Jonghyun walks down the long corridor in hurry. There is only one thing in his mind that encourages him to walk faster to his room. One thing that causes a wide smile spreads on his face when a familiar door finally comes to his sight. With a pounding heart, he holds the doorknob and swings it open. Right after he enters his room, Jonghyun removes his shoes hastily and steps into his dark living room. His hand roams at a certain side of the wall and finds the light switch.

“I’m home,” he announces when the lights are all on. He waits for one respond, one specific voice he has always craved to hear since the moment he opens his eyes in the morning. “Jinki?” He adds as he hears nothing.

“Yes.”

That simple word makes Jonghyun breathe out in relief. “Where are you?”

“Couch.”

He takes bouncy strides to the only couch he has in his narrow living room. He sits a little to the right side, leaving a good space between him and the armrest on the right-end of the couch. And then, he extends his right hand on the backrest.

“Where are you now?” he asks again, voice a little mischievous.

“In your arm.”

A satisfied grin makes its way to Jonghyun’s proud face.

“I always know where you are, don’t I?”

“Yes.” Jonghyun can hear the shyness in Jinki’s voice.

“Were you afraid of the dark while waiting for me to come home?”

“No.”

There is a proud smile on Jonghyun’s face knowing that Jinki is a brave person who doesn’t afraid of the dark. “I tried to leave earlier but Minho is one cruel man. He’s strict when it comes to working hour.”

“I know.” Jinki replies, simple yet able to make warmth seeps into Jonghyun’s heart.

“Have you had dinner?”

Jonghyun nods his head. “I had dinner with Minho and an old man whom I forget the name. He’s one of Minho’s patients. Minho has too many patients! –“

And so the conversation between the two continues with Jonghyun telling how his day goes. Later at 9, they will turn on the TV to watch the drama Jinki loves so much. When the show is over, Jonghyun will leave for a quick night shower, with warm water and grape scented soap – just because Jinki prefers grape over any other fruits.

“Jinki, I’ll take a super quick bath. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Wait for me, okay?”

“Okay.”

Jonghyun can’t get rid of the uneasiness he feels for leaving Jinki alone even when he is already standing in front of the bathroom door. “Jinki, where are you?” he shouts, making sure that Jinki is still there.

“I’m right here, on the couch where you leave me.”

“What are you doing?” Jonghyun can’t help but is curious about what Jinki doing while waiting for him.

“I’m waiting for you to finish your bath, just like what you told me to.”

“I’ll be back before you know it!” Jonghyun assures.

“Okay.”

Jonghyun loves the feeling of the warm water streaming down his body. He pours an unusual amount of the grape scented liquid, thinking how happy Jinki will be when he sniffs the strong aroma of grape coming from him. After wrapping a towel around his waist, Jonghyun exits the bathroom and heads straight to his wardrobe to get a fresh white T-shirt and a long pant with chicken cartoon print on it – again, because Jinki likes chicken! Once he is pleased with his look, he paces back to the living room, claiming the same spot as earlier.

“You smell like grapes, a lot of grapes.” Jinki exclaims eagerly. Jonghyun swears Jinki is smiling ear to ear now.

“I was bathing with grapes!” Jonghyun lies.

“I want to do it too.” Jonghyun knows he is pouting right now. He just knows from the way Jinki says it. “Uh, no, I think I want to bath with strawberries filling my bathtub because you like strawberries that way we can smell each other!”

Jonghyun chuckles on the silly idea. “We would look like idiots if people see us sniffling on each other.”

“It’s okay. People won’t see.”

Jonghyun looks down, eyes staring at his folded hands on his lap.

“I don’t like where this talk is going to.”

“Then we can stop.”

“Can we sleep now?”

“Yes.”

Jonghyun rises from the couch and marches to their bedroom. Another part he likes about sleeping – aside from soft sheets and thick blankets – is that Jinki will sing his self-composed song for Jonghyun. After covering himself with his thick blanket, Jonghyun closes his eyes and is ready for the song.

“Will you sing for me tonight?”

“I will.”

Jinki’s voice reminds Jonghyun of the lively sound of birds chirping outside the window of his old house in the morning, the calming sound of the waves at the sea he pays a visit every summer, the gentle sound of the grass when the mild wind blows at the meadow he visits so often with Jinki. It reminds Jonghyun of the beautiful sounds he likes the most in his life.

When the song ends, Jinki will think that Jonghyun is fast asleep – Jonghyun thinks so. And then Jonghyun smiles and Jinki’s lips turn into a cute pout because he thinks Jonghyun is deceiving him – again, Jonghyun thinks so. Without opening his eyes, Jonghyun asks “Where are you?”

“I’m here, right by your side.”

And Jonghyun smiles again.

“Don’t go anywhere, okay?”

“I’ll always be here, right by your side.”

And there comes the dreamland taking Jonghyun away from Jinki.

***

Jonghyun opens up his eyes to the blinding sunlight that seeps through his opened window. Taemin comes to his sight a moment later, with a bubbly smile and a tray on his hands.

“Good morning, Jonghyunnie. I bring your breakfast. It’s a slice of bread with nutella and a banana and a glass of chocolate milk.” His voice is as bubbly as his smile but not enough to defeat Jinki’s – in Jonghyun’s opinion. “Hurry, your work is waiting for you! Minho will nag at you if you’re late.” He warns him in a not-threatening-at-all way.

“You can leave it on the table. I’m going to take shower first.”

“Okay. See you downstairs!”

Right after he hears the sound of the door clicked, he gets out of his bed and takes a shower he has mentioned earlier. Jonghyun is the one to keep his words. He changes into his uniform before heading to the living room where Taemin has left his breakfast at. He eats rather quickly because he doesn’t want to be late.

Once he arrives at his workplace, he greets everyone with warm smiles. He sits on his desk and starts doing his job, which is checking the list of the grocery supplies of a mental hospital. At the end of the day, the chefs will hand him the list of the supplies they used that day. The next day, Jonghyun will write it down on his journal and calculates and then sees if they’re near the limit or not. If they do, he will make a phone call to their supplier so they will deliver the fresh stock of groceries. Sometimes, the chefs will demand certain items because they will need it to cook tomorrow’s menu and it is Jonghyun’s responsibility to make another call and to make sure the items arrives today so it will be ready by the time they cook breakfast. It’s a simple and fun job, Jonghyun thinks. That’s why he enjoys it a lot. He never complains. He works very diligently every day, without noticing that he is being watched by Minho and Taemin from the other side of the room.

“He’s working as usual,” Taemin comments while writing down the reports.

“Everything about Jonghyun-ssi is normal except after he’s back to his room at night.” Minho adds. Taemin can’t be oblivious to the desperation that fills Minho’s voice whenever they talk about Jonghyun. “Did he say anything this morning?”

“Nothing more than usual.” Taemin replies, also writing it down on the paper clipped on his board.

“He never makes mistakes on his works too.” Minho sighs as he rubs his forehead.

“He never does something out of his routines. Should we make him to do something out of the usual?”

Minho tilts his head a little to meet Taemin’s face, slowly getting the idea the younger trying to tell him. Minho grins and does a high five with Taemin.

“I’ll find extra works for him today. And you’re go check on other patients while I’m working this plan out, okay?”

Taemin nods and gives him his signature smile before back on writing. He writes down the plan they have for Jonghyun today. When he’s done with it, his eyes stare a little too long at the report card down there. He can see his own hand writing there; it speaks of information of the man sitting on the desk. Kim Jonghyun. 26 years old. Suffering from a heavy depression on the loss of his fiancé due to car accident and has been having a hallucination about Jinki since then. Taemin remembers the first time he is assigned as Minho’s assistant, a doctor in charge of him. Of all the patients Minho introduced to him, Kim Jonghyun is the only one that draws his interest. For the first few days, he almost thinks that maybe, just maybe, Jonghyun doesn’t belong to here. That maybe, Jonghyun is right about Jinki’s ghost that comes to visit him at nights. That maybe, it as simple as spiritual things that might be happening for real but they never come to know or believe, like fairies are real and they’re fleeing around them without they knowing. That maybe, Taemin has gone crazy from thinking hard about Jonghyun’s disease. But then, Taemin thinks that maybe Minho is right, about Jonghyun being here, about Jonghyun needing their help. Taemin thinks that a nice person like Jonghyun needs to get over his grief so he can continue his life, not getting stuck here and telling the same story about the night he spends with Jinki every time they ask him.

***

Jonghyun is beyond upset right now. He wants to blame everything, his job and his cruel boss. How could Minho give him extra jobs and didn’t give him a choice to decline? How could Minho refuse to let him bring his work home even though he has promised him it would be finished by the time he arrives at work? How could Minho not give him the fifth-teen minutes – to go back to his room and tell Jinki he would be late and then go back to his work again – that short amount of time to Jonghyun no matter how pleaded for it? It’s half past 9 when Jonghyun is discharged. He doesn’t walk like he usually does, no smiles on his face or a stammering heart he have that day on his way back to his room. He is running fast, taking stairs instead of lift because he has no patience left to wait for the lift to go down from its current floor to the first floor. He ignores the pain on his legs as he ascends the stairs to the fourth floor as fast as possible. He can’t make the love of his life waiting for him this long.

Jinki is waiting for him alone in the darkness of his living room.

Jinki’s favourite TV show has started about forty minutes ago.

Jinki must be very sad. He might be crying right now.

He fills up his head with those thoughts. It’s better than thinking that Jinki might not be in his living room right now because he is taking too long to come home and Jinki has waited long enough to finally give up. No, that can’t be happening. A night without Jinki can’t be happening.

When Jonghyun sees his door frame, he bangs the door open and slam it shut harshly. He kicks off his shoes and stumbles on his way to find the light switch. “Jinki? Jinki, I’m home. Jinki? Jinki? I’m here –“ he doesn’t stop calling Jinki’s name. Tears are streaming down his sweaty cheeks as he slips down the floor, bringing his knees to his chest and burying his face there. He keeps calling out Jinki’s name. He’s afraid if he doesn’t do so, silence will eat him up. He isn’t ready for the fact that Jinki isn’t there, waiting for him as usual. But in between his hopeless calls and pathetic sobs, he can hear that faint answer coming from the voice he has known very well. He holds his cry for awhile just so he can hear it clearer.

“I’m here. I’m here, Jonghyun.”

Jonghyun’s body shakes as he laughs with tears still spilling down his cheeks. How stupid he is, thinking that Jinki will leave him just because he’s taking too long to come home, to switch the light on for him, to turn the TV on for him. How could he think of his understanding Jinki that way?

Jonghyun wipes his tears out and calms himself down before asking Jinki, “Where are you?”

“I’m here, right by your side. Don’t cry, love. Because I’m here, just right by your side.”

Do you like it?

Check out my other Jongyu stories Safe and Sound and The Fourth World

Thanks for reading ^^