“I still have a heart for you…,” he mumbled to himself as he looked at his phone screen. There’s a picture of someone. A girl, a best friend he knew since high school—

 

—someone he had crushed to from long time ago.

 

***

 

 

Yesterday… they’ve met on high school reunion. It’s the first time since their parting on high school graduation years ago. Hoya felt so happy to meet her again. Everything was okay until she introduced him to someone he already knew: their classmate and also his desk mate in high school—it’s impossible if Hoya didn’t know about him. However this introducing was different, she told Hoya that they were going out together not a long time ago. Those two old friends he knew—they were dating and planned to engage soon. A girl he loved for years told him that she dated his friend. How could it be?

 

Acting to look sincere, Hoya congratulated them while felt broken heart. His smile and his feeling were not synchronizing. He didn’t want to show them how his true feeling was. They both are his best friends. That’s why, he didn’t want to ruin this good mood between them. He didn’t want to ruin their friendship.

Hoya left them both, gave an excuse that he wanted to greet another friend in that reunion. He got away while looked at them anxiously, sadly. Special girl he wanted now became forbidden. He felt so crass for thinking she’d understand all this time, that there’d be much time for them so they could be one someday. Would everything be different if he asked her to go out long time ago?

 

Even if I missed my chance, I’m okay, I’m okay, he convinced himself.

 

***

 

 

His phone rang. Sunggyu sent him a completed song he composed for Infinite’s new digital single. He asked Hoya to create choreography for the song so they could immediately practice for the dance.

 

“My selfish greed, the obsession surrounding me

Sadly sadly wants you as it calls out for this damned love

I am looking at you, always anxiously

You’ve become forbidden

I sadly sadly want you~ ♫”

 

Hoya froze, those lyrics resembled well what he felt at the moment. Did Sunggyu-hyung already knew my story?

 

“It’s okay, I’ll be loved, I believe~ ♫”

 

Does hyung try to encourage me through this song? Aigoo.

 

Hoya smile, he stood up and played that song on his phone. He moved here and there, tried to arrange a dynamic yet organized movement. He made some choreography, tried some varieties, repeated and memorized them so he could teach other members those movements he made easily. After a while, his phone rang again. There’s a message from Sunggyu, told that Infinite’s members are already on going to practice room and ask him where he was. Hoya replied that he’s on building’s rooftop and he’d go down immediately if they’ve arrived.

 

 “WE’RE HERE!” suddenly six different voices shouted behind him right after he replied Sunggyu’s message.

 

“Why did you all come up here?” he surprised. Didn’t predict them to be there.

 

“Practicing here isn’t bad idea I guess,” Sungjong answered. “Sometimes we need fresh air, don’t we?” Woohyun added. “How about choreography? Have you made it?” Dongwoo asked.

 

Hoya nodded certainly. Then Sungyeol drag him forward while cheered, “Teach us! Teach us!” While on another side, Myungsoo is busy with his camera, taking photo of them and Seoul scenery from rooftop. “Myungsoo-yah, let’s practice!” Sunggyu called him “Yes, Hyung!” he stopped and joined the members. Now Infinite is ready to practice ‘Request’ choreography Hoya’s made. Hoya taught them step to step of movements diligently. As usual Myungsoo didn’t miss his chance to record every moment they had in his camera. He took picture here and there without avoiding their dance practice.

 

Finally they have mastered all of the movements in short time thanked to Hoya. And they ended their practice by taking a photo group provided by Myungsoo.

 

“Don’t’ forget to practice more, we’ll perform this song on our next tour in Thailand,” Sunggyu reminded them all gained six heads nodded agree.

 

Just like that, awhile, Hoya’s anxiousness gone by dancing with his teammates.

 

***

 

 

“Yah, Ho-star! If you’re not busy, I request you to come to my birthday party tomorrow, 8-11 p.m. @ my apartment rooftop. Seeya! :)”

 

Hoya repeated to read that last message he received yesterday. These days he tried hard to forget her, to erase his feeling he had for her. But why did the girl he wanted to forget text him, as if told Hoya not to forget her nor stop for liking her?

 

Suddenly someone poke his shoulder and sat beside him. It’s Sunggyu, his hyung, his older brother, his team leader. He approached Hoya who was sitting alone in a bench on building’s rooftop at nearly midnight.

 

“Why did you look so depressed? Is there anything made you anxious?” he asked.

 

“Aniyo, hyung,” he replied, in uncertain note.

 

“Is it about her? Again?” Sunggyu asked carefully with lower voice. Hoya didn’t answer and just crouching while sighed, made Sunggyu quite sure that was a ‘yes’ answer. Sunggyu patted his shoulder once or twice more, tried to comfort him. Then he took some times to think and continued to say something more.

 

“I could tell easily that she’s a very special girl for you…,” he nodded causelessly. “That’s why I couldn’t be strictly told you to forget her or whatever. Just—you have to come back to yourself as usual, don’t be this sad Hoya we don’t know.”

 

“However, I want you to know that we, Infinite, will always be with you, happy or sad, no matter what happen, we’ll always hope and support you for the best.”

 

Hoya nodded without looking at him. “I knew that,” he mumbled.

 

Sunggyu smiled, he Hoya’s hair affectionately as if he was his real little brother. Then he went away, planned to give Hoya some more times to be alone.

 

“Hyung!” Hoya called Sunggyu before he went too far away. Sunggyu stopped his step and turned his head asking why Hoya called him. “May I ask for your help, Hyung?”

 

Sunggyu smiled widely and nodded for Hoya’s request. “Sure!”

 

***

 

 

“Sorry for not coming to your birthday party. Are you still awake? At least, I want to give you a birthday present. Come to a hall near your house, I’ll be there with a surprise you’d like. :)”

 

Hoya’s friend received that message right after her birthday party ended and parting with her guests. She thought that Hoya must be busy for not coming to her party and felt a bit disappointed. But after read Hoya’s message, she smiled unknowingly. Who won’t be happy when your best friend since high school told you that he will give you a present for your birthday? At least she knew Hoya didn’t ever forget her as his friend too.

 

Immediately, she came to the hall near her house, wondering what Hoya will give as her birthday present. And right after she entered hall entrance, music suddenly played with piano sound lead as intro, followed by a voice she recognized so well. In front of her, in the middle of the hall, seven men in suit danced passionately, surprised her awesomely.

 

 “… My selfish greed~

I hate myself like this

The clinging obsession for you~

I really hate it

I call out for this damned love

Like crazy

I sadly sadly want you~ ♫”

 

“HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!” they ended their performance with those words sweetly, touching her hearts, made her almost crying. She clapped her hands loudly, cheering their performance.

 

“COOL! Is this a present for me?” she approached Hoya and asked him. Hoya nodded proudly and smiled widely. “Do you like it?”

 

“Why would I don’t like it? A great Korean boygroup like you danced and sang especially for me….” She then bowed and greeted her friend’s friends for the first time. “Is this Infinite’s new song? I think I’ve never heard it before.” she asked again, made Hoya nodded again. “Wow, I really feel like being too special here. Thank you so much, Hoya.”

 

“It’s okay. At least, this is what I could give to you as your friend.”

 

“Again, happy birthday, chingu-yah! I hope you and him will do well with your engagement,” Hoya shook her hand warmly.

 

“Thanks, chingu…,” she replied sincerely.

 

“May I ask you a request?”

 

“Sure. What is it?”

 

“Let’s be friends forever, without forgetting each other….”

 

“Off course. I’d like to be your friend forever even without you asking it,”

 

“Yes, let our friendship last forever, forever…,” Hoya replied again while holding his tears up with a bright smile.  Unknowingly, his heart felt so much comfort after released those words. He now accepted that his friend already taken by him. He can’t turn back the time nor hope for her having same feeling as him anymore. He has to accept this condition with a sincere heart, without forgetting his feeling to her all this time.

 

Hoya still loved her, always, as a friend, as a best friend he ever had.

 

 

***

 

THE END