“tempus omnia sed memorias privat”

“A wind-up toy?”

The day was cloudy and windy, the usual clear azure sky had hushed into dim gray, dark clouds floating heavily, looming over the city.  Even though the weather cast announced that it wouldn’t be raining before evening, many people chose to stay inside, avoiding the chilly air.  Baekhyun was one of them.  He sat on a table for two inside the cafeteria, eyes kept darting back to the large window next to him, trying to catch a glimpse of Luhan.  He tapped the mug in his hands rather impatiently, the hot chocolate in it was left untouched.  He had been wanting to meet him since morning, but their schedules were all packed the whole day.  Luhan had suggested to just text him what he wanted to talk about, but Baekhyun thought the matter was quite difficult to be explained in short texts, so he just waited until they could meet after their classes ended.

It made him quite restless since morning.  He couldn’t concentrate well during the classes.  His mind made endless strings of what, how, why, what if.   So when Luhan finally came, he didn’t waste more time to tell him what had happened.  The cafeteria was crowded with students that afternoon, the only table vacant was the one at the furthest corner of the room, slightly hidden behind the tall tree and the water fountain of the indoor garden.  And Baekhyun somehow relieved that they were far from anyone’s sight or hearing, because apparently, even though what he was about to tell Luhan wasn’t so much of a secret, it didn’t seem to be something considered usual either.  And as he expected, it wasn’t so easy to explain the matter.

“Yes, just like this.”

He pulled out his tiny wind-up toy from his bag, turning the key on its back a few times and put it on the table between them.  The toy walked slowly, swaying its arms and legs in monotone moves.  Luhan stared at the toy, examining its movements.  Baekhyun had brought it just in case Luhan couldn’t understand his description, considering how little he knew about toys and many other things from the earlier days.      

The key turned counter clockwise, the ticking sounds faintly echoed, as if counting down each second of its life.  When the key had stopped turning, the toy stopped moving, stumbled down to the side.  Luhan took the toy into his hand, flipping it a few times to study each side of it, and after looking at its unchanging painted face, he looked up at him, frowning.

“So he’s just like this toy, with static face and stiff movements, only in a size of human?”

“No, not exactly like that.” Baekhyun shook his head, trying to find the right word to describe it, “He is...different.”

“Different how?”

Baekhyun stared down at his mug, thinking.  His drink was still floating soft steam.  He brought it to his lips and took a small sip.  As the warmth seeped through him, he recalled what had happened the day before.

“Welcome home.”

The awakened figure hugged him so closely, face leaned on his shoulder, breathing steadily against his neck.  He stayed like that for quite a long time, without moving even an inch, until Baekhyun had memorized the pattern of his heartbeat.  He had tried to pull away from the embrace but the arms were holding him so tightly, making him unable to make any move.

“Ngg...  Excuse me, but can you let go of me?”

There was no response.  Baekhyun asked louder.

“Can you please let go of me?”

Still no response.  He just kept hugging him.  Baekhyun thought whether the figure, whatever he was, had just fell into unconsciousness again, but he still could hear the constant flow of his heartbeat in his chest, denying his guess.  He was still awake, but he didn’t even show any sign that he listened to anything Baekhyun had said.

“I’m sorry, but could you please let go of me?  I started to feel numb here.”

No move.

“Can you hear me?”

No answer.

Baekhyun sighed.  He then remembered the name engraved in the bracelet.  A bit hesitantly, he brought his voice to ring the name.

“Chanyeol?”

He finally felt him move.  The arms loosened around him, slowly letting him go.  He rose up from where he had been leaning his head on Baekhyun’s shoulder, standing straight to his full height.  Baekhyun massaged his cramped neck a bit before looking up, seeing the figure staring down at him. 

There was no Halo in his eyes, only a pair of hazel irises with a burn of umber, blooming around the pupils like a spark of evening.  He was looking at him through a curtain of his messy auburn hair, unblinking, a small wave of oblivion swam across his eyes.

“Is your name Chanyeol?”

He didn’t answer, only tilted his head a little, almost unnoticeably, eyes still on him.

“Who are you?”

There was no answer from him.

“Where are you from?”

Still no answer.

Baekhyun heaved a heavy sigh.  He had proved that he could hear him, that his hearing wasn’t broken or impaired, but he didn’t seem to understand anything he asked—or even any word he said.  His face stayed the same, filled with blank expression, and eyes still silent, only staring at him like he was the only thing he could see and recognize.

He looked just like a lost child.

Baekhyun huffed, thinking that maybe he should just try asking him again later.

“Well, let’s get you cleaned up first.  You have dusts all over you.”  And after receiving another silence as an answer, Baekhyun added gently, “Okay, Chanyeol?”

Just like a spell, the sound of the name got him to react.  He nodded.  Baekhyun smiled, taking his hand into a hold.

“Come on, I’ll show you the bathroom.”

And that’s when the chaos started.

“No, Chanyeol, take off your clothes first—no, no, I said take it off, not rip it off!”

“Chanyeol, you don’t just walk into a door like that!  Turn the knob, push the door open first so you can get into the bathroom!  Oh dear, is your nose okay?”

“No, Chanyeol, that’s not how you use a shower, you should hold it like this—no, don’t eat the soap!”

Chanyeol was not simply a lost child.

He was more like a lost child from other planet.

Not only he couldn’t understand any word, he also didn’t seem to understand what everything is or how anything works.

“No, Chanyeol, don’t pull the tap, you should turn it—oh my God, you’re breaking it!”

Baekhyun ended up bathing Chanyeol himself, after a long struggle to pull his clothes off of his long limbs and repeatedly telling him how to sit in the bathtub.  He had to go back and forth from the wash basin to the bathtub to get the water, since Chanyeol had managed to break both the tap and the shower the first minute he entered the bathroom.  And after he finished bathing Chanyeol, drying him and putting him into a clean clothes—a pair of pajamas in light blue and striped pants, the biggest clothes Baekhyun had, that only reached three quarter of Chanyeol’s arms and legs—he still couldn’t breathe easy. 

Other than his unknowing about everything around him, Chanyeol also had curiosity bigger than all cats and toddlers combined.  He tried to touch everything.  It actually wouldn’t be much of a problem, if only he didn’t own a strength he didn’t seem to know how to control.

Only in half an hour, Chanyeol had torn away a door from its hinges, broken two chairs, shattered three cups, and bent half dozen of spoon.

He also tried to eat everything, unable to distinguish which one is edible and which one isn’t.  Other than the soap, toothbrush, and bubbles in the bathroom, he had tried to eat a table cloth, a plate, a candle, a vase, a ladle, and he even nearly swallowed the whole soup with the bowl if Baekhyun hadn’t stopped him.

Chanyeol was like a kid who had just mastered how to walk and was arrived in a new playground.  He kept walking around the house, looking and examining everything, making more damages everywhere he went.

“Chanyeol, sit down!”

Baekhyun had almost lost his mind, until Chanyeol finally obeyed him.  ‘Sit down’ was the only thing other than his name that he seemed to understand, as Baekhyun already repeated it two times, once when he tried to bathe him and the other time when he tried to feed him.

Baekhyun heaved a relieved sigh as Chanyeol stopped wandering around and sat down right away on the floor, legs stretched forward.  Baekhyun sat in front of him, crossing his legs, and Chanyeol immediately followed his move, crossing both his leg. 

Baekhyun was amused.

He raised his right hand, and Chanyeol raised his right hand too.  His raised his left hand, and Chanyeol did the same.  Then he pinched his own cheeks and pulled it, and Chanyeol followed him right away.  Baekhyun laughed at how funny Chanyeol’s face looked with stretched lips, and Chanyeol seemed amazed by his laughter.  When Baekhyun’s laugh ceased down, Chanyeol pulled his cheeks again, and Baekhyun laughed again.  He did it for another couple of times, pulling his cheeks wider and wider everytime, making Baekhyun laughed louder and louder until his stomach hurt.

“Okay, okay, that’s enough!  One more laugh and I might need a jaw transplant.”

But Chanyeol looked displeased when Baekhyun stopped laughing.  He raised his hands to pinch his cheeks again.  Baekhyun grabbed his hands, stopping him for making another weird face. 

“Let’s do something else, okay?  Here.”

Baekhyun put a pile of colorful folding papers between them, giving one of it to Chanyeol.  Chanyeol stared at the square red paper in his hands for a few seconds, and shoved it into his mouth.  Baekhyun quickly snatched the paper away.

“No, Chanyeol, don’t eat it!  You should fold it, like this.”

Baekhyun put the paper on the floor, carefully folding it in patterns he had memorized by heart, doing each steps slowly so Chanyeol could see.

“Tadaaah!”  Baekhyun raised his hand to show Chanyeol what he made, “It’s a plane!”

Chanyeol’s mouth opened as he looked at the paper plane, dazed like a child seeing a magic trick for the first time.  Baekhyun chuckled.

“Here, come on, try to make one too.”

Baekhyun took another papers and gave one for Chanyeol, green this time.  He repeated the steps even slower than earlier, and Chanyeol followed him, doing every fold exactly like Baekhyun did.

“Look!  You did it!”

Chanyeol managed to make his first paper plane, and Baekhyun clapped his hands happily.  He reached out his hand and pet Chanyeol’s head, smiling so widely until his eyes turned into curved lines.

“Good job, Chanyeol.”

Chanyeol didn’t turn his eyes away from Baekhyun for a whole minute.

They made more paper planes after that, and Chanyeol was even more eager than Baekhyun, already memorizing how to make it on second try.  He kept making more and more planes, and Baekhyun let him, as it kept him busy and away from breaking another things in the house.  After a while, Chanyeol looked up at him, holding out the plane he just made.  Baekhyun didn’t understand at first, and only took the plane and said thank you.  Chanyeol frowned, made another plane, and held it out at him again.  Baekhyun was confused, but then he got what he meant and pet Chanyeol’s head.

“Good job.”

Chanyeol smiled, eyes twinkling in happiness.  He made even more planes after that, taking one paper after another incessantly.  Baekhyun just watched him, once in a while pet his head and praised him whenever he looked up and showed him the planes he made.

It went on and on like that for a long time, until the night getting late and Baekhyun fell asleep, Chanyeol’s smile being the last thing he remembered before he closed his eyes.

Baekhyun woke up on his bed the next day.

As he sat up and stretched his arms, he saw Chanyeol sat on the floor next to his bed, legs crossed, his hands holding a folding paper.  Countless paper planes piled up around him like a spilled rainbow.  Baekhyun smiled at the sight. 

“Good morning, Chanyeol.”

Chanyeol didn’t answer.  He didn’t even turn his head.  Confused, Baekhyun pushed away his blanket and got down from his bed.  Chanyeol still didn’t look at him.

“Chanyeol...?”

When he kneeled in front of Chanyeol, he realized that Chanyeol had stopped moving.  His eyes were opened, but it was cold and lifeless.  His hand was still holding a paper, but his fingers were stiff and unmoving.  Baekhyun touched his hand, and the coldness bit on his skin.

Baekhyun remembered about the key on his nape, and hurriedly looked behind his neck.  The key had turned back to its original position, bow paralelled with the key hole.  Baekhyun quickly grabbed the key, turning it again, three full rounds this time.  Then he rushed to press his ear on Chanyeol’s chest, desperately hoping to hear any sign of life. 

After a few seconds, a beat thumped in his chest, starting a line of steady heartbeat.  Warmth radiated from him again, and Baekhyun sighed in relief.  As his breath could be heard again, Chanyeol’s eyes shifted, the colors awakenened.  Chanyeol saw Baekhyun was there in front of him, and he immediately gathered the paper planes around him in his arms.  He poured it down on Baekhyun’s lap, and looked at him in anticipation.

Baekhyun stared at the paper planes drowning his legs from sight.  Chanyeol had made so many planes that it didn’t fit on his lap, some of it tumbled down to the floor.  Baekhyun wondered if Chanyeol kept making those even when he already fell asleep.  He imagined how Chanyeol might looked at him after making a few planes, only to see him sleeping, leaving him with no one to praise him, until the key stopped turning.  Baekhyun smiled apologetically, feeling guilt crowding his chest, and raised his hand to pet Chanyeol’s head, caressing him longer than he had ever done before.

“Good job, Chanyeol.”

The morning went quite peacefully.  Chanyeol still tried to touch and eat everything, but at least he had understood some words and knew when Baekhyun told him to follow his move.  When Baekhyun was preparing breakfast, Chanyeol walked rather urgently at him, showing his paper plane, seemed worried and anxious.  Baekhyun pet his head but Chanyeol shook his head, holding out his paper plane again.  It took a few seconds for Baekhyun to realize that Chanyeol meant to say that he already ran out of folding paper.  And Baekhyun really didn’t have any more paper.

Worried that Chanyeol might stubbornly look for anything to subtitute the folding paper, Baekhyun thought of another distraction.  He brought Chanyeol to the living room and told him to ‘sit down’, one of a few words Chanyeol understood really well and obeyed immediately, then Baekhyun the television.  Chanyeol’s eyes widened as he saw the moving pictures in the television, and he crawled hurriedly at it.

“No, Chanyeol, don’t watch it too close,” Baekhyun led him to sit back on his earlier position, “Be a good boy and stay here while I cook, okay?”

Baekhyun gave a light pat on his head, and Chanyeol obediently nodded.

Chanyeol watched the television with great concentration, eyes unblinking and mouth slightly opened.  Once in a while, he would raise his hand or foot and follow what people on the televison did.  One time he even stood up and did some kind of dance with awkward moves.  Baekhyun chuckled at Chanyeol’s act, but his smile withered right away as he remembered how Chanyeol had stopped moving earlier.

Chanyeol wasn’t a human.  He wasn’t alive.

He was just like a wind-up toy, moves by a clockwork, life depends of how many times the key being turned.

He had no soul.

But then, what about his heartbeat?  Was it made by some kind of mechanical system like that of a music box?  What about his breaths and warmth?  Was it worked just like how a hearth heating a confined room?

Chanyeol stood up again, staggering a little bit.  He raised one of his legs, stretching his long arms at each side, leaning forward—mimicking an airplane.  He turned his face as he noticed Baekhyun stared at him, and he grinned.  His smile was so bright like the first burgeoning morning after a heavy downpour, his eyes lit up like a sparkling sea under midsummer sun.

If Chanyeol had no soul, then what is it he saw in his eyes?

They had breakfast together after that.  Baekhyun wasn’t sure if Chanyeol really needed to eat, but seeing how he tried to swallow everything, and how he showed a big appetite, Baekhyun made him a tall tower of pancakes.  Chanyeol was still clumsy at handling fork, and Baekhyun let him eat with his hand, afraid that Chanyeol might hurt himself with the fork.  Chanyeol ate too quickly that Baekhyun had to tell him to slow down, and Chanyeol followed his example to chew his food for 20 times before swallowing it.  But he eventually back to eat his food with a single gulp, making him choked twice.

Baekhyun wondered if it’s okay to leave Chanyeol alone in the house.

“Chanyeol, remember what I said?”

Chanyeol was back in front of the television after finishing his breakfast, and Baekhyun tried to remind him what he had told him before going to the university.

“Don’t turn on the stove, the microwave, or the oven,” Baekhyun said while pointing at each thing, gesturing fire and making X sign by crossing his arms, “And always open the door first before going into a room, you’re not a superhero who can walk through solid things.”

Chanyeol’s eyes went back and forth from Baekhyun’s face to his hand gestures, and nodded.

“Good.  And if you’re hungry, you can eat the sandwiches and fruits I’ve prepared for you on the table.  Don’t eat any paper, any plastic, any wood, or anything that I don’t place on a plate.  Okay?”

Listening to each of Baekhyun’s words and watching every gesture Baekhyun made, Chanyeol nodded again.  Baekhyun looked at him, somehow still worried, unsure that Chanyeol really understood everything he said.  But he stood up anyway, patted Chanyeol’s head.

“Good.  I’m leaving now.  See you, Chanyeol.”

Chanyeol didn’t answer, he already had his eyes on the television again.  Thinking that maybe Chanyeol didn’t have the ability of concern, Baekhyun just smiled, gave another pat on Chanyeol’s head and walked to the front door. 

But when Baekhyun had just finished tying up his shoes and about to open the door, he heard Chanyeol stomping towards him in hurried steps.  He turned around, and saw Chanyeol stood up behind him, holding out a jacket for him.

Baekhyun was rendered speechless at first, didn’t expect Chanyeol’s act.  Chanyeol pointed at the television, it was a weather cast program, warning that it would be windy the whole day.

“Ah... So you heard from the television that—AUFFF!”

Chanyeol put the jacket right on top of Baekhyun’s head, covering his face.  Baekhyun laughed, pulling the fabric away from his head.  He took the jacket from Chanyeol’s hand, and slowly put on the jacket in the proper way.  Chanyeol was still staring at him, at Baekhyun gave him a big smile, cupping his face in his hands.

“Thank you, Chanyeol.”

Chanyeol stayed behind the window after that, staring at him going away from the house with a longing look.  He didn’t even move when Baekhyun vanished at a turn.

And once again Baekhyun wondered what Chanyeol really was.

“I don’t know.”

Luhan looked just as confused as Baekhyun did, if not more.  He had been listening to Baekhyun’s story so attentively, not even once interrupting.  He frowned at some part, widened his eyes at another, as if what Baekhyun was telling him was a magnificent myth long forgotten, far from reality and present time.  When Baekhyun finished, and asked what he thought Chanyeol was, Luhan shook his head.

“You really don’t know?”

Baekhyun was a bit disappointed.  Seeing how Luhan seemed to know many things about Personas and another living being-like android, Baekhyun had been wishing that Luhan would give him some answers and enlightments.  But apparently, Luhan was just as clueless as him.

Luhan shook his head again, his frown got deeper.

“To be honest, Baekhyun, from what you’ve told me, I found him really strange.”

Baekhyun knew Chanyeol was strange in many ways that he actually surprised Luhan didn’t cut him after a few words and accused him for lying, but he still asked anyway.

“Strange how?”

“First, you said his name is Chanyeol?”

“Yeah,” Baekhyun said, and added a bit hesitantly, “I’m not sure, actually.  But it’s the name written in his bracelet, and he only responds when I call him that.  Why is it strange?”

“Bezalel Decree Number 3 Line 11,” Luhan leaned his body closer to Baekhyun as he spoke, “Personas and another droids in a living form should be code-named by only four letters or less.”

Baekhyun gulped as he realized Chanyeol didn’t exactly follow the law.

“And you said he only moves as long as the key is turning?”  Baekhyun nodded, and Luhan continued, “That is not how any Persona or droid works.  Here, let me show you.”

Luhan took a sheet of paper from his bag, and started drawing a sketch of Persona’s body structure, just like explaining a human’s anatomy.

“You see, Personas have Crux,”  Luhan said as he drew a circle inside the Persona’s head sketch, “it’s their hard drive and processor.  It works like our brain, it saves datas and makes decisions.  Then they have Wires,”  Luhan drew a smaller circle in the Persona’s chest, “it’s the core of their motoric system.  Without it, they can think, but they can’t move.  Not exactly the same but it’s similar to our heart.”

Luhan drew again, rectangle this time, placing it right under the Wires.

“They also have a Coffer, and it’s literally a box in their chest.  It’s originally created for military Personas to keep secret messages in the War back then.  They still have it now even though the War’s over and Personas are produced more for daily use.  Most people use it like a safebox to keep valuable things.  There’s a myth that what is put in the Coffer may take part in making the Persona’s personality, though.”

Baekhyun listened to Luhan’s explanation thoroughly, carefully catch every word Luhan said along every he made.  Luhan slided his hand up and put the tip of his pencil on the Persona’s neck, drawing a small box.

“And to activate all that, there’s an Igniter, just like a switch-on button, placed at the back of their neck.  After the button is pressed, there will be a thin line where the box of the Igniter has been opened.” Luhan a line cutting the box in the middle, “We called it the Trace, it’s a sign that a Persona is already activated.  I think of it like a birthmark.”

Luhan drew another tiny circle inside the Igniter, filling it with .

“And when a Persona is activated, it can life for basically forever.  We just have to change the Wires every ten years or so, depending of how much work we make our Personas do.”

Luhan finally looked up from the paper, and stared at Baekhyun.

“So, Baekhyun, I don’t know what Chanyeol is.”

Baekhyun took the paper from the table, taking a better look at Luhan’s drawing.  His eyes shifted from the Crux, the Wires, and the Coffer.  Luhan had easily explained it with comparisons to human’s organs, and Baekhyun wondered if Chanyeol also had all those parts inside him, only in a different shape with Personas.

But even if that’s the case, did all those parts could really make heartbeats, breaths, and warmth he felt from Chanyeol?

And how come it felt so real?

“Maybe Chanyeol is an old version of Persona?” Baekhyun asked after a pause of pondering, “You know, like the first type or something?”

“I don’t think so.” Luhan crossed his arms, leaning back to his chair.  “Kai is one of the earliest Personas ever invented, and he’s pretty much the same with the newest ones.”

Baekhyun frowned.  Chanyeol’s apperance, his smooth skin, his soft hair, his lively eyes, along with his fluid movements, were ones that only recent technology could make.  But his limited lifespan, only as much as one’s willing to turn the key, was something made by old mechanical system.

Chanyeol was like an anomaly, a time traveler lost and drowned in the middle of a long, unrelenting stream of time.  He brought with him something from the past, but he didn’t quite belong to the future.

“Do you know the last owner of the house, Luhan?  Maybe Chanyeol is somehow accidentally being left behind.”

“No, I don’t.  It’s only written that the house was orgininally owned by the government, and was used by one of the government employees.”

“And where is the employee now?”

There was a few seconds of pause, stretched by a hint of hesitation in Luhan’s eyes.

“He died in the War.”

A sudden deluge of heavy feeling came filling his chest like an unseen wave, washing away all questions, leaving only unsettling sense of worry for him to grasp.

Does it mean Chanyeol was all alone now?

Does Chanyeol even know that his owner has gone?

“Baekhyun?  Baekhyun, I’m sorry,” Luhan reached for Baekhyun’s arm, guilt painted over his face, “I’m so sorry, I should have told you earlier.  Are you mad at me?  It’s okay, you should be mad—do you want me to look for another house?  I can try searching for some—“

“No, Luhan, it’s okay.”  Baekhyun took Luhan’s hand from his arm, smiling reasurringly despite the lingering feeling in his chest, “I’m not mad.  I like the house, you don’t have to look for a new one for me.  It’s just...”

“Just?”

Baekhyun sighed, unsure of what he should think or do.

“I just don’t know what to do with Chanyeol now.”

Luhan stared at Baekhhyun’s face, noticing the confusion and worry resting evidently in his eyes.  He patted Baekhyun’s head, each corner of his lips lifted, offering reassurance.

“For now, let’s ask Kai to check him.”  Luhan touched his chrome bracelet, sending a message through the touch.  “Take him home with you.  Like I said, Kai is one of the first Personas.  He might know something.”

Feeling a bit lighter with the caress of Luhan’s soft tones and his genuine willing of helping him to figure things out, Baekhyun smiled, “Thank you, Luhan.”

“No problem, Baekhyun.”  Luhan easily smiled back at him, and a beep heard from his bracelet.  “Kai will be here in a few minutes.”

“Luhan, one more thing.”

“Yes?”

“Does Persona have to learn everything from the beginning, just like a child?”

“No, they’re pre-programmed.  Sure they can learn, and they can be trained.  But we can just simply put any abilities or knowledges we want our Personas to have into their system.  After all, Personas are created to please their owner.”

Personas are created to please their owner.

Baekhyun wondered, if everything Chanyeol had done for him, was nothing but what the program inside his head ordered him to do.

A/N:

Updated again, yay \(^ ^)/ Thank you so much for the subscriptions and comments! I have the best readers in the world ;;__;; *hugs each of you* And as always, please forgive any grammatical mistake and overall the horrible writing skill.  Hope you like the chapter! ^^