It was too big to be denied. They'd tried to, desperately. Minho still recalled that with a painful ache that reached from his heart to his gut, snapping brutally each time he remembered again--

They'd kissed, and it had been his fault. Taemin had looked too good, had been to tempting, too comforting. It was after a stage. No one should have been around to see, but somehow someone had and the massive lens had captured it. Them, more accurately, a full ten seconds of Minho pulling Taemin to him. Taemin's neck stretched out, lovely and pale, arms loose at his sides as Minho gathered him too him, marking Taemin with adoration and softly mouthed, unabashed kisses...

How had something so bare and raw as love and comfort gotten blown up into this massive scandal? It made Minho ill, was what kept him behind doors, only venturing out after he could hide himself between shadows and buildings. Wrapped in the night he was safe and could pretend that no one was looking at him. Choi Minho, such a lovely boy. But he was kissing his bandmate! And oh, it had been his fault too. Taemin was hurting too, shut away in himself with only Kibum and Jonghyun and Jinki to comfort him. But Minho had been so much more a part of everything he'd received the brunt of the bad press.

Besides, it had clear that it was Minho's fault. Taemin hadn't asked to be kissed, Minho had kissed him, briefly, and then he'd gone to go wash his face.

How had they ended up here, cut off from normal shinee activities until the fervor died down, Minho isolated from the world? This was not what he'd wanted. He'd wanted for the two of them to be in love forever, perfectly content to be behind the scenes, a quiet sort of love that people didn’t have to know existed.

And they had. For five years they'd done fine, and then Minho had royally screwed everything over. Why could he not stop himself? Why had he thought that no one would see? How had he not remembered, not been careful? Taemin wouldn't have. He wasn't one to think, or to care. But Minho always knew what they had to lose. Always understood the fine line they walked.

His phone rang for the fiftieth time that evening, sharp and bright, only adding to the ache between his temples. Minho rolled over on the hotel bed, pointedly ignoring it. He didn't want to know who was calling. It would hurt too much if it were Taemin.

'Hi,' Taemin would have said. 'I'm at the store but I forgot with Jinki hyung asked for, what did he want? I don't wanna call him, its too embarrassing--' or maybe it would be 'Minho-ah, they're making me sing something god awful for this drama. Wait til you hear it, its even worse than the to the beautiful you one, I'm serious.'

Not now, though. Taemin wouldn't be saying that. Not that Minho'd had the guts to open any of his texts after the first one he'd gotten from taemin, the one that had read 'I guess this is the end of it then, isn't it'. The end of it. They were past tense now, weren't they? Minho's heart burned, curdled. The end of his having Taemin. That was the worst part of everything, worse than losing his roles in any of his dramas, worse even than putting the entirety of shinee into an indefinite hiatus.

He fell asleep then, phone silent as the grave.

There was an awful rapping on the door. Minho sat up, swinging his legs off the bed, trying to recalibrate himself. What time was it anyway? The room was dark; it could have been any time. The clock read four, though. Probably pm. He didn't feel as though he'd been sleeping for more than a few hours.

Rapping again, this time accompanied by a familiar voice, hoarse and angry.

Minho leapt off the bed, ignoring the pounding headache that surged up into existence at his abrupt move. It sounded like taemin, angry but here, not shutting him out as Minho had expected—or as he'd been doing to him.

He flung the door open. It was taemin indeed, a wild, breathless, angry taemin with dark circles beneath his eyes and mussed hair.

'you are the most self centered, cruel person I know right now,' taemin said. then he flung himself at Minho, arms flailing, wild punches swinging left and right. 'you—not answering anything—hiding away—had to steal manager hyung's phone to get your room number, then I had to sneak here in a wig so I wouldn't get caught--' his voice cracked as Minho caught his arms and pulled him close, holding taemin near for the first time since he'd kissed him onstage.

'I'm sorry.' Minho truly was sorry, sorry and more guilty than he'd ever conceived was possible. 'I don't know what to say, taemin. I don't know what to think.'

Taemin went limp. 'I can't do anything anymore. Not without you with me. I can't do this anymore, you've spoiled me too badly, do you know that? I'm wrecked too far to be able to function in any sort of life without you a phone call away. I can't, Minho. You have to be here.'

Taemin's heart was beating birdlike against his chest. 'I’ve spoiled you.' He'd not spoiled Taemin, Taemin had spoiled him.

'Promise me,' Taemin said harshly, pulling back from Minho, eyes narrowed, hands gripping at Minho's shirt with strength that Minho still wasn't used to, 'that you will not mess with me again like this. Scandal or not. No matter what happens, Choi Minho, you cannot—I will not—I can't. You're supposed to love me, aren't you? You said that you would, and I’m supposed to be able to count on that!'

Minho nodded, heart shattering again at this taemin, frustrated and fragile and demanding promises Minho should have never been capable of breaking. 'I promise.' He did love him, even now when he was so far beyond anything he'd ever thought he was capable of being. 'I'm sorry,' he said again, hoping--futilely--that doubling the words would erase some of what he'd just done. 'I love you. Let me love you again.'

And Taemin, blissfully, sunk into Minho, face pressed into the crook of his neck. 'I'll let you love me still. I'll always let you.'

There was a brief flutter of a future, a glimpse of hope past the dim hotel room and the slice of light from the still-cracked door. Because no matter what, Taemin would always accept Minho. No matter what, Taemin would always want Minho to love him.