Sitting in the bathtub with what seemed like a white cloud of bubbles a soft smile spread across Chaerin's lips as thoughts of the man she had been in love with for the past four years came to her mind.

Chaerin loved him more than words could ever describe, he had became the air she breathed the water she craved and the piece of mind she needed to survive in this world. He had become her life, her joy and now he was her pain.

Kwon Jiyong the man in question, the man she had fallen so deeply in love with, she had fallen so deep she saw no escape from it but it wasn't like she wanted to be free of these feelings anyway she loved him with every fiber of her being. This man had stolen her heart and very soul with just a simple smile. He had also turned into the one who had broken her dreams and her love.

Her smile slowly fading as a soft numbing pain spread throughout her her body. The joyful memories from their past flooding her mind in quick flashes, memories that should have brought her ease and comfort now only bringing pain and sorrow.

"Where did it all go wrong?" She asked herself as she felt her toes going numb in the hot water that was meant to help ease the coldness she was feeling in her heart.

Closing her eyes she let her head fall back and lay on the tub as she focused on the soft mountain of bubbles. Her mind drifting off to their first meeting.

"Jiyong this is Chaerin, she'll be a new trainee here at YG." Teddy said as he introduced her to YGE's pride and glory.

"Hi." Jiyong said a big toothy smile on his face. And at the sight of his smile all her words escaped her for a moment as her heart began to beat wildly and her cheeks began to flush. "Welcome to YG, I hope we can become good friends." He said as he looked at her his brown eyes pulling her in deeper with each passing moment.

"Please take care of me in the future." Chaerin stuttered as she bowed her head hoping she didn't look like a complete fool. And from that first encounter she knew she was in trouble.

She felt herself chuckle at the thought of that long forgotten memory. 'I was so innocent then.' She thought to herself as the numbness in her toes gradually made its way up legs wrapping around her calves pulling her slowly into the abyss of darkness.

Then she had another flash of her past as the tears in her eyes began to flow hot over her cheeks, the trail of her tears searing her skin with each new path they made.

"Chae I think....no I know I've fallen in love with you." The words he told her when he came to her dorm on the night before she was to debut. The smell of soju strong on his breath. A confession that made her heart race, a confession she was ready to dismiss because he had been drinking, but when she looked into his eyes she saw his sincerity and honesty. Chaerin even found herself laughing softly as he stood there the apple of his cheeks tinting a soft pink as he rocked back and forth on his heels and playing with his fingers while he waited for her reply, a reply he got in the form of their first kiss.

She felt her chest tighten and become heavy, the numbness creeping up her waist and hugging her tight like a lover would. And as her body slid further down into the water another flash of memories ran through her mind.

"Chae-ah, baby I'm sorry but I promise you nothing ever happened between me and Kiko." Jiyong cried as he held on to her waist his face buried in her stomach while on his knees.

"Really then what the hell was she calling you for at two in the ing morning, and what about the pictures of you two at the amusement park?" Chae cried as she tried to pull away from him, her tears falling on his face.

"Baby I swear we were all just hanging out together that day. And I told her I made it clear that you are my only one Chae please baby, I promise I would never do anything to hurt you." He cried as he held on to her tighter.

That was their first major fight that they had ever had. That night the two of them shed many tears. It was also the first night Chaerin had given herself to Jiyong completely. The way he kissed and caressed her body is still fresh in her mind. And to this day Chaerin has never told him that she knew he would never cheat on her with Kiko and that in fact the thing that really hurt her was that he could openly go out and have fun with a woman who wasn't her. The two of them having to always hide their love from the public always weighed heavy on her mind and broke her heart, but she never said anything and played strong for him not wanting to add to his stress.

She whimpered softly at the pain in her heart caused by that memory. But that night brought the two of them closer, it was a night and memory that held such a sweet and blissful pain.

Chaerin doesn't know how or when but along the road somewhere in their love Jiyong became the source of her life, he had become more important to her than her own self and because of that before she made any decision or choice she always thought of how it would affect him before she thought of herself. He had become her reason for living and without him she didn't know how she would make it in this world.

He had become her shelter from all things wrong in the world, he was her shield from anything that would hurt her. When she read or heard the negative comments about her he was always the one to bring her into his arms and tell her.

"You are the most beautiful woman in this world Lee Chaerin and no matter what anyone says you will always be the best to me." The words he spoke as he held her close always seemed to calm her heart and make her feel as if she could take on the whole world.

Jiyong was the one who pushed her when she felt as if she just could not go on any further in this industry. He was the one who pushed YG to let her have her first solo debut even as going so far as to pay for her M/V as well as the video montage on the side of the company building. It was all his idea but to Jiyong she was worth it and more or so he said.

Kwon Jiyong was her life, he was her solace and she thought she was his. That was until two weeks ago.

"Chaerin I think we should break up...or at least a break."

And when she heard those words she felt her whole world shatter around her. The pain his words delivered to her weighed heavy on her mind and body as she struggled to hold her balance and find her words.

"Why?" The only thing that escaped her trembling lips as she grabbed the chair for support as the room began to spin out of control.

"Chae my feelings for you have just changed, I still love you but I'm just not in love with you like I was." His words sharp and straight to the point.

"But..."

Chae please don't make this harder than it has to be." He said cutting her off.

'What about forever' Chaerin thought to herself as her knees finally gave way from under her as she watched him walk out the door, the rest of their conversation a blur as the shock and reality of the situation took hold of her heart.

And as that memory flashed before  her dark brown eyes she felt the cold numbness envelope her whole her whole the heat of the water nothing but a distant thought as her almost lifeless fingers dropped the blade that was in her hand on the floor the clinking of the metal on her marble floor the last thing she heard before she sunk down further into the water.

Her eyes heavy and fluttering as she tried to focus on the now soft pink bubbles in the tub, their color getting fuzzy with each passing second. The soft pink color brought a soft smile to her now pale face as slid below welcoming her slow demise.

"Jiyong I don't understand if you still love Chae why break up with her?" Youngbae asked Jiyong as they made their way to the apartment he use to share with Chaerin.

"Because she has become to dependent on me, she's losing herself completely and it is affecting her work and personal life." He said as they walked down the hall. "I mean she's going to give up an opportunity to debut in the states because she's afraid it might strain our relationship. I just don't want her to miss her chance to be something bigger than what she is because I know she can do it and I don't want to be her hindrance is all." Jiyong said as he turned and looked at his friend.

"I guess I understand your point but why not just tell her that instead of breaking up with her, because the girls said she's taking it really hard."

"I've tried but she just won't listen, and she's not the only one having a hard time with this you know. I love Chaerin more than anything and because of that I want her to succeed." Jiyong replied as he punched the code into the door. "Can we drop it for now, I just want to focus on getting the last of my things." He said as he let out a loud sigh.

"Sorry Ji, I didn't mean to upset you." Youngbae said as he patted him on his shoulder.

Walking into the apartment it had an almost eerie calm to it and it sent a shiver through Jiyong's spine as he took in the a deep breath of the unsettling air around him.

"You can start with those boxes." Jiyong said as he pointed to a neat stack of boxes sitting by the kitchen entry way.

"Gottcha." YB said as he bypassed the boxes and went straight to the fridge.

"What are you doing?" Jiyong asked with a wtf look on his face.

"Seeing what goodies Chae has in here." His answer making Jiyong shake his head.

"Whatever I'm going to grabbed some stuff out of our room." He said as he made his way down the hall.

"You mean her room, since you don't live here anymore." YB said sarcastically.

"Shut up."

As Jiyong made it closer to the room he smelt the light scent of her favorite bubble bath, the scent of strawberries and vanilla filling his nostrils.

" is she home right now?" He said under his breath.

And as he walked into the room he heard the low music of songs of a secret garden playing from the bathroom.

'She must still be depressed, thats the only time she plays that song.' Jiyong thought as he grabbed the remainder of his things out of the room when he was suddenly overcome by the strong urge to go in the bathroom.

So placing his things down on the bed he made his way to the bathroom slowly as his heart began to race for some unknown reason the air becoming heavy making it hard for him to breath.

"Chae-ah, are you in here?" He called out as he pushed the door open the smell of strawberries and vanilla invading his nostrils as well as a smell that made his stomach churn.

Swallowing the lump in his throat he took another heavy step further into the room his heart stopping at the sight before his eyes.

There in front of him a tub filled with a mountain full of of pink bubbles that seemed to get darker by the second, a solitary hand hanging over the side of the tub and a bloody blade.

"Chae...oh my god what did you do!" Jiyong yelled as he ran to the tub, the world seeming as if it had stopped in that moment.

Reaching into the crimson water he pulled her out holding her close to his body as he fell to the floor.

"Baby...what did you do?" He cried as his tears ran hot down his face, looking over her body he saw the long slit across her wrist and on instinct he grabbed a hanging towel and tied it tight hoping to slow the bleeding.

Hearing the screaming of Jiyong, Youngbae came running into the bathroom only to stop in his tracks, the sight before him making his tears flow automatically leaving him stuck in a state of disbelief until he heard Jiyong yell.

"Call an ambulance!'' Then turning back to Chaerin he started the best attempt of cpr he could manage. "Chae, baby.....wake up....please." He choked out between his tears. "Lee Chaerin wake up!" He screamed as he hit her chest once again.

And as if she heard him she gasped for air as her eyes snapped open and began to cough and spit out the water that had filled her lungs, and for the first time Jiyong felt his heart come back to life as she gasped for air. Pulling her close and holding her tight he cried.

"Oh god...I thought I lost you....Chae you can't leave me....not like this." Jiyong cried as looked down at her and moved a piece of hair out of her face.

Looking up at him Chaerin's eyes began to water as she tried to focus her cloudy eyes on his face finally finding his eyes full of tears and fear as he looked down at her. Forcing a broken smile on her blue lips she said.

"Ji...Ji...lo...ve...I."  She stopped to swallow he mouth dry. "I love...you....sor...sorry." She said her voice low and hoarse. "I'm....sorry." Chaerin cried as she fought to keep her eyes open to fight off the darkness that was coming to claim her once again.

Looking down at her Jiyong shook his head as he placed a smile on his face pulled her closer to him and caressed her face.

"No baby...I'm sorry...I lied to you, I never stopped loving you." He said through his cries his tears dripping on her face. "I love you...I will always love you, I love you love you." He said as he leaned down and placed a kiss on her cold blue lips. "I'll love you forever." He whispered against her them before pulling her tighter in his grasp and saying. "Lee Chaerin you are the most beautiful woman in the world to me....and I love you so much....please don't do this to me please." Jiyong cried as he rocked back and forth with his head buried in her neck.

The only sound to be heard by him was the breaking of his heart, as the rest of the world fell silent not even the yells of his friend breaking through.

So yeah this is what I came up with while depressed.

Let me know what you think.

Please don't hate me to long for this depressing story.

Thank You for reading.