*Kai's POV

 

It's been two and a half years since I've met the girl who always left me hanging, the girl who was always three steps ahead of me, the girl who have always kept me on my toes and the girl who taught me what's it feels like to love and to be loved. Even though we have encountered so many problems and situations that almost tore us apart, we're still here. Stronger than ever.

 

I look at Hye Kyung, teaching our year old son about the colors. I watch her smile and color with him, Hyo Jae has her smile and her energy.

 

"Yah, won't Appa Jongin join us?" she asks, they both look expectantly at me and I laugh. Standing up, I run towards them and engulf them in a hug.

 

We were coloring a butterfly when Hyo Jae gets a piece of paper and draws us. He's so creative for such a small kid.

 

"Wah. Jae Jae is so great. Kyeopta~ Do you want to know how Appa and Omma met?" Hye Kyung asks and he nods. She looks at me and we laugh, we always told him about a cliché story. How Hye Kyung was a princess and I was prince but it was far from that.

 

It was a lazy day for us and we were just sprawled on the practice room's floor when Chan Mi -our manager and Baekhyun's girl- told us to visit the trainees.

 

"Ughhh. We're lazy." Chen tells her.

 

"Hey, don't you remember when we were trainees and how happy we were when our sunbaes would visit and cheer us on?" Baekhyun tells us. So we all stand up and make our way to the trainee room. We were watching them from a one way mirror and Chan Mi smiles -I don't really know why but she probably knows one or a few of them.

 

"Tch. I don't know why they placed the girl in the front; she doesn't know how to dance." I scoff.

 

"Yah! Hyung, you weren't such a good dancer when you were small. It takes practice that's all." Sehun says, defending her.

 

"Besides, have you noticed her expressions? She dances like no one is watching and she dances from the heart." Suho Hyung adds.

 

Whatever. Minutes later we show ourselves and they all light up especially that girl in the middle.

 

"Chan Mi-ah!" she screams, enveloping Chan Mi in a hug and gushing on about how she missed her. So they do know each other.

 

I go to practice dancing while they talk to each other and it seems like the guys like her. She's so noisy, it hurts my ears. She's always laughing and I don't even know if there's a reason. 10 minutes later we leave and the others were hyper.

 

"Wah Hye Kyung is really fun, she's like sunlight. Her laugh is contagious." Suho Hyung says and they all agree.

 

So, her name is Hye Kyung. Psh. What's so good about a girl who always seems to be yelling?

 

That night I couldn't sleep so I decide to practice instead of wasting time just staring at the ceiling and before I got to our practice room I heard something. It sounded like a piano piece and it’s coming from the trainee's practice room. The lights weren't fully on but there was a glint of light near the mirrors and I was debating on whether to take a peek or not. What if it’s a ghost? But something told me that I should take a look. So, gulping and bringing all my courage out. I look through the opening on the door and sigh in relief. It's human. I squint, the figure seems familiar and for about 2 minutes I just stare until I realize who she is.

 

It's Hye Kyung and she's dancing a different genre, a genre that suits her more. She's doing expressionism, dancing out how she feels in time with the music. The song sounds so broken and she looks that way, she looks like she's been broken. Ever since that night it’s been my habit to watch her for at least 5 minutes before I practice. Sometimes she'd practice their choreographed dance but she'd do freestyle more of often and I liked it that way.

 

It's been two weeks since I started watching her and I planned to do the same that night but fate decided to push me because when I went to take a peek I saw her lying on the floor, not moving, music on a minimum and I didn't think -I couldn't- I just took action.

 

I go in, kneel beside her and shake her. Checking for her pulse, finding any signs of a wound or any trace of blood.

 

"Gwenchana? Hye Kyung-shi? Are you okay?" I say, my voice noticeably panicked. I shake her and her eyes open.

 

"Kai-shi? What are you doing here?" she asks, sitting up and massaging her forehead.

 

"Are you okay? What happened?" I ask, still checking for wounds. She laughs and I stop, confused.

 

"I'm fine. I just really lay down and not move sometimes. I let my thoughts consume me, to appreciate everything that I have. Don't you think people need to that more often? Take time to think of all that they have and appreciate them?" she asks, standing up and stretching.

 

What? What is she talking about? I stand up and was about to go when she speaks again.

 

"Why don't you just practice here? It's a bit lonely and scary when I'm alone." she says and I turn around to see her smiling. She had bags under her eyes, hair tied up; she wore an oversized shirt, sweatpants and shoes. She looked stress, plain but happy and I wonder how that could be. Doesn't she have any problems? I just shrug and put my bag down.

 

"Don't you agree?" she asks while I stretched and that was the start of the conversation that I would never like to end.

 

"Agree to what?"

 

"That we need to appreciate things like you for instance. Have you ever paused to think about everything you have? Exo -your brothers-, your fans and other things. Have you ever paused to appreciate them all? “She answers.

 

"Now that I think about it, not really. Our schedule has been so hectic that we don't even get to eat sometimes." I answer and reach for my toes.

 

"Oh yeah. How did you know my name?" she asks, while she raised her leg up into a straight line.

 

"Oh. Uhmm. I heard it from the others." I answer her.

 

Just like this, it became a habit. We would always see each other in the middle of the night to practice or sometimes to just talk. She's very open but at the same time secretive.

I came to know many things about her and I shared just as much. She's the eldest in her family, she only has one younger sister, and she likes Tom Hiddleston, Josh hutcherson, Orlando bloom, Johnny depp and many more. She likes watching movies- any genre, she loves reading books and she really loves music.

 

Some things she didn't need to tell me; like how she's addicted to banana milk and milkis -It was our first night to practice together and when we went to take a break I noticed the cartons of empty banana milk stuffed in her bag while she got another one also from her bag and when I asked her about it she would only smile and say 'I love it, it makes me happy' just like how she answers most of my questions, like how she has the most random and unstoppable cravings than anyone I know -at first she would just disappear and show up with the food she craved for (ice cream, burger, smoothie etc.) but then she needed to save up money and told me all about her cravings and how she managed it back when she was still studying. I'd find myself buying what she craved for; I don't even know the reason. Like how she loves the color blue -most of her things are blue-, how she likes cartoons and many more. Before I knew it I always find myself smiling whenever I think of her -which has become often- and I would always look forward to our late night meetings. Recently she's been working hard, asking me to watch and criticize her. She wanted to improve and I helped her.

 

Two months later I was sure that I wanted to become more than friends. I was nervous; no one knew about this and as usual we met in the practice room and I bought her milkis and a banana stuff toy. I just posted a note that said 'how would you feel about dancing with me for the rest of our lives?' then I hid, when she came in and saw the display she instantly smiled. I watch her reaction but her facial expression doesn't betray her answer.

 

"You can come out now. I won't go crazy." she yells, walking towards where I hid. I give up and show myself.

 

"So... What's this about? Dancing with you forever would be hard, it could injure us both-" I didn't let her finish; instead I cup her face and kiss her. Again, I didn't know why I did it -I never really know why I do the things I do when it comes to her and that was it.

 

I remember how we just lied down on the floor and told each other story. How we just teased each other until the morning came.

 

"Where have you been running off to in the wee hours of the morning? And why have you been smiling to your phone so much?" Suho Hyung asks as I replied to Hye Kyung's message and lock my phone.

 

"Oh you know, I practice and why Hyung, can't I smile?" I answer, not wanting to start anything.

 

"We've been noticing that you and Hye Kyung.... Have been on good terms..." Baekhyun says trying to hide his smile.

 

"What-?" I didn't even get to finish when Hye Kyung's introduction notified me of a message. I close my eyes. Ughh. She changed it again, I should've known.

 

Chanyeol, Sehun, Baekhyun and the others look at each other, raising their eyebrows. I quickly turn my phone off and hide it but they get it and turn it on. I just smirk, they don't know my pattern -I thought- but then D.O Hyung unlocks it.

 

"Wah. Look at this, look at who his wallpaper is." Chanyeol says, waving my phone in the air for everyone to see.

 

"I-I can explain. She likes changing people's wallpaper to her picture. That's the reason for that!" I say trying to defend myself.

 

"You can always change it to a different one besides how did she even get to open your phone? Does this mean she knows the pattern?" Baekhyun says and then all of them start to corner me.

 

"Jongin... Are you keeping a secret from us?" Kris says, staring into my eyes.

 

I look away, we promised we wouldn't tell anyone because she still hasn't debuted and it's going to affect her career when she does. I want her to reach her dream.

 

"Jongin... You can tell us anything. We won't tell." Luhan adds.

 

"Uhmm..." was all I could say but then I think, they're my brothers. She'll understand. "Sorry for not telling you earlier but Hye Kyung and I... We're together." as soon as it escaped my lips laughing, clapping and howling ensued.

 

"We're happy for you." was all they kept on saying and I was happy too.

 

As I thought, she understood that I told them and it was our fifth month when I asked her if she wanted to live with me. The months we spent together weren’t devoid of petty fights, misunderstandings and arguments that we thought would be the end but it's worth it. It was 12md and we were strolling in the streets, they were told that they would debut a month after and she was ecstatic but daily commute was tiring for her, her house was far and that's why I thought she'd be happy to live with me, we already have our own place anyway.

 

Just before I was supposed to ask she sees a gelato store and starts jumping dragging me inside.

 

"Uhmmm. One Choco mint please. Medium size." she tells the cashier.

 

"Yah! You won't be able to finish that or you will but your tummy will hurt “I scold her, she's always like this. Always hungry then whines about being too full. She pouts then sticks her tongue out.

 

"I'll finish it all, don't worry. I won't give you a tiny bit even if you beg." she tells me eating a mouthful of her gelato then paying for it. We go out and wander around again.

 

"I told you I like paying for the things that make you happy." I told her looking straight because I know she'll look at me with those eyes of hers.

 

"Hmmm. Well I also told you that I don't like people spending on me, I feel like you're buying me or something equally -if not more- disturbing." she answers, shoving spoonful of gelato in .

 

--------

 

"Ughhh. It hurts." she groans, clutching her stomach. We were on my apartment -this place has become our bonding lair sometimes with monggu, janggu, jangga or all of them- she was lying on the super hero patterned bed and I was sitting on the side, patting her.

 

"I-" she raises her pointing finger and waves it. I smirk.

 

"I told you so." I whisper then I blow into her ear she flinches, reaches for a pillow then hits me with it.

 

"Yah... I'm serious. I feel like I'm dying." she says. I roll my eyes and plop on the space beside her.

 

"That's what you always say when your tummy hurts." I say, facing her and letting her head rest on my chest. "Now, sleep. It'll be gone when you wake up because I have magic." I whisper, her hair. She scoffs but then yawns, minutes later she's asleep and with her in my arms sleep conquers me.

 

Two weeks, two weeks since we broke up. Two weeks of utter and solitary confinement. It's not like I didn't try to mend it because I did. The instant those words left my mouth I regretted it.

 

"Is reaching for your dream more important than our relationship?" the heart stricken expression on her face haunts me every time I close my eyes and I haven't gotten good sleep because of it.

 

"That's so unfair." was all she said before she left.

 

I tried calling her phone, the first few hundreds it would ring then after it went straight to voice mail until she decided to turn it off. I also tried talking to her during their practices but their manager was strict since their debut date was near, she wouldn't even look at me. I didn't know where she lived; we never had the time to go but every night I'd patrol the practice rooms looking for her, hoping that she'd be practicing in one of them but no such luck.

 

"Jongin, you need to sleep and eat. Just give her time. Do you remember before we debuted? We always worked so hard. What if someone you loved told you to give that up when it's so within reach and when that person should've been the one supporting you all the way? Try to understand her." D.O tells me, urging me to eat the food he made.

 

"Hyung I can't. I know what I said was wrong and I'd give everything if it meant I could turn back time..." I tell him, my eyes still trained on the floor. Ever since that day I haven't been able to look anyone in the eyes. D.O just pats my back and leaves me.

 

******

We were walking in the hallway, they were loud and hyper as usual but suddenly everything went silent and I look at what had happened only to see her greeting us like nothing had happened. Everyone was dumbfounded, they bowed and they just watch her like it's the only thing they can do. When she reached me they all walked away.

 

"Hye Kyung... I'm sorry, I-I" I try to say the words that's been repeating in my head for two weeks but she raises her hands up and says.

 

"Please. Just don't." then she starts to walk away but I was done. I won't just watch her walk away anymore.

 

"Hye Kyung. Please, just wait. I know I was wrong and I didn't mean what I said. I'm sorry for being such an insensitive prick but please. I can't lose you." I say; my eyes were stinging and there were no more tears.  "Please."

 

"Why don't you look at anyone in the eyes anymore?" she asks, cupping my cheek and making me look at her.

 

"You're eyes are my favorite. Why are you so thin? Don't you eat? And why do you look so tired? Have you been pushing yourself again?" she asks, smiling and just like that we got back together.

 

Soon enough there was only one week left till their debut, they were working hard and as their 'sunbaes' we've been telling everyone to anticipate their debut but she's being stubborn again.

 

She spends four hours every day for commuting and to avoid the crowd she goes too early then leaves late at night. I can see the effects on her body; she looks like a zombie. I told her my offer still stands but she wouldn't have any of it instead she's been pushing herself extra hard in practicing even though she couldn't possibly forget the steps. Three days before their debut, we were in the practice room watching them. I always brought her the vitamins, drinks and food that would make her body stronger because she looked so frail but of course I would put it in her bag when no one in her group was looking. She was in the middle of dancing when her body gave up, she fainted. The others thought it was part of the routine because the song was so mournful but I knew better; I dashed to her, carrying her in my arms and bringing her to the clinic. The doctor said it was fever from exhaustion and lack of sleep. I brought her to the apartment and waited for her to wake up. I tended to her and fell asleep.

 

I woke up because of rustling sheets then I see her getting out of bed.

 

"Where are you going?" I ask her.

 

"To practice." she answers, swinging her gym bag over her shoulder. I walk towards her and hug her from the back.

 

"I'm sorry to say, I can't let you do that." I tell her and she tries to push me away but I just hug her tighter.

 

"You need to understand Hye Kyung. No good will come out of exhausting yourself before the show because if you do then how will you give your best? Our fans deserve the best and... You should take care of your health or I'll take care of it for you but then everyone would get to know our secret... Wouldn't they?" I whisper, guiding her back to the bed.

"Now rest if you don't want to faint on the day of your debut."

 

*******

Their debut was successful and from there everything happened at the same time. Hourly practices, daily guesting, monthly photo shoots and some other things on the side. I was happy for her but I was uneasy. I remember the night I asked her to marry me, she accepted but we couldn't do it right away because she just debuted and it needed time.

 

Some people can't take a hint though, always trying to get between us and it was fine until they got so persistent and Suho Hyung was the one who told me to keep my calm, for Hye Kyung and I really tried until I couldn't anymore.

 

"Hye Kyung! That guy tried to kiss you and you tell me to keep calm?" I yell, I was pacing back and forth the apartment. Hye Kyung just arrived from a shoot and a friend of mine called me about the incident.

 

"Well, he wasn't successful." she says. "Please, let's just rest." then she disappears into the bedroom.

 

I need some air. I walk out and text Baekhyun and Suho. We met at the practice room, the lights were dim and I wanted it that way. I was dancing when they arrived.

 

"What happened now?" Baekhyun says, placing his bag down.

 

"Is it the camera man? The photographer? Oh wait no uhmm. Another artist?" He starts to tease.

 

"Baekhyun, stop that or you're going to find yourself with a broken nose from that guy." Suho tells him, sitting down.

 

"Jongin... We're stars, things like these happen. They just debuted and Hye Kyung is their leader, what do you expect?" Suho asks me and I lay down on the floor silent.

 

"Do you ever stop to wonder why everything happened? Why you met Hyun In and why you met Chan Mi? How it happened? They weren't from here and yet they were here in perfect time. If those things can happen then why do these horrible things need to happen?" I ask no one in particular. Then Baekhyun laughs.

 

"Pabo! If everything is so great then how would we appreciate them? How would we treasure the moments worth treasuring? How would we know if we are in-love? How would we feel any different?" Baekhyun answers.

 

"Some things happen for us to learn, some for us to tumble, some to grow and some to know the meaning of what we call happiness. To distinguish these things we need those bad things." Suho tells me.

 

"Nobody told me it would be this hard." I whined.

 

"If someone did, would you have stopped?" Suho asks and I close my eyes, because he's right. I wouldn't. I wouldn't let someone or something prevent me from having her by my side, happy.

 

********

 

Now, we're already married and we have a family. It still isn't easy and I don't think it's ever going to be. We'll still fight, misunderstand and at times hurt each other but that isn't the point. The point is why would this obstacles matter if that someone is worth holding on to?

 

Even if I have to go out in the freezing winter or scalding summer heat just to get her cravings, even if I see many guys wanting her to be theirs and even if at times we would hate each other. I still wouldn't give up because life isn't that easy especially love; It's the most simple yet complicated thing in this world and I won't be able to fully understand it but what I do understand is Nothing worth having comes easy.

 

I look at her, playing with our son. A smile on her face and I know, she was worth it, she still is and she always will be. 

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I know, I know.. this one is crappy. I'm very sorry. HUHUHUHUHU. *runs and cries* but I still posted it... So, sorry. XD 

xoxoxo Kyon Seul