“When I fell in love, I’ll be so into it…to the point of losing the reason.”

-Choi Seunghyun-

Yuri woke up as the blaring light burned her bare shoulder. She opened her eyes slowly, blinking a couple of times to adjust her sight to the eye blinding sunlight. She startled to see her arm was draped on someone’s chest and she felt inside the comfy white blanket. She gathered the duvet close to her chest but she halted abruptly when a raspy voice greeted her ears.

“Good morning,” said he.

She stopped dead in her movement, clasping a handful of blanket in her small palm. “G-good m-morning,” she stuttered.

“How was your sleep?” Seunghyun asked.

“Pleasant,” she answered curtly. Awkwardness restricted her speech.

“I was thinking to ask you about your night…” he said chuckling. “…but since I already knew the answer…”

Yuri gaped in response. Heat burned her cheeks and she flustered. Her heartbeats accelerated in seconds.

She remained silent for a while, lying next to him as he her arm gently. She bit her lower lips as she waited for him to say or do anything.

“Did I hurt you?”

“W-what?” she gasped. “What kind of question is that?”

“Well, I just asked you about something that has been lingering in my mind since earlier this morning,” he said softly. “…and I want to create a little conversation since you’re not saying anything.”

“And you chose that question to ask?” she said bewildered. “Well, I’m fine and to be a matter of fact, I’m not hurt. Thank you for your concern.” She pressed her lips together trying to hide her embarrassment.

“Hey,” Seunghyun panicked. He reached for her arms and lifted her to sit upright in front of him. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to offend you… You’re mad now aren’t you. I’m so sorry.”

She exhaled slowly and shifted her gaze up to him. “I’m not mad and I’m not in pain. I just…”

“Han Yuri,” Seunghyun asked in a soft yet commanding voice. “Tell me what’s wrong?”

She sighed and ran her blushing face to her left, not wanting to meet his strong gaze.

“It was nothing,” she mumbled. “I just… well. I don’t know what to say… or do… right now. I don’t know how other people going through this kind of moment but I felt… awkward.”

Yuri glared at him as she heard a faint laughter erupted from his mouth. “You’re thinking this is funny? Guess what? I don’t feel like laughing,” she pouted. “I feel ridiculous.”

He smiled warmly at her. “Yes, you are. You are ridiculously adorable,” he commented. “I feel like falling in love with you again.” He leant closer to her and kissed her gently on the mouth.

She bit her lips as he broke the kiss and gazed at him fondly. “Now is my turn to ask. How was your night?”

“The best night of my life,” he said smiling.

“Really? The best ever?”

He nodded silently, a sweet smile stretched on his thin lips. “You don’t believe me?”

“Well, that seemed a little bit exaggerated and hard to believe.” She secured her arms tightly around the duvet on her chest. “I don’t know… how you feel… about that. But for me, last night was… amazing. It was my first time of knowing that there’s no limit of loving someone.”

“And I love you. You are my first love and even though I’m not the first one who holds your heart…”

She held her breath as she spoke quickly. “But I love you now…”

“Shhh,” he whispered and caressed her pink lips with his thumb. He ran his fingers through her hair and cradled her face with both of his hands. “But I don’t care, because I intended to be your last.”

Yuri stood in a spacious brown room, examining her surroundings carefully. She saw her huge wedding picture hung grandly just above the headboard, her favourite peony bouquet on her bedside table and the Cinderella story book that her mother used to hum to her every night when she was a little girl, hidden among her other precious books. Her eyes focused on a pair of glass slipper that concealed in a transparent box and she smiled faintly. The memory of Seunghyun searching for her on the beach flooded into her mind. It felt like yesterday she met him, falling in love and finally be together.  Her vision then shifted to a wide mirror in the corner of her room where an image of a lady emerged. Her skin has withered, there are a lot of fine wrinkles on her face and she looked at her with a weak gaze and narrowed eyes. Ironically, that was her. Han Yuri was an old woman now.

Her trail of thought was disturbed by an intrusion by a man who was wearing a white striped shirt and grey pants. With a rectangular glasses and a bright smile, his face was soft and his expression was lovely. He stepped inside with quiet steps and hugged her back gently. His hands were still sturdy, but he gained a few pound in years and he had a beer belly protruded slightly.

“What are you still doing here alone?” the man said in his rough voice. “Everyone is waiting for you”

“I just remember the past. Our memory together,” she answered smiling. “Time flies in a flash isn’t it?”

He said nothing, just smiling widely and he kissed on top of her hair where strands of silver dominated her old black wavy hair.

“Mom, Dad…” a girl called out from the door. “Oops, sorry for bothering,” she said giggling covering her eyes with her palm instantly. “I just want to say that, dinner’s ready.”

“We’ll be there soon,” Seunghyun said calmly with his arms still encircling his wife’s waist.

“Okay,” Hana said with a smile, putting down her hand and closed the door behind her slowly. They could hear her giggles while she walked away.

“We should go now. We don’t want to keep everyone’s waiting, don’t we? They must be hungry.” Yuri pulled his hand towards the door.

He jerked her arm gently turning her to face him. “I want to be the first one to say this,” he paused. “Happy 35^th anniversary, my dear.” He bent towards her to kiss her wasted cheek.

Yuri smiled at him. “Happy 35^th anniversary to you too. Thank you for the lovely years.”

“I love you,” he said fondly.

Her lips upturned as she replied. “That’s why we’re here.”

Yuri's POV

I stared across the night sky where there a no star scattering the black canvas. I lifted my gaze and saw the moon was dimly lighted covered with puffy clouds and the night seemed to be…quiet and too lonely. I was sitting in my wheelchair in the balcony, trying to reminiscence my past life. My happy ending. I bent down to a piece of creased paper in my withered hands. The paper that used to be white turned brown and wrinkled with time. It was a love letter from Seunghyun. His first and last.

The man was a wonderful guy and I’m the lucky one to be able to meet him and spent my entire life with him. He showed me that happily ever after do exist in this messed up world. He showed me that when there’s love, there’s hope and despite every odd, love does conquers all. I smiled weakly. Longing swelled up in my frail heart. He was no longer here. He was gone…long gone. It has been five years since he left me. And all I have  was the memories of him, his descendent and this piece of the handwritten letter that proved to me that he really did exist.

Tears trickled on my wrinkled cheeks when I remembered him. He broke his promise. He told me that he will never leave me but here I am, continuing my life without him. I guessed our wedding vow really worked its magic. Till death do us apart, and death really did separated us apart.

It was raining that day when he was on his way home. Suddenly, he encountered an accident that occurred just a few meters ahead on the road. His driver was panicked and turned the steering wheel immediately to avoid crashing into them and ceased to a halt abruptly, slamming hard into the concrete divider.

He was still alive when the paramedics arrived. They pulled him carefully when he was stuck between the seats and rushed to the hospital. My fragile heart was thumping loudly when I heard the news and my legs went weak. I can’t even move. I dragged my wobbled legs to the hospital just to see him, because it may be the last time I even see him breathing. And I was right. I stood beside him when he had his last breath. He was breathing my name, one last time with a faint smile, and he was gone.

The time without him was empty. Just like my soul has vanished along with him. The feeling I felt was like when my father passed away several years after we’re married. Pain and sorrow swallowed me whole. But in that time, he was there to keep me strong and right now; I have no one to comfort me. Even there’s always someone who took care of me. Our lovely children, Hana and Ill Woo, who showers me with their love. But, everything else was dead. Sunrise doesn’t excite me anymore and sunset was nothing, just twilight. A brief intermediate view of orange sky that doesn’t fascinate me any longer. Time passed slowly and I lost count of how many years has gone.

I read his last letter every night after I received it from his lawyer. He had me promise to live happily even when he was no longer here beside me. He already knew that he might leave me alone. What a cruel guy. And to his amusement, I did what he asked me to do, living happily. Every day I woke up to watch our grandchildren readied for school and she kissed me goodbye when she took off. I would spend my noon with a cup of tea and a book on the balcony. In the evening, I took care of my flower garden where roses and peony lives happily. And at night, his letter will accompany me until I sleep.

I’ve lived my life quite happily isn’t it? Just like he wanted.

I inhaled slowly. Breathing has been a little difficult for me like the air was no longer enough for me. Maybe it’s not the air to be blame. Maybe it was just me. I’m the one who doesn’t need the air to breathe anymore, I just need him.

My eyes started to blur and my feet went cold. I tried to reach for my blanket in my lap with shaky hand but I couldn’t. My arms felt heavy and my throat felt coarse and dry. The letter slipped through my fingers, falling to the floor and I slouched in my wheelchair. In my bleary vision I saw a glimpse of his smile in the blaring light and I halted. My chipped lips stretched into a smile and I lifted my hands to him, trying hard to touch him even just a graze. My eyelids were no longer able to hold the heaviness and it shuts completely leaving me lost in the black shadow.

But in that instant, I don’t care anymore. I don't care about my frozen limbs...or the scorching pain I felt in my throat. All that matters for me was…

He was mine.

And I was his.

"I loved you once, I love you still. I'll love you forever..."

-Han Yuri-