I looked outside my window. The leaves were beginning to lose their color. Summer was slowly coming to an end and fall was waiting for it’s time to shine. Time to make the leaves lose color. Time to make the trees bare. Time to make the grass dead. Time to make the birds fly to warmer places. Time to pick apples and pumpkins. Time to cause the wind to become a chilling breath against one’s skin. Time for sweaters and hats. Time for warm drinks and soup. Time for school.

I’d picked up the habit of looking out the window in the early hours around this time of year, just to see how the fast the seasons were changing. Or how slow they were changing. Mother Nature had her way with things and sometimes it was quite weird. The woods were in my backyard just across a trail. Although I wasn’t allowed to go into the woods, it was my own little sanctuary. The endless amount of trees seemed to continue forever on the other side of the trail acting as a large habitat for the many creatures that live in the area.

It was a beautiful site all year long. In the winter it was a blanket of white that would cover the view of the woods completely, making it open for one to take in. In the spring the budding leaves and sprouting grass looked beautiful even in their premature state and there was an enchanting echo when it’d rain. In the summer the green leaves made a beautiful canopy. In the fall the fallen leaves would cover the ground completely causing loud rustling and crunching when it’s walked on.

It had been a regular morning when I saw him. This person. This angel. In the woods there’s a trail that went around the whole park and that’s where I saw him. He was running on that early morning. The small patches of red on his nose and cheeks were bright against his milk white skin. He jogged at a good pace from the top of the small hill to the bottom until I could no longer see him.

I wished I could go outside. But I couldn’t. The bracelet around my ankle reminded me that I couldn’t. I left the window and sat down in my living room, watching the grandfather clock tick away. I looked down at my ankle, covered by my checkered pajama pants was the bracelet. I thought back as to how I got this restraint placed upon me.

I was with my best friend Changmin, who happened to be a cop. We were hanging out as we did habitually on Friday nights. We were discussing football, women, politics, and then it went black for me. I can’t remember how or why but he was underneath me with a swollen cheek and bloody nose. Then I was in handcuffs, in the back of a patrol car, my eyes locked with Changmin who was in the back of an ambulance being cleaned up. His eyes were full of hate. I had just ended a ten year friendship over something. What that something was will never be known to me since my memory failed me and he no longer talks to me.

We had never been the type of friends that would argue. We got along well. I guess that’s what shocked me the most about this restraint. The fact that he might’ve said something so bad that would make me black out and assault an officer. A friend. A brother.

The clock struck 8 o’clock and it was time for my probation officer to call me. We’d talk business for about half an hour and then leisurely for the next half an hour. Him more than myself seeing as he had a family and I lived alone near the woods.

The woods.

They made me think of the angel I saw earlier this morning.

“Anything new?” I heard his voice question. New? Of course not. My life is boring inside this place. The house had a nice exterior but the interior was dull. It reflected my current state of mind. The state of mind that came upon me after I had assaulted my own friend. “Anything, Yunho?”

Why did he persist in asking me? Of course there wasn’t. I didn’t want to tell him about the angel I had seen. He didn’t need to know about that. But of course, needing to bring some sort of excitement into my life, my lips began to speak of the angel I saw. “I saw someone ethereal today.”

“Interesting. Did you say anything to them?”

Of course not and you know the reason as to why I didn’t. Sometimes I wondered why I didn’t hang up after the half an hour of business talk. “No. He sort of slipped my eye; he was running.”

“Slipped your eye? Was he running fast?”

“No, I was just spacing out.” As I usually do. I’ve told you about this before. Do you ignore me when I talk?

“Ah, I see. Well, there’s no restriction on visitors so, maybe one day you can invite him in? Or try to talk to him and I’ll bring him over one day?”

Why are you trying to help me? The only person I interact with since that incident is you. My sister, seeing as she had just been proposed to by Changmin at that time, doesn’t talk to me either. Having only one person to talk to is nice. No stress or drama. The biggest plus is it’s scheduled for only a short amount of time. “Oh. Maybe.” I mumble nonetheless.

“Well, our hour is up Yunho. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

Of course you will. You have to. “Ok. Have a nice day.”

After I hung up I stared at the phone. It was a present from my last lover. Not exactly the last one but the last decent one. All the other “relationships” I had were terrible and only lasted a few weeks at most. This one, it last three years. I had met him at Changmin’s Police Academy graduation. He had planned to set us up one day but one day seemed to be years away so I made the effort and talked to him first. The start of the relationship was slow but after the first two months, it was like we’d known each other for years. His name was Junsu. He was so energetic and bubbly, complementing my seriousness. Seeing him would automatically bring a smile to my face which confused a lot of people that were close to me. I was never one to smile frequently so when they saw me smile around Junsu, they’d always comment “love will do that you” or some cheesy love comment.

We were in love. It was a perfect relationship. No arguments. No problems. Everything was perfect. Even when we’d disagree about something we’d compromise. I guess what everyone said was right. Love will do that to you. If only love had stopped him from walking out of my life. If only love had stopped him from cheating on me. If only love had stopped him from finding someone that loved him more than I did. If only love had stopped him from falling out of its embrace when it came to me.

I guess I learned that people change. No matter who you are to them. Apologies aren’t accepted and pleading doesn’t work anymore.

After a day of doing nothing–something that has become a regular thing for me, I decided to go to bed. TV was no longer entertaining and I didn’t have internet since it was assumed I‘d find a way to get out of my house arrest.

I went to bed with Junsu’s bright smile in my mind. I don’t know why I thought of him before falling asleep. I haven’t done that since our breakup. The tears that had welled up and fallen from my face were because of that beautiful smile of his. The one that brightened up my whole world. The one that I would go to bed to every night, the smile I would wake up to every morning. The one that would visit me at work on some days and the smile I would see after going on a date. His beautiful smile. His high-pitched voice. His duck . His adorable laugh. I loved everything about him but he obviously didn’t love everything about me. And if he did, I wonder what made him stop loving everything about me. Who could’ve been better than me to make him stop loving me? Never mind. I don’t want to bring up the past and bring a temporary state of sadness–of depression on me. I don’t need anything more in my life to bring me down.

The next morning I decide to wake up a bit early and go outside for a run. I probably wasn’t allowed to do that—no I wasn’t allowed to do that but I decided to anyway. If I wanted to meet the angel I had seen the other morning I was going to have to take matters into my own hands and go outside. I started on my first lap and as I was beginning my second one, he joined me.

“You run here often?”

“Every once in a while,” I panted. His voice was breathy which added to the level of his attraction.

“I’m Jaejoong,” he introduced himself as we slowly descended the small hill.

“Yunho.”

“Yunho, nice name.” I wished he could say my name again and again. With heavier breath and flushed cheeks because of heat instead of the chill of the outside air. I controlled my thoughts and focused on keeping the pace with him.

We ran two more laps in comfortable silence, just our low pants filling the fall air before stopping. He placed his hands on his hips as he stood up straight, head lolled back as he panted. I was hunched over, palms steady on my knees as I let my head hang forward. I looked up at him and saw his eyes locked on me which caused him to turn his head the other direction quickly. I let out a breathy chuckle as I let my head hang low again. “You all right?”  

“Yeah…j-just spacing out…”

“Just spacing out huh?” I muttered. He rubbed the back of his neck and I smirked, slowly standing up from my hunched position. “So, Jaejoong,” I started, causing him to look back at me. “Would you like to rest at my place for a few minutes? It’s right over there,” I pointed toward the fence that separated my neighbor’s house and my own from the woods.

“Sure. But just for a few minutes because I have to get to work soon,” he told me.

We started towards my house with small talk, my part of the conversation leaving out as many details as possible. I couldn’t let the angel know I was the exact opposite of him. I wasn’t kind like I had made myself out to be. I was the opposite. I was someone who was short-tempered and controlling. A freak show. A psycho. A–

“Yunho. You okay?” His voice brought me back to reality. “You almost ran into that tree.”

I looked up in front of me and there was the tree. I stepped back and gave him a meek smile. “Y-Yeah I’m fine. I just got lost in my thoughts.”

We reached my house and stepped inside. I offered him a seat on the couch and headed to the kitchen, grabbing two bottles of water. I gulped half of my bottle down while he sipped his slowly.

“So,” he started as he placed the cap back on the bottle, “it’d be nice to have a running partner. Do you mind being mine? It gets lonely out there.”

My heart skipped a beat. I couldn’t believe he just asked that. I nodded and smiled, “Sure.” Being able to see him every day would definitely bring some type of excitement in my life. Even if it wasn’t anything major.

“Sounds like a plan. So we could meet up at the top of the hill at five, Monday through Friday? I don’t run on the days I don’t work.”

“Of course. Whenever you can, I can. Better than sleeping late and wasting the day away.”

“Cool,” he rose from the couch and I stood as well. “I have to go. Don’t want to be late. See you tomorrow, Yunho.”

I walked him to the door, “Yeah. See you tomorrow.” He smiled as he stepped out of the door and onto the lawn, heading toward the trail in the woods. I closed the door with a sigh. I was happy I broke the rules.

“You what?!” My probation officer yelled.

I pulled the phone away from my ear. “I went outside. I can’t stay cooped up in here doing nothing. Do you want me to be fat?” He remained silent. “Exactly.”

“Well, I don’t see what’s so bad with you going outside for a jog. At least you’re not trying to escape. Anyway, I think this would be a good time to try to get some leniency for you. Being stuck in your house for almost six months is plenty of punishment for you. I think it’s time you get your life back.”

“Thanks man. I appreciate it.” I smiled when I said those words. I truly meant them. If he was able to get me my life back, I’d be the happiest man in the world. He hung up soon after and I couldn’t wait for tomorrow to come.

The next day came and went quickly. Jaejoong and I ran our laps and we went back to my place and chatted for a few minutes. I talked to my probation officer but there was no news of getting my life back. Of finally being able to go into the city and enjoy myself, to have a good time. The days continued to pass and there still wasn’t any news about my freedom. I was beginning to grow impatient.

It was a Saturday when I received the call. “Really?” I stood from my seat on the couch.

“Yes. You’re free to go wherever you want. Someone will come by your house in an hour to take your anklet off.” I blocked off whatever my probation officer was saying. Freedom. I can leave my house. Go out for more than just a morning jog. I can work. I can go out and enjoy myself. I could enjoy myself with Jaejoong. I become excited and feel the want to tell him the news build up but it quickly dies. He doesn‘t know anything about that part of my past. “You still have to call me though. Once a week instead of everyday now since you’ll be a free man,” I hear his voice again. I don’t respond and he continues, “I’m guessing you’re speechless so I’ll talk to you whenever I talk to you.”

I quickly hang up the phone and begin to pace. I can’t believe it. My breaking of the rules actually got me somewhere. It got me to freedom. I open the door and almost all of the windows. I become excited as the fresh, chilly, autumn air makes its way through my entire house, bringing with it another feeling of freedom.

The man comes in the hour and removes the anklet. He smiles at me after he removes it, the current smile on my face is contagious. After he leaves, I head upstairs and shower. The first thing I need to do is go shopping for everything. It may sound feminine but it’s not just for myself but for my house. It needs a new look. A free look.

The trees are completely bare in the woods. The floor covered by the discarded leaves. I told Jaejoong that I would like to see him more and he happily agreed. The angel had become mine. I could finally hear his laugh and listen to him tell stories in something other than a track suit and the woods. Our trail in the woods.

My credit cards are maxed out because of my shopping. I replaced all the furniture and appliances. Repainted the entire inside of the house and even replaced half of my wardrobe. I shuffle through the clothes that hung in my closet as I look for something to wear tonight. Jaejoong and I are going to go out for dinner, and I’m a nervous wreck. I decide to wear a black blazer with a white v-neck underneath with a pair of jeans. I smile as I exit my front door, the evening air welcoming me into the night.

Jaejoong laughed, “That’s so crazy.” I just told him a story from my high school days when I was a better person than I am now. “I would’ve never imagined you to be like that.” If only you knew who I really am. We continued to eat with small conversation sharing stories and laughs. I miss this. Being able to go on a date and enjoy myself. I stop eating and just smile at Jaejoong. He looks up and lets out a nervous laugh, “Do I have something on my face?”

“You do but I don’t think you could ever take it off,” I replied.

“What is it?”

“Beauty.”

We’re a tangled mess, bumping into furniture and walls as we try to find the couch. When the back of Jaejoong’s knee hits it, we both fall onto it, never separating our lips. I work my way down his jawline and neck, stopping at his collarbone and then going back up. I place a kiss near his ear and feel him shudder underneath me. “Found your weak spot you were telling me about,” I smirked. He laughs and I continue to kiss up and down his neck, not wanting to go down without his permission. I reach to his shirt and then I feel his hands on my chest, pushing me off the couch.

I land on the floor with a loud thud and he straddles me and smirks. “You don’t think you’d be having all the fun would you?” He drops forward and begins to kiss me, our tongues and breathy moans colliding. He moves down my jawline and neck as I did but instead bites down. I know there’ll be a mark there. He works his way down confidently, kissing the middle of my chest, his lips just reaching the hem of the v-neck. I feel his hands reach under my shirt, raising it up so that I’m now bare. He kisses down the middle of my abdomen and it sends a surge of pleasure all over my body. I feel his lips and breath under my navel and his fingers lifting up at the top of my jeans. I haven’t felt this good since…

“Junsu…” I moan. I feel him stop along with the world. Did I really do that just now? Why in the hell would I do such a thing?

Jaejoong sits up, “Who’s Junsu?” I cover my eyes with my hand, not daring to look him in the eye. “You know what, don’t answer that.” Good because I wasn’t going to. He gets up and I hear him walk towards the door, picking up his jacket and keys. The door slams shut. Dammit.

Way to ruin a perfect night. 

Instead of making you guys wait longer for the entire chapter I thought that this would be a good place to temporarily stop and post it. It is actually almost over but I want to drag it out as much as possible. When I do finish the story, I will delete this chapter and post the entire chapter. I hope you guys enjoyed it.

The reason as to why this is literally almost a year overdue is because I was lazy and forgot about it and had no inspiration. (even though I made an abridge non-fanfic version for school). I know how it's going to end but I want it to be perfect, at least as close to perfect as it will get. I also need to check my tenses. in the beginning i started in past tense but it changed—sorry if I'm bothering you guys with this A/N. Again hope you guys liked it. Please don't be a silent reader but hey, it's okay if you are. Also if you are a beta person editor person thingy idk what they're called, send me a PM or wall post about my tenses and what I should do to fix them. Thanks and sorry for the long wait! Also sorry for the format. I'm currently too lazy to fix it and it's almost 2AM and I need to sleep because I have a 1PM class tomorrow. I'll try to fix it tomorrow after class but no promises. Sorry for the format and I hope it's not confusing