I was suffocated. The smell of a place I left 5 years ago stung in my nostrils. I shook my head. It seemed too real to believe. Why did I decide to come back? I didn’t understand myself. After all the fuss I had to endure, I still came back. This place has nothing but painful memories.

I walked my way out of the arrival hall and saw a familiar man, standing in his black working tuxedo; crossing his arms; but he quickly bowed when he spotted me. I sighed. I walked towards his direction with my luggage and he greeted;

“You’re back, sir! You look better now,”. He smiled and patted my back. I could only let out an insincere smile. “Mr. Han, you’ve aged,”. We both laughed. I missed talking to this man. He’s not a father of mine, he’s just the company’s secretary, but he took care of me as if I am his only son, he took care of me better than my own parents.

We walked to the car and I told him I wanted to drive, but he refused to let me drive. He said that I need rest. I might be having jet lagged after 18 hours of flight. I nodded and sat next to the driver’s seat. He knew I would never let him drive without sitting next to him. I sat comfortably and after few minutes, I was already in a deep sleep.

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Mr. Han woke me up. I rubbed my eyes and my vision became clear. I was confused. I looked at him and asked for explanation just by making face expression. He then explained; “The President wants to meet you once you arrived. He ordered me to bring you here.” His voice sounded calm and cautious. I nodded. Honestly, I have expected that. I took a deep breath, fixed my hair by looking at the seat mirror, rubbed my eyes once again and patted my sleepy face.

Mr. Han opened the door for me while I was still patting my cheeks and I gave him a stare; disapproving his action. He smiled and I hopped down, closed the door and walked after him. I haven’t talked much hence I chewed some Mentos I had in my pocket. We walked up the elevator. I was, of course, nervous with the thought of having to meet the President in few minutes after cutting contact with him for the past 5 years.

I recalled the day I left. Mom called me to the President’s study room, and I went up to meet her and the President. I knocked the door and walked in, smiling brightly like I used to. I saw them both sitting down on the sofa, while a figure I adored so much was kneeling in front of them. The weak and fragile figure was kneeling down in front of them, begging and crying. My expression changed. I stopped at the door trying to synthesize everything that was happening in front of my eyes.

I looked at the President’s expression, he was expressionless and my mom was crossing her arms looking disgusted while kicking the girl’s hands that were put on her feet. I ran up straight to the girl; Yoo Ara. I called out her name; “Ara-ya!” I pulled her up, trying to get her on her knees but she stubbornly remained kneeling down in front of my mom, crying and begging. Her voice is still clear to me up until today. “Ma’am, don’t make me leave. I love Jongin so much I couldn’t bear to be apart. I won’t take the money, I won’t stay close, but just don’t send me away,”, she begged my mom.

I was shocked. A few days ago, I told mom about her, showed her the picture of the girl I am in love with. Her reaction was good, she was happy that Ara is such a nice, pretty and educated girl. She said it doesn’t matter if she wasn’t from a wealthy family, as long as she’s educated. I was extremely happy. My mom liked the girl I love. But after not even a week, they wanted to send her away? I couldn’t understand what they plotted in their minds.

I hugged Ara, tightly and used all my strength to pull her up but stopped when the President told me to move away. I turned my face looking at him. I never wanted to be rude, but I couldn’t take the situation any longer so I shouted at him; “What is wrong with you?!! Why are you doing this?! Both of you are animals without feelings. I love her and I really do. If you want her to leave and stay away from me, I will go too!!!”. I was so mad, that I could feel the heat coming up to my head, making my face flushed in red.

I grabbed Ara’s arm and pulled her out of the room and we went out of the house. I yelled at her; “What were you doing?! Begging them?! Do you have to go that far?!!! Can’t you just walk off and ignore them?! Why must you cry and beg them?!!! I told you I will handle this myself!! Ignore them!!”.

I was extremely mad, I needed to calm myself down before something bad came to me and I ran across the road. I couldn’t face her. I couldn’t see her crying for me. I couldn’t let that happen to her. But it happened. I should have warned her. I should have told her sooner. I shouldn’t have told mom about her. I should have protected her. I was the one to be blamed. I should be the one responsible. But I couldn’t face her, just yet. I felt so bad. I didn’t know what I have done for her happiness. I should have taken her with me. I should have kissed away her tears. I should have hugged her and made her feel warm; that would stop her from trembling out of fear. I stopped running, turned back and ran a few steps before I stopped again.

I saw a swarming of crowds in the middle of the road. Cars stopped making the road congested and someone in the crowd was yelling out to call for ambulance, while the others were talking to each other and had terrified look in their eyes. My head is filled with a lot of mixed emotions. I was hoping it has nothing to do with Ara. I hoped it was… nothing… when I came nearer and realized…

The pale looking Ara was lying down on the road, thick red blood covered her white pale face and her lips were trembling as if she was trying to utter something. I unconsciously pushed everyone who was blocking me and bended down next to her, held her head and lifted it on my lap, caressed her face and tried to read her colourless lips.

I lowered my head down trying to listen to her and that’s when I heard, her final breath. Her breath I used to listen to when I fell asleep next to her, her breath when I woke up sleepily next to her, her breath when we kissed, that final breath… Ara’s unfortunate final breath, that led me to stay away from the mansion for 5 years.

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We stepped out of the elevator, and I headed to the President’s room, and sat on the sofa, patiently waiting for him to finish his other businesses while playing with my phone.

He came in and I stood up, greeted him like I used to years ago, and he did not even hug, even a handshake, no. None. I sat down after I was asked to and he asked few questions about me heartlessly and I answered, heartlessly.

He told me to come to work as soon as possible, it would have been better if I started off today, which to me was an obvious stupidity and inhumane of him to ask me such a favour. But knowing him for the past 28 years, that is just the normal him. I endured it, and told him I’ll start working in two days, since I need to find my own place to stay, and I planned not to stay where I used to.

He gave me a nod, saying that I should prepare myself before coming back, but I ignored him. After we’re done talking, I went out and asked Mr. Han to lend me the car. I decided to give myself a ride around Seoul, after leaving the place for 5 years, somehow I missed how it looks like and the smell of it.

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I was driving along the main road when suddenly a lady aimlessly trying to cross the road when the light has yet to turn red for me. I braked the car and stopped in a shock; it was highly dangerous and the lady seemed lost in her thought, so I decided to give her a piece of my mind.

I scrolled down the window and said; “You should walk with your brain! Wake up and have some sense!” She continuously apologized and looking at her made my heart broke and torn into pieces, knowing that if Ara has lived her years up until today, she should have been just like the lady, going to work and hang out with friends… I shook my head to get my sense back on track and scoffed. I drove off and went to meet her, Ara, the  place that made her rest in peace.