His eyes that looked only at me.

His smile that shined brighter than the stars.

His touch that made me feel warm inside and out.

His hug that made me feel safe and protected.

His fingers that fit perfectly with mine.

His lips that made me feel complete and alive.

I missed it. I missed our moments together. I missed everything that we had. I missed him so ing much it hurts so badly. The pain. It's eating me alive. It's like I'm being cut alive. My heart was broken beyond repair. No amount of time will heal it. It'll never be whole again. Broken things can never be perfect again. I couldn't breathe. It's killing me.

I couldn't let go. I couldn't move on. I tried. I really tried. But no matter how hard I tried, I just can't. Everybody's telling me to accept the fact that he's gone. He won't be coming back. Let him go, they said. Easier said than done. I love him. I really love him. With all my heart. I love him so much. Too much. I shouldn't have but I did. And now the too much is killing me. Even after he left, my love for him remained the same, if not bigger. Deeper. He never left my mind. Not once. Not a second passed by when I'm not thinking about him. He's always there. Because forgetting him is like forgetting myself.

I'm scared. Scared of everything. Without him by my side, everything seems scary. I can't face the world alone. I can't. But it'll soon be okay. Everything will be alright. Both him and I. We'll be fine. There won't be any more pain after this. No more pain. No more sadness. No more loneliness. No more tears will be shed.

I can't love if it's not him and I'm sure he feels the same. So I'm going to him now. I hope he's waiting for me. I hope he didn't wander off too far so I will be able to find him. So we can love again. Be happy again. Be complete again.

I'm going to you now. Wait for me, okay? I'm really afraid now. And this really hurts. But soon I won't be feeling any pain, right? I'll soon be reunited with you, right? I'll endure this temporary pain. This is nothing. Because I'll be able to to see you again after this.

I can't feel the pain anymore. The tiredness is kicking in. I'm feeling sleepy. I'm going to sleep now. When I open my eyes, I want to see your face, okay?

Let's meet again up there, Yunho.

-Jae Joong-