When we were home, and the amount of questions I'd asked had finally died down (why do you have a human form? Did you hatch out of an egg, or were you regular born? If your scales are silver, why isn't your hair silver? What? If your hair is naturally silver, why would you ever dye it black? Don't even argue with me, Hankyung. We're changing your hair back first thing in the morning, because dying cool hair normal is a crime, Hankyung) I pulled out my laptop, ready to research what Kibum and I had talked about earlier.

                I pulled up Google, and typed into the search bar How to tell you like a guy. I clicked on the first link, after the stupid ads, and went through the list.

                1. Notice how much you are around him.

Well, technically, I was around him a lot. We were roommates, after all. And we had every single class together. Actually, for the past couple days, I hardly had spent any time away from Hankyung. But that didn't mean I had a crush on him. It just meant the foreign exchange program at our school was stupid.

                2.  Do you get butterflies when you are around him?

Well, that one didn't make any sense, so I made a mental note that my answer was 'no,' ad moved on.

                3.  Consider how much you think about him. Does it make you happy?

                Well, this one was hard, because I was around him too much to really think of anything but him. I tried to think of the few times I was away from him. At the hospital. Well, yes. I did think of him. But only because that Minho kid was exactly the same. And when I was getting interrogated by the police. But that was only because I was trying to make it clear that I was cooler than him to them, and they weren't really listening. And with Kibum. But Kibum was the one that brought Hankyung up, so again, it was not my fault. I put a mental 'no' for this one, too, because it wasn't my fault if I thought about him a lot.

                4. How do you feel when you touch him?

                No, I wasn't even going to think about this one. Because if I did happen to feel anything when I touched Hankyung, it was only because Hankyung had excellent…touching…skills. Argh. No. I was not going to think about it.

                5. Think about what happens when you see him. Do you feel yourself blushing or quickly turning away to hide that you are smiling and trying not to giggle? If you do, this can be a sign that you like him.

                What happens…Well, okay, I blushed a bunch. But that was because he did embarrassing things. But mostly….nothing? Nothing happened? I did smile a lot, too, but I wasn't hiding giggles or anything. If Hankyung was funny, I just laughed at him. I slid my eyes over to Hankyung, who was working on homework, biting on his pencil eraser in concentration.

                "Yah, Hankyung."

                "Hm?" He turned to me, and I stared at him for a long moment, trying to figure out if I was blushing. Nope. No blushing here.

                "Nevermind." I turned back to my computer.

                No, again. Hah. Take that, Kibum, I was so not in love with Hankyung. Owned. Loser.

                Then I hit the back button, and saw something that caught my eye. Underneath the link to another webpage were the words, Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...nevermind.." would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking.

                Wait, what? But I just did that! I looked over at Hankyung, who had already turned back to his work. What was he thinking, then? Because I'm an idiot, I didn't read his mind. Instead, I opened the page, reading the different items on the list.

                61 Things Girls Don't Know About Guys.

                As I scanned through them, I realized that I might have a serious problem.

                Guys go crazy over a girl's smile. I did go crazy over Hankyung's smile. In fact, I'd spent almost the entire morning going crazy about his smile.

Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest. And I hated it when Hankyung talked about Alvin.

A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to. Don't talk about your guy friends to your boyfriend. Guys get jealous easily. Argh, this was all true. I didn't like it when Hankyung got attention from other people, and I hated it when he talked about Alvin, or even any of his nerd friends.

Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. We rarely use beautiful. If a guy uses that, he likes you a whole hell of a lot. I'd literally been thinking of Hankyung as beautiful and majestic a couple of hours ago!

Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.  Well. Huh.  I wondered if this was true. If so…who did Hankyung think about before he went to sleep?

If it was Alvin…I felt my thoughts begin to darken, so I set aside my computer, grabbing a bag of blood from the fridge.

"Hey, Hankyung. Have you ever dated anyone before?" I asked.

"No." Who would date a member of Alvin's nerd squad?

"Fair enough."

"Y…you date anyone?" He asked, looking nervously at me.

"No. I mean, I always liked Sohee, and it didn't really make sense to date anyone I didn't like. So, I'm pretty much forever alone." I shrugged, not ashamed of it. Because we all knew how many times I'd been asked out. It wasn't like I couldn't date if I wanted to.

"Ah." He said, and it was silent for a little.

"Hey, Hankyung."

                "Yes?"

                "What's your ideal girl? Like, if this girl popped up in front of you, you wouldn't even think, you would just marry her?"

                "Umm…" He thought for a minute. "Traditional? How you say? Very…neat. Pretty. Quiet. Um. Nice. Kind words. Long black hair."

                "What?! You're just describing yourself!" I answered, upset that I hadn't  fit into a single one of his qualifications.

                "No!" He protested. "Not I!"

                "Whatever. That's boring, anyways." I huffed, looking away and crossing my arms over my chest.

                "What you?"

                "Me?" I thought about it. "Well, she has to like to cook, because that's really cute. Especially soup, so I can eat it. Um…I like girls with nice legs. Oh, but not girls that show their belly. That's just trashy. She'd have to be able to play video games and watch horror movies with me. And probably someone who's quieter than me, so that I don't have to feel like I'm competing for talking time or something." I glared at Hankyung, who'd been checking things off some imaginary list every time I said anything. It was really annoying to hear that little Check. After literally everything I said.

                "Ah. Very nice. Sound nice." Hankyung answered.

                I did not like Hankyung. There was no way. I looked up at the darkened ceiling, making out the contours of the light fixture. I didn't like Hankyung. He was…

                What? I spent so much time hating him, but did I even have anything bad to say about him? I thought about him. Things I didn't like about Hankyung.

                He was too perfect. All the girls fawned all over him. He was in shape. He was friends with that stupid Alvin. He…his Korean was awful. He was annoying when he got all possessive and dragony.

                No. Don't lie to yourself, Heechul. You have to admit you think he's hot like that. I remembered the way he grabbed me to him, growling out that I was his, and felt my heart begin to pound in my chest.

                Mine. He'd said it like a prayer. I analyzed it carefully. The way he'd said it…it hadn't been certain, like he wanted to tell Siwon that. It was more like…if he said it enough, it would be true. He said it like it was the thing he wished for the most in the world. That I was his.

                My heart began to beat furiously, and my face heated up. I smashed my head into my pillow, trying to rid myself of these thoughts.

                No. I didn't like Hankyung. But I was thinking about him right now, wasn't I? Didn't guys seems think about the person they loved right before they went to sleep?

                In that case…who was Hankyung thinking about? Was it me? When he'd been possessive over me, he hadn't been in his right mind, though. Maybe it was just…Dragon possessiveness. Like in Beowulf, when the thief stole a single goblet from the Dragon's lair. The dragon had gone crazy, destroying the entire land, trying to find the thief.

                Maybe I was like one of Hankyung's goblets or something. Because we were roommates. He'd probably do the same thing about his other friends.

                But he hadn't gotten possessive over Alvin. No, he'd beat up Alvin for me. I grinned at that. I was more important, then.

                Or…or maybe not. I remembered he'd said his family was like the rulers of the monsters, or something. Maybe he thought of me as his possession because I was a monster. Dang it. That was probably it. I was just his…his subject or something. Like some toy he could fight over or throw away. I got angry at myself for thinking I was anything but that.

                Who was Hankyung thinking about right now? I wondered, and gave into the temptation to read his mind.

                I am the most socially awkward person alive. Stupid Hankyung. Stupid. Who even drinks somebody else's milk without asking first? The first ten minutes you ste in the house, too. Who does that? Oh, yeah, hello. Let me raid your fridge. You shouldn't have drunken it. You should've just asked, at least. Stupid. No. Stop beating yourself up over this. It happened a while ago. Just let it go.

                I frowned. What was he even talking about? When did this happen? I went back into his thoughts.

                And now Alvin thinks I'm getting controlled by Heechul. Pfft. As if Heechul could control anyone. And even if he could…he'd probably just make them do stupid, embarrassing stuff. Like wearing pink.

Alvin probably hates me. They all probably hate me. How are they ever going to forgive me for running away like that? If they knew it was my own choice. That I hadn't been brainwashed. They'd hate me. If they knew I was a dragon, they'd hate me. I don't know if I could take that, feeling their hatred.

Especially Alvin. We've been friends since the third grade. If he hated me…If he never forgave me for this…no, that's too sad. We've been friends so long, of course he would forgive me. He'd have to…he ostracized me for wearing nice clothes. For being a monster? For abandoning him to live in another country? He'd never speak to me again.

"Shut up!" I cried, then froze, realizing my mistake. Oh no. What did I just do, thinking fast, I continued. "Stupid beetle…nghffgh Arm!"

Is he…talking in his sleep? Oh man, that's hilarious. I have to tell him about this in the morning. I wonder why I haven't heard him do it before? Stupid beetle? What on earth could he be dreaming about?

I could feel Hankyung's smug smile from here. I grumbled again, turning away from him angrily. Stupid Hankyung. What's he doing, thinking about stupid Alvin before he sleeps? Alvin doesn't even matter. I'm the one that should matter.

I sighed. No. I didn't like Hankyung. If I liked Hankyung, then that would mean I could imagine myself kissing him and not be grossed out—Wait. I did kiss him (kind of) How did it feel?

I analyzed it in my head, thinking about the way his lips brushed mine. They'd been dry, but still…that tingling shock I'd felt...I pressed my fingers to my lips, feeling them tingle again. I imagined the way his mouth would feel on mine, the soft touch of lips on lips…

No. I couldn't think about that. I didn't like Hankyung. If I liked him, then…then…

Crap.

Crap crap crap crap crap crap crap.

I liked Hankyung. Kibum was right. I had an epic, insanely huge crush on the guy, that I couldn't even control.

Of course I liked him. If I didn't like him, how could I imagine us kissing, and feel so excited, and nervous, and…I don't know. Thinking about kissing him made my insides kind of explode into nervous jitters, as if the very idea made it so I couldn't sit still.

If I didn't like Hankyung, why would I even care if he liked Alvin, or thought about him? Alvin and he were friends. It made sense that he'd be thinking about him.

If I didn't like him, that why would I think he was so attractive? Why would I feel my stomach flip flop whenever he smiled? Why would I have ever cared that I saw him ? Why would I admire the way he looked in those sunglasses, or think that leather fitted jacket made him look like he just stepped out of some sort of cool action movie?

If I didn't like him, then why would I love hugging him so much? Why would I feel so comforted and tingly at just a touch from him? You can't be an expert hugger. That was stupid. All you had to do to hug was wrap your arms around someone. There was no technique to it, just…just…

I was so in love with Hankyung.

But did he feel the same way? Was this just a stupid unrequited love, that wasn't going anywhere, or did he actually like me back? He didn't seem to dislike me. After all, he put up with me. He sat with me at lunch…

I opened my mind to his thoughts.

He's really annoying. No matter what I do for him, he never thanks me for it. Like the first day of school. I kept having to wake him up, to tell him to switch classes, but did I get one thank you? No. And I drove him home that day too, but he only talked to Siwon. And got Siwon's number, and…

I hate Siwon.

He interrupted our date to answer a call from Kyuhyun, too. And he always strips in front of me. Does he not understand how uncomfortable  that is for me? hugs are something you do with your partner, not with…What even am I to him? He's always so rude to me. Am I even his friend?

Argh, I really hate him.

I sat up, irritated, and not in the mood to hear this from him, or be around him, knowing he was thinking about me like this. I wrapped my blanket around me, getting up.

"Where are you going?" He asked, sitting up.

"Bathroom." I mumbled, trying to sound like I just woke up. Instead of going to the bathroom, though, I walked downstairs to the living room, crashing on the couch, knowing two things for sure.

First, I liked Hankyung.

Second, he didn't like me back.

And no matter how hard I tried to make the words so logical in my head, I couldn't help but feel my heart clench, and my teeth grit at the thought. Somehow, somehow…Even though I'd only known Hankyung a few days. Even though I knew it didn't make sense for him to like me back. Even though I tried to tell myself that I didn't care…

It still hurt.