Every smiles, those moves, and every hand gestures she does as if she's telling me to follow her. Her foot steps seems like they are hitting different tones as they step on the ground. She beamed as she looked back and I simply smiled at her childlishness. The leaves of the trees have turned yellow and some are orange. The yellow leaves from the trees around us fall slowly until they meet the ground. The gust of the cold wind hits our skins and we shiver a little as soon as it touch our skins. She looked back again and a smile adorned her pretty face. Her straight blonde hair falls lightly on her shoulder when the cold wind stops blowing. This straight face of mine can't helped but to smile along with her. Those light footsteps are coming nearer and my eyes are only focusing in one place. That face, that pretty face that I can't erase in my head. The one that always put a warm smile on my lips. The one who erases those bad moments that has happened in my day. Everything about her is my happiness. She suddenly pulled me and held my hand firmly with her own. My thoughts about her were forgotten as soon as she opened those pink lips of hers.  

"Sehun ah, you look bored." I smiled even more for her to see how happy I am when I was with her. It felt warm having her small hands entwined with my own.

"I'm not," I answered shortly, I paused as I looked around and returned my attention back to her again. "Where are we going? Don't tell me we ar-" She nodded so cutely. She pulled me again and I let her led the way.

"I just want to visit that place again." Her smile faded so slowly and I was much worried what was that meant for? "I rarely hang out with you these days." She added.

"I know you are busy and I uderstood that. Don't feel burdern about it." I pinched her smooth cheeks and a whine followed after. I laughed at her cuteness and punched me lightly on the chest. "Don't think too much, Nana. I know you, is there something bothering you?" I shoot her a question. She shook her head hesitantly and remained silent along the way.

We finally arrived on those stairs near to the riverbank. The water flowed so calmly and it was going its way to the ocean. She sat on those big rocks at the end of the stairs as she crouched and watched the clear water in front of her. A smile appeared on my lips, because of how the way she crouched in front of the flowing water. She was like a small puppy with white fluffy fur observing the water before her. I can't take off my eyes of you, my eyes naturally follow you each step you take. But I also can feel that she wants to tell me something and she's gathering her courage before she let it out. This is one of her favourite place to visit and especially in summer, autumn, and fall. It's fall right now and the weather is beginning to get cold. I know from the start that she doesn't like cold weather, but this one, I don't know actually what is going on in her head. 

"Na-"

"Sehun," She finally spoke. I went to stand next to her side and she looked up to me with those sad eyes of hers. I told myself it might be the cold weather that made her eyes a little teary, was it? I assumed it was the weather and hoping it wasn't something serious. 

It hurts me to see her like that and as if what she feels right at that moment I feel the same also. I smiled weakly and jammed my hands in my jeans' pockets. I looked up and watched the sky above us. The sky has this blue and orange colours that is indicating that dusk is about to come. I smiled to myself, but it bothered me a little.

"I'm always here for you Nana. I'm ready to listen to whatever you have in mind. No matter how funny, silly, embarrassing, and sad it would be. I'll be a good listener just for you."

Nana stood and sat to the nearest stair case to us. I followed suit and sat beside her. She was silent again and how I wished that I could read people's mind, so it would be easier for me to help her. But a hint hit me and I understood what she was acting like that.

"I'm just scared o-"

"Are you thinking about being apart from you?" I asked. Nana had this shocked expression on her face and looked away immediately. I only guessed and thought what had made her look away? Time is running slowly but surely it makes our time shorter to be together.

"You knew?" Asking me, but I was kinda confused by that question. What does she mean by I knew? Waiting for her to continue.

"I can tell from the way you act from these past weeks. I thought it was all about the dance studio where you teach, but I think that wasn't the problem at all."

"I heard you got accepted in University of British Columbia. Why you didn't tell me?" She questioned me in a very low voice. I gulped. Don't tell me it is Luhan? I only told Luhan about this and I haven't told anyone yet. I was gathering the courage before I tell her, but it was all ruined. I shut my eyes and let out a sigh. That's why? I told myself.

"You heard it from Luhan didn't you?" I asked her. She didn't answer. "I won't hurt Luhan don't worry." I paused and an awkward silence was about come around us. "I'm sorry, I'm finding a better way to tell yo-"

"I thought you would stay here in Calgary.." Then added under her breath. "With me." I hugged her and kissed her soft blonde hair. I didn't manage to stop myself from doing it. I was surprised with my own action actually. I prayed silently that she didn't put malice on that kiss. The time is clicking and I can hear my own heart beats faster every second. An unbearable silence followed.

"I'll be visiting you through summer and I'll be here in summer so don't be sad." I said and luckily she didn't put too much attention on it. I asked myself should I confess now to her? Our relationship didn't change since elementary school. We were strangers at first, then we became an acquaintance, friends, and finally we became best friends. This is our last year in high school and still these feelings inside me. I kept them so deeply in my heart. I don't know whether she feels the same as me, because I'm so afraid of breaking this relationship that we have. I don't want to lose her, so I have stayed like this as her best friend for so long. 

"You don't know, Sehun. You don't understand it." She said weakly and I asked her why, but she never dared to bring it up again. I'm not a very pushy person, so I let it go. But it let me wonder and coming up into many very possible conclusions. The sun had gone down and the sky had turned into dark blue.

Months have passed Nana and I are still the same as best friend. She didn't bring it up again, but what worried me that as if she was sick. She's still the same as the Nana I knew from back then, but she was pale this past few months. I'd asked her one day and she quickly denied that it was because of the weather. I didn't buy her lie though and hoping one day she would tell me. Spring is about to end. In just few weeks and summer is ready to welcome us. Although I kept my secret about going to Vancouver like months ago, but she wasn't. She told me that she got accepted in University of Calgary and I kinda feel bad for it. She was so opened to me while me I'd kept it to her and what was worse that she even heard it from someone and it was Luhan instead of me.

"Sehun, can you please come at my house?" I was surprised at her question.

"Your house? You need some help with something?" I heard a sigh on the other line.

"No, I'm scared, my parents will come home tomorrow in the afternoon. I'm here by myself, please."

"Err, you can lock the doors and the windows, so you would be safe." I reasoned.

"Please, geez, Sehun, can you hang out with me? Even in just a few hours?" She pleaded and I could tell that she was pouting at that moment. I agreed though and I told my mom that I was gonna be at a friend's place. I took my car at the garage and drove off to her house. I arrived and parked my car in their garage. I pressed the door bell and I could hear her quick footsteps inside.

"Sehun ah, thank you for coming. Come in." She greeted me with a warm smile. I've been here actually before with her parents of course around and this is my first time visiting her without them. I gulped and she pulled me upstairs straight to her room. She pushed me on her bed and she opened the tv at the end of her bed. 

"Nana ah, you could just lock the doors and windows like what I told you." I said with a small laugh followed. "No one will hurt you."

"What if?" She turned around while raising her eyebrow at me. "You don't want to hear your best friend is in the first head line in the news right?"

"Ok, ok, so what do you want to do?" She placed her index finger on her lips tapping it so cutely. "Since I just opened my tv why don't we watch?" She said.

"I'm fine with it." I said. "I'll prepare for the sna-"

"No, just stay there." She dashes off to the door and she comes back with snacks in her arms. She sat beside me and we watched some movies that was on that day. 

"Aren't you afraid of me?" She looked at me with a frowned on her face.

"Why?"

"You know I'm a guy?"

"If it were you, I wouldn't mind." She said bluntly and I was kinda taken aback, but I didn't think of it too much. I took a deep breathe and tried to focus myself on the screen. An hour later the movie finished. She was crying and I found it even cuter to see her like that.

"That was a good movie." I laughed.

"Yah, you are so easily affected. Cry baby."

"Shut up!" I noticed that it was getting darker outside. I stood up as I could feel her eyes on me.

"Where are you going?" 

"I have to go home now and it's getting dark."

"Please, stay."

"But Nana. I'm still a guy and I don't want your neighb-"

"I don't care what they think about me. I just wanted to be wtih you and since you wouldn't be here this summer. You and your mother are going back to Vancouver." I looked on the floor and bit my lip. "I want this to remember Sehun, please."

"O-ok,"

As usual every steps that she makes and gestures that she does. They were like hypnotizing me with her every movements. She led the way to the pool at their back yard. Her hair bounces a little every steps that she makes. I can't take my eyes off of her. Then she opened the door revealing their pool. She sat on the lounge chair quietly and patted an empty seat next to her. I sat there and watched the sky and stars were beginning to appear.

"I know something is bothering you again, Nana."

"You know me so well aren't you?"

"You can't call me best friend or friend if I don't know anything about you." I giggled.

"I know," She answered. She took her Iphone out. She left her seat and watched her stood before me. She stretched an arm. Then asked me.

"Can we dance?"

"Shouldn't I be the one asking you this?" I stood and knelt on one knee then looked up stretching an arm out to her. She slapped it lightly, but quickly grabbed it and pulled me up.

"Stop, being so gente like guy." She chuckled. She played a song entitled Moon River Waltz by Shinee. It was a very calm song. We started dancing and rested her head on my shoulder. I tensed a little, my heart races, and I was afraid of her finding it out. I pretended that I wasn't affected at all. Her light breathing hit my neck and it was giving me a tickling feeling as we danced.

"Sehun, please....don't leave me, please." She spoke until it became a whisper.

"I'll be visiting you in summer time, Nana. Don't be sad we will be still best friends." I told her. She sniffed and I felt something wet on my shirt. I stopped. She looked up to me and gave me a warm embraced.

"Why are you crying?" I asked, worried.

"Don't go, don't leave me."

"We will see ea-"

"I love you," I was shocked on that sudden confession. "After our graduation, the next day you are going back to Vancouver, please. I know I sounded so selfish now, but I don't care." I hugged her even more.

"Nana, is this why you've been acting so weirdly sometimes around me?" She didn't answer me.

"It hurt me to know that you are leaving. I can't stand the fact that I won't see you in a very long time." She let go of me and stepped back a little. "It's ok if you don't feel the same. I must have ruined it? Aren't I?" Her voice sounded hurt. She turned her back on me, but I pulled her in a one sweet kiss. She was so shock before she finally reciprocated to the kiss. She wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled her closer to me. 

"Don't say that," I gasped for air. "I feel the same way as you since then." I paused. "But I can't my parents wouldn't allow me to stay here anymore. I would want to as much as you wanted to." She bit her lip.

"I-I," She was out of words. But she hugged me instead.

"I guess, the above doesn't allow us to be together." Nana said bitterly.

"I will come bac-"

"You don't understand." She only said. "I wish, it was easy, but it wasn't. Sehun, I-"

"Jin Ah?" Her mom saw us while Nana hugged me tightly. Her arms that were wrapped around me weren't there anymore.

"Ah, Good evening, Aunt Im?" I bowed and I saw her stopping me. What surprised me, she even smiled at me. Does she even know it? I asked myself. She just only nodded. 

"O-Omma? Why you didn't tell me that you were coming back?" She asked.

"I'm sorry, Jin Ah, we forgot something and sorry for interrupting you two. Well, Sehun, I'm glad that it was you and take care of her?" I nodded dumbly. Nana whined like a kid again. She followed her inside and I sat then I quickly processed what just happened a moment ago. She came back and sat next to me. She wrapped her arms around my waist and rested her chin on my shoulder blade. 

"I want this to remember. Geez, that was embarrassing." I giggled.

"As I expected from you. You will complain when you are embarrassed o-"

"Shut up," She pinched my side and I tickled her. She pulled my collar and kissed me again.

"So are we officially?" I asked.

"Nope, this is how I confessed to you, but I really want you to stay here even just for a year. Even for a year and I know it's too much to ask. And I know that even if I say don't go, you won't change it." I asked her what did she mean by that. I could feel that she was hiding something from me. I tried my best to say it in front of me, but she was so stubborn not to tell me. 

Finally, graduation came. We sat in a big hall, all of us wore our graduation gowns, and we sat there with the feeling of being proud to ourselves. We waited until the speeches of our seniors were done then walked on the stage very proudly in front of our parents. Besides of being glad to our acheivements. One person makes me feel concern. Nana has been ill for a week, but she still went to this event. Of course, no one wants to miss this day in ones life, but I think ones health comes first before anything else. I quickly went outside to check on her and it did take a while before I found her with her parents heading to the parking lot.

"Nana.." They looked back to see me. Nana stared at her father and mother then a nod came from her father.

"I think you need to spend more with Sehun dear." Her mom said with a smile. Why does it feel like Nana is so far from me? I don't get it. "And Sehun, can I ask you a favour?"

"Omma!"

"Not this time, Nana."

"Sure, aunt?"

"Can you please take Nana home after your time together?" I felt my cheeks blushing suddenly. I only nodded and Nana approached me. Their car left and we walked for a little.

"I'm sorry, Sehun ah, I totally forgot."

"It's fine." She smiled, but her rosy lips were now as white as her skin. I'm afraid. "Are you sure you're ok? I think you nee-"

"Don't, this will be your last day in Calgary I want to spend more time with you today." She held my hand and I held it tightly as if I felt that she was going to leave me. I heard my phone and answered it.

"Where are you Sehun?"

"I'm with Nana, appa. I'll see you home later."

"Ok, I get it, but don't be late."

"Yeah, thanks appa." I hung up and turned to Nana. "Where do you wanna go?" I asked with a smile on my lips. Nana smiled weakly and answered.

"The hill over there, we can see downtown so clearly on that hill." She pointed to the hill not far away from us.

"You're like a kid." I laughed and playfully punched my arm. "Ok, I'm only joking you know."

"I'm only the same as you." She stuck her tongue out and I even laughed at her more.

We sat on the grassy ground on top of the hill. We could see the city down there clearly and Nana rested her head on my shoulder. It was quiet, but with her by her side, I was already contented with that.

"Nana, are you hiding something from me?"

"No, why?"

"About your health? I know I have made a mistake from the past, but I think you are sufferin-"

"No, it was just a cold..you know there's a summer illness."

"Bu-"

"Not now Sehun, please I don't want to argue with you."

I tried my temper not to get into me this time and kept my cool with much effort. I'm really worried actually, I have a feeling it's not just a cold and it's something serious. Just for the sake of my last day in Calgary my goal was to make Nana happy before I go. We went to the amusement park and I won a big panda for her. Walk to Prince Edward Park until we came to her favourite place near to the river, the stairs. We spent our time there staring at the river and sometimes at the blue orange sky. She looks so happy and I'm so delighted to see her pretty smile again.

"Thank you, Sehun ah."

"What for?"

"For giving me a fantastic day and I hope you will do well in Vancouver. Don't forget me." She said and her eyes were watery. I hugged her for my dear life and I really wanted to stay here as long as she wanted, but dad didn't want me too. It was because of business and he couldn't just let me live here by myself. He wanted to monitor us on his vicinity and I really dislike it.

"I will come back for you." But Nana didn't say a thing and she tightened the hug instead. I released her and kissed her on the lips after. I felt the tears ran down to her cheeks and tasted the salty liquid in my mouth. I broke the kiss to see her tearing up and I tried my best to comfort her but it was no use.

"Sehun, I wish I could go with you instead, but I couldn't." She choked and kissed her forehead.

"Nana, come on, as if we wouldn't see each other." She was quiet again. What is this feeling of losing someone? I could hardly get rid of it in my chest. I want to hold her forever, but I can't.

Two years later, I am doing well at the university that I applied for. I met new friends, but no one could change Nana even havin' a bunch of friends at school. During summer time, I drove back to Calgary. I'm living at Luhan's apartment for a while. It's good to see him doing well in engineering. I saw him preparing breakfast for us when I came out from my temporary room.

"Up so early?" He asked standing by the stove.

"Yeah, I have to visit someone." I said.

"It's her right?" I smiled sadly.

"Just eat before you go man and bring an umbrella for today. I checked the weather that it would rain later this day."

"Thanks, but I'll pass for the breakfast for now. I'll just see you later, bro." He nodded and I headed to the front door then grabbing the umbrella on the way out. Luhan said was true. The sky has this dark clouds up there. I took my car with me and drove to a nearby flower shop. Tha ajumma in the shop greeted me with a warm smile.

"Good morning, young man, what could I help?" I smiled in return.

"I'm looking for a lilac?"

"What a good timing, they just delivered it this morninig and you're so lucky that they are totally fresh." I bought one bouquet of lilacs before I drove to my real destination.

I parked my car near to the side walk. I looked around and it seemed that I was the first person to be there since it was really early like Luhan told me. I pushed the black gate lightly and entered the huge compound. I walked for a few minutes wandering around and bearing the silence around me. A wind passed me so shortly and I stopped.

"Hi," I said and smiled bitterly. I placed the flowers on top of the head stone and sat there quietly. Touching the well carved name on the stone.

"I'm so stupid aren't I? Now understood it clearly why you didn't want me to leave. You want to spend your remaining days with me and telling me, don't go." A moment later the rain poured on me so hard. I forgot the umbrella in my car, so I was soaked and let the tears that I had been holding since this moring I woke up. I cried there mournfully and I noticed I couldn't feel the rain. A shadow was covering my own I looked up to see her mother standing there with a long face.

"You are always here for her I can see that. I'm watching from afar. I'm sorry." I didn't say anything. "I know you are hurt about this. I should've put my daughter first before my own. I was scared of getting in an argument with my husband. I know I was so wrong for finding my own needs from another man. Nana, caught me cheating and threatened me if I told you she would tell my husband. At first, I went along with her, but I told you at the end. I didn't care anymore if I got into fight with my husband, but when you arrived she was dead. Didn't tell you that she was suffering in leukemia."

"It's ok aunt, I understand it. She doesn't want me to worry that's why she did it."

"I'm sorry, kid." I sobbed. She stayed there for a little while before leaving me by my own even though she insisted to accept her umbrella, but I didn't. The rain stopped and also my tears. But I couldn't change the fact I was still sad. The sun slowly came out from its hiding place. Lighting up the world once again after the of what seems darkness. I felt someone patted my right shoulder blade and I looked up and no one was there. I looked around but I was the only person around the place. I stood and I looked back once more at the headstone. What surprised me that I saw someone's feet and looked up. I saw her smiling at me. I blinked once more, but she wasn't there anymore. I rubbed my eyes and tried to look once more and unfortunately I didn't find her there. I noticed a black butterfly appeared out of no where and it was flying around me. 

"So it was you? I'll be back again, tomorrow." I said and left. I'm sure that I wouldn't let those memories go in my head. Those times I was with her were pretty important and memorable to me. I'll treasure it as I treasure our friendship. Then our love in the short course of time.

Finally, I made it! It took me a week to write this lol. I just don't have too much time last week and now it's finally done. Drop down your comments down there lol! Hope that you liked it. I planned to write a HaNana fic, but I really like Sehun with Nana thought :p. And it's not in Korea xD and those stairs I mentioned in the fic. Ahm, I like visiting there with my friend. We always go there to have a serious talk with our lives hahaha. And sometimes going there it's like escaping the reality even just for a few hours. hahaha . Nothing, it's the place we place we hang and bring alots of food xD.. And that butterfly at the end ahm, you know beliefs . Lol the admission was too early.. Anyways, bye bye.