GOODBYE SUMMER

 

 

[POV: SUNYOUNG]

 

It is my best friend's wedding day.

 

The wedding is held in a hotel's rooftop. Many guests are present: family members of hers and her groom, our friends from high school and college, and colleagues from the company where we work.

 

The venue is huge but under the orangey sky of this summer dusk, the place is crowded with rejoicing atmosphere of the occasion.

 

As I am the maid of honor, I am needed at the photo shoot before the wedding. In fact, I should be sticking close to my best friend. But I cannot find them at the moment.

 

I edged around people, trying to find my way to the elevator but instead, I found the groom sitting inside the secluded fire exit stairs. I opened the wrong door.

 

"Hey," I greeted Kyungsoo as he looked up to me in surprise.

 

He smiles his heart-shaped smile and then bows down to stare at his clasped hands on his lap.

 

"I was looking for the elevator, but I ended up in the fire exit instead," I said. "What are you doing here by the way?"

 

He forces out a chuckle. "Nothing, I..."

 

"You're nervous," I stated.

 

"Well... Yeah. Have a seat?" He gestures to the space beside him.

 

"Sure."

 

I sit beside him and we fall silent for a while.

 

"Everything will be fine," I said, to reassure him.

 

"You think so?" he asks and in his eyes, I see his anxiety.

 

"I witnessed your love story for three years and it can never be more perfect than anyone else's."

 

 

 

---

 

[POV: KYUNGSOO]

 

Sunyoung is right about that. She had witnessed everything.

 

It was funny, actually. Honestly, I used to like Sunyoung before I liked Soojung. Things just started changing somehow and so I happily chose Soojung and ended up with her.

 

 

 

During college, I joined the photography club and met Soojung there. I thought she was alone; we had been talking for half an hour already until Sunyoung appeared and apologized repeatedly for being late.

 

How cute.

 

We've been friends since that day but deep inside me, I looked at Sunyoung in a different light than Soojung. Soojung is really nice and very pretty but Sunyoung had an inexplicable charm that made me fall for her.

 

Among us, Sunyoung was the most talkative and so during our free times, she was the one always sharing stories albeit how nonsense each of them were. I listened to her eagerly because I loved the sound of her voice. Soojung would always make fun of her but Sunyoung was never angry. Instead, she was very patient, and showed that she really cared about Soojung like an elder sister. She always made way for Soojung even if it meant sacrificing things from her end.

 

I liked her that much so I noticed everything about her. All the things she does, all the stories she shared, all the reason behind her smiles or tears -- I know all of them like the back of my hand. But that caused me to overlook at Soojung's presence.

 

Soojung came to me one day while working some designs for the photo exhibit the next day and surprisingly, Sunyoung who is very inseparable from her was not there.

 

"Hi Kyungsoo."

 

"Oh, hi. Why are you alone? Where is Sunyoung?" I asked immediately.

 

"Well, she's had some things to finish in the library," Soojung explained.

 

"Oh..." I said.

 

Soojung and I went to cut out the Styrofoam letterings of the word EXHIBIT in silence. Very awkward, like we weren't friends at all.

 

"Did Sunyoung say she'll have lunch with us?"

 

"Do you like Sunyoungie unnie?"

 

The two of us spoke at the same time.

 

"What?"

 

"Oh, nothing... I just... You always ask about her and laugh at her jokes and..." she mumbled.

 

"No!" I denied immediately, not wanting to let Soojung know what I feel about her unnie. That time, I regretted saying those words but not anymore. I awkwardly continued cutting a letter X and accidentally cut it in half because of my shaking hands.

 

"I like you."

 

I looked up at her in surprise, letting go of the cutter and it fell on the back  of my hand, creating a long, shallow wound.

 

"Oh, I'm sorry, Kyung!" she gasped, holding my wounded hand in between hers and pulling out her handkerchief  to stop the tiny droplets  of blood from coming out. "I should not have said that, I'm sorry!"

 

"It's okay, I..." I said faintly, staring at her.

 

"Forget about it, okay?" She was blushing like mad, perhaps it was guilt mixed with embarrassment and she looked really flustered as she avoided my gaze.

 

"Please don't look at me like that," she said, her eyes watery.  "I'm about to-- ah, here you go! You just made me cry!"

 

Indeed, she started crying and other members of the club began looking at us suspiciously. "Ya, why did you make Soojungie cry?" "What's wrong?" "Kyungsoo-yah, how can make a pretty girl upset?"

 

It was pretty ironic. I was the one who got wounded and yet she was the one crying.

 

"Don't cry--"

 

But she stood up and stormed from the room, hiding her face.

 

That night, Sunyoung called to me.

 

"What happened?" were her first words and she sounded unwell.

 

"Don't misunderstand, Sunyoung, I didn't intend to make her feel bad about it," I said immediately. "I haven't even got time to reply--"

 

"I know. Soojung doesn't know that I am calling you but I just want you to know how she ... How she likes you so much since the first time we all met," said Sunyoung, exhaling deeply on the other end of the line. "And she's more important to me than anyone else."

 

"Sunyoung, actually, I--"

 

"You might not just know it but maybe you like her too," she said. "I'm not forcing you to like her back or anything but... Just consider it? At least don't be insensitive around her."

 

'Actually, I love you' were the words I was never able to tell Sunyoung. "Okay..." was all that I could say.

 

She sniffed.

 

"Are you alright?" I asked her.

 

"Yeah, just a little cold. Good night."

 

I was upset at her for saying that. The girl I liked was pushing me towards another girl. But then I should thank her after all. She just made me realize that Soojung is the one for me.

 

Maybe I did overlook Soojung's presence. She was as precious as her name and she had charms hidden behind her ice princess image. I thought she was always confident and outspoken, but she could be shy too and depended on Sunyoung when things didn't turn out the way she wanted to. I started thinking I should be on Sunyoung's place as someone Soojung can rely on and trust. I want to take care of her.

 

 

 

After a photography activity, I walked Soojung home while Sunyoung got home ahead of us. I think she intended to leave early to make way for us.

 

While walking, I interlaced my fingers around hers. She stiffened and glanced at me but I just smiled and walked on. As we reached her house, I held her back at the gate and tucked a lock of hair behind her ears. "Soojung..."

 

She blinked at me.

 

"Can you be my girlfriend?" I asked her and scratched at the back of my head. "Sorry if it's too awkward, I'm not very good with these stuff and I just..." I rambled. "... I love you."

 

Her eyes welled up and suddenly her arms came around my neck to hug me really tight. It was the most blissful thing at that time. "I told you already, I like you. Of course, I'd gladly be your girlfriend."

 

As soon as I reached my bedroom that night, I received a text message from Sunyoung:

 

From: Sunyoung

To: Me

 

You're welcome! And congratulations!   Soojungie had just told me ^^

--

From: Me

To: Sunyoung

 

Thanks very much! I know you made way for us tonight~

--

From: Sunyoung

To: Me

 

Ehh~ I already told you, you're welcome! Kk. I was right, you might just like her and in fact, you love her! I'm so happy for you :)

--

From: Me

To: Sunyoung

 

Really thanks to you! ^^

 

I wanted to tell her about my old feelings for her but before I could press the Send button, my battery died. I guess we were really never meant to be. And after all, why do I have to bring it up again when there is Soojung now? Sunyoung is my past while Soojung is my present and future.

 

My relationship with Soojung was like every normal ones. We were sweet at most times but we had arguments too.  And along the way, Sunyoung was there to give every support she could offer. She would bridge gaps between us after our misunderstandings to make everything alright again.  She would give both of us bits of advice and I was never able to comprehend how she knew many things when she wasn't dating anyone.

 

 

 

"Sunyoung, help me."

 

She looked up from her novel with inquiring eyes. "You know I'm always ready to help. What is it this time?"

 

I glanced at Soojung’s direction who was watering the flowers out in the garden. "I want  to  propose to Soojung."

 

I told Sunyoung all of my plans and she executed each of them well without Soojung realizing anything. She was the perfect accomplice to things like this and soon, all our preparations were complete. The only thing left was the actual proposal.

 

 

 

"What's all this?!" Soojung asked impatiently, stretching her arms in front of her in the dark as I guided her to the designated spot.

 

"You'll see."

 

Once there, the whole garden lit up with chains of small lights. We stood under a made-up tent draped with blankets and more lights. The posts were covered with our Polaroid selcas together.  In the center was a table laden with all of our favorite food and a remote control.

 

"What's this fuss all about?" Soojung asked again. "We have already celebrated our second year anniversary last Friday, right? And it's not my birthday either."

 

Without answering her this time, I took the remote control from the table and the projector positioned on the wall. I smiled at her and gently put my hands on her shoulder.

 

The projector showed her a video message Sunyoung and I filmed while Soojung was doing her thesis. "What's this?!" she blurted out again.

 

"Hi Soojung! You could be wondering what this is all about," I said from the video ("I sure do," Soojung snorted). "I know you don't want fuss like this but I still did it with the help of your Sunyoungie unnie because I want it to be special."

 

Soojung hit me on the arms, chuckling at my awkwardness.

 

"It has been two years since we've been together and I think I caused you frustrations before when you shyly admitted that you like me. I haven't realized it back then yet and I'm sorry I had been really slow on the uptake but now that I know you're the most precious girl to me, I can never stop falling in love with you over and over again, every single day.

 

"Will you turn around slowly and face me?" went on my recorded self. "I have something to tell you."

 

Soojung hadn't notice it when my hand left her shoulders; she was so absorbed with the video message. When she did turn around to face me, I knelt and stretched out the hand holding a red box, in which a diamond ring sat twinkling under all the lights around us.

 

"Will you marry me?"

 

The tears she was holding back finally fell and she wept in front of me, kneeling in front of me and covering her face as she leaked endlessly.

 

"Yes, yes, I don't know why you had to ask in the first place!" she cried.

 

I hugged her. Right on cue, the prepared fireworks sent sparks into the air in celebration with the affirmation of Soojung to marry me. She didn't see those, though, because her eyes were still blinded by tears. Embarrassing it might be for a guy like me but I started tearing up too.

 

Sunyoung, who was the one who lit up the fireworks after hiding behind the bushes, came bounding at us, holding a small banner with CONGRATULATIONS KYUNGJUNG! on it.

 

"Yay! My KyungJung couple is already engaged! Congratulations!" She hugged both of us.

 

"Thank you so much, Sunyoung," I said as she let go and wiped her own tears.

 

"Don't mention it Kyung! Did you see the fireworks at all? It was my idea, Soojung-ah!"

 

Soojung cried harder and embraced Sunyoung tightly. "Unnie! He proposed! You didn't tell me about this! You planned it with him but you didn't tell me at all!"

 

"It's supposed to be a surprise, isn't it?" Sunyoung chuckled. "Come on and eat!"

 

 

 

That night feels like yesterday and now, I am getting married with Soojung.

 

 

 

---

 

[POV: SUNYOUNG]

 

"It was all thanks to you, Sunyoung-ah. Thank you very much," Kyungsoo said and I smiled a sad smile at him. My tears are threatening to fall.

 

"What's the problem?" he asked.

 

"Nothing, it's just... You know how Soojung is the most important for me so make sure to take good care of her," I said. "I think I love her more than myself that I had to give you up for her because she really loves you so--"

 

"Hey, what do you mean?"

 

My eyes widened after realizing what I had just said.

 

"I'm sorry! Nothing! I mean, I'm leaving now, I think Soojung needs me--" I panicked. I tried standing up and leaving him but his hand circled on my wrist.

 

"Don't ever hurt Soojungie, okay?” I just said to him. “Always make her smile. Have a happy married life with her."

 

I pulled my hand away from him and left the fire exit, still fighting hard to hold the tears in. I found the elevator finally and luckily I was alone to cry in there before the wedding starts.

 

 

I was crying that night when I called you and told you to consider Soojung's feelings.

 

I did find ways so that you and Soojung can walk home together that night and talk on your own but I felt like my world shattered when Soojung told me you asked finally her to be your girlfriend.

 

All that advise I gave you were the things I would have done if you were mine.

 

I cried as I hid behind the bushes during your proposal and cried again in front of you. I was happy that night, yes, but I along with it came sadness because you can never be mine anymore.

 

 And now, I'm hiding here to cry some more because,

 

Actually, I love you, Kyungsoo. I just never had the chance to tell you.

 

 

 

---

 

Author's note: