Okay hyung” he smiled, and Luhan couldn’t help but feel something wrong with that smile.

At the mall, Luhan held Sehun’s hand and interlaced their fingers. Mostly it was Sehun doing that but Luhan wanted to make Sehun feel loved. Sehun giggled quietly like a teenage girl in his first year of Highschool falling in love for the first time and going to a date with her first ever boyfriend. “Shall we get bubble teas?” Luhan asked and looked at Sehun, he nodded eagerly “Chocolate!”

“Sehun-ah~ Go fit this in the dressing room! Hurry! Hurry!” Luhan squealed and pushed Sehun to one of the dressing rooms with different pairs of shirts. “Okay Okay!” Sehun smiled and went inside one of the stalls. Luhan sat down on one of the chairs and saw Kyungsoo and Kai “Kyungsoo! Kai!” Luhan shouted but only enough for the couple to hear him “Hey there Hyung” Kyungsoo smiled as they neared to Luhan “Are you with Sehun?” Kai asked with a cute smile on his lips as he held Kyungsoo’s hand “Yup! He’s in the fitting room right now though” he mumbled and puffed out his cheeks “Is that so Hyung? Well me and Pororo here are going to go to the cinemas first before we’re late. Send our regards to him~” Kai said happily and immediately pulled Kyungsoo to the next floor.

So it really was true, Sehun was alive and everything bad that happened was just a really bad dream. “So hyung, how does it look?” Sehun spun and smiled, eyes crinkling into crescent moons “It looks good Sehunnie! But I think I’d look better in it” he smirked childishly making Sehun pout “Meanie~” “But I’m your meanie~”  

“Lets go and pay for these clothes now Sehunnie~ and go to our next stop!” Luhan said and pulled Sehun to the cashier “Okay hyung” Sehun looked at Luhan and smiled gently. “How much?” Luhan asked and the cashier replied with a soft voice. Sehun looked around and saw something, catching his attention he went to the shop he saw. "Sehun-ah! I've finished paying shall we go to our next sto---" Before Luhan could continue his words Sehun was gone, Sehun was go--- "Oh Hyung!" Sehun panted looking at Luhan with a smile tugging his lips "I'm sorry, I was looking at something." Sehun pecked Luhan's cheeks "Wai--- Hyung, Why are you crying? Hyung don't cry" He said with a soft hum and hugged him "Don't cry hyung, I'm here..." Luhan shook his head and hugged him tightly not caring about his surroundings "Don't you dare scare me again" He huffed and pouted "I wont Hyung, I won't anymore." He smiled and wiped the tears away from Luhan's cheek.

"Sehunnie~!" Energetic Joonmyeon suddenly hugged his little brother Sehun from the back "Hey Hyung" He giggled "Hello there Lu~" Lay said and smiled at Luhan "Hey~", "Are you both on a date? And you didn't even tell me! How could both of you do that!" Suho acted as if he was hurt and got pierced in the heart, The three of them laughed at Suho's actions. "Pfft~ Don't do that hyung, You're so embarrassing!" Sehun laughed and pecked Suho's cheek. Suho just smiled at patted his head, Lay coughed a bit and pouted "Ah~ Sorry, we'll be going now! I don't want Unicorn hyung here to be pouting all day~" Suho smiled and bid goodbye to the other couple.

The day was finished, Luhan thought it was somewhat like a snap of a finger. Once its done its already gone. Sehun was humming a soft tune as he brushed Luhan’s hair softly, staring at the beautiful brown eyes. “Sehunnie” Luhan said as he looked at Sehun “Yes hyung?” Sehun replied with a smile “I love you” Luhan said with a soft smile, “I love you too Luhan ge~” He smiled sadly and his mouth slowly opened, a voiceless sentence came “But its time for you to wake up and move on” Sehun closed his eyes, letting a tear slip. "I'll miss you Luhan Ge... " Sehun mumbled as he walked outside the lonely house, soft white droplets fell onto his hair and body "Merry Christmas...".

Luhan shook awake as he panted, he looked around and saw the walls that were painted white and blue that had no life, he was hearing the heart monitor as he looked around. “Doctor! My friend is awake! Doctor!” Junmyeon said. “Junmyeon?” Luhan mumbled softly and Junmyeon looked at him with sad eyes “you’re finally awake”.

--------

I actually only added two paragraphs to this,  I wanted it to be longer and more dramatic but I think it would've
ruined the flow of the story ;u; I'm so sorry if I didn't reach your expectations and if this came more late than it
should have been. TT-TT I hope you're all still here with me and reading this.

I honestly think Kokoro was better than this OTL ugh. I'm so sorryyyyy T^T it took me a year to update this
i'm really really really sorry ;u;

//hugglesyouall

Belated Merry Christmas for last year and Advance Merry Christmas >^<"

~missfluffysoo