Push
Push and Pull
Eric hated him.
Eric hated Shin Hyesung to his very core.
God knows he'd tried. He'd done his best to try and be friends with the other man, and yet without any reason he would always get turned down, pushed away, kicked back, hit. He hated every minute of interacting with him. He hated every minute that he spent with him, knowing that he had to keep his distance from him as much as possible. He hated seeing his smile turn into a frown every time he walked into the room. He hated how he seemingly held and manipulated him like a little bug trapped between his fingers, with only him who has the power to choose whether he dies painlessly or in suffering.
He hated the gnawing feeling inside his chest, almost as if someone took a sharp knife and drove it through his heart; and not being satisfied, twisted and turned it slowly, tauntingly, as if with the intention of cutting his heart out but doing it in the most agonizing way possible. He hated the way every hit, no matter how hard or soft, all felt mind-numbingly painful, as if he was punched and kicked right through the gut over and over by a thousand men. He hated the way his chest constricted in pain and he almost couldn't breathe every time Hyesung jabs at him, pushing him away like he had no feelings, like he was beneath human, like he didn't feel any pain.
He hated Hyesung's mood swings- how he would be kind and accommodating to Eric at one time, then angry and pushing him away another. He hated the way he blatantly avoided him every time he tried to get a simple, friendly hug. He hated the way he smiled or laughed awkwardly, almost forcefully, when he did so. He hated how he couldn't read him, no matter how much he tried to. He hated the way that he's completely fine with getting intimate with the other members, but never with him. He hated the way that every interaction between them had to be initiated by himself. He hated the way that fans had to force Hyesung to say that he likes him or to hug him or whatnot when he knows that he doesn't want to.
He hated how one man could have so much power over him, whether Hyesung knew it unconsciously or not.
He hated the way that damned Shin Hyesung made him feel.
What do you really feel towards me, Shin Hyesung? Eric thought with a pained expression, as he watched the object of his thoughts laugh at a joke that Jun Jin had cracked. I just don't understand you. I want to understand you. Let me understand you.
As if on cue, Hyesung glanced over where he was sitting far away from everyone else, observing him. Their eyes met briefly, and Eric quickly looked away before walking out of the room entirely. Jun Jin had cracked another joke which caused laughter from the other members to fill the air, but Hyesung was no longer listening. He broke away from the group and followed after their leader, finding him in the practice room a few minutes later.
"Eric? What's up with you?" Hyesung asked gently, uncharacteristically gently for when he spoke with Eric, as he took a seat not far from where he is. Eric stood up abruptly, obviously conveying the fact that the last thing he wanted to do is to be alone with the other when he is currently the cause of why he is feeling this way.
"Nothing. Leave me alone." If Hyesung could be short and curt with him, then so could he, right? He had to know that he wasn't the only one who could walk all over him all the time. God knows that Hyesung had trampled over him; he had no right to be angry right now.
"I'm not going to leave you alone, Eric. Something's clearly bothering you." Hyesung's lips were set in a firm line, his arms crossed over his chest as he shifted his stance, observing Eric with one eyebrow raised. Eric knew that look; Hyesung means business. Serious business. But he doesn't care.
"I'm not in the mood to talk right now, Pilgyo." Eric pushed past him, making a move to bump into his shoulders violently, unapologetically, as he moved towards the exit. But before he could even take a step, Hyesung grabbed onto his wrist tightly, effectively locking him in place. He made no move to turn back or acknowledge him though, as he just stood there silently facing the door, ready to leave the moment the other lets his guard down.
"I know that tone, Jeong Hyeok. You clearly have a problem, and you're not going until you tell me." Hyesung's voice was as equally icy, his grip all but tightening on the older man's wrist. Eric scoffed, a bitter laugh escaping him.
"Gee, Hyesungie, I didn't know you cared so much." The sarcasm was evident in his voice as he violently snatched his wrist away, his eyes burning with rage and sadness and hurt all at once, which confused Hyesung. "Now why don't you go talk to someone you actually care about and stop wasting your time on me."
Hyesung was slightly taken aback as he stared hard at the other. "Wh-what the hell's wrong with you?"
"Why don't you ask yourself that." Before Hyesung could even reply, Eric was already out the door, leaving him confused and agitated.
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"Okay, what the is going on."
Minwoo was clearly pissed, as he motioned his manager to turn off the music and vacate the room except for the six of them. He glared pointedly at their leader and main vocal, both of whom avoided his eyes like the plague. They had been practicing for close to two hours now, but the mood and atmosphere was heavy, and the aforementioned two kept making mistakes that they normally wouldn't make.
When no one answered, Minwoo sighed and rubbed his temples. "Look, if you guys don't want to tell us what your problem is, fine. But could you please solve your before you go into the practice room? The concert is only a month away and we can't have petty arguments destroy everything we've worked so hard for. So talk." Minwoo motioned for the other 3 to follow him, as they all wordlessly packed out of the room before either of the two could even speak. Once they were left alone again, Hyesung glanced over at Eric, who kept his mouth closed tightly and doesn't look like he's intending to speak up at all.
"Eric, I don't know how to solve this '', as Minwoo so eloquently put it, if you don't tell me what I did wrong." Hyesung huffed, sitting on a chair in the opposite side of the room as he observed the other. Eric remained silent, opting instead to divert his attention to a random piece of paper as he stared blankly at it like it was the most interesting object in the room. Hyesung couldn't take it anymore, as he suddenly lunged for the other and punched him square in the jaw, causing him to fall out of his chair and land hard on the floor. Eric stared up at Hyesung, dumbfounded, as he the cut on his lower lip that was quickly bleeding.
"Did I get your attention? Good. Because I'm tired of this cryptic , Moon Jeong Hyeok. Tell me what's wrong right now!"
"You want to know what's wrong? Fine. I'll tell you what's wrong, Jung Pilgyo." Eric's uncharacteristically calm and quiet voice seemed to ring louder than anything else, as he slowly stood up and gave the coldest glare he has ever given anyone, sending chills down Hyesung's spine as he found himself getting lost in those big, icy orbs. Yet Eric's next words brought him crashing back to reality as if someone had suddenly spilled ice water all over him.
"You. I hate you." The quiet yet grave words shot through him like a bullet, as Eric left the room without any explanation, leaving Hyesung with his mouth slightly agape and weak in the knees as he stared out at the space Eric previously occupied.
Having a bit of difficulty writing the third chapter. Will come soon. Sorry! ^^;;;
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