Two months. Two months was all it took. Two months of late night talking when everyone else was sleeping. Two months of sweet kisses and sneaking into the other’s bedroom late at night and cuddling. Two months was all it took. To fall for him.

It has already been over a month since I was assigned to be an undercover cop for a gang called ‘B.A.P’. It was my duty to report to my unit at the station when the gang would do something that we could catch them in the act and throw them in prison for. I was promised a promotion and a raise, so how could I reject the offer at the time?

I had managed to join the gang and move in with them. It didn’t take long for them to trust me and accept me as their own. And it didn’t take long for me to forget the reason why I joined the gang in the first place.

I looked over at the gang sitting around the small table eating breakfast; at Yongguk, the leader and oldest, eating quietly, Himchan nagging at the younger kids to be quiet and eat, Jongup who was cracking jokes, Zelo who was complaining that the table was too low and his knees touched the top, and Daehyun… he looked over at me and smiled, and I smiled back before turning away, last night's memories still fresh in my mind.

How could I betray them? Sure, the gang was breaking countless laws, but they weren’t as bad as the cops at the station made them out to be. They didn’t hurt anybody. At least not intentionally. Just for self defense. They were a family fighting to survive; a group of guys from broken homes who had nowhere to go.

I shook my thoughts away and got up.

“You done eating?” Himchan asked.

“Yes, mother,” I replied as Himchan scowled.

Daehyun burst out laughing.

“Shut up,” Himchan snapped, as Jongup and Zelo giggled.

“I’ll be back,” I said, heading for the door.

“Where are you going?” Yongguk asked.

“I need to get some stuff to program the computer. You wouldn’t know the names of them even if I tell you,” I teased.

“Well, hurry back,” Yongguk grumbled. I saluted and left quickly.

I was supposed to meet up with my buddy at the station to discuss how things were going. The boss was getting impatient and I was running out of time.

I headed to the coffee shop we decided to meet at.

“Hey!” Jaebum, or JB like he liked to be called, greeted me.

“Hey,” I sat down at the table.

“How’s it going?” JB asked.

“Nothing new…” I replied.

“Jae, the boss is getting impatient. He wants them out of the picture by the end of this month before they cause more trouble.”

I stared at JB. “But, they’re not even doing anything worth arresting them for!” I hissed quietly. Technically, it was true… we had managed to break in to a few homes, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell him that. It wasn’t enough to sentence the gang to a life sentence like they wanted. And the guys down at the station probably already knew anyway.

JB gave me a long, hard look. “Well, I’m just relaying the message. If you don’t report anything to the boss in about a week, I think he has his own plans.”

“And what exactly is that?” I snapped.

JB shrugged. “No idea. But you know how he can be.”

I sighed. “Well, I have to get back. They’ll start to get suspicious.”

“You’re pretty much part of the gang now, huh?” JB laughed.

I laughed too, a little too forced.

We said our farewells and I started heading back to the place I now called ‘home’.  

As soon as I opened the door, I noticed it was too quiet. I started heading to my room when I felt a pair of strong arms wrapping around my waist.

“Hey,” Daehyun whispered.

“Hey,” I said turning around to face him. “Where are the others?”

“Yongguk hyung is in his room, Himchan hyung is in the garage working on the cars, and I think Jongup and Zelo went somewhere,” Daehyun replied. “Did you get the things you needed?”

“Um… no. They weren’t in stock. I ordered them, so it might take awhile, but I should get them soon enough.”

“Okay,” Daehyun sighed. “Come keep me company,” he said before grabbing my hand and pulling me to the couch.

He the television before resting his head against my shoulder.

We sat there quietly for a few hours, not really watching what was on. Just enjoying each other’s company. How did I end up liking… no, loving him? My thoughts drifted back to that day.

Yongguk had sent just me and Daehyun to scope out a place. We were just walking, making casual talk when suddenly a group of about five guys came out of an alleyway. Since we were outnumbered with nothing to defend ourselves with, we were getting beaten senseless. I couldn’t fight if my life depended on it, and was getting punched and kicked everywhere. I was starting to lose consciousness when I heard the sound of glass shattering and the guy in front of me stumbling back. I looked to see Daehyun holding a busted bottle over his head. The other guys started cursing before half-carrying, half-dragging their friend away. I heard them tell Daehyun to “Tell your precious Yonggukkie to watch out”, before they left. I gasped for air, and Daehyun rushed to my side. Daehyun had a black eye and cuts on his face. The hand holding the bottle was covered in blood. “Youngjae, are you okay?” Daehyun shouted, shaking me. “Youngjae! Jae!” Daehyun said. Before I out, I felt a pair of warm lips on mine. When I gained consciousness, Daehyun was dragging me through our apartment door. “What the happened?” Yongguk asked as Himchan and the rest of the guys hurried over. “We were jumped,” Daehyun said. Himchan and Zelo had carried me to my bed and Jongup brought a first-aid kit from the bathroom. Daehyun had started cleaning up my wounds. “Let Jongup do it. You’re hurt too,” Yongguk had said. “I’m fine,” Daehyun had insisted through clenched teeth. Yongguk sighed, before leaving the room, gesturing the others to follow him. “Let us know if he gets worse,” Himchan said before walking out. Daehyun had cleaned me up, not even bothering with his own wounds. For the next two days, Daehyun had stayed with me to make sure I was alright. We stayed in my bed together all day, and that was when Daehyun kissed me for the second time. I didn’t push him off. I didn’t want to.

I smiled slightly, remembering that day just a few weeks ago and cringing at the thought of the bruises that were slowly fading away on my upper body. Daehyun had fallen asleep with his head on my lap, when I heard the sound of the door opening.

I jumped up and Daehyun fell to the floor.

“Ow!” Daehyun shrieked, glaring at me.

“Hey, hyungs!” Jongup and Zelo greeted us. “We brought dinner!”

“Great! I’m starving!” Daehyun said, pain long forgotten.

“What were you doing on the floor?” Jongup asked.

“Nothing. Just go get the hyungs…” Daehyun said, rushing to the kitchen.

Jongup and Zelo went to get Yongguk and Himchan before we all sat down around the table.

“We have to go meet someone tomorrow,” Yongguk said.

“Who?” Daehyun asked, mouth already full.

“They said they have something important to give us,” Himchan answered instead.

“Who’s they? What something important?” Zelo asked, popping a cherry tomato in his mouth.

“We’ll found out tomorrow,” Yongguk said before getting up. “Do we have any ramen around here?”

“Hyung! Me and Junhong went all the way to Shake Shack to get you guys dinner because they don’t deliver and you’re asking for ramen?” Jongup asked in disbelief.

“You guys are the ones who like burgers, not me,” Yongguk muttered but he sat back down anyway.

We chatted about our day, cleaned up (well the maknaes did), and went to bed.

I was starting to fall asleep, when I heard the door opening and felt the bed sink next to me.

“Dae, we should sleep,” I whined, without even needing to look in his direction.

Daehyun laughed as he pulled me closer to him. I felt his hands moving under my shirt and I playfully slapped him away.

“Hey, none of that,” I warned. "We have a long day tomorrow." I knew he was pouting.

“I love you,” I heard Daehyun say suddenly, quietly.

“What?” I said, taken aback.

“I love you,” Daehyun repeated.

I froze, shocked. “I…I love you too, Dae,” I stuttered.

“Good enough,” he smirked, and soon we fell asleep, his arms still around me.

The next day, we headed for a field where this ‘exchange’ was supposed to take place. Yongguk and Himchan wouldn’t tell us what was going on and the rest of us were complaining and muttering on our way there.

“Shut up, Daehyun,” Himchan said in the car.

“You can at least tell us what’s going on or who we’re going to meet,” Daehyun snapped back.

“We’re going to meet another leader from a gang to exchange some important information, okay? Now shut up and finish your sandwich,” Himchan snapped back.

Daehyun angrily stuffed the rest of his sandwich in his mouth and we went the rest of the way in silence.

We stopped at an open field and noticed it was empty.

We got out of the car and waited, tense.

“You came,” a voice said from a distance.

A bald guy with sunglasses stepped forward, with about ten other guys.

“Yeah,” Yongguk said. “Give us the file and we’ll leave.”

Someone threw a USB at Yongguk and we were about to turn around and head back to the car when suddenly we heard the sound of metal hitting flesh.

We turned around and watched as Jongup fell, a guy holding a metal pipe standing over him.

Chaos broke and suddenly fists were flying everywhere.

“Youngjae, grab Jongup and get to the car!” I heard Himchan yell when suddenly two pairs of arms had grabbed me and was dragging me away.

“Jae!” I heard Daehyun yell and I turned around desperately as I was pushed into a car.

I kept struggling when I noticed a familiar figure at the passenger seat.

“JB! What the hell is going on?” I gasped.

“Jae, I’ll explain at the station,” he said before we took off.

“Wait!” I yelled, trying to get out of the car, but the door was locked.

“Jae, calm down. Your job is done. The boss is handling it now.”

“What?” I shrieked. “But-“ I turned around and watched the sight of the gang fighting and Zelo carrying Jongup and running to the car growing smaller and smaller.

“Why are you hurting them? Tell the guys to stop!” I said to JB angrily.

“We’re not going to hurt them, we’re just scaring them a bit.”

“What the do you think you’re doing?!” I shouted angrily.

“Jae, this wasn’t my plan. The boss ordered this and there’s nothing I could do.”

I turned away in anger and after awhile, I saw the familiar station come to sight.

I marched out of the car and went to the boss’ office.

“Youngjae, welcome back.”

“Sir, what is going on? I had this under control.”

“No, you didn’t, Youngjae. This was taking way longer then necessary and I had to step in.”

“What are you planning to do, sir?”

“We hired some guys. B.A.P thinks you were kidnapped and we’re asking them for money. We’ll see what they do. We gave them 48 hours.”

“Sir,” I protested.

“Youngjae, we got this under control. Your job is done. You just need to lay low for awhile. Don’t do anything stupid to jeopardize us or your job and career,” my boss said. “You can leave now.”

I stared at him in disbelief before walking out.

“Jae! Where are you going?” JB asked, grabbing my arm.

“Let me go!” I yelled.

“Jae, please! Listen to me! I don’t know what the hell is going on with you but you need to stay here, okay? Listen to me! You don’t want to lose your position over a bunch of nobodies! And besides, if you go back, you’re going to be accused of being an accomplice.”

Defeated, I slowly made my way to my office, where I haven’t been in for almost two months. Where I belonged, right? I cried out in frustration, aiming a kick at a nearby chair.

Were they alright? What could I do? What should I do? I started pacing. No, I couldn’t let this happen.

I quickly walked out of my office when I saw the ‘gang’ come in through the doors.

“What the hell happened? Did you hurt them?” I demanded.

“They’re fine. They got away,” the bald guy with the sunglasses said calmly

I huffed and walked over to JB’s office.

“What’s the situation?” I asked wearily.

“We’re tracking them,” JB said. “They just went back to their place and thinking up a plan, I think.”

“Is Jongup alright?” I asked.

“Who?”

“Jongup. The one that you guys ing hit over the head.”

“I’m not sure, but he should be fine.”

I cursed and walked back out.

“Jae, we’re going to be keeping an eye on them! Stay with us!”

I sighed and went to get some coffee. Americano. Himchan’s favorite.

Frustrated, I shook my head. This was not my plan in the first place. I was supposed to pretend to get close to them, have them arrested, and get out and go back to my original, boring life. But along the way, I had gotten in way too deep. I had found out way too much about then. Found out what they liked, what kind of personalities they had. They didn't deserve to be thrown in jail, their youth wasting away.

What could I do? I couldn’t go to them… and I couldn’t not go to them either. They weren’t exactly ‘good’ people, but they weren’t bad either. This was wrong. Was Jongup okay? What about the rest? Daehyun?

I stayed at the station the next day and watched and listened as report after report came in of what B.A.P was doing. To rescue me.

I felt disgusted. Here they were, risking everything to try and save my life and I was pretty much backstabbing them.

“They intercepted a truck carrying cash last night. The people in the truck were all found unconscious,” JB suddenly broke into my thoughts.

“What?” I asked quietly. “How much did you guys ask for?”

“$10,000,000,” JB answered.

I looked away. There was no way they could afford that much besides stealing it. But did they really steal cash just to save me? Was I even worth that much to them? I felt like throwing up.

I couldn’t take it any longer and went back to my office. My mind drifted back to one of the best days of my life… just last week.

We had succeeded in one of our little ‘missions’ and to celebrate, we rented out a yacht to celebrate Daehyun’s birthday. I remembered how Daehyun’s face had lit up when he saw we brought out his favorite cake, cheesecake. After, while the other members were on the deck, re-enacting ‘Titanic’ and fooling around, me and Daehyun had sneaked inside and according to Daehyun, I had given him the ‘best birthday present of his life’. After, we had watched the sun set together, with the rest of the gang. Looking around at everyone, I realized then that every single one of them were all still young and deserved another path in their life. They were all just putting up a façade of being tough and strong, when really they were confused and lost in their sense of direction.

I sighed. I had made my decision. I knew what I needed to do. I had to tell the guys the truth and put a stop to this somehow.

The next day, I followed in a car, with JB and a dozen other officers.

“The SWAT team is getting involved?” I asked in disbelief.

“Precautions,” JB answered tensely.

We headed to an abandoned train station and waited for them.

I started pacing, knowing what I had to do. After a few minutes of silence, I heard footsteps.

I looked up and saw Yongguk holding a suitcase, with Himchan, Jongup, Zelo, and Daehyun following closely behind. Daehyun. I looked at him and saw how tired and anxious he looked. I wanted to run out and embrace him, but I held back.

I was standing in the middle of the ‘gang’ and was told to stay put.

Yongguk dropped the suitcase and one of our guys went to pick it up. The suitcase was opened up and my stomach dropped when I saw the hundred dollar bills.

“Now give him back,” Yongguk said in a low voice.

“Of course,” the bald headed guy said, smiling.

He grabbed my arm and pushed me forward.

“Yongguk,” I said quickly. “Listen…there’s not much ti-”

All of a sudden, there was a sound of a door bursting open and the SWAT team flooded in, pointing guns at B.A.P.

“Put your hands up! You’re under arrest,” JB announced.

I watched as the gang, my brothers, looked around, confused. Then I saw Yongguk look in my direction. His expression turned from surprise to understanding.

“Wait…” I said, desperately.

I watched in slow motion, as Yongguk slowly pulled out a gun.

“Wait, no! Stop!” I yelled, but it was too late.

The SWAT team fired and I watched as Yongguk fell to the ground, Zelo rushing to his side.

I was pulled back roughly and watched in horror as the rest of the gang pulled out guns.

“Guys, stop! Don’t do this!” I yelled out.

I watched as a shot was fired in Zelo’s direction and the youngest, who just turned 18, fell to the ground. I cried out, but JB pulled me back. 

Suddenly, Daehyun burst out of his hiding place, holding a gun in each hand.

I saw resignation in his eyes, the confusion, the hurt…

Without even hesitating, I broke out of JB’s grasp and ran towards him.

Halfway there, I felt something sting my back and I fell forward, something warm pooling underneath me.

And I watched as Daehyun, the only person I ever truly loved, was shot and fell beside me.

I couldn’t do anything as I watched Jongup and then Himchan falling to the ground.

I looked over at Daehyun.

His eyes were misty and glazed over.

“Dae, I’m so sorry…” I said in a choked whisper.

“I know…” he replied and we looked at each other until our eyes closed for the last time.