I just hate everything here.

The ignorant people I'm working with. Hearing a foreign language 24/7.
Constant dieting and practice. Sasaeng fans. The so-called perfection. Just everything.
But the thing I hate the most is myself. The decisions I made that brought me here.
My naive self that was so determinated to do everything possible to debut.

I sighes as I thoght about all the hard work I put in Exo in those last 3 years... and all those injuries I dealt with... They told me several times to be careful with practise, at the hospital, but my manager was still stubborn. My back is going to get even worse they said. It's getting worse anyway, so whatever. Work hard till you can, said my manager.
It's only a matter of time untill my dancing gets weak.
Untill I get kicked out.
Untill I lose my ability to move at all.

I know I have no one to blame but myself. I was the one that signed this hell out of a contract, just to stand in the spotlight. Just so people will love me and scream my name and feed my ego more and more.
Still, after those 3 years I had enough.
But there's no turn back in this game.
You either withstand or die, forgotten and in a massive debt.
There is no in between. Never. Since the company takes care of everything.

    So I'm here with the rest of the slaves as I wait for us to come out to begin the filming. A variety show. Again.
I looked at Tao. He almost sleeps standing. "You look kinda tired.", says a mc hyung that passes by.
Tired. What an understandment.
Well, it can in fact be tiring, being asked the same things everytime.
How one gained or lost weight. It's never enough though...
How we like our concept. "We really like it", what else can we say...
How our Korean got better or worse and make a bit fun of it - over and over again. And there it goes - 4 years of hard work learning a language...
But it's a joke after all.

My life is a joke.

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It´s kinda short I know but I just wanted to get some feedback like should I update it or no??

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