chapter thirteen

Walking my way to the chicken station where Tao works at has never been this heart-racing. I need to tell him what I know and I believe it’s best if I see him face to face. I looped my hair in a bun as I was a few blocks away from the restaurant. After all, I constantly need to hide my identity.

I open the glass door and let myself in the shop a good six people are already at. Considering it’s 10AM of a Sunday today, it’s the best time to get Tao a short break from work. I walk myself towards the serving table that connects with the wall and ask an employee to call him out. The moment he did, I’m already sitting on the chair of a two-sitter table situated in the middle of the restaurant; my back facing the front door.

“What is it?” He asks as he sits on the opposite chair. I really don’t want to bother him with all this but I think he’s the only one that can help me. Or maybe I’m just giving out reasons to find someone I can share my problem with. At least I’d feel less of the stress.

“I think I almost got caught.”

“What?” When he shouts, I swear the few people in our room turn their heads in our direction. Tao is quick enough to glare them away.

I watch around and continue to talk when everyone goes back to their businesses. “I know! I was a bit woozy when I let it happen.” Confusion is evident on his face that I explain further. “I walked out of the house with my hair in a ponytail and the bruises on my knees visible.”

“Then?”

I lean myself closer to him afraid that someone might hear this conversation. “I went in a brawler’s unit. I’m not sure if he’s even a brawler or just someone behind the curtains but… I’m sure they are because you told me about them.” I whisper.

“I did.” He casually answers as if listing down all the people he introduced to me. “Which ones?”

“Junmyeon and Yixing. I forgot the other one’s name but I saw him nights ago. He’s… tall, taller than you.” It must have been my eyes but I think I see Tao flinch from the names.

He composes himself. “Did they recognize you? Did they show any move of slyness?” Unfortunately, his unsteady voice gives it away. I’m turning scared from the way Tao reacts with this. He never acted this badly even during the worst times before. Am I really in trouble?

“I… I don’t know. But maybe not.” I try and make the words come out of my mouth. My paranoia starts to slowly creep down to my very core. I’m not feeling good about this at all.

He breathes in. “Why are you so worried?” The worry and stiffness already left his face. I guess he doesn’t find this worrisome then. I’m not sure if it will still be like this when I tell him why.

“The three of them… they go to the same school I’m in.” I don’t even know how I manage to choke the words out when he suddenly leans closer, his face full of alertness. Something must have worked up his mind for him to act this way. I mean, he was getting calm seconds ago.

It’s not really that I’m afraid for my life. I could care less about that. It’s rather the people around me, the innocent people around me that I feel worried of. They know nothing about this life I live. What if the underground cheats would use them against me? I don’t want to endanger their lives because of my carelessness. It doesn't even help the fact that I am undefeated. Many brawlers are jealous of me, believe it or not. Some of them are crazy enough to dirty the game just to take away from me that title I don’t even give a damn about. The thing is, title or not, I can’t risk them knowing the important people I live for. I have to stay away from them.

“Hajin! Hajin, come on!” Tao whispers, snapping his fingers against my face. I must have been out of it for a while. “Look, there are three people behind the translucent glass walls of the restaurant right now.” My eyes widen and I twist my back to look.

“What do you mean-”

He pulls me back fast enough that I don’t see. “Don’t look back. They’re not here for you.”

“I don’t understand. Then why-”

I try another attempt but he makes sure I don’t move this time at all. He holds me so tightly by my resting arms on the table. I can’t move even if I want to. “Whatever happens, don’t look back. Count five seconds after I stand then walk your way towards the back door. Follow the narrow alleyway and run after reaching the open road. Whatever happens, keep running and don’t look back.”

I was about to protest when he suddenly stands from his chair eyeing me one last time to not be stubborn and do as he says. For other’s lives at stake, I follow exactly what Tao had told me to do. It’s weird. It feels like I’m inside a ticking clock. Sometimes I think time is chasing me. Other times I run after it. Right now though, I don’t even know which part I am of it. My mind is just set with the goal of walking out that damned back door and run my life for safety. If they are from the underground like I think they are, then I definitely shouldn’t be seen in casual clothes like this.

I twist the knob open and slowly make my way outside. Before I fully close it up, I manage to look over the glass wall. I can’t make out faces but they seem calm and untroubled. Maybe they’re just here to visit him. But Tao, he looks rigid. As if he doesn’t want to be where he is now. I write a mental note to ask him about them later. I hope he’d answer.

I push the door close and rest my back on the wall outside. With slow breathing, I close my eyes and think of times when Tao and I were still freely doing what we want to do without a care in the world. Not like today wherein it’s always the void of emotion façade. I miss those happy times. I miss joking around with him. And I miss them the most.

I admire Tao. Even then until now, he still knows how to control things; what to do on situations. Most of the times I’m like that too. Unfortunately sometimes, my mind just goes haywire. I open my eyes and push all those thoughts aside. They still matter, but they can’t help me right now.

Slowly, as to not make any alarming footstep noises, I walk towards the corner of the alley. The road is right in front of me, after a few feet of a sidewalk, and I’m tempted whether to peep in and look or just run all the way. After all, it’s not like me to run away from circumstances like this. But Tao’s words ring in my ears like a broken plaque. You see sometimes, it only takes Tao’s words for me to do things right.

I breathe in and dash away, not even bothering to look back. It’s been a while since I ran like this. It must have been a good thing I chose to wear my running shoes today.

---

The place was badly lit. The lights were very dim as everything was silent. Constant shallow breaths were the only sound filling in the empty parking lot. And then a wince of pain covered the place. “Just…k-keep doing this… come on…” He muttered something but the blood in his mouth prevented me to understand his words. “That all… you got?” He scoffed and I kicked him by the rib once again. “Go die.” I spat out stingy words and he just forcefully laughed at it. “Mark this day… child… never f-forget this day…” He hissed. I felt myself being shuddered and pulled that I open my eyes.

I immediately get a hold of the person’s arm, twist it by his back and slam his face on the desk. My breathing is so heavy I need to calm myself. “Hajin-ah, come on! Let go!” It is only after I hear Baekhyun’s voice that I loosen my grip on his arm and neck. “Ow… I never realized you were this strong…” He comments on as he rubs the places I tightly gripped on earlier to lessen the pain. They’re even turning red from the pressure I used.

The people who are left in the room are still astonishingly staring at us. I’ve only noticed it now that we’re actually in a classroom. The professor is no longer around. I guess it’s already lunch time.

“Okay everyone show’s over continue what you were doing.” Kyungsoo claps his hand to garner everyone’s attention. As he speaks those words, the students pick up their belongings and hurriedly run toward the front and back doors. I never knew he was beside me too. Was I that lost in my thoughts?

Baekhyun slides the strap of his bag by his shoulder as he waves a hand in front of me. “Hajin? Are you okay? You look paler than usual.” It didn’t cross my mind to wear any form of make up today. I guess I should have used some.

“Was it a nightmare?” Kyungsoo asks with concern. I don’t know if I should call it a nightmare considering some of it did happen. They don’t need to worry or even know though so I nod my head.

The three of us walk our way to the cafeteria and while they search for an empty table for two to seat at, I continue my way towards our usual table. As you can see, not everyone here gets to own a table. It’s sad, but yes, this school isn’t free of social judgment. I bet if the students here know the fact that Baekhyun and Kyungsoo have mansions, they could eat lunch as soon as they walk in. Of course, there are reasons why they camouflage with the crowd. They can stand out, but they choose not to. It’s one of the few reasons I let them observe me, I should say. I find peace and normalcy with them.

When I reach the table, I almost couldn’t believe that Jongdae’s already sitting on his chair. Out of mind, I sit on mine and take out the food dad has prepared for me. I’m like a dead person moving out of sheer responsibility; out of need. Maybe I just realized it now, but it has been so long since I became like this. Of course, it’s because I have to.

“Hajin-ah, are you sick?” Luhan notices. I shake my head to say otherwise and continue to eat my lunch.

Jongdae clears his throat and puts down his chopsticks. “I heard you slept the whole morning.” . “Why? You know, you’re lucky the professors were too busy to notice you.” His brows are in a furrow. I stop myself from retorting accusations by telling him I planned to sleep the whole Saturday. After all, I was the one who agreed to come with him then.

“It’s not that they were busy,” Jongin chuckles and points fingers at me. “It’s because Sehun-ssi made sure she’s present for attendance. He even answered all the questions of the professors. It was like he’s the only student around. It was easy not to notice this sleepyhead after all that. Of course, we couldn’t contradict with what he’s trying to do. Everyone needs a break from mindboggling questions…” The three of them wear knowing smiles as Jongin keeps on talking while I involuntarily turn my head to look at the table a few meters from ours.

I’m no longer surprised how Sehun’s wearing that mocking smile while staring at me. I’m pretty sure he gets the gist of what we’re talking about here. I look away before the three can see who I’m looking at. But I really don’t understand. Why would Sehun do all of that for me? I highly believe it’s too much of a doing for a mere stranger or acquaintance – since I don’t think we’re friends yet – if I ever want him to be one. I don’t want to be bugged out by it but at the same time I don’t want to come up to him and ask him why.

Jongdae nudges me by my rib. “Yah! Aren’t you going to eat?” I turn to look at him as I hiss at the stinging pain but just smile when I see his face. I’m glad I have my best friend back, even when I didn’t really lose him to begin with. I just hope this fluttery feeling I have for him won’t be an obstacle for our friendship anymore. I’ll really do my best to be casual about it from now on. For our many years of stable friendship and counting, even if it’ll hurt me, I have to do it.

“You didn’t have to hit me, you know.” I grit my teeth. The pain is searing from the point of impact and all over but it’s a calming fact that Jongdae just grins at me and ruffles my hair to a mess. It means he doesn’t realize I’m in a deeper pain than I should be. It might be weird, but I could never be any happier about it.

My guard is at a high level alert in school especially now that I’m alone. I’m basically walking along an empty hallway. Anything can happen. It that of all the times I could be pointed out by the professor to do an errand it has to be a class where neither the guys nor Sehun are around. Yes, Sehun. I was pretty sure he’ll take the responsibility if he was there. Now I’m forced to walk down two floors and a long hallway to reach the faculty room.

Before I could though, someone unlikely stops me.

She pushes herself off the wall she was sitting on. It was low enough for her to reach. After all, it is meant for sitting and a casual bench-like place for silly girls who watch varsities practice basketball. The court can be clearly seen from here apparently. “You’re here.” She says.

I stop from walking. “You would know.” I deadpan.

“It took you long enough.” I can see it through her eyes she’s trying so hard to act tough and not stutter. What a definite weakling.

“Isn’t the little angel acting brave now. You even dropped formalities I see. Aren’t you a sophomore?” I really don’t want to do this but seeing there isn’t going to be a live show today, I might as well please myself and humiliate her in front of me. I like it better when I’m the only one knowing things after all. I look down by her knees and I can see it trembling. If she can’t control her shaking then she shouldn’t have used the professor to have made me come here.

“You should stop being playful with oppa.” She shouts. I should give her a thumb up for even trying.

I raise my eyebrow showing a bored face. I sigh as I roll eyes. “Who are you to tell me what to do?” I walk closer and look down at her. I told you, she needs more height.

“I’m his girlfriend.”

I mockingly laugh at her answer. “I have no time for this.” I want to say more but I hear the bell ringing and people slowly dispersing on the hallway from their rooms. I don’t want having the attention on me. I’m already gaining a lot of it when I’m in brawls. I’m getting tired of it.

I accidentally hit her by the shoulder as I walk pass her. Who am I kidding though? I believe I meant to do that. “Yah Hajin-ssi!” She screams so I stop. What a bluff. She’s even using formalities now that people are everywhere and actually gathering around us. Such a pathetic move that is. I keep walking not bothering to look back and see how what I thought of is true.

Maybe she’s just so desperate that she grasps my arm and forcefully turns me around. “Didn’t you hear me calling you?” I click my tongue and shake my head sardonically. I can’t do anything about this anymore. I tried to save her the humiliation she’ll get but she is just too persistent.

“I heard you pretty well. You just weren’t worth a fight.” I say and the people around us, as fickle as they are, respond the loudest. I already lost to you once. I rip away from her hold. Only a weakling like her would stumble a few steps from my effortless move to get her hands off me.

“Why are you such a ?” She asks. That’s it. I’m not gonna walk away from here without putting up a fight. Girlfriend or not, she has no right to call me that. She just stepped on a line she’ll never get out from.

I can hear whispers saying she shouldn’t have messed with me. I can’t say no to that. “Look here, I believe you got it all wrong. You see, from the looks of it you’re the little who’s trying to break a friendship that was established years ago, before you even pushed yourself in his life.” Burn.

“What are you talking about?” She asks. Playing the victim card here, I see.

“I thought council members were smart. What a pity you must be.” I turn around to the students. “Do you want to know why she’s talking to me?” I ask and they shout their different versions of approval. Of course, the crowd is a bunch of helpless gossipers. “Well she ordered me to stop being playful with Jongdae. Not even ask.” I turn back at her. I can tell she’s afraid.

She looks down. “Why did you have to say that?” I walk closer to her. “They deserve to know the truth.” I whisper and walk a few steps back.

“Why are you like this to me?”

I almost scoff at her answer. I stay indifferent though. “Don’t think you’re someone special. I’m like this to everybody. I’m even worse as an enemy.” The crowd exchanges whispers. I can hear all the past rumors they’ve made of me since the first drop-out incident. All the people who have done exactly like this all end up transferring schools the next day or two. It’s been a while since a drop-out case. I always get away from the accusations though. I have my ways to be deemed not guilty of something I somehow manipulated after all. I’m a smart kid, remember?

I bend down to whisper by her ear so only she can hear. “You know, you shouldn’t have started it. It seems like the crowd is with me. I won.” I straighten my back the moment I finished saying those words to her. I turn and start to walk away once again. I obviously am caught red-handed when she pushes me by the shoulder with all her might. The floor is a bit slippery too so I fall too quickly on the ground with my elbows barely supporting my heavy weight. I think I scraped my skin somewhere. My body stings and I remember my rib hitting the cold floor hard. . Of all times she could have done this!

I don’t even realize I’ve been wincing in pain until I hear her voice a bit wobbly. I don’t move much. Even the littlest movement hurt. “H-hajin… I didn’t mean to… I’m sorry...” I can hear snide remarks of the people from what she just said. Everyone saw it. She obviously meant to push me down. I don’t even feel any bit of sorry for her now. She deserves it.

I’m still lying on the floor when all the noises die down. I can feel someone bend over beside me but I’m still closing me eyes from the pain that I can’t see who it is. “You can’t possibly be sorry about it now, can you?” From the way the formality rolls out of his mouth, I know instantly who it is.

“I didn’t p-push her hard… she’s obviously over-reacting…” Isn’t she stuttering now? Good for her then.

He moves around and picks me up by my neck and behind the knees. I can’t move much so he does the effort to put my arms around his neck for safer carrying. “If you think she’ll waste the energy to act hurt in front of you then dream on. You’re obviously not worth it.” He says emphasizing the last sentence. He starts to walk as the crowd gives way for us to. Meanwhile, I bet all my might that that little princess is crying right now. I could care less. I just hope she doesn’t twist up stories to have Jongdae on her side. I would throw up for that.

I think we have walked far enough to silence the ringing noises earlier. My eyes are starting to blur down too as a matter of fact. “You are one little devil, you know that.” He whispers and I look up to see him grinning. I scrunch my brows of confusion. Any second now I’ll totally lose it.

“You’re my little devil.” See?

Helloooo! I'm sorry for being three days late,
But here is the update. ^^
I was contemplating whether to reveal things this early or not, 
So I had to think well about it.
Anyway, a little fight to heat things up, lmao.
I hope you like the update. ^^