December 24th, 9:31

From: Dragon

I’m sorry. I think… I think we need to break up.

 

 

           December 24th, 9:33

From: Chanyeol

But why? Why?

 

 

           December 24th, 10:04

From: Dragon

I just need some time. I need to figure who I am, Chanyeol. We’ve been dating since high school. I need to know who I am outside of us.

   

      

            December 24th, 10:11

From: Chanyeol

Don’t you love me?

When you told me loved me, was that a lie?

 

 

            December 24th, 10:39

From: Kris

I’m sorry. Move on. Move on from me.

 

 

            December 24th, 10:40

From: Chanyeol

I love you. I’ve always loved you.

 

 

           December 24th, 10:44

From: Chanyeol

Please. I can be better. Please give me a chance. Please.

 

 

            December 24th, 10:44

From: Chanyeol

What did I do?

 

 

            December 24th, 11:01

From: Unknown

I love you.

 

 

            December 24th, 11:46

From Unknown:

Please answer me.

 

 

            December 24th, 11:58

From: Unknown

I hate you.

 

 

 

The brutal winter wind sweeps through Chanyeol’s coat like it’s nothing, but he plowed ahead, head bowed, frozen hands stuffed in pockets. He doesn’t dare to lift his head, but he tilts it so he can just see where he’s going. But a bitter side of him wishes a lamppost would magically appear in front of him, just so he can feel something. Anything.

 

The snow twists and whirls, tossed by the gusts of winter wind, and finally, mercifully, fall to coat the ground, just another among millions, billions. Lights in the darkness of a winter’s midnight are blurred by the thick air, but they still light the road, the sidewalk, and the closed shop’s awnings in a faint yellow-white. The light only makes the dark more evident, more black, more endless. Much like sadness and happiness. You get a tiny little bulb of happiness in your endless sadness; it makes all the other, all the darkness so much darker. It makes your sadness so much sadder. But now, now Chanyeol feels nothing. Nothing.

 

But people always say that blackness is nothing. So is that was he’s feeling? Sadness? No. Chanyeol’s had his share of sadness. This is just… nothing. Empty. A black hole where his heart used to be.

 

Isn’t it supposed to hurt when you get your heart broken? Aren’t you supposed to feel it when a couple words shatter your heart to pieces?

 

Today. Today is December 24th. Christmas Eve. One of the happiest days in the year. So why did he have to do this today? Today, of all the days. Today, it used to Chanyeol’s favorite day. The anticipation of Christmas, of presents and family and cookies and a warm fire. Gone. 

 

 

Gone.  

 

 

Chanyeol tried to trace the path his cloudy breath took as it puffed out with his eyes, but it disapeared too quickly in the air, and the eyes that were suddenly clotted with tears needed to close. He finally stopped, the only one in the sidewalk, the only one in the world, and closed his eyes as the tears, the bitter, salty tears came trickling out, betraying him. And, all at once, the pain crashed on him, a tidal wave. 

He was alone. Kris had left him, everyone had left him, he was all alone. All alone. 

 

Alone. The tears started to pour down, faster and faster, and Chanyeol felt some of them even freeze in little drops to his cheeks, tracing paths of ice from his eyes. And still he sobbed, arms wrapped around himself as if that alone would fend off the sadness, and he cried until the tears wouldn't come anymore. 

 

And when he was cried out, and just felt hollow, so hollow, he looked up from the covered sidewalk, and met the eyes of an angel.

 

His hair was brown, messy, tossed from the wind, and spotted with flakes of melting snow. His eyes were soft, outlined with black, his eyelashes blinking away the snowflakes. His skin was smooth, unmarked, slightly darker than the pure white around us. His face was young, his stature small, but he had a way of meeting Chanyeol right in the eyes. He was the most beautiful person Chanyeol had ever met.

 

"Are you okay?" The boy spoke, and his voice was warm and high and gentle, and Chanyeol had never heard a voice like that in his life. He heard his heart then, thumping, thumping. It was in his ears, his toes, from his heart. His heart. His heart.

 

When Chanyeol made no move to answer, the boy spoke again. "You look cold. Seriously, are you okay?" Chanyeol blinked, and fought the urge to cry, to cry, because he would always have tears left. Always.

 

He closed his eyes, tried to find his heart, tried to gather the pieces together enough that he could talk. When he tried to speak, all that came out was a sob, a leftover sob, so he cleared his clogged throat and tried again. "Yeah. I'm good. I'm okay." It was throaty, raw, and his voice had cracked halfway through. It sounded more like he was convincing himself than the boy in front of him, and he was. He's okay. He'll survive this pain. He'll be okay.

 

But the boy raised an eyebrow, not buying it. Chanyeol wanted to be alone. But he wanted this boy, this angel to stay. As the light from a streetlamp brought the light to Chanyeol's face, the boy squinted at him, then drew back, sadness coating his features. "You were crying."

 

Chanyeol tried in vain to hide it, wiping at his face before he remembered that the tears, cold as the air was, had frozen to his cheeks. So he ducked his head, turning away. He didn't want this strange boy to see his tears. He wanted to go home, but he wanted to see this angel again. He didn't want to be sad. 

 

The boy reached up with a soft, small hand and forced Chanyeol to look at him. He took one glance at Chanyeol, looked around as if looking for a ghost, and then took Chanyeol's frozen hand. "Come on. You need to get out of the cold," he said, and started to tug him, gently, toward a closed shop, just across the abandoned street.

 

 

Against his better judgement that this might be a kidnapping, Chanyeol let himself be dragged along like a limp doll. The beautiful boy took out a key from his pocket and inserted it in the lock, ushering Chanyeol in before reaching into the shop to flick on the lights. Slowly, flickering, the overhead lights came to life, and in front of them stretched rows, shelves, of books. Everywhere he looked, books. Jammed into wooden shelves, piled in neat stacks on a cluttered desk, covering the area behind the desk with paperbacks and hard covers. Everywhere. the shop was tiny, but it managed to store maybe a thousand books. 

 

Noting Chanyeol's awestruck expression, the boy grinned, setting his keys with a clatter on a stack of books. "I took over the shop two years ago after my dad died," the boy said, his voice a little sad.

 

"Oh." Chanyeol couldn't think of anything else to say. "I'm sorry." 

 

The boy shrugged, sighing at the same time. "Accidents happen, you know? It's no one's fault, and definitely not yours. Anyway, I the heat, so make yourself at home," he said, gesturing towards a window seat in the corner. Feeling the heat slowly thaw over his frozen skin, Chanyeol closed his eyes in relief. He hadn't realized he had been so cold. He made his way over to the window seat and sunk down in it, letting out a little sigh. The cold had been numbing, to the pain, but as the heat rushed in and warmed his cheeks and melted his tears, it un-iced the pain, and he started to feel it. Alone. Kris had left him, and he was alone. It made his heart throb.

 

"Oh, I'm sorry. That was really rude," the boy said, leaning against the wall. "I'm Baekhyun." 

 

Chanyeol looked up, and gave Baekhyun a small smile, because that's what he seemed to be expecting. "Chanyeol."

 

Baekhyun studied him for a while, with those dark eyes, then seemed to come to a decision. "Look. This really isn't my business, but I think that it sometimes helps to talk about it." 

 

Chanyeol met those eyes with a smile that was so small and so broken. "Heartbreak." 

 

Baekhyun's eyes softened even more. "I'm sorry." 

 

Chanyeol sighed again. "Yeah, well it's fine. I'm good." Baekhyun just nodded, not saying anything, giving him a little mercy over that pathetic lie.

 

"It just... It just hurts." He hadn't planned on spilling his life story to a stranger, but the words just kept coming out. "It hurts so much."

 

And then Baekhyun did an unexpected thing; he got up, sat next to Chanyeol, and hugged him. 

 

At once, Chanyoel felt his muscles unknotting, his eyes wetting, and the tears came again, and he was again crying, but this time on this strange, beautiful boy's shoulder. He would have been embarrassed, but he was so alone and broken and so, so sad. 

 

The warmth, the caring of the boy who he didn't even know was too much, and he missed Kris, and he hated Kris and he loved Kris and the boy, Baekhyun, was so small and so warm next to Chanyeol's cold. 

 

When Chanyeol finally pulled away, and wiped his tears, and looked down, Baekhyun stood up, resting a hand lightly on Chanyeol's shoulder. "You okay?" 

 

Chanyeol gave a sad attempt at a laugh, but it was better than it would have been before. "I'm okay." 

 

 

Baekhyun, with a small smile on his face, went to his desk and came back, pressing a card into Chanyeol's palm. "Here. I work seven days a week. All year round. Come by if you need it, m'kay?" 

 

Chanyeol turned the lightly dusted blue card to the light. The bookstore name. An address. A phone number. "Thanks," he told the boy, and he meant it. 

 

 

           December 31st, 5:43 

From: Luhan

Get up

 

 

           December 31st, 5:46

From: Sad Channie

No.

 

 

           December 31st, 5:48

From: Luhan

If you don't get your over here in five minutes, I will come to your house and personally drag you here.

 

 

           December 31st, 5:54

From: Luhan

I am now coming over

 

 

"Channie, the smell in here is absolutely disgusting," Luhan proclaimed as he stepped into Chanyeol's room. Chanyeol just groaned and jammed his pillow over his head. 

 

Luhan swayed over to the bed. "Get up." When Luhan uses that voice, you get up. Chanyeol got up. And glared. 

 

Luhan stuck a thin finger in his face. "Don't you glare at me. You're the one that's been pouting your room for, like, a year." 

 

Chanyeol squeezed his eyes shut. "A week, actually," he muttered. 

 

"A week. Whatever. Same thing."

 

Chanyeol silently cried. He just wanted to sleep and forget everything.

 

"Oh, no. No. You are not crawling back into this sad bed," Luhan screeched as Chanyeol unsuccessfully tried to get under the warm blankets again. Grabbing his arm, Luhan pulled brutally until he somehow managed to drag the giant off the bed and onto the floor. 

 

Whimpering, Chanyeol hugged his knees to his chest, shivering. "Go away Luhan," he said, his low voice muffled by his knees. 

 

Watching the boy, Luhan's eyes softened a little, but still he prodded at the curled up boy. "Channie, it's not gonna do you any good to mope here for the rest of your life. You need to at least get out of the house." 

 

"Come on. Get up. Get up. Get up. Get up. Get up. Get up. Get up. Get u-"

 

"Fine!" Chanyeol yelled. "I'll get up." He dragged himself off the floor until he was standing. "See? I'm up." 

 

"Um, yeah. No. Shower, please. Put on some decent clothes. For god's sake, Channie, it's New Years Eve!"

 

Chanyoel stared with dead eyes at Luhan. "So?" 

 

"So it's time for new beginnings! A new year! All that crap!" Chanyeol raised his eyebrows. Luhan rolled his eyes. "Just take a shower." 

 

"Ugghhhh." 

 

"Now." 

 

"Uggggggghhhhhhhh."

 

"NOW."

 

"Fine." 

 

 

           December 31st, 6:38

From: Luhan

I got him up

 

 

           December 31st, 6:39

From: Baozi

Did you happen to accidently kill him in the process?

 

 

           December 31st, 6:41

From: Luhan

Ha. Ha. You're hilarious, Baozi. 

 

 

           December 31st, 6:42

From: Baozi

Why thank you. I plan to become a comedian when I grow up, in fact.

 

 

           December 31st, 6:43 

From: Luhan

Good luck with that. 

 

Actually, I got him to shower and everything. And I DIDN'T KILL CHEN, I JUST TEMPERARILY KNOCKED HIM OUT

 

 

           December 31st, 6:44

From: Baozi

YOU KNOCKED HIM OUT WITH A BRICK

 

 

          December 31st, 6:45

From: Luhan

WELL YOU'RE JUST LUCKY HE DIDN'T LOSE ANY MEMORIES. AND HE WAS ANNOYING ME ANYWAY, HE DESERVED IT

 

 

           December 31st, 6:46

From: Baozi

HE DID NOT DESERVE TO BE HIT BY A BRICK ON THE HEAD JUST BECAUSE HE LOCKED YOU AND SEHUN IN A CLOSET

 

 

           December 31st, 6:47

From: Luhan

DO YOU WANT TO BE HIT WITH A BRICK?

 

 

           December 31st, 6:48

From: Baozi

Whatever. WHATEVER. Are you coming over here?

 

 

           December 31st, 6:50

From: Luhan

Apparently not. Channie's afraid to see Kris. I'm gonna try to get him to at least a bar or something tonight, though. I'll tell you if you and the others can meet us.

 

 

           December 31st, 6:50

From: Baozi

K. 

 

 

Luhan put his phone back in his pocket and fixed Chanyeol with his stare. "No. Not those pants. Not sweatpants. Put on jeans, at least." 

 

"But-"

 

"JEANS!" 

 

Chanyeol let out a huff. "Fine."

 

 

Chanyeol, grumbling, slammed his door shut as he tossed clothes around, trying to find jeans. Finally, under a pile of paper, he found a pair of black jeans and slipped into them. Black jeans, the same ones he had been wearing a week ago, when Kris... When Kris broke his heart. Suddenly, Chanyeol remembered something. Baekhyun. The card. Digging around in his pocket, his heart plummented. He couldn't have lost it. No, he couldn't have. Now becoming frantic, he searched the other pocket, and his back pockets. Finally, after a small heart attack, he found the card. Crumpled, wrinkled, but there. Readable. Chanyeol smiled, a real smile. He hadn't smiled a real smile in a week. 

 

Luhan sniffed when he are out. "Acceptable," he said, and led the way out ot his car. Starting the engine, he backed out slowly, then suddenly slammed a foot on the gas. Then a foot on the brake. The car swerved out of control, halfway out of the driveway, and Chanyeol couldn't help it- he screamed. Luhan grabbed the wheel and righted the car. As soon as they pulled onto the road, he gave the striken Chanyeol a blissful smile. Luhan was a pretty bad driver. 

 

"So... Where do you wanna go tonight?" Luhan asked him. Chanyeol had a feeling Luhan wanted to go to a bar, or a club, or something. 

 

But Chanyoel had a different idea. "Actually..."

 

 

           December 31st, 7:21

From: Baozi

Yeah... Sorry little buddy. Not going.

 

 

            December 31st, 7:21

From: Luhan

Nope. I am NOT GOING TO A FREAKIN BOOKSTORE ON NEW YEARS EVE

 

 

           December 31st, 7:28

From: Baozi

Have fun. And Channie probably likes the dude that works there. Give him a break, he just got his heart crushed. 

 

 

           December 31st, 7:29

From: Luhan

I hate you. I hate you. This is so boring. Someone help me. 

 

 

           December 31st, 7:36

From: Luhan

O. M. O. CHANNIE JUST TURNED BRIGHT RED WHEN HE SAW THE DUDE. OMO I NEED TO RECORD THIS

 THIS IS SO BORING SOMEONE HELP ME

 

BAOZI HELP ME

 

 

           December 31st, 7:44

From: Baozi

Ye-ah. No thanks. Goodbye. Try not to destroy their lives. 

 

 

 

That night, on December 31st, Chanyeol visited Baekhyun at the bookstore. After a while, Luhan just left, but the two didn't really mind. They were getting to know each other, and became friends very quickly. That night, as the clock chimed New Year, as Xiumin kissed Chen and Sehun and Luhan found themselves trapped in a closet together, and fireworks expoded the sky and raining light on the surrounding land, as the calendar flipped a page, Baekhyun took Chanyeol's hand, and they both didn't let go, as they sat, watching the fireworks from the roof, until hours after. 

 

 

 

            April 24th, 7:56

From: Channie<3

Can I come over? 

 

 

            April 24th, 7:56

From: ByunBaek

Yup:) I got some pizza and a couple movies

 

 

            April 24th, 7:57

From: Channie<3

Cool. Can I bring Luhan and Xuimin along?

 

 

            April 24th, 8:01

From: ByunBaek

Sure.

 

 

It had been about 4 months since Baekhyun and Chanyeol met, and they had become very close. So close that Luhan complained about being replaced as a best friend fairly often. Chanyeol had, for the most part, forgotten about Kris. Sometimes, the memories would come to him, and we would need to turn away, to gather himself, to remind himself that it's over, that he's gone. And memories of Baekhyun had started to replace the ones with Kris. The bookstore, Baekhyun's laugh, Baekhyun's smile. Somehow, along the road, Chanyeol had fallen for the boy. Somehow, his fragile heart had fallen again, but Chanyeol knew, or at least thought, that Baekhyun didn't and never would feel the same about him. 

 

So he contented himself with being friends, and spreading time with him. It didn't matter than Baekhyun didn't, and never would know his feelings. It was for the best. 

 

It was for the best, Chanyeol would always repeat to himself as his heart beat faster, when his face grew red, when he stammered or tripped or couldn't meet Baekhyun's eyes. 

 

 

It was for the best. 

 

 

 

           October 5th, 3:36

From: Channie<3

Hey, you wanna come over today? 

 

 

           October 5th, 3:39

From: ByunBaek

Sure:) 

 

 

Chanyeol paced the living room, a rock in his throat. Today. Today, he's had enough. Enough. He's going to confess to Baekhyun, plain and clear. He's going to get this off his chest, off his mind. He needs to do this. Now. He needs to do this now. The door opened, closed with a click. Chanyeol gulped. 

 

"Channie?" It was his voice, his perfect voice, with his light footsteps. Channie quickly hid the box in his hands behind his back. Baekhyun continued to walk through the house, occasionally calling out Chanyeol's name, but the latter was too nervous to answer, and was instead bouncing on his heels. 

 

Baekhyun stuck his head in Chanyeol's room, and broke into a smile as he saw Chanyeol. "Hey!" 

 

Then he noticed Chanyeol position, standing straight and bouncing slightly, hands clasped behind his back. "Um, Channie, are you okay? You seen kinda nervous." 

 

Chanyeol met his eyes and froze. His breaths. Loud and fast, his heartbeat thumping, thumping. Thing. His breath, in and out. In and out. He had never been so nervous in his life. 

 

"Um, ByunBaek, um. I was wondering if..." Not being able to finish the sentence, he wordlessly held out the box from behind his back, still bouncing. Baekhyun, with a slight look of worry at Chanyeol, took the little box. With his brow wrinkled adorably in confusion, he opened the box, peered inside, and lifted out a bracelet. 

 

Chanyeol had chosen this with care. The string was white, women in a complication fashion. Two charms, that he had picked out dangled from the woven bracelet. One was gold, a charm that was simple and flat gold, that gleamed in the light. On one side was a sun, with streaming flares from the circle, and the other was a Phoenix, the fire bird. Chanyeol had chosen that charm simply because he liked it. The other was a circle of silver. On one side was a simple heart. On the other, two words; Be mine.  

 

Chanyeol hoped Baekhyun liked it. Chanyeol hoped Baekhyun got the meaning, because he was too nervous to admit his love any other way. 

 

Baekhyun, his smile growing, first lifted up the golden charm. Looked at both sides, smiled even wider. Lifted up the silver charm. Everything was in slow-motion for Chanyeol. 

 

Looked at one side. His smile grew a little sweeter. Looked at the other. His smile turned a small gasp. His eyes went from the charm to Chanyeol, the charm to Chanyeol. 

 

"You really mean it, Channie?" His voice was hoarse, and Chanyeol could only nod, his mind whirling. This was a mistake. A terrible, terrible mistake. 

 

Baekhyun's eyes bore into the charm. And then, a smile. It was huge. With the bracelet dangling between his fingers, he crossed the step between him and Chanyeol, reached up, and kissed him. Chanyeol was stunned for a second, not able to process what we happening, but his brain finally caught up. He was kissing him. Baekhyun was kissing him. When Baekhyun pulled away, he smiled softly at the still dumbstruck Chanyeol. 

 

"Of course." 

 

 

 

           October 6th, 9:49

From: Sehunnie

Wait really? They kissed? 

 

 

           October 6th, 9:49

From: Luhannie

Yup. I have photographic proof

 

 

            October 6th, 9:50

From: Sehunnie

That's a bit creepy, Luhannie. 

 

 

 

Baekhyun refused to take off the bracelet, even for a couple of seconds, even to sleep, ever since Chanyeol gave it to him. It was a symbol of them, a symbol of their love. To both of them. 

 

 

 

            May 28th, 10:59

From: Channie<3

Really? You got a job? Where?

 

 

            May 28th, 11:01

From: ByunBaek

At SM:) I'm a translator!

 

 

             May 28th, 11:03

From: Channie<3

Wow! Do you get to meet any idols?

 

 

           May 28th, 11:04

From: ByunBaek

I haven't yet... But I hope I get to!

But I g2g, my job starts early in the mornings:(

 

 

            May 28th, 11:05

From: Channie<3

Aw:'( Goodnight~

Love you

 

 

            May 28th, 11:05

From: ByunBaek

I love you too<3 

Goodnight!

 

 

 

            

            December 3rd, 6:29

From: Channie<3

Can you come over tonight?

 

            December 3rd, 7:09

From: ByunBaek

No, Im sorry:( Work....

 

 

            December 3rd, 7:10

From: Channie<3

It's okay... Love you...

 See you tomorrow?

 

 

 

As Baekhyun began to rise in the ranks of SM, the workload got heavier, and as a result, the two saw each other less and less. From everyday a week, to a couple, until, a year after, it was lucky if Chanyeol was able to see Baekhyun a single time in two months, or even more. But Chanyeol stayed by Baekhyun's side, supporting him, loving him all the way. His love had grown, grown so much, over the years that he had know Baekhyun, and he was blinded by love. He was blinded by the way Chanyeol had began to pull away, began to be distant, because he loved Baekhyun, and that's all that matters. But his heart had started to hurt. He started to feel lonely, feel abandoned. 

 

That's all that matters, Chanyeol would repeat, over and over. Over and over.

 

Over, and over.

 

 

 

 

           November 27th, 7:09

From: Luhan

CHANNIE, YOU ARE GETTING OFF THAT SORRY FOR A NIGHT AND WE ARE SO GOING CLUBING

 

 

           November 27th, 7:11

From: Chanyeol

Um. I'm good. 

 

 

           November 27th, 7:12

From: Luhan

No. no, you're not. I AM IN FRONT OF YOUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW. DO YOU WANT TO COME OUT IN THE NEXT FIVE SECONDS OR DO I HAVE TO GO IN THERE

 

 

10 seconds later, a depression, annoyed Chanyeol slumped out the house and sat down, hard, in the passengers seat. "Where are we going?" He asked, like he really didn't care. Baekhyun was the only thing that was on hits mind. And his heart hurt. It hurts so much. He missed Baekhyun, he missed him a lot, but the latter didn't seem to feel the same. He was always happy, chirpy, but so far away. Chanyeol, meanwhile, was suffering. He was growing thin. His eyes had bags, dark shadows, and he was pale, lifeless. 

Luhan pulled out with a whoop. "Clubbing, baby!" Chanyeol groaned. 

 

 

Two hours later, Chanyeol felt light. Chanyeol felt happy. It made him want to smile and bounce around and hug everyone. He hadn't felt like this in a long, long time. Chanyeol assumed it was the alcohol speaking, but he really didn't care. He couldn't find Luhan through all the people, but he meet a guy that looks nice so Chanyeol guessed that Luhan was fine and this new guy was nice and that this nice guy would make him smile more. 

 

Two and a half hours later, Luhan managed to push aside the crowds of people. He hadn't seen Chanyeol in a while, and the giant might want to leave. As he scanned the room, he saw a couple making out... And another... And anothe- wait. Chanyeol. That was Chanyeol and someone else. Luhan pulled out his phone, and snapped a picture of Chanyeol and Baekhyun. This was so going in the photo album. He lumbered up to the two, and, with the exaggerated care of a man who's had a bit too much to drink, he set down the phone and pooked Chanyeol's shoulder.

 

"Chhhhannie, lets go," he said, and Chanyeol looked up, his eyelids lowered and a stupid, big smile on his face. As me moved, the guy under him moved too, and Luhan realized something; That wasn't Baekhyun. But he shrugged, his drunk mind brushing it off. Oh well. 

 

Chanyeol stumbled to his feet and gave a wave to the guy that was definitely not Baekhyun. "Bye~" he sang, before walking away, grabbing his phone as he went. Luhan made to follow him, but he couldn't find him phone. Luhan could have sworn he had put it on the table. Luhan shrugged again.

 

Whatever. 

 

 

 

            December 23rd, 8:05

From: Channie<3 

Hey, how are you? I haven't seen you in weeks:'( 

 

 

            December 23rd, 8:09

From: ByunBaek

I'm good... Just tired. Can I come over?

 

 

            December 23rd, 8:09

From: Channie<3

Sure! :)

 

 

 

That night was the first time the tow had seen each other in a month, their longest separation by more than a week. Chanyeol, ever since that night where he had went to a club with Luhan and gotten completely, overly drunk, had been edgy. Something was wrong, he felt it in his bones, but he just brushed it off as being caused by being away from Baekhyun for so long. That night, they watched several movies, cuddling on the couch. Baekhyun was tired, really tired, but he had perked up with the help of some caffeine, and with both of them there, it almost felt like the old days. Baekhyun still wore the bracelet, and the sight if it made Chanyeol smile. It felt like years ago. Almost. 

 

Baekhyun got up to go to the bathroom, but after long minutes stetching past, with Baekhyun still not back, Chanyeol, worried, pushed himself off the couch and went to investigate. 

 

Baekhyun wasn't in the bathroom, but he was in Chanyeol's room, where he checked next. He was standing, sticken, in the middle. In this hand was Luhan's phone, which Chanyeol had somehow found in my picket and forgotten to return, and he was staring, hard, at the screen. His eyes were wide, they were angry, they were sad, they were everything at once, and when Baekhyun tore his gaze away from the screen to Chanyeol, they were shiny with tears.

 

When Baekhyun saw him, his eyes thinned. His jaw set, even as a tear, a single tear, fell. And Chanyeol, in his heart and his mind and everywhere, everywhere, felt something was so terribly wrong.

He started to reach towards the boy, the boy who was still so beautiful, but Baekhyun backed up, the phone dropping from his nerveless hands. He was shaking his head, he was backing up, he was scared, he was angry and he was sad and he was heartbroken and all those, all those thoughts and feelings were being sent right to Chanyeol, and Chanyeol was so, so confused and he didn't want Baekhyun to go, because he somehow knew he was going to and he couldn't. Baekhyun couldn't go, becuase Chanyeol loved him so, so, so much and he needs him, he needs this beautiful, caring boy in front of him.

 

"No." It was Baekhyun, his voice trembling, and Chanyeol somehow knew, without knowing the cause, that Baekhyun was going to leave him and he can't, he can't leave him. 

 

"Channie..." Baekhyun started, searching his eyes, but then his own dark eyes hardened, even as more tears fell, fell, and Chanyeol was crying now, because this one, in front of him, was the love of his life and no, no. 

 

 

"Go away." It was Baekhyun, and Chanyeol's eyes blurred from the tears that just kept coming, and he was reaching, he was reaching towards the boy he loved but the boy was backing away, shaking his head, speaking, burning, scorching, tearing, ripping. 

 

"I thought you loved me," Baekhyun whispered, his voice trembling, his eyes wide and his tears falling, falling. 

 

"I do!" Chanyeol was sobbing, his voice was thick and hoarse but he needed to tell this boy, this beautiful and caring and loving boy that he did, he did love him with all his heart. "I love you," he said now, so soft and so full of pain, pain. No. No, this isn't happening. This can't happen. 

 

"So why? Why?" Baekhyun was still whispering, still backing up, and with every word Chanyeol felt his heart tear to shreds, tear, tear, tear to shreds.

 

Chanyeol couldn't speak now, he couldn't speak, he could only reach, and hope, and cry, and reach for this boy that was going, that was disappearing, but no, because he knew, somewhere, that if he left now, he wouldn't come back. He would never come back, and Chanyeol would be all alone and Chanyeol can't, can't be all alone because he loves him, he loves this boy in front of him.

 

 

Baekhyun, with tears streaming down and his eyes red and his eyeliner running, stopped, and for a painful, horrible second Chanyeol thought he was stopping for good. But Baekhyun had only stopped to say this. 

 

"Goodbye, Chanyeol." And then, then, then he was gone, and Chanyeol was alone. So alone, so, so alone.

 

Alone.

 

 

 

         December 24th, 11:55

From: Unknown

Package for Park Chanyeol. Corner of 11th and 5th. 

 

 

 

Chanyeol looked down, at the tiny box, neatly wrapped, in his trembling, red fingers. He fumbled for the ribbon, but managed to slid it off, where it lay, abandoned, in the snow. He didn't feel the cold. He just felt the horrible, horrible pain. The pain of heartbreak. In the box, laying neatly in a twist, was a bracelet. White string, tied and looped together, clean and crisp, but slightly unraveling at the ends. And pendants, a silver pendant and a gold. The gold with a Phoenix on one side, a sun on the other. The silver, with a gracefully carved heart one side, and two words, written in looping cursive, on the other.

 

And then, the clock showing 11:58, with the white swirling around him, and the lamppost glowing softly, and the air crisp and soft and so, so cold, and the flakes of snow muffling the non-existent sounds, Chanyeol, a boy that had just had his heart broken a second time on Christmas Eve, knelt in the soaking snow, and cried.