Today was the third day she had left Jung Min at the recording studio.  She was confused and had a lot of things in her mind.  Never once she went back to SS501 apartment.  Where had she been hiding?  Her room in the hospital and her apartment.  Sure, her brother was there most of the time but she had found a way to avoid him.  When her brother was at the hospital, she went to her apartment and vice versa. 

Tonight she’s back at her room at the hospital.  She looked over to her body from where she was standing, near the window.  Her physical self has gotten skinny.  13 days.  Tomorrow would be 2 weeks her body laid at the same bed in this room.  Now that she has made the decision to be back here, she had hoped she would be back inside her physical room soon, but it seemed, nothing has changed.

‘Eun Hyuk must be lying.  He must’ve just guessed.  Everything is the same as it was before.  I still can’t force myself to be back inside.  And after what I have said to Jung Min, I don’t think I could go back there.’  She sighed.

Diverting her sight back to the night scenery outside the window, she heard the footsteps of the night shift nurses coming in to check on her condition, like the same nights before.  She ignored them.

“I really pity this girl’s brother.”

That statement made her turned.  She continued to keep an ear to the two nurses’ conversation.

“I know what you mean, unnie.  He had been coming in and stayed the whole day, from morning until the end of the last visiting hour at night since he first came here.  I heard he even quit his job oversea just to be able to be here for the sister,” said the short haired nurse.  Well, it’s best just to acknowledge her as Nurse 1 and the older nurse as Nurse 2.

‘My selfish brother quit his job to look over me?  That can’t be true...,’she said to herself, unable to believe what she just heard.

“Sometimes, when I have the day shift, I would see him reading something for her.  Like a diary.  I wonder if he’s trying to tell her about his life oversea.  They must have been really close to one another.  I hope she would wake up soon,” Nurse 2 added on to the conversation while adjusting to her drip speed.

She dissed at the statement, “Close?  I hate him.”

Nurse 1 who was changing her urine pack continued, “I’m not sure.  I heard the doctor said yesterday that her condition is not looking very good.  Dr. Yang and the others seem confused as to why she’s in a coma for so long.  Normally for her kind of injury, they don’t really exceed more than 5 days.  Her injuries are getting better but her heart is getting weaker.  The doctors are stumped on this case.”

“You should never say anything like this in front of the brother.  I really pity him.  Let the doctor tell him of his sister’s condition themselves.  So, are you done?  Let’s go to the heart transplant patient next,” said the older nurse, Nurse 2, to Nurse 1 as they made their way out of her room.

‘I’m getting worst?  My heart is getting weaker?  But, I didn’t injure my heart during the shot.  What does this mean?  I’m really going to die?  Even if I’m already near to my physical body?’   

She stared at her body and shook her head.  She’s not ready to die.  Jung Min’s face appeared in her mind suddenly and it made her felt hard to breathe.  Her spirited body slumped to the floor.  Her hand clutched to her heart.  Flashes of her memory with Jung Min played like a movie in her head.  The fun she had, the flushed she felt when she was looking at him and being caught by him, the giddiness when she saw his smile and his pout, the calm and relieve feeling when Jung Min told her that he would be there for her.   All of it made her realized the thing that she had missed before.

‘Oh my god…’

She cried then and there.  Both of her hands covered her face as she released all of her emotion when she realized what she was feeling and how she has crushed her chances before it even started.

“Soo Min?  Why are you crying?  Why does every time you reappear in front of me, you are crying?”

‘Jung...Jung Min?’

She slowly opened her eyes and from between the cracks of her two hands, she saw a silhouette figure sitting on a bed in front of her.  The figure then stood up and moved forward towards her.  As the figure squatted in front of her, she saw clearly who he was.  Park Jung Min.  She wanted to lunge forward towards him and hug him but even in situation like this, her realistic part of the brain stopped her from doing so.

“Soo Min…I’m here.  Please stop crying and tell me what’s wrong.  I can’t hold you.  I really wanted to right now, but I can’t.  The glove is not with me anymore.  So, please move your hand and look at me.  Tell me…what’s wrong?”

Hearing the pleading and concern words coming from him, she slowly wiped away her tears and look at him.  Her eyes staring straight into his eyes.  She was looking at him differently.  She was looking at him with a different set of feeling.  She had just realized what her feelings are for him and now in front of him, she was combating with herself about it.

‘Even if I love him, and even if he does love me…we still can’t be together.  Even if my physical body is still alive, this relationship is not healthy.  It will burden him.’

At that thought she turned her face away from him.

“Yu Soo Min, please look at me.  It has been three days.  Where did you go?  I’m really worried about you…and then you came back, crying.  Chebal…turn around and look at me.  Yu Soo Min…”

She closed her eyes when she heard his continuous pleading.  The tears that have stopped, came running back down her cheeks.  Pursing her lips together, she tried hard to control herself from making a sound and crying even harder. 

“Yu Soo Min…I know this isn’t right…but I can’t fool myself.  I can’t continue pretending.  Saranghae yo…” he whispered close to her ear.

That was it.  Her heart melted and her suppressed feelings cut loose.  She broke down and cried her heart out.  Mixture of feelings overflowed her.  Happiness and sadness collided.

“Jung…Jung Min…we…we can’t.  I…I can’t.  I can’t… give you…”  She tried denying her own feelings when she said it in front of his face.  But deep down, she wanted to believe there was a chance for her to be with him.

“Shhh… I know.  Stop crying… I don’t expect you to give me anything.  I’ve went through this over and over again in my head.  And I’ve made my decision.  Even if I can’t hold you, or hug you, or even kiss you, your presence beside me is more than enough.  Please, always be by my side.  Don’t leave me again,” Jung Min confessed on, his bare hand carefully traced the outline of her face, trying hard not to get it through her.  A comforting smile on his face.

She shook her head, “Minnie…I’m dying.”