... --- -. -.. . .-.

I woke up today feeling extremely wonderful; the dazzling sun would be the first thing to appear as soon as I open my eyes, coating me with its warmth.

Someone knocked on the door, it was probably my nurse. She would always be at my room early morning to get me for some walk around the hospital. She never brought me outside, which I guess would be better; we just take a stroll around the area for minutes. She would always tell that this would help prevent bed sore and sort of a simple exercise. This has been a daily routine, the only thing I enjoyed doing besides reading. At least I get to do something as soon as I wake up. And the rest of the day, will be a long stay on my room.

“You might want to rest a little, sit here and I would get you something to drink”, she said as she assisted me on sitting. I wasn’t tired at all; we just walked 38 steps away from my room.

“Sure, thanks”, I responded.

She went away. Just then she faded into my sight. “I should’ve told her to bring coffee instead.” I whispered to myself and sighed.

As I wait for my nurse to come back, I quietly studied the people passing by, and wondered what could be inside of their minds. If they have a past they treasure or running away from, and a lover they either broke up or ended up with, I wonder what their lives may be like, how do they successfully survive each passing day and what could be the hidden truths about their expressions. I’m so puzzled at how we can see people physically but never really knowing what they are thinking or what’s going on with their lives. This was such a magnificent mystery of life, don’t you agree? Enough daydreams and get a grasp with reality.

Few minutes passed and the nurse is still not back. I jerked my head from left to right but she’s still out of sight. I closed my eyes and counted, “one, two … three!” I opened my eyes expecting to see her but instead of seeing someone wearing white, what I saw is a guy; he’s tall with a tan skin. I met his eyes, and they looked somewhat dazzling. But the strange thing is that he handed me a coffee and said “You’re welcome.” He smiled and went away. He didn’t even take money from me in exchange. I was about to open my mouth and say thank you but he faded away quickly. I have never seen him in my entire life. I was really taken aback. Sometimes there can be strangers who care even if they don’t have to.

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-- ..- .-. .-. -- .-

Three days after, I went out of my room to wander around. And that exact seat where I sat three days ago was a familiar guy sitting with his head lowered facing the floor. I took 3 steps closer, and realized he was that guy, the one-of-a-kind kindhearted stranger who brought me coffee. I was about to approach him but he looked like he was up to something. And for a second thought, I think he’s crying. And I was unconsciously smiling with the view of him crying. Don’t take me wrong or anything but seeing a guy cry is a one in a million scene for me. Not in a mean way or anything, but I rarely see guys cry, except those on TV’s and movies. When a guy cries because of something, I can feel the sincerity.

My feet automatically walked closer and found myself sitting beside him. I stared at him and he gave a glare. I initiated the conversation.

“What’s wrong? I asked him, hoping he would answer.

“My mom’s almost dying. Her illness is eating her up.” He responded and continued saying “You know what Leukemia is?” He asked.

“Yes, I know Leukemia more than anyone else; we’ve been best friends for over 9 years now.” I tried to joke and he gave a half smile.

He stared at me and said, “I apologize, I’m sorry for that.”

“No, don’t worry about it. But you know what, I think you have to be stronger than your mom, she has suffered enough just to end up seeing you this way. She could never have the courage to fight it out if you won’t be fighting with her.” I never thought those would voluntarily come out of my mouth, it’s funny how you can never follow your own advice. He smiled, and it was a sweet smile. I could never deny that.

There was only silence between us for a long time, but it didn’t feel awkward. You know that feeling of being so close to someone that the silence isn’t uncomfortable? I felt that.

“Want to listen to a song?” He nodded and gave a slight smile. I handed him the other half of my earphones and he accepted it. He listened to the song with his eyes closed.

  -----------

-- ..- .-. .-. -- .-

After that day, we would see each other more. He would visit me after his classes; he would always go there even if his mom was discharged few days ago.

After each day passes, he would promise to come see me no matter what.

‘Good idea,’ I thought, I would have told him to come back too.

Kai would sing me to sleep, read a chapter of a book out loud until I fall asleep. We eat lunch together, joke together.

He would teach me things. He taught me Chemistry II, on how positive and negative attract.

And it made sense, no matter how I hated Chemistry, like memorizing the Table of Elements and stuff. It made me think about what my mom said the last time we ate dinner together, as a family. She told me I should marry someone who eats beans. Because knowing that I hate beans, that person or someone will eat it for me.

His name was Kai, a tall guy with a tan skin, deep and y talking voice, incomparable laughter and a contagious smirk. He’s the second person besides my mom who knows me better than I do. He looked like a witty and serious guy at first glance, but that was just a first impression. He’s a talker, not the annoying or noisy talker type, because he talks about things that make sense, and beautiful things. He said, “Slowly, we will forget the manipulations, arguments, disappointments, the frustration, sick feelings and sadness life has. We are meant to forget them. And then one day, you’ll only recall the happy times.”

Kai’s positivity is contagious, because for a short amount of time, I tend to forget how cruel life can be. Back then, I literally spend every day waiting for it to end.

Kai was the only person who would always be there no matter what time it is, he’s the only person I could talk to. Those moments when everything was funny even when it isn’t, all those midnight conversations, the childish laughter’s, spending hours talking about everything and nothing.

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..-. --- .-. . .-.. ... -.- . -

Its weekend, everyone would probably be up late since its rest day. But not for me, it’s strange how I’m always tired no matter how much sleep I get. I was planning to lie on bed all day.

Just then, someone opened the door. It was Kai; he looked somewhat on a hurry. He’s on his pajamas yet, sweating early in the morning as if he went on a jog. He was breathing heavily as he stood in front of me. I was tired to get up, knowing I was half asleep and half awake.

He made a deep breath and started getting on his business.

“You look like you’re such in a hurry. What are you up to?” I asked, as I get up on bed.

“It’s a surprise.” He responded.

He took my orange cardigan on the wooden chair beside my bed; he grabbed my left hand and dragged me. We looked like walking but we were literally speed-walking, or running at some point. That made me tired. I’ve grown up with such a poor stamina.

“Hey, where are we supposed to go? I wasn’t allowed to step out of this place, you know that.”  There was no response so I started talking again.

“Can we stop for a second? I feel tired already.” I was running out of breath.

And then he unexpectedly offered me for a piggyback. I flinched and refused, but then again he seriously carried me.  Kai carried me outside as fast as he could and we successfully went out without being caught.

I felt happy at some point; the air outside the hospital was so much different from the inside. I felt freedom at the moment, and this feeling is to die for.

In front of us was a bike, I looked and him and he smirked. Kai was proud of himself, he was happy doing things to make others cheerful. And he successfully pulled it off me. He rode first and invited me with him. It was the first time I ever got to ride a bike.

On our way somewhere, Kai would hum a song, something familiar. I closed my eyes, felt the moment. I was taken aback with the eye-catching simplicity of nature, and forgot to ask where were going. I opened my eyes, and we are already the place.

We went not too far away from the hospital, but it felt like a totally different world, like a countryside lying in the center of the city.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” He asked me, and I responded with a big nod.

I felt like flying, the cold wind tugging at my rippling clothes, hair whipping against my face and blowing in the wind. Clouds drifting peacefully against the vast blue sky, the silhouette of birds, the wide expanse of grass that seems to have no end and the trees dancing with the blow of the wind. The view made me feel good, there’s such a sense of opportunity and space of all things being possible.

Kai tapped my back thrice and said, “You should thank me, this place and this moment is one of a kind. So, seize the day!”

“Carpe Diem” I responded. I know that, I owe him a lot more than anyone else.

Kai took out his camera and started taking pictures. He’s a great artist and photographer. He always told me that ‘memories fade and eventually people change whereas photographs remain the same’ and Kai was right about that.

Kai looked the most handsome when he’s taking pictures. Maybe because he looked happy doing it.

“We should take some pictures too.” Kai requested, went closer to me and took pictures of us two. He would then take out his pen and write something on the pictures. Which looked so un-understandable, it were all dots and dashes. He never told me what that meant, he only told how much he was into ciphers and morse codes a lot. Kai told me he took years to study them.

That ethereal moment ended. I had no regrets at all. Sneaking at the hospital and lying to my mom for once in my life was all worth it. And just like that, I had yet again another memorable moment that I stashed away to be treasured forever.

The first one was meeting Kai.

Kai – which is flabbergasting because never in my life did any guy .

-----------

--. . --.. . .-.. .-.. .. --. .... . .. -..

Both of us, me and Kai, got scolded right after we entered the hospital. My mom was so mad; I’ve never seen her that way. She said what we did was wrong because 1) Something bad could’ve happened 2) If something bad really happened, they won’t be there to help us 3) She thought, actually ‘they’ thought we ran away (which I think was such an awful way of thinking) 4) We were gone for too long and 5) It was already dark when we got back.

In which I realized that 1) My mom never trusted me 2) They’re all childish for thinking we ran away 3) and that she loved me.

Actually, it doesn’t matter to me what might happen, because on the contrary, even just for hours, I got a taste of freedom, of life. If only I have the courage to ask my mom to take me to school, for once in my life, I would have certainly done that. But I don’t ever want to encounter rejection, knowing my mom, knowing how protective she was to me; her answer would be a big fat ‘NO’ (plus hundreds of exclamation points).

We walked in to my room, smiled to each other, and giggled like kids.  We were both satisfied.  Maybe just maybe, it doesn’t matter what already happened, or what might happen either. Maybe all we should do is focus on the present and enjoy it rather than regret and let it become another misery of the past.

Kai is the only person who knows how to make me happy. I always tell him that, and he would respond with, “That’s nothing; it was good you know how to enjoy little things. It would mean nothing for any other girl out there.  That’s why you’re special.”

“And so do you.” I’d whisper to myself.

I remember how I’d always see dandelions floating on the midair, I’ll run around and follow it just so I can catch it and make a wish. Whenever I lose an eyelash, I blow it off my finger and make a wish. Seeing a shooting star in the darkness of the sky and making a wish. Coincidentally catching on the time 11:11 and making a wish. And making a wish just before I blow out my birthday candle.

And every year, every birthday candle, every dandelion and eyelashes, every time I catch up with 11:11, I’ve always had a single wish.

To have someone, like a best friend. Someone who would be there no matter what time is it. That one person in my phone contacts whom I can talk to in the middle of the night. Someone who would be ready for my uncontrollable laughter’s, random singing, my ranting’s and dramas.

And throughout the long waiting, I’ve got an answer.

They gave me Kai.

Of the few things that I could be thankful for in my life, Kai was one of them.

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..- .. - .-- .- .- .. . -.

Few days later, Kai’s mom died. For the second time, I saw him crying again. That pained me, big time. It was heartbreaking, for a second it felt like I was watching my mom cry because of me.

Kai walked towards me, wiped his tears and smiled as if it doesn’t hurt.

“Hey it’s cold out here, we should go in. Your mom’s been looking for you for quite a while.” His voice was shaking and sounded sad.

“Are you okay?” I couldn’t bear not to ask him.

“This too shall pass.” Was all he said.

I wish I could do something to make him feel better. But sometimes you need to leave someone alone and let him settle for himself. Sometimes other people’s words and encouragement doesn’t always help, if that person is not willing to get over it and move on.

Kai seemed to move on, but not totally. Kai had minimized talking; he would refrain from telling me stories, and ‘it’ felt weird, ‘I’ felt weird.

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-.-. .-- - -.-. ....

It was the first time I spent a whole month staying at home. Which gave me solitude, I felt solitary. Not lonely, being lonely means you need someone to be there for you. But being in solitude means you need no one but yourself.

I thought everything was so much better, but ‘being better’ was an illusion. I found myself lying in the hospital again, exhausted like ever. I couldn’t remember anything, except having dinner with my parents last night. My mom told me that while having dinner, I had a nosebleed and fainted.

Kai was sleeping at the couch beside my bed. I watched him sleeping. Few minutes passed and he woke up, and showed a wondrous smile on his face.

“I should’ve been there. I’m sorry.”  He went closer and hugged me, and whispered on my ear, “Everybody else would come and go, but I would stay. I would.” I can hear the sound of his smile.

I felt grateful, ever so grateful and wondered why my heart hasn’t burst and bled out of my chest yet.

“You promise?” I asked.

“I swear.” He said. Kai never used the word ‘promise’; he said he hates it because ‘promises are meant to be broken’, which is proven for dozens of times.

I felt tired all of a sudden so Kai told me to sleep. 

-----------

-.. -.-- ... - --- .--. .. .-

I’ve been suffering with pain, migraine and exhaustion for 2 days. I had no appetite. I could barely eat, but I feel nauseated a lot. The medicines I take were doubled and taste so much bitter; I almost lost my taste buds. I’ve been staying to the ICU. I was mostly sleeping; doctors and nurses were going in and out of my room. It felt like my illness is slowly eating me up. I am ready to die, but the people around weren’t so I try hard to fight it out.

Kai stayed with me for almost 12 hours every day. I worried about him a lot, he looked tired. I think he’s lacking sleep.

One time, I woke up at midnight and saw him sitting on the couch; he wasn’t sleeping no matter how late it is. I pretended to sleep. Just then, he went out of the room. I followed him but I stayed at the room and just took a peek of what he’s up to outside.

Outside was my mom, Kai and the doctor. They seem to be talking about me, I guess. So I leaned my ears closer and tried to listen. I saw my mom crying, and Kai is comforting her.

“I’m sorry to say but, your daughter may only have more than a year to live. She may or may not make it up to that day, we can never be sure. Let’s just hope for the best.” The doctor said and left.

Mom fell on her knees, and I can see Kai trying to hold back his tears. I wanted to go closer to them, but I thought that was only going to make everything worse. They were getting closer to the room so I hurriedly went back to my bed, covered my face with the blanket and closed my eyes. I quietly cried under the blanket so one would see. I can’t let them see me like this, not now, not ever.

Knowing I only had few months left, I ended up counting days I had left to live. I would often find myself crying in the middle of the night, helplessly breathing in the scent of salty tears.

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... ..- - --- -.

Kai knew that I have eavesdropped on everything they talked about; he apologized to me a lot.

“You know what,” I said, “every time the doctor say I only have this much time left, I never believed him.”

“I feel the same way”. He would respond.

“Because it wouldn’t happen, is that what you think?”

“I would like to think of it that way.” He said.

“I never believed it, not because it wouldn’t happen. Because I know, sooner or later I can die. We’ll all die, maybe not now or not so soon, but we will, eventually.”

“Please, could you just stop?” He raised his voice and I felt sad about that.

He was silent for a moment. ‘Does this deafening silence mean nothing to anyone but me?’ I asked myself.

“If I die, do you think someone will come on my funeral? Will there be a lot of people there? Will anyone even cry for me? Will you?”

He stood up and said, “You can’t do this, you know?” He turned his head away. He was so disappointed. But I couldn’t help it. I was afraid, afraid that my existence will be forgotten. I’m scared all the people who I think about, the people who I laugh with and the people who are always there will manage to erase our memories together, slowly fading away as time ticks by. Most of all, I wanted him to accept that fact, because maybe…maybe it will be easier that way.

Kai looked at me and said, “Nobody is ever going to cry, because you’re not going to die.” He was trying hold back his tears, and suddenly tears were uncontrollably falling on his cheeks.

“Ah! What to do with these tears, they won’t stop falling.”  I can see him trying to force a smile.

“That’s the thing with tears, they’re meant to fall. Don’t stuff everything in your heart, it might burst.” I was trying to comfort him.

He held my hand and asked me not say those things again. I nodded.

“Because maybe you don’t care, but I do. And no matter how tiring it is to pick up all the broken pieces of the things around me, even if I want to stop. I can’t. I will always care, Always.”

I knew he was mad at me for asking those things, he is.

“I’m sorry”, was the last thing I heard from him.

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.-.. .----. . ... .--. .-. .. - / -.. . / .-.. .----. . ... -.-. .- .-.. .. . .-.

My health was much better after staying 3 months at the hospital. But with it came this undesigning feeling, like how good things always have a remorseful consequence behind it. It was strange, Kai wasn’t there with me like he used to. I would call him, he would answer it but he won’t talk. I felt really guilty; it was my fault after all.

The next day, I found out something I should never have, my parents decided for us to go abroad to continue with my medication. It took them days to convince me, I spent days of crying. Everything seems to be going downhill, things were on juxtaposition. And Kai, he knew everything. He knew it ever since the day he took me to the hill, I felt betrayed at some point. I suddenly felt guilty and hurt for telling him all those things we talked about, about me dying, everything. I regret that. But it’s too late to turn back the hands of the clock and take back all that was said and done. 

It was my parents’ decision after all; hence, I had no choice.

We packed our things; I only took those I can use, not everything. It’s not as if I’m not coming back. We got to the airport 20 minutes before our flight. I was worried, worried that Kai won’t come. I haven’t seen him for so long. I missed him; I’m going to miss him so much. As we were sitting at the airport, I can’t help but jerk my head from left to right, expecting to see him.

It was time for us to go. Kai didn’t come. I wanted to cry.

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.-- . .-.. - ... -.-. .... -- . .-. --..

We’ve settled at my granddad’s house. The place felt nostalgic, filled with memories and it was blissful, just like how memories can warm us up on the inside. I liked it, I liked the place, and it felt like…home.

 I thought he forgot me, but Kai emailed me one day. He would email me about what’s up to him every day. Kai said he was going to a university this month and he’s taking up Arts and Writing. He wrote, “I guess you were right about telling me I was a good writer. And I trust you with that. Someday, I’m going to write about the story of our lives.” He would email me every day, which kept up for 2 months. It reminded me of how we were back then. He was always a good talker but he was a better listener. I would often tell him, “I’m sorry if I’ve ever told you the same story twice it’s just that i don’t have an interesting life and cool things rarely happen to me” and he would respond with, “Stories don’t really matter, it was how the person wholeheartedly shares even the littlest part of her life.”

I was naïve for doubting him. I guess it wasn’t really about walking on the same direction with him, but the thing of even walking at the opposite path and not forgetting to gaze at each other.

----------

Six months of staying there felt like a thousand years. I was always lying in bed every single day, it was tiring. I haven’t had the chance to look at the place I’ll be staying in, nor had the time to appreciate what life has to offer me. I was forbidden for any physical activity.

“I just have cancer, and I’m not dead yet. But it felt like that throughout my existence.” I often tell mom.

“I’m sorry; please bear it for the last time.” Mom responded.

I know that, I always did. I’m still alive but I’m barely living.

I haven’t received Kai’s emails for the past few months. Just then, a lot of questions were spinning on my mind. Did he get sick of me? Did he manage to forget me? Have I done something wrong? What has he been up to? I miss him.

I couldn’t avoid thinking that way. It was heartbreaking to see and feel how things can change no matter how you stop it from happening.

Just thinking about the fact that maybe, just maybe he forgot me, is constantly and painstakingly piercing through me. I hope I shouldn’t think this way. It makes me emotionally sad. Sleep helps me balance my emotions. But I barely get enough hours of sleep. More often, I’d lie down and close my eyes, but forgot to sleep.

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... .- ..- -.. .- -.. .

Three hundred and sixty five days later, I was still alive. This was supposed to be the last day of my life, but I survived. And I’m coming home today. Finally, I get to see the things and faces I missed. Kai was the first person I wanted to see, more than anyone else.

I told my mom to head straight into Kai’s house. On the way there, I felt nervous and excited at the same time. My hands were shaking and mom would hold my hand and tell me ‘everything’s going to be fine’.

This is it.

We went out of the car. And just as we took a step closer to the house, we ran into Kai’s father.  Words and greetings were exchanged. Mom started talking about my recovery and all. I was eager to ask about Kai, but I can barely talk. I hope they could at least spare me some time.

“I’m glad you’re all fine now.” Kai’s dad told me.

“Thank you, sir.” I responded. “Sir…I…..can I ask…….where’s Kai?” Finally! I got to take out those words out of my mouth, but I was still stuttering.

Mr. Kim quite of frowned. A frown, what does that supposed to mean? I didn’t understand his reaction, which made me feel nervous, the kind of nervousness which triggers you to feel apnea.

He offered us to sit on the wooden bench on their garden. Mr. Kim started talking about Kai. He said he had amnesia, because of an accident 6 months ago. He said Kai was on his way to the airport to visit me because it was summer, but unfortunately he bumped into another car. He was confined at the hospital for 13 weeks, to recover. He wasn’t seriously injured physically but he lost his memories. I was really shocked, I couldn’t respond to Kai’s dad at all. His dad was starting to tear up, but fights it.

“He really wanted to see you, but he couldn’t. I feel really sorry for you, for all of us and especially Kai. I hope you can be strong for him.”

“I’m really sorry sir. I sincerely apologize.” I cried. I thought to myself that it was my fault.

Mom hugged me. I ran to the car, I wanted to go, runaway from nowhere, everywhere, somewhere far away from here.

My mom and Kai’s dad talked. I hear Kai’s dad telling mom to go visit Kai at their new house. And then we left.

Life was really ironic, I thought. It passes by really quickly when you don’t want it to, time flies when you’re nothing but happy, everything ends when you’ve finally settled and became comfortable with where you are.

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.... . .-. ... -.-. .... -- . .-. --..

I wasn’t ready to see him. I am having a hard time right now and so he is. I’m afraid everything gets complicated again. I’ve been emotionally drained lately. I couldn’t think straight and my mind has been like a dead rock. I feel so tangled up in my emotions.

I spent every day alone; I’ve shut myself on my room, slowly forgetting what happiness feels like, losing warmth and friendship, shrouded by depressing thoughts. I’m drowning on my own emotions. Tears seem so much closer to me than a smile; I think I might not be able to smile again.

My mom entered my room and saw me crying. She went closer, hugged me and said, “Sweetie, remember when you almost died at the hospital and Kai held your hand and said, ‘no matter how stormy your life is right now, always remember that it doesn’t always rain’.

That hit me. I realized I was wrong for running away, I thought I’ve done everything all wrong and that I’ve been too passive.

-----------

.-. . - .-. --- ..- ...- .- .. .-.. .-.. . ...

We decided to go to Kai’s place the day after. Surprisingly, their new place was down the hill where Kai and I used to go.

His father was waiting for us outside. Once we got out of the car, he would greet us. Kai’s father and my mom stayed outside, and talked.  My feet automatically walked closer to their door. But just before I enter, I stared at the tree up the hill. I wanted to go there, but I feel strange going back to the same places without the same people. I stood there, wondering how things were so so so different at this same place last year. Going there alone would make me irrevocably think that the place has lost its vivid magnificence of colors, frolicking exuberance and spoilt rashness.

I went in. The place was filled with pictures hanging on the wall, it felt like a museum. The lone window would show up the beautiful scenery.

A door was slightly open, and I sneakily took a peek inside. I saw a guy on the table; he seems to be working on something. I went closer. He looked busy, but the person still gave a glare. Without a doubt, it was Kai. My heart stopped, my eyes started to tear up, and my mouth dropped in surprise. Our eyes met, and tears were starting to fall from eyes. All the memories I had with him flashbacked on my mind, I couldn’t talk in so much awe.

“Would you mind if I ask your name?” He asked and smiled. I was overjoyed hearing him talk again. But the thing about him asking for my name makes me want to die inside. I was about to respond but he pointed out on something and said, “This is you, right?”

He was pointing at a photo on his wall. It was our photo taken from the hill. I smiled, I guess he knows that I knew him and he knew me before the accident happened and that we had memories together. I took a step closer to him, and not hesitated to hug him, he hugged me back.

“I’m sorry I can’t remember you that well, but I swear to try hard to bring back all the memories.” Kai whispered to my ear.

That touched my heart. Kai once told me not to touch anything with half of my heart, and I believed him. I always do and always will.

“If you remember me, then I don’t care if everybody else forgets.” I closed my eyes to grasp the moment.

“And I’ll be your memories.” I whispered.

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. - .... . .-. . .- .-.. .. - -.--

Kai is still on recovery process, and he’s doing quite well, much better.  I learned how to decipher the Morse codes that he wrote on our photos and the writings on his notebook. I studied it, to be able to teach him again. I was amazed when I read the codes on our photos.

This was what was written:

.. / .... .- ...- . / .-. .. .--. .--. . -.. / .- -. -.. / -.-. .-. ..- -- .--. .-.. . -.. / .- / -. ..- -- -... . .-. / --- ..-. / -. --- - . ... --..-- /

.-- .- ... - . -.. / .. -. -.- ... / .- -. -.. / - .... .-. --- .-- -. / -.. --- --.. . -. ... / --- ..-. / .--. . -. ... --..-- /

... .--. . -. - / .... --- ..- .-. ... / .-. ..- -- .. -. .- - .. -. --. / --- -. / - .... . / .-. .. --. .... - / .-- --- .-. -.. ... / - --- / ... .- -.-- / - --- / -.-- --- ..- .-.-.- /

-... ..- - / -. --- / -.-. --- -- -... .. -. .- - .. --- -. / --- ..-. / - .-- . -. - -.-- / ... .. -..- / -.. .. ..-. ..-. . .-. . -. - / .-.. . - - . .-. ... /

-.-. --- ..- .-.. -.. / . ...- . .-. / .- -.-. -.-. ..- .-. .- - . .-.. -.-- / --. .-. .- ... .--. / . ...- . -. / .- / - .. -. -.-- / ... .-.. .. ...- . .-. /

--- ..-. / .-- .... .- - / - .... .. ... / ..-. . . .-.. .. -. --. / .. ... .-.-.- /

.. / .... .- ...- . / - -.-- .--. . -.. / - .... .. ... / --- ..- - / .- / -- .. .-.. .-.. .. --- -. / -.. .. ..-. ..-. . .-. . -. - / .-- .- -.-- ... --..-- /

-... ..- - / .. - / .- .-.. .-.. / -.-. --- -- . ... / -.. --- .-- -. / - --- / - .... .. ... ---... /

-. --- / --- -. . / -.-. --- ..- .-.. -.. / . ...- . .-. / -.-. --- -- .--. .- .-. . / - --- / -.-- --- ..- .-.-.- /

.. / .-.. .. -.- . / -.-- --- ..- .-.-.- /

.. / .-.. .. -.- . / -.-- --- ..- / .... .- .--. .--. -.-- --..-- /

.- -. -.. / .. / .-.. .. -.- . / -.-- --- ..- / ... .- -.. --..-- /

.. / .-.. .. -.- . / -.-- --- ..- / . ...- . .-. -.-- - .... .. -. --. .-.-.- /

-.-- --- ..- / .- .-. . / -- -.-- / .... --- .--. . / ..-. --- .-. / - .... .. -. --. ... / .- - / - .... . / -- --- -- . -. - .-.-.-/

. ...- . .-. -.-- - .... .. -. --. / .--- ..- ... - / -- .- -.- . ... / ... . -. ... . / .-- .... . -. / .-- . .-. . / - --- --. . - .... . .-. .-.-.- /

.. - / .. ... / .- -. / .. -. -.-. .-. . .- ... .. -. --. .-.. -.-- / --- ...- . .-. .-. .. -.. .. -. --. / .- -. -.. / --- ...- . .-. -... . .- .-. .. -. --. / ..-. . . .-.. .. -. --. .-.-.- /

.- -. -.. / . ...- . .-. -.-- / -.. .- -.-- --..-- /

.. - / --. . - ... / .... .- .-. -.. . .-. / - --- / .-. . ... - .-. .- .. -. / ..-. .-. --- -- / - . .-.. .-.. .. -. --. / -.-- --- ..- / .. / .-.. --- ...- . / -.-- --- ..- .-.-.- /

-.-- --- ..- / -- .- -.- . / -- -.-- / .... . .- .-. - / -.. --- / -.-. .- .-. - .-- .... . . .-.. ... .-.-.- /

- .... .. ... / .. ... / -. --- - / .-- .... . .-. . / --- ..- .-. / ... - --- .-. -.-- / . -. -.. ... --..-- /

.. / .-- .- ... / .-- .. - .... / -.-- --- ..- / .- .-.. .-.. / .- .-.. --- -. --. .-.-.- /

.- -. -.. / .-- .. .-.. .-.. / .- .-.. .-- .- -.-- ... / -... . .-.-.- /

. ...- . -. / .. ..-. / - .... . / ... ..- -. / ..-. .- .. .-.. ... / - --- / ... .... .. -. . .-.-.-

Kai might have forgotten how I look, how I talk, how I smell and he might even forgot the memories we had together but it is fascinating enough to know that he never forgot I was once and will always be a part of his life.

I’ve learned that life can be happy but it can be sad as well. Because sometimes only by being sad is when you can truly appreciate what it is like to be happy. That only after you have felt the rain, can you then feel the true warmth of the sunshine. 

Everything falls into place just like it did last time. And I’m grateful, ever so grateful that Kai hasn’t forgotten, and at least this part of life will remain as beautifully constant for an indefinite amount of time.

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