sign-in sheet:

 

 

members of the supernatural gang (I mean... infinity gang... the power):

 

 

• • • • • • •

 

"Is the Shepherdess and her little black ram here yet?" Casanova whispered as he peered over his fabulous phone, looking like a sneaky bastard.

 

"No. Why?"

 

"Good. I got something to show you guys."

 

"We don't need to see your new girlfriend at every goddamn meeting, lover boy."

 

"No, no... guys. This is wayyyy better."

 

The mythical gang (which included the awesome Sandman, the awesome Chaos, the awesome Doom, the awesome Lady Luck, the awesome Fate, etc. get the drift) gathered around Casanova's phone.

 

They stared wide eye at the brilliant screen. "A dating site? You want to show us a dating site?"

 

Casanova held up a finger. "Just wait for it, guys." The screen automatically scrolled down and then, they all saw it.

 

The face of Death.

 

"Oh my ing god. You made this profile for him, didn't you?" Chaos choked on his chewing gum. "It's ing brilliant."

 

"I know, right?" The screen continued to scroll. "It gets better." 

 

"He is so going to get you for this..."

 

"What's he gonna do, huh? Reap my soul?"

 

• • • • • • •

 

Name: Ronald Iggie Pace Death (R.I.P. Death)

Gender: Male

Current Status: Single

Looking for: Long-term Relationship (very long term)

Body Type: Slender

Eyes: Two black voids

Height: 180cm

Hair Type: Bald

Age: N/A

Seeks: Woman for Marriage

Education: Graduate School

Ethnicity: International

Religion: Deathic

Political Leanings: N/A

Occupation: Soul Driving

Means of transportation: Walking

Have children: No

Want children: Hell no

 

About me: Hello, I'm Mr. Death who is looking for a death-long partner. I'm a great businessman, very hard working. I enjoy long romantic walks on the beach and candlelit dinners served with fresh blood. I love visiting new places as well as old, so I spend much of my time on business trips collecting souls of the newly dead. I've been spending more and more time walking around on the job because of the wars and the natural disasters but I will definitely make time for you if you are the one, that special woman. I'm very adventurous, but I'm also a scaredy-cat by nature. I'm pretty reckless though, because my job doesn't allow much time to think things through. That is my wild side if you are interested. There was this one time in college way back in the days, I ended up hitch-hiking with the Italian mob through Russia, and I even decided to live there for a while. The booze is good. This may be totally random but if I could make a tee shirt, it would have to say "Follow Me, I'll take you to a better place." Random is fun. I'm a fun guy. I even have a cute little stick with a sharp curvy moon on the top. It's part of my uniform for work. The clothes are pretty comfortable. Maybe I'll even let you try on one of my black robes if you decide to go on a date with me.

 

I might want to warn you first that I take great pleasure in dislocating my finger bones. So, just be aware of that. I also enjoy doing my nails so if you want a manicure or just want to get a drink late at night then give me a call. You could call my cell phone but the quickest way to reach me is by killing someone. I'll be right there ASAP. It's my job. I'm dedicated. Even though I may be a little bit shy at first, I still love meeting new people but they are so rude sometimes. They kind of run or faint at the sight of me. I know I'm not the most handsome man in the universe but I'm definitely not the ugliest.

 

Anyway, it'll be fun to get to know you a little bit better so don't hesitate to wink at me. Oh and I forgot to mention one small thing. You kind of have to be dead for us to be together long-term relationship-wise so just keep that in mind. Besides that, I'm sure we'll have plenty of fun in the dark. For our first date, I'll take you out to my favorite place for a candle lit dinner. It's where a stone angel cries. Beautiful scenery. Got to love it.

 

My profile picture is me fixing my pricey beauty mask while resting at one of my many private hunting lodges in the underworld.