(a/n: To start off, and to avoid confusions, everything will be in L.Joe's POV unless stated otherwise^^)

I heard about you through my friend and I can't make a poker face, what do I do?
Where did the guy, who said he could live well without you, go?

I sit in between my group of friends in a fast food chain nearby, our usual hangout. It's almost the middle of summer, which basically means I'll get to spend every single day with these guys. Not that I'm complaining, though. Being out is quite better than being stuck in my room, staring at the ceiling, getting lost in deep, deep thoughts, doing nothing at all. At least I get to take my mind off things for a while. But still, even though I try to forget everything while I'm out, there's still this unfathomable emptiness inside of me. Like I'm searching for something, but I don't know exactly what it is. Like I'm waiting for something, but I'm not sure of what it is either.

"Hyung!" I heard Niel call out. I merely ignored him and continued staring out the window.

"Is L.Joe hyung okay?" Ricky asked no one in particular.

I turned my attention back to them as I heard my name being mentioned. "What?"

"What's with you today? You've been staring out that window for about half an hour now. Geez." Niel said, munching on a few pieces of fries. I was spacing out that long? This is getting worse and worse each day.

"Ah, my bad. I was thinking about what to get my mom for her birthday next month.." I lied. I really am bad at lying. No doubt. But Niel and the rest seemed to accept my excuse and continued chatting.

"Oh wait, hyung, can I have your burger? It's untouched... It's not going to eat itself, you know"

Typical Niel. I meekly nodded and passed my burger to him. Not hungry anymore, anyways.

A few minutes later I found myself staring into space again. We've been here for about 3 hours already and I don't even remember joining any of my friends' conversations. This is getting really out of hand. Damn it, Lee Byunghun. Pull yourself together. But then even if I do try listening to them I still end up lost in my own train of thoughts. Thankfully, my friends decided to finally leave the place and find some other hang out.

We ended up in Chanhee's place where we usually stay after school. The maknaes are now busy playing a video game, Niel is busy playing with Chunji's dog, Meonji, Minsoo hyung is already fast asleep on the couch, Chanhee was talking to someone on the phone which leaves me with nothing else to do. A few minutes later, Chanhee came back to the living room and threw me a bag of chips and a can of soda.

"Spacing out again?" He said, plopping down on the couch where Minsoo hyung was. I shrugged.

"Nah, just bored" He snorted. Yeah, he knows me too well. In my defense, I was getting a little bored... so I unconsciously spaced out again. Meanwhile, Niel went over to the couch to join us.

"Meonji got tired of your face?" I teased the obviously upset Niel.

"Sadly." he said as he sat on Minsoo hyung's leg. Apparently, he stayed asleep despite two people sitting on him. Unbelieveable.

"I'm bored and we're not even halfway through the vacation yet! Can't we attend a party or go to a club or something?" Niel groaned.

"Are you even allowed to go to a club? You're-"

"Oh!" Chanhee suddenly interrupted. "Daeun called me earlier!"

My ears perk at the name and I almost choke as I drank my soda. It's been a month since I last heard it. I looked at Chanhee, anticipating what he was going to say next.

"Daeun noona? You mean--" Niel awkwardly glanced at my direction.

Chanhee gulped then continued. "Yes. Her cousin is having a party next week. She organized it so she wanted us to come.."

"Finally, a party!" Niel said, throwing his fist in the air, pretending to be dancing at a club or something.

Weirdo. I sigh. The name 'Daeun' keeps on repeating in my mind now. It's been a while. Is this why I've been spacing out lately? I shifted in my seat to face Niel and Chanhee in my right. "Daeun called you?" I asked.

Stupid question, Byunghun. Of course, she would constantly call Chanhee. They're childhood bestfriends. I tried to look as cool as possible to avoid being too obvious. Chanhee lightly nodded.

"How is she?"

"She's....doing fine, I guess?"

"Oh...good. Does...does she still live there? Does she have a boyfriend? Did she mention me or anything?" Words just came out of my mouth and I feel really stupid. Why did I even bother asking those questions? Can I slap myself now? As expected, the two are giving me weird looks.

"Why are you curious?" Chanhee asked, slightly raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, hyung. Why are you suddenly interested? Hours ago you seem so lost you won't even talk to us" Niel added.

I want to ask myself the exact same questions. Why am I curious? Why am I suddenly interested when I heard her name? Why do I wanna know if she's doing okay? What's wrong with me?

Everything seems to make sense now. The reason why I'm always lost in my thoughts is her. When I lost her that day, I guess I lost myself, too. Why didn't I realize that sooner? The reason why I feel so empty, why I feel alone, is her. But why? I thought I'd be better off without her. I thought I'd be happy... and free. I guess I'm wrong. I was wrong when I said I could live well without her. In fact, things turned out worse than better. Now, I start to ponder if I really did make the right decision.